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You are here: Home / DID Education / 50 Treatment Issues for Dissociative Identity Disorder

50 Treatment Issues for Dissociative Identity Disorder

By Kathy Broady MSW 83 Comments

yarn2

 

“I have DID.  How long will it take for someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder to feel better?”

 

As a clinical therapist, I hear that question frequently.  It’s a reasonable question.  I certainly understand that when dissociative trauma survivors are deeply hurting and struggling in their life, they want to feel better as quickly as possible.

However, the clinical treatment for someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID / MPD) is long term.  Some research has said that the treatment can be completed within two or three years, but in my clinical experience, that is far from the truth.

dissociative identity disorder 1
dissociative identity disorder 1 (Photo credit: hunnnterrr)

Dissociative Identity Disorder is a result of long-term, chronic, severe, sadistic child abuse. 

As children, these survivors witnessed and experienced a myriad of heinous crimes.  They typically describe repeated consuming abuse by multiple perpetrators, and then were otherwise emotionally neglected, starving for comfort, consolation, or attention. They were left alone, even while very young, to process and contain their pain by themselves. 

For these children, the splitting process became their way of coping with emotional intensity, conflicts, huge distress, and intense pain that were otherwise far too difficult to manage on their own. 

They blocked off their pain, locked it away from themselves, and left it there.  Sitting, waiting, piling up for years.

dissociative identity disorder 2
dissociative identity disorder 2 (Photo credit: hunnnterrr)

When you understand how much pain and abuse has occurred in order to create the dissociative splits in the first place, it is no wonder that the healing process is also so very long. 

All areas of dissociative survivors’ lives are touched and profoundly changed or affected by the abuse.  It simply takes a very long time to address everything properly.

 

 

Some of the treatment issues for DID are:

 

  • Stabilization of the person – both internally and externally

  • Managing and eliminating self-injury and self-harm issues

  • Examining and obtaining current-day external safety from abuse

  • Internal system safety

  • Developing effective internal communication

  • Calming internal noise and chaos

  • Working specifically with child parts

  • Working specifically with adult parts

  • Working specifically with teenage parts

  • Learning about the other system parts

  • Working with internal perpetrator introjects

  • Creating emotional separation from external perpetrators

  • Working with triggers

  • Correcting cognitive distortions

  • Addressing gender confusion, male vs. female issues

  • Processing emotions

  • Body image issues

  • Reducing time loss, memory loss, amnesia

  • Time confusion, time distortion

  • Trauma processing – memory work

  • Body memories and kinesthetic issues

  • Understanding re-enactments and trauma bonds

  • Healing sexual abuse issues

  • Healing physical abuse issues

  • Healing emotional abuse issues

  • Healing ritualized abuse issues

  • Healing exploitation, pornography, prostitution, sex slavery issues

  • Managing family, marital, parenting issues

  • Addressing addictions

  • Managing eating disorders

  • Household management issues – improving daily functioning

  • Relationship issues and teaching social skills

  • Understanding the effects of trauma on the brain

  • Improving self-independence and self-reliance

  • Improving self esteem issues

  • Leaving disability and regaining employment

  • Depression and medication management

  • Bipolar disorder and medication management

  • Anxiety / Panic and medication management

  • Post-traumatic stress issues (PTSD)

  • Reducing phobias

  • Social anxiety and social isolation

  • Safely eliminating suicidal ideation and suicidal behaviors

  • Homicidal ideation and anger management

  • Exploring spiritual confusion

  • Philosophical issues

  • Detachment and separation issues

  • Treating sleep disorders

  • Treating medical complications and physical harm resulting from the abuse

  • Reaching integration, blended states, or effective system team work

 

Watch this VIDEO made by Kathy.   This large tree becomes a perfect metaphor for describing the complications of the healing process for most dissociative trauma survivors.

 

That’s a tremendous amount of work. 

And most of these issues surface again and again and again, requiring in-depth attention on a regular basis for years of time.  Even so, genuine healing from severe trauma can happen.  It does happen.  I’ve seen it happen.  I know without a doubt that healing from unresolved trauma is absolutely possible.

However, emotional healing on such a wide scale just does not happen fast.  Forcing the issues or pretending to be “done” sooner than realistically possible is not helpful.

Simply put, years of severe injuries will require years of intense healing.

It takes as long as it takes.

 

Do you need specialized help?

Please remember, if you need any personal assistance with any these 50 Treatment Issues, there are two qualified trauma therapists here at Discussing Dissociation.  You, too, can get help if you need it.

Consider:

A Phone Consultation with Kathy

An Email Consultation with Laura 

Discussing Dissociation Community Forum

Discussing Dissociation EDUCATIONAL Forum

Support for Spouses, Partners, Allies Forum

Saddest Little Bear Dissoci-ACTION Story Pack

 

DID experts with years of work with trauma and dissociation can be extremely helpful for you.  Working with someone who actually knows and understands trauma and dissociation can save you oodles of time.  We already “get it”.

  • Individual consultations for you, for your therapist, for you with your therapist are available — by the hour, by the day, or by the week as an Intensive.
  • Email consultations, including ongoing, regular Email Subscriptions are available with Laura.
  • Our DID forums are like no other — they are monitored daily, protected, and managed very well. 
  • The Community Forum has excellent peer support, ongoing interaction, and lots and lots of topics and conversations.
  • The Educational Forum involves direct interaction with Kathy and Laura where many of your questions can be answered while you read deeply into the steps of DID therapy explained and taught. 
  • The SSPA  Forum is for the supportive loved ones of dissociative survivors.  There are many spouses, partners, and close friends who want a little extra support to help with the areas that are tough for them as well.
  • Our Saddest Little Bear Story Pack is an online video-instructional package that you can do on your own and/or with your therapist.
  • Our next P4 DID Conference — P4 Two! — will be happening in 2021.  Watch for info about P4 2020’s Video Package — on it’s way soon.

 

Please contact the Client Care Team if you have further questions. 

There is much we can do to help, and please contact us so we can direct you towards a helpful option.

 

I wish you the best in your healing journey, all 50 steps of the way….

 

Warmly,

Kathy

 

Copyright © 2008-2020 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

 

Related articles

  • When the Painful Past is the Painful Present 
  • Extinguishing Fear by Relaxing the Body
  • What Do You Think about Suicide ?
  • My 100 Strengths, as said by a Group of Dissociative Trauma Survivors
  • 10 Life-Lessons I’ve Learned from Multiples, part 1

 

dissociative identity disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder (Photo credit: genelin1211)

 

 

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Filed Under: DID Education, DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Featured Post #2, Kathy's Video Comments, mental health, sexual abuse, therapy, Therapy and Counseling, Trauma Tagged With: Addiction, Amnesia, Anxiety, Bipolar, Body Image, Body Memories, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Depression, DID / MPD, dissociate, Dissociation, dissociative disorders, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Crisis, Exploitation, Grief, Healing, Health, Hurting, Integration, Isolation, Kathy Broady, mental health, multiple personality disorder, pain, Physical Abuse, Pornography, Posttraumatic stress disorder, Prostitution, Ritual Abuse, sadistic, Safety, Self Esteem, Self Injury, sexual abuse, Sexually Abused, Social Anxiety, Social Skill, split personality, splitting, Suicidal Behavior, System Work, Therapeutic Process, Trauma Bond, Trauma Survivor, trauma therapist, traumatic history, treatment, treatment for DID, Violence

Comments

  1. Missy says

    November 11, 2017 at 10:23 am

    our list seems like it goes on forever
    we are going to be in therapy until we are 90 years old
    and paying our talker person til we’re 110.
    🙄

    Reply
  2. Fairy says

    October 1, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    Hi Kathy,
    I have recently been diagnosed with DID. After many hours of reading your blog I was wondering if you had any books you could recommend as either reference materials or workbooks or anything really??
    Kind Regards,
    Fairy

    Reply
  3. 6 derbyshire says

    August 30, 2017 at 8:15 pm

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    Reply
  4. video for kids says

    July 1, 2017 at 10:08 am

    Hello! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate!

    He always kept talking about this. I will forward this page to him.
    Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks
    for sharing!

    Reply
  5. caden says

    June 15, 2017 at 11:50 am

    It feels like we have more like 87,412 treatment issues. So frustrating.

    Reply
  6. baby spiderman says

    April 9, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    Your style is unique in comparison to other people I have read stuff from.
    Thank you for posting when you have the opportunity. I will just book mark
    this web site.

    Reply
  7. for kids says

    April 2, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    Hello! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to
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    my followers! Outstanding blog and amazing style and design.

    Reply
  8. nobody says

    March 18, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    it t feels like we are never ever going to get better. we could add 50 more things to this list. 🙁 its like it never ends.

    Reply
  9. smash or pass says

    March 18, 2017 at 3:23 am

    Terrific post however , I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more
    on this topic? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further.
    Kudos!

    Reply
  10. Yoga B says

    February 14, 2017 at 9:54 am

    An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment.
    I believe that you should write more on this subject, it might not be
    a taboo matter but typically folks don’t speak about these subjects.
    To the next! Kind regards!!

    Reply
  11. Yoga B says

    February 14, 2017 at 3:58 am

    Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful &
    it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.

    Reply
  12. Trending says

    February 13, 2017 at 1:16 am

    This design is steller! You obviously know how to keep a reader
    entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my
    own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really loved what you had
    to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

    Reply
  13. Melissa says

    January 5, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    Thank you for these articles. I have not experienced the depth of some of the issues listed but found them useful nonetheless. Briefly, my parents were workaholics and perfectionists. Neither were prepared for children and their own childhoods had a variety of issues. They are currently raising my niece due to the simultaneous death of her parents. With age they have become further convinced that their methods are correct. Having my own frustrations with what I feel they did I am desperately trying to learn proper methods to cope with them and hopefully help my niece when the time comes. I feel I’ve been blessed with an inquisitive nature and have relied heavily upon it when doubts or any negative emotions came along. My theory is “there’s got to be a better way”. Again, thank you and know you’re efforts are appreciated.

    Reply
  14. Lisa H says

    December 5, 2016 at 4:36 am

    Hi Kathy,
    This is the first time I have seen a list like this. It makes TOTAL sense, and helps me understand why I have been in therpy such a long time (10 years with this T, 8 years with the one before…both knowing what they are doing.) The comments here have been very helpful too. I know I cannot compare my healing with anyone else, just like I can’t compare the severity of my trauma history with anyone else. Oh, I did want to add that I had to be 10 years sober before anything else could start to be addressed. 31.5 years sober now. The addiction recovery part is SO important… I lost my sister 2 years ago (who had DID too) because she couldn’t stay sober and face our shared past (suicide). Thank G-d for devoted therpists like you!

    Reply
  15. Kathy Broady MSW says

    November 22, 2016 at 3:44 am

    This comment came in during the blog transition time, and got posted on the “set up site” by accident. It’s a great comment from Jim — had to share it. 🙂

    Comment:
    I have been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did,
    the web will be much more useful than ever before.

    Thank you, Jim ! I’m glad you were here, and I hope that you come back and keep reading, learning, and posting. I appreciate hearing from you.
    Warmly,
    Kathy

    Reply
  16. Kathy says

    November 15, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    Is this new comment visible on here yet? Just checking. 🙂

    Reply
  17. eagoodlife says

    May 24, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    Your views on DID in adoptees who may have been pre-verbal?

    Reply
  18. eagoodlife says

    May 24, 2016 at 8:47 pm

    Reblogged this on The Life Of Von and commented:

    “Dissociative Identity Disorder is a result of long-term, chronic, severe, sadistic child abuse. As children, these survivors witnessed and experienced a myriad of heinous crimes.” My belief is that DID is actually far more complex especially in adoptees who may have suffered in a pre-verbal time.

    Reply
  19. Lara/Trace says

    May 25, 2016 at 6:12 am

    Reblogged this on ☀️ army of one ☀️ and commented:

    Trauma causes this

    Reply
  20. K says

    May 12, 2016 at 5:49 am

    It is a slow process, it’s taken years for me to become conscious again but it’s well worth it. To feel that little bit more normal again is a fantastic feeling. To remember the previous day is an amazing feeling for me, yes it takes a few minutes to think about but the answers come to me now. The hardest personalities to integrate are those you have no awareness of. I only really woke up two or three years ago, I don’t know who it was living my life for over 24 years. I was a wild mess, in and out of hospital, causing absolute chaos and destruction. I’m abit sad that I cannot remember much of my sons younger years but I’ve come to accept it. Slowly, through integration work, I’ve become 90% conscious in my day to day living. It’s a strange feeling, I feel more whole and alive. Only lately did I realise there was a personality I was unaware of, causing me a great deal of distress, triggering dissociation. It turned out to be a younger version of myself with a great deal of anger and pain. Believing they were invisible only made me feel more guilty as I was totally unaware of their presence. Since they’ve integrated back into me, I’ve not felt the constant anger in my belly, the need to hit out, hurt myself, cry or hide away in my bed. There are a couple of personalities that I am aware of and they are seperate to me, but I am happy for them to be just as much as they are. They rarely make an appearance. I need them still, I know that if I get in trouble or danger, they will protect me and no-one can harm them, I haven’t got the same strength or lack of emotion in me.
    One thing I am worried about is work. I have never worked as “me”. The last time I worked was 8 years ago and I don’t remember much about it at all, they’re blurry images. How do people get back to work? I’m terrified. It’s not the terror of dissociating anymore, it’s that I’m now alone (apart from the protectors that I’m assured will not interfere). I still have anxiety that I’m trying my best to overcome. I’d love to hear someones experience of going back to work after recovery?

    Reply
  21. Susan says

    May 2, 2016 at 11:47 pm

    I can’t say I witnessed heinous acts, but whatever I DID experience was experienced completely alone. I learned never to show emotion to family or anyone. It was split off from my consciousness. Even something as simple as falling on the playground at school, had to be hidden or risk being embarrassed. Everything was dealt with inside my own head, no matter how big. There was no choice in it. It had to be this way. I think there came to be many inside to listen and handle the stress and emotions of each situation. Does that even make sense?

    Reply
  22. insideones says

    April 19, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    I don’t hear a lot of people talk about what it is like to finish the process of therapy for DID. The getting off of disability and thinking about going back to work. The separation from a therapist who has helped you for the last 18 years and heard every terrible story. My last therapy session is in one week and although I am very proud of myself for the work we did, I am scared. It’s been a grieving process for us. I guess I came back to a familiar and safe place I have used over the years. Insideones

    Reply
    • Kathy Broady says

      April 19, 2016 at 11:02 pm

      Wow, Insideones —
      What a wonderful inspiration you are!! It’s so very good to hear from you, and you are ALWAYS ALWAYS welcome here. Any time, any day, yep. You’re thought of very fondly. 🙂

      It certainly is a giant big step, to not have that regular every week therapy appointment, and at the same time, it’s scary-exciting-blossoming-growing-soaring-freeing like any graduation is. It’s big, big, big, yes. I am sure you can visit back to the occasional therapy appointment should you need to, but you know…. once you get a little more used to the idea, you will probably be just fine. I’m believing that you are way more stronger than you even realize you are!

      And you’re right, there is a grieving process, for sure. It’s a big change, and yes, you are probably very ready for it, but still, you’ll feel the loss at first. Sad, and it’s ok to cry, and it’s also ok to move on ahead.

      Be sure to do something wonderful and fun and exciting and rewarding for yourself to celebrate your healing!

      I’m very proud of you, and yes, do pop by and visit whenever you want. You are definitely not alone.

      Warmly, and with big smiles, and with big smiles. 🙂
      Kathy

      Reply
  23. j says

    March 20, 2016 at 10:06 pm

    ive been trying to find help but i cant.

    Reply
  24. robertmgoldstein says

    July 10, 2015 at 12:16 pm

    Reblogged this on Art by Rob Goldstein and commented:

    This is excellent information for anyone who is curious about the treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder.

    Reply
  25. Marianne Shalkowsky says

    July 4, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    Rome wasn’t built in a day and be patient with yourself.
    Find happy memories and surround yourself with people who love you.
    Love yourself cuz you deserve it.
    Everyone has bad days but it’s how you deal with it that matters.
    All the best and much love:)

    Reply
  26. Theo says

    June 23, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    Thanks for a really important blog! You are so incredibly generous: sharing your wisdom and insight with us! You have helped us understand the very long journey ahead and why there is so much chaos and conflict.
    We don’t agree that much so the days are long, the nights short and the holes are many…but you have helped some of see the work to be done…
    Thank you for being you, Kathy.

    Reply
  27. brokenpicketfences says

    April 28, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    Kathy, I’m reaching out again.
    I’m actively looking for a provider to begin treatment with who understands dissociative disorders and trauma. It’s proving to be difficult. I would think that there are others out there who have limited resources who have had to fight their way through this forsaken system in order to find proper treatment. Any advice?

    Reply
  28. brokenpicketfences says

    January 31, 2015 at 2:10 am

    I’m in the very early stages of discovering where I’m at on the dissociative spectrum, with the likelihood of DID becoming more and more obvious as I go.
    It’s also becoming very obvious how difficult it is to find non-bias professionals who are willing to evaluate and diagnose properly.
    Yesterday, it became apparent that the psychiatric nurse I’ve been seeing for years does not “believe” in DID and categorizes all dissociation as PTSD.
    She also has not been reviewing ANY of the therapy work that I have been doing, but prescribing meds randomly based on 15 min conversations every 8 weeks.
    What resources are there for patients who need to be accurately evaluated and properly diagnosed?

    Reply
  29. kyste says

    January 7, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    hello,
    to me such a long list is so helpful! it helps me understanding what s going on and while im preparing a confrontation and a trial with my perpetrator, to understand the consequences of all the abuse and being able to reach the part of me who knows the truth and doesnt think it s just a movie, and to be able not to listen to all the other voices minimizing and telling me that i ve always been some kind of liar etc, that feels really good! knowledge is good, such a list is such a wonderful knowledge that a very small minority of people know about on the planet. in my language i ve never found anything like that, and as clear and understandable!
    thank you for gathering that up
    yes it is rather massive but i feel this amount of massivity everyday so i d rather have it acknowledged and dealt with

    Reply
  30. turnstile13 says

    January 4, 2014 at 10:20 pm

    Hi Sara!
    I just wanted to welcome you and reiterate that you are indeed not alone. I hope you are able to find a therapist that is informed/skillful in working with dissociative disorders (or is willing to learn and be supervised as appropriate) and with whom you have great rapport. I had a wonderful therapist in my 20’s that, unfortunately, was not experienced with treating DID specifically… but we nonetheless did great work (read: REALLY PAINFUL/HARD WORK) together that set the foundation for my current therapy with another wonderful therapist, one who is working with me to specifically treat the DID. (And, yes, I did go on Disability for two years while I got “stabilized.”) Alas, there were also MANY misfires in between these two therapists (e.g. therapists who dropped me when they realized I have a dissociative disorder) and I was beginning to think there was no hope or effective treatment for what I was/am experiencing as someone with DID. It’s not easy and it takes time/hard work, but there is hope and I’ve experienced REAL relief/progress/growth… whatever you want to call it. In addition to therapy 1-2 week, visiting this blog as well as reading (and rereading and rereading) a book called The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook (Haddock) has been tremendously helpful to Me. Everyone’s unique though, of course, so I’m only sharing what’s been helpful for Me and my journey. Most important, I hope you find your healing path and find the support and resources you need along the way (which includes You/Your Selves, by the way!). My therapist once told me when I was feeling suicidal to “just keep showing up.” Out of context it might not sound terribly profound, but the point is that I kept waking up and doing the best I could. This sometimes meant that I remained non-verbal for most of a therapy session because the best I could do was literally just get the Body to the office. It sometimes meant that I didn’t get out of bed for a day or two… or inflicted all kinds of self-abuse along the way… but I “showed up” to being alive in the best way I could in the moment. And, life really did get better. Well, life is still life such that bad things happen… but I can deal with life MUCH better and I’ve learned to be aware of choices as well as seek/create and receive JOY in it. I hope you keep “showing up” too, Sara, so you can indeed stay alive to experience the good parts of being alive- and with increasing frequency! (They do exist!)

    Sending you supportive karma from across the wireless divide!

    turnstile13

    Reply
  31. Sara Roberts says

    January 3, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    Hello. This is my first time here….Looking over this list, I have to admit that I felt some relief. I’ve been to counseling on and off for the past decade and most of the time my psychologists weren’t aware of what DID was, much less how to treat it or explain how I felt (or didn’t feel) the things that I did.

    I’ve been having a lot of issues with my DID lately and particularly with homicidal/suicidal ideation. I’ve been encountering a lot of things from my past and to be honest, it really scares me. I’m also having a lot of pressure from loved ones who say that I should consider going on disability since I can’t hold down a job.

    Looking over this blog has helped me to feel as though I’m not so alone, as though the things that I’m feeling, while not healthy, are okay to feel.

    Thank you

    Reply
  32. brokenpast says

    December 2, 2013 at 11:24 am

    Wow! Thanks Kathy for being so open and upfront, it is a bit overwhelming, especially as I am still waiting on referral to a specialist, and so far have only seen a CBT Therapist.

    Its a lot to take in, but I would rather know, than enter blindly.

    Thank you.

    Reply
  33. Kathy Broady says

    December 1, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    Reblogged this on Discussing Dissociation and commented:

    “50 Treatment Issues for Dissociative Identity Disorder” – a comprehensive listing, but even so, it’s still not exhaustive of all the work done by dissociative trauma survivors. Healing takes a LOT of work. There’s no wonder it’s so time-consuming.

    This article is one of the very first posts written on Discussing Dissociation back in Dec 2008. There are many new readers of this blog since those early days, so it’s time to bring it back to the top. The concepts describing dissociative healing work still apply, and will continue to apply for years to come.

    I hope this article is helpful, and I wish the best to all of you in your healing journies.

    Warmly,
    Kathy

    Reply
  34. spanishbutterfly01 says

    May 20, 2013 at 7:38 am

    http://www.butterflylearningtofly.blogspot.com.au, an insiteful blog about a person living with DID but seeing it as a gift not a disorder per say.

    Reply
  35. Faith Burton says

    February 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    I spent three years in therapy with a kinesiologist and she informed me of my MPD condition. I need to know how do I go about finding a competent psychologist/psychiatrist or whatever to finish the process of integration. And, if others don’t want to integrate, can they be forced to. I function moderately well, but it makes finding work difficult. I am out of work due to two car accidents and some do not want to get well. They like the attention and feel they deserve the pain they are suffering. Others, like me, want to go back to work because boredom is not a way of life that is acceptable. Gaining weight is not acceptable. Being helpless is not acceptable. Living day in and day out with the man someone married, but not worthy (he’s just like dad in many ways) is driving us crazy. Work would give us escape time. Any suggestions?

    Reply
  36. muffledones says

    November 4, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    You have ‘processing emotions’, how bout adding learning bout them attall? Or if you know bout them, then overcoming phobia of them?

    Also, attachment issues to be dealt with.

    and Acceptance, learning to just have acceptance that there’s parts, whether or not you beleive it at any given point of time.

    Reply
  37. Lucifa says

    February 12, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Transference
    countertransference
    dependency
    violence in the room
    http://multiplexanimi.wordpress.com/

    Reply
  38. muffledones says

    May 2, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    So are these in rough order that you would approach them?
    Thx
    M

    Reply
    • Kathy Broady says

      May 3, 2009 at 3:44 pm

      Hi Muffledones,
      It would be impossible to actually put these treatment issues into a specific, sequential order, mostly because many of them have to happen over and over again. For example, developing internal communication occurs all the way through the healing process. Sometimes creating safety (internal and external) can require years of work, but addressing it in steps at a time is important. Memory work happens repeatedly, but I do encourage the emphasis to be on internal communication and system work prior to addressing huge emotional memories.

      Think of the goal of having all these treatment issues being addressed in your healing process on a recurring basis. If any of these areas are left out, have a closer look to see if you need to include it as well.

      It’s just complicated!!!
      Kathy

      Reply
  39. multipixie9 says

    January 19, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    Thanks Kathy, your remarks are very kind. I have seen things in your website that I’ve not encountered before. Talking to my insiders and interacting with them has been really tough, it is chaotic inside. However, your recommendation about the lists of 100 is something i am going to use. I’ve needed some constructive suggestions beyond “buy your littles some toys and coloring books”. I don’t mean to be rude, I just need a lot more than that to establish better relationships.

    My counselor is my top hero in this world. 14 years ago she recognized mpd/did as my true dx after many dx were given and after so many people blew me off when I did not heal according to their therapeutic or spiritual agenda. I know it is pretty much up to me as the host to start making some things happen for my insiders – but it’s been a long road and i am so tired. I hope someone inside may have some strength to share so that I can turn the tide for all of us toward finding our own ways to live and love even if few people will participate in this with me. A little beats none at all! I am tired and while I am NOT suicidal, I have no love for/zest for life. Thanks for listening.

    leslie speaking as host

    Reply
    • Paulette Williams says

      November 30, 2016 at 5:21 am

      There is hope I’m finally at a place where ones and sides don’t hate me and they all respect me now as the corewe’ve had to teach yourself so much because we just do not have access to therapy, but it is so lonely in this illness and I love reading all of these comments I finally feel like someone gets it

      Reply
  40. multipixie9 says

    January 19, 2009 at 8:06 am

    if we can’t just be healed like a miracle, then i wish we could be accepted and cared for. in this world it seems like what we want is asking too much.

    i don’t think it is possible to be pain free or totally healed but surely it could be better than it is now. i’m 55 and i have few memories free from pain or the past.

    sometimes i just wish someone would stand up in front of everyone i know and say, “It really is not her fault and she’s trying so hard to do what most of you take for granted. just be kind and don’t judge her and she will keep working to improve.”

    leah for the pixies

    Reply
  41. multipixie9 says

    January 19, 2009 at 7:51 am

    i sympathize with “healingone” in the dismay over that long list of things that must be healed/helped or changed in us to live in health. it is the first time i’ve been somewhere that what it takes to heal was not minimized. it is a place where i know we are not judged for being many. you are the first one who put it accurately that there was so much sustained evil, pain and horror. you are the first one who said it upfront that there were many who abused us for a long time and i don’t remember even one hug or piece of comfort except for candy and books – nothing human. my husband blames me and thinks i choose to stay in dysfunction and pain rather than be healed and i have gone to counseling and done so many things for change and growth and freedom. i’ve been looking for help since i was 18 and suicidal and God helped me survive, but i just want to be ok. i only want to be ok. i’m not asking for the moon, just a piece of green cheese.

    leslie for the pixies

    Reply
    • Kathy Broady says

      January 19, 2009 at 2:29 pm

      Hi Leslie,
      Thanks for your comment. As painful as it can be, I think saying the truth is the best way. DID therapy is very hard work – and it’s not quick. And anyone that tries to say otherwise is either not very informed, or they are skimming over the deeper layers of work.

      It sounds like you have had plenty of difficult times in your life… I can hear that it’s been painfully rough for you.

      Hopefully some of the ideas presented in this blog will give you some guidance along the way for your healing journey… maybe by reading here, you’ll find some areas of work that will help you further down your path. I certainly hope so.

      And I believe there is lots and lots of green cheese out there — and yes, there’s plenty enough for you to have some too.

      The first key is to get to know your system, and to do things to comfort, support, and help each other. Maybe some outside people will join in as helpers for you too, but at this stage in your life, don’t wait for them. As you all help yourselves, you will begin to feel better. I’m sure of it.

      Thanks for posting — your comments are a positive contribution here.
      Kathy

      Reply
  42. healingone says

    January 10, 2009 at 12:18 am

    ‘whelmed Kathy . ..just whelmed . . . . . when I think I okay most of the time and then I no am some of the time and I see lists like this, it makes me feel like I no am as healed as I know I am . .. if I am feeeeeeling . . finally….. after no knowing for a whole lifetime that I was so so numb or so racey or ragey so easy and now I am feeeling so so many feelings, then why do i gotta worry ’bout a long long list of things like this? If so many layers and layers of coverings over me no are there no more and I am me and I like me mostly always less i dare say something like I like me which then means the noise wants to start up from otherwheres, then why why why do healing have to be talked ’bout with lists that make it seem so hard? Maybe I was too tired and too me to read that stuff, but Kathy . . . I no like long lists. I just no do. When the stupid nuns hadded us make lists and lists and lists of words of words and of the same sentence so many many times, so all you did was no do the sentence at all, all the way through, you did some words over and over ‘gain afore going on to the next set of words in the sentence . . anyways . . I like things simple. And I no mean easy . . I mean simple to understand . . .And I know I am healing and i know it coz of I been feeling and feeling and feeling and hurting and crying and learning all ’bout how hurt I really am and that means I been learning how special and good I really am and how much I ‘served to be loved and cared ’bout . . . then why why why do things have to be long lists that seem so hard when . . . when that just makes it all seem so hard. And there no way what I been doing for almost four years of crying and grieving and coming to love me even though it hurted lots and lots and lots and is no the least bit easy, is near as hard seeming as what that list feels like w hen I look at it. Crying and grieving and righteous angering is simple easy to understand. All that stuff is big words hard. Anyways . . I have been jumping round some and then I acided to start from the ‘ginning . . . I like your blog lots Kathy. I do do do, but long long lists of hard word stuff is oooghy to me. but I do like all the stuff ’bout getting to know me. I mean talking inside and stuff. So we working on that some and I have always talked lots and lots to whoever is the hosty one and so now we working on her talking to me back and helping me some. So . . . this blog seems lots grownuppy to me , but there just no way I no am gonna be here reading coz I just am ’round all the time now and I the biggest writer of all of everybody in here so . ..do you think maybe you could do some blogs for littles . . coz ,maybe lots of us need to hear things our way? Something like that Kathy, please??? little me . . . . .you know

    Reply
  43. davidrochester says

    December 10, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    Yes, that’s a comprehensive and accurate list. My therapist was surprisingly honest about the length, difficulty, and destabilizing dangers of therapy when I first consulted with her … probably because, unlike most of her clients, I presented with the problem I actually had, having been aware since age 10 that I had at least two separate functional identities (though I was unaware of the other 6 — so far — who have started to speak up since I learned better listening skills from my therapist). I’m expecting 5-7 years in therapy, though I’ve seen more improvement in 16 months than I would have thought possible.

    But yeah. It’s a heck of a lot to deal with.

    Reply
    • Kathy Broady says

      December 10, 2008 at 4:26 pm

      Hi David,

      Yes, it is a lot to deal with, but it sounds like you have got a real good foundation started already and a good therapist on your side — that’s great news. I’m not surprised at all that you have found more insiders once you learned more about listening to them. You’re still in your early years of healing, so … as you dig further into your “stuff”, you’ll probably find a few more – welcome them kindly when you find them. They are each heroes in their own way.

      Thanks again for stopping by, and keep up the good work!!!

      Kathy

      Reply
    • Paulette Williams says

      November 30, 2016 at 5:16 am

      David I enjoyed your comment I have so so many insiders, children teenagers adults and elders ,i’m so glad you get to go to therapy that would be amazing

      Reply
  44. behindthecouch says

    December 10, 2008 at 10:32 am

    An amazing if slightly overwhelming post – thank you.

    Reply
    • Kathy Broady says

      December 10, 2008 at 2:25 pm

      Thank you, behindthecouch, for coming to this blog and reading thru’ the articles. I have been a trauma therapist, specializing in Dissociative Disorders for 20+ years, so this list of 50 Treatment Issues comes directly from my years of experience of sitting beside trauma survivors on “my couch”. I’ve listened to them, heard their pain, and remembered what was important — so these ideas haven’t come from me, they come from survivors themselves. I thoroughly believe that healing is possible, that good trumps evil, that there is hope, and that we as a society have to take a stand against the abusers of the world. I really hope that this blog can be helpful for many.

      Thank you again for your very kind words. I appreciate that!

      Kathy

      Reply
      • Paulette Williams says

        November 30, 2016 at 5:14 am

        This list is right on oh my gosh is just so good to be validated my system is so complexed yet beautiful, I feel alone in it since I don’t have therapy and someone that really really gets it .

        Reply
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