It’s another rough weekend….
Another Mother’s Day has come around.
Today, I saw some writing that speaks so much truth and honesty. I found these words painfully beautiful. I didn’t write them, but I know you can relate to them, so I have to post them.
I genuinely hope they bring comfort to your pain….
I’m gonna say it. It’s Mother’s Day Weekend & my Facebook is filled with honors to Mom’s that have passed away.
Or Never were there anyway.
And some Honors to Good Mom’s too. Being a good mom is truly the ‘hardest job in town’ & also the most rewarding position to be in.
But it’s also a sad day for many if we get honest.
For Some, an awkward day.
A Lot of Loss surrounds the issue of Mother’s. A very Hot Topic from Therapy Couches.
Mother’s Day Cards aren’t made for the Broken Hearted but I have always thought they should be. The same for Father’s Day.
If your Heart is empty or broken this weekend, please know that someone understands, hears you & acknowledges you. With age comes Wisdom & Honesty. We hope anyway. I don’t want to “pretend” anymore.
These Holidays break my Heart & leave me empty every year. It’s an uncomfortable weekend.
So this year, I want to Honor the Broken Hearted. I hear you & I remember.
To our sisters & friends with no babies in their arms, I’m thinking of you.
For those with empty arms that once held their child, My Heart Breaks for you.
For those who longed for a good mom & the pain never goes away, I understand.
To Dear One’s in our lives that are quietly Hurting this weekend, I pray healing & comfort for you. You are not alone & I’m sorry your dreams haven’t come true.
To the abused, I know you are there. I pray Comfort.
The list is endless. If these holidays are triggers to pain, I’m so sorry.
May we all find comfort in the ‘Mother Heart’ of God. Our only true Source of Healing for this depth of pain.
Kindness. Compassion. Awareness.
I don’t need to say anything further.
What do you feel from this letter?
I hope the author of this heartfelt message was able to bring comfort, solace, understanding, and warmth into your day…..
Thinking of you.
Copyright © 2008-2019 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
I hate holidays but mother’s day is, other than Christmas, is the worst, the fucking worst. Fortunately, in recent years our parents have been out of province on this holiday so we haven’t had to do anything we don’t want to, thank goodness.
we maintain minimal contact with the woman who calls herself our mother, in fact we recently blocked her phone. She has no social media presence so at least we don’t have to worry about her in that area. We’ve blocked our brother in Facebook too.
covid-19 has made very easy to have no contact! we ca become enraged just thinking of her and having to hug her makes our skin crawl. Brrrr.
we composed a very lengthy scathing letter to her recently but had the good sense to not send it even though Simone really really wanted to. It would have resulted in some pretty dramatic blowback, which we are not in a place to deal with.
what really burns us
Is that there is still a part of us that wants and longs for her love and approval. If we could we would cut out that part with a rusty spoon. Wd hate it so much. Why can’t we just not fucking care? She has done so many unforgivable things to us even in our adulthood.
some random nobody says
i dont need no mother or father. outside people are *ssh*les. why wold i want one bossing me around and telling me what to do like go to bed or dont eat something .i dont know any outside people who arent jerks. and probably thier mom or dad made them that way. i wouldnt trust no one who is a mom or dad either. so a day to celebrate moms or dads? thanks but NO.
no one says
I dont ever going to get big,but if i did i would have a little girl. i would rock her even when she got to big for my lap. i. would take her places with me. i wouldnt leve her behind. i would make shure she is safe. i would make shure she. no how much i love her.i would say i love you every day. i would put notes in her lunch box to read, i would make shure she gets chrismas presents. i would read her storys, i would hug her, i would cuddol her, her would be my only kid. i would tell her she be speshal. i would make shure she eats. i woulndt leve her with scary pepol. i would tuck her in bed, when her got bigi would call her just to say hi. i would take care of her when she was sick.
i hate seeing all that shit on facebook. happy mothers day to the best mother in the world, oh mom i love you more than anything, thanks for being the worlds greatest mom!!
makes me want to fucking puke. if youve got a great mom, i dont give a shit and dont want to hear about it.
i always feel a pang of confusion when i read on facebook or hear someone say something along the lines of thanks for mothers for being all these things. And i just don’t relate at all. I feel just a sea of confusion. How can that be, that is not what mother was at all.
it just feels like this sea of bubbly praise for mothers, that have cared and nurtured there children. and i just often ignore it all. it sounds like from a foreign world people speak of that i have never been to nor ever will. So i just accept it and move on.
This was year 2. Two years since my middle daughter (LCSW) cut us out of her life. We hear nothing from her. The oldest daughter moved and has no phone so, we don’t hear from her unless her husband allows it. That doesn’t happen either.
Som we are left. No phone calls. No email. Nothing.
We might have well just have buried them both. The loss of a relationship is painful… knowing well what we have done to ruin it.
No words from friends.. we don’t have any. No one likes us anymore. Nothing from even therapists. We really did it, didn’t we?
So this is how our life will end.. empty… with nothin and no one in it.
Sad Soul says
My mother is long dead…She got the big “C’ at the end, maybe there is Karma after all.
She had a heart of stone …She only loved money!
My real father was taken away from me too…Early divorce, reason money!
No child love, only money! …Feel so unloved!
A narcissistic unemotional mean bully…Threw her nasty cold-hearted critics at me!
Stop crying! – Stop laughing! Stop helping other people….close your heart! You’re lazy!
Stop being so in your shell! (there are countless more)
She hated the arts, music and anything emotional/feminine!
She used male deodorants often…wore men’s t-shirts too….She acted so masculine!
Strict too…Much like a fusion of an army sergeant and a wicked mean sorcerer! (Saruman comes to mind)…Yes she tried to do black magic on people as a revenge….That sound very cold hearted to me!
She hated my interests and hobbies (all creative) and tried to ‘destroy them’ …Threw away my camera, my photos, my artworks….all my child photos away…Psychologists said, she threw away my heart, I somehow agree with this…I hated her…Just a abusive controlling bully, belittled me too. All this abuse mounted, with childhood bullying at school on top of it as well…I felt utterly abandoned!
She couldn’t care about emotions…Just money!
Psychologists I talked to noticed I’m highly sensitive (HSP) and very artistic!
Felt constant sad & depressed, cried a lot in secret …In a toilet at times….shame feelings.
Many years later…The deep sadness is lingering and intense!
Regardless on how much I weep/wept, and expressed the sadness in a creative way, talked to psychologists etc…It just keeps coming!
I never could stand hot climates, but she dragged me from one hot climate to the next…Heat seems traumatic to me as well (have multiple traumas)…, I love cold weather and snow!
I sadly ask myself…Why are mothers so cold-hearted, strict, dysfunctional, mean, narcissistic, paranoid, controlling…why?
My broken and abused heart really needs love and empathy to heal…a sensitive partnership.
But where I’m going to find it?
This (to me) dysfunctional mobile-phones-addicted society leaves me ice cold!!!
Hard day. very.
Hello Dear Friends,
Indeed Mother’s Day is full of all kinds of emotions many of which are sad, painful, fearful, melancholy … well a whole hug mixed bag of broken dreams, broken promises, broken lives, broken bodies, minds and souls, broken, broken, broken.
So, I just spent Mother’s Day weekend at my mother’s home of lost self – ME the childless one too terrified to have children of her own. ME who did not experience the joys, security and warmth of unconditional mother’s love. It was stressful and triggering and … not where I wanted to be yet strangely where I was longingly drawn to. Maybe this time …
I am learning to mother myself and to surround myself with women who possess the qualities that I wish that I had learned from my mother. I cannot change what was but I can change what is now and will be. So, I have chosen to frame my healing process as my rebirth and with that new beginning is a chance to feel love from the women in my life who are the feminine mentors of my inner children. I find rebirth in interacting with my little granddaughter (by adoptive choice not biological link) and the healing of (grand)mothering her sweet self. I find rebirth in meditating and interacting with my inner little ones and offering them the kind of tender comfort and loving that I lacked then. And, I am learning through somatic coaching to mother my body, soul and mind with simple sensory soothing.
So, I walk into the void of Mother’s Day but I am less bound to the painful past that I cannot change because I am setting my sights on all that I can do to make sure that my rebirth is as caring, comforting and nurturing as it should have been the first time around. I am in charge now and I am determined that this time around my growth and upbringing is going to be a whole lot different!
Live United/ Lori says
You have written……. I’m Learning to mother myself and meditating and interacting with my inner little ones.
What a excellent way to look at this. It fills my heart ❤️ with warmth and respect even more for you.
How sweet of you to say Live United/Lori. You filled my heart ❤️ with warmth as well. I am trying to take an active part in changing the narrative of my life. I am still working on all of the history that hurt me but I am trying to change my now so that the narrative in my future is filled with nurturing, healing and … dare I say it … happiness. This is not to ignore or disrespect the pain – I honour what my insiders and I have lived through and need to understand and feel in the full measure of emotions that were never allowed to be expressed. But, I am also learning that I can take an active role in that healing especially when it comes to the needs of my insiders. So, when it comes to dates on a calendar like Mother’s Day, I allow myself to feel the pain but I also set the agenda of trying not to get stuck there but turning it into understanding and change.
i h8 ol wmn
s pesle muvrs !!!!!!!!
muvrs cn go 2 hl 👹
an fovrs 2👪
i no ned tm 🙊
It’s nice to be acknowledged instead of pretending everything’s ok. But it’s also very very painful. I have very strong undercurrents of sadness that just keep swelling up. Some situations just are what they are and what can you do, you know? I’m letting myself feel the sads today. Not everybody may be happy about that. Thank you for sharing this letter.
i dont need a mom anyway.
we can take care of our selfs.
we ALWAYS taked care of our selfs. we no how to make spagetios on the stove in a pan. and how to poor sereal and milk. and we no how to get ready for bed and put arselfs to bed. and we no how to clim up hi to get things off hi shelfs.
so we dont need a mom for anything.
so who cares about this dum holaday anyway.
Live United/ Missy says
I can hear how tough you are. How strong you are. I also hear how sad and maybe even mad that you don’t have a mother.
Maybe you all can make believe you have one. Or maybe you can pretend you are a mother to others that you share space with. Or even to that Beautiful white dog that’s use has a picture here.
Deborah Jones says
I feel a lot of pain when I read this letter. I need to disappear forever.
Today is mother’s day. As a kid or any other age that live in a body shell. How do you see that you came to be?
I ask other that share the body if we were born, hatched, miracle, are we a parasite that habitat the body.
For me it depends on the psyche balance. For other that habitats they longing for a real mother. Someone to love them like we have love the children that the body gave birth to.
I like to remind them that if we had such a mother, That most likely we wouldn’t exist . That we would just be brain matter.
So at the end of the day does it mater if we have one or not? If we had one. We would not have each other, we wouldn’t exist! It’s kind of a double edge sword. A real mother or life?
Yes we do understand the the shell was born. It even has a male twin. So to day, I have to give thanks to that women for being a alcoholic , dysfunctional, abusive and none caring . For what ever reason this was . With out all of this we that live within this shell would not be who we are today .
So thank you SCE for being a idiot for not loving and caring for your little girl! That only Missy knows and hides from the world.
even though we hate holidays and birthdays (have no memories of them) we tried to teach our children that “thanks”, “love” or “birthdays” should be celebrated 365 days a year by kindness, caring, respect and acceptance
we have hated mothers day for years and probably ruined it for our kids because of it. through trying to saying it to us or even acknowledge the day. dont get us wrong we still parented them and have been there for them but we never wanted to be like our parents and never wanted to be called a “mom” as “mom or any other word similar” but we did the job along with all the hats a mom is suppose to wear – and we have a good relationship with my kids today but we prefer to celebrate the day by ignoring it.
Mother’s Day is not only about my biological “mother” but it also has another meaning for me.
I’ve never known my child.
They took her away before I’ve ever seen her.
I don’t know what happened to her.
But every year, on this day, I think of her…..
and it hurts 💔 so much.
so sorry this is your truth
Strong , powerful, spot on , finally someone that is not afraid to show how mothers and Father’s Day are not warm and fuzzy for a lot of people.
My head mates wish to belong to a mother or father. They struggle with Not knowing if they were born or just magically appeared .
Yes I do have joy with our outside daughters. I wish I had what I have given to them. A hug when sadness was felt. laughter when something funny was happening. Someone to listen even if nobody else wanted. A person that new when Supervision was needed A warm smile to let me know I was loved
we hate mothers day.
we hate thinking about people who have good mothers.if such a thing exists.
we hate thinking about people who are good mothers.
and we hate thinking about people who are allowed to be mothers, when we are not.
theres more jealousy than we can even dare talk about with anyone. and it would lead to too many emotions and too much heartbreak.
we ‘re not allowed to have any of the things we want most and none of us understand why and its so confusing.
stupid f#^king holiday. 💔