little system members — Image by Couleur from Pixabay

Decorating your own DID System Tree

This year, while so many folks are out there decorating for the holidays, I have a Dissociative System Work idea to share with you.

How about making your very own holiday tree that represents you and your insiders? I’ve called it a DID System Tree, but you can follow this idea even without a tree. The goal is to encourage your insiders to each make a holiday decoration that represents themselves, whether they put it on a tree or not.

This idea bounces off a creative arts project we had at that 2025 P4 Retreat — making a Hope Box. In this project, everyone in the system was encouraged to represent themselves somehow in the decorating of their little cigar box. How were they going to make that box their own? Were they going to use paint? Or collage with Mod Podge? And how was everyone inside going to be represented in that small space? What if they didn’t agree or like what the other insider added? If the goal was to also create something that represented hope, how were they going to accomplish that as a system?

That creative arts idea turned out to be a powerful system exercise. And of course, since it worked wonderfully at the retreat, it might just work again as a holiday decoration idea.

The process is simple…. (but the meaning can be quite complex).

First: Invite everyone.

Explain the project to your system and invite everyone to participate. This piece is crucial — this whole process is intended to be a system exercise, and all the way through this project, keep talking with each other, do your internal talking, and check in with each other. Go back to this goal over and over. Remember to listen inside, share the time, share the supplies, share the ideas, etc. Work together!

Next: Find your space.

Select the area that you would like to decorate — your holiday tree, or a window decorations, or your door decor. Any area that works for you and your system, is good to choose. My point being, it doesn’t have to be a holiday tree, but that is the easiest option to use for this example.

The size of the space you have to decorate will impact the size of the individual icons you can make or add. Make sure that everyone see the size of the space to be decorated. How are they going to share a limited space, and still be fair to each other?

Selecting or creating different decorations to represent the various insiders.

And then: Let the fun begin!

Each insider and each internal group who wants to participate begins to make, create, design or find a decoration, an ornament, or an item that represents them. This is where your internal system communication and cooperation will be important. You might need to purchase art supplies, or maybe, you’ll need to use the goodies that you already have. If you have the funds, maybe you’ll let your system folks do a little shopping for the decorations they want.

I do encourage you, however, to let these decorations be as personable as possible. The more your people can make or decorate themselves, the more personable your tree will feel for you.

AND, at this point, somewhere in this area, this is when you’re going to start feeling the friction and the complications.

Maybe someone wants to use a color that other folks don’t like.
Maybe the little boys want a silly little boy thing, and the sophisticated adults are uncomfortable with that being on the tree.
What if the teenage girls select something embarrassing or all too extra?
What if the darker parts select something scary?
What if someone selects an object that feels way too big or something far too tiny?
What if a few folks use the best resources, and there are arguments about who gets to have what?
What conflicts and disagreements are going to happen between your insiders?
Are you going to make decorations that attach to the tree? Or items that can sit on the branches?
Do you want your decorations to fit a theme — ie: does everyone get the same size of card to draw their own picture? Or the same size of ball to paint their own designs?
Or does each insider get to do their own thing, no matter whether it matches “a theme” or not? Is that okay?

Coordinating card designs, but each with a different picture

Enjoy the process.

This project might take awhile.

If you have 5, or 10, or even more of your insiders wanting to participate, each one of them will need time to think about, design their idea, and create their personal icon-decoration for the tree. How are you going to share the time? Who gets to make their’s first? Who has to wait, and how to they feel about that? Are there any arguments along the way? Are your people sharing nicely with each other? Who’s hiding the glue and the ribbons from the others?

And uh oh… what if one insider accidentally does something to mess up someone else’s decoration or planned supplies? How will you handle that? Will there be a big upset, or a successful way of working out that conflict?

Are you and your insiders having fun working on this together? What can you add to your creative environment to increase the fun factor? How about music in the background — oh, but which music? Does the person who is out front creating get to select their favorite song or show? Or do those who are waiting for a turn get to be in charge of the music or the TV show in the background?

The point being — do what you can to make this a good experience. Find ways to enjoy being together. Have fun working on your holiday decorations.

AND… see all the system communication that can be happening along the way? The more you learn to work together effectively, the better.

Talk it out Together.

Yep, this is intended to be a fun project, of course, but… any time you have a whole group of people working on a specific goal, there’s a risk of running into little complications along the way. I mean…. maybe your system is the first system ever to never have internal conflict, but chances are, a few disagreements could surface as you work through it, even while doing something as fun as making holiday decorations.

It really is okay to let each insider decorate their own piece however they want to express themselves. Of course, you might have some overall system guidelines to follow, but can it truly be okay if your individual art icons are different from each other?

Can your insiders share and problem solve and create and exchange ideas without turning the process into a fight?

Can your serious insiders learn to play?

Can your jokesters be respectful towards those who are fearful?

Will your day parts accept the decorations created by the night parts?

Can newer-to-you head-mates be invited to participate as well?

Can insiders who have other conflicts with each other find ways to be cooperative and agreeable during this exercise? What if they tried sitting a little closer together than usual?

Is anyone getting triggered by anything at all?

The more you notice about how your people are working together, or struggling together, the more depth you’ve added to this experience. Find ways to work it out, and grow together, increasing your ability to connect positively with your team.

System communication and system cooperation is essential.

What do you learn from this experience?

And, when you look at the decorations the others made, what have you learned about them?

What do the others learn about you?

Are your people telling a story about themselves as they make their decorations?

Do you understand why they created what they created?

Have you figured out new ways to get along a little better?

This kind of fun system creative process can absolutely be a growing experience. Talk with each other about the decorations, and especially any other design that feels uncomfortable or creates tension between your crew. If anyone is feeling any rough edges, or upset, or deeper feelings, be sure to talk with them about that, and learn more about their issue.

Recognizing a fun art project can be
a system communication and system connection experience
will add enormous depth to the process.

I hope you give this a try! And if you do, feel free to comment and share how it felt to do this creative process with your people.

I hope you end up treasuring the decorations that you create together.

And of course, I wish you the best in your creative healing journey. Have fun!

Warmly,

Kathy