10 New Additions to Discussing Dissociation Designed to Help Your DID System
How closely have you been watching Discussing Dissociation?
Which one of these 10 new additions will be most helpful for you and your system?
There have been a lot of changes and additions made to the Discussing Dissociation blog in recent months. You may have noticed many of them, but in case you haven’t, I’ve made a list so you can be aware of the updates and improvements. I think these are important and cool additions to the site, and I’m excited to share these resources with you and your dissociative system.
Hopefully, each and every one of these changes will improve your experience, and give you even more options / resources for DID healing. The whole point for expanding the resources and options available at this blog is to meet as many different needs as possible.
Did you notice the following additions to Discussing Dissociation?
1. Podcasts!
New resources: three podcasts about DID and dissociation are already available. In case you’d like to hear me explain info about DID, these podcasts can be a nice new resource for those of you who might appreciate listening instead of reading.
Becky’s “That B Word” podcast is much more about DID. This is a fun, upbeat interview full of all kinds of DID info. I had a good time teaching about Dissociative Identity Disorder, and I hope you have the opportunity to listen.
The TAASTTA podcasts are more general, and address dissociation and dissociative coping strategies for trauma survivors.
I hope you like these interviews as more podcasts are coming.
By the way, if you listen to or host a mental health podcast and would like to have Kathy has a guest speaker on that podcast, please contact the Client Care Team for more information.
A new Podcast category has been added to simplify finding a listing of all podcasts in one place. You can find the Podcast category underneath the green TV and Video tab near the header. Mouse over “TV and Video” and the dropdown menu will show Podcasts. Click on Podcasts to be shown a list of articles that connect to any of the various podcasts.
2. Introducing the “Support this Site” Option.
After several different readers of the Discussing Dissociation blog approached me about this idea, I decided to add this feature. At first I was opposed to the idea, and then….
Then a DID survivor explained to me that she wanted a way to be able to GIVE to this site as a way to show her gratitude and appreciation from her own system, but also, it was important to her to be able to contribute to the ongoing growth and development of this site, and to “pay it forward” for the healing opportunities for other DID survivors. (I think she also wanted to make sure that I stayed around and didn’t get too tired to continue adding to this site!) But in all seriousness, she found the resources here at DD to be tremendously helpful for her own healing, and she wanted to do more than say thank you. She wanted to give back, and make sure other dissociative survivors had resources as well.
Wow. That kinda blew me away!
So yes… after some careful consideration, the addition of a Support This Site option has been added.
Some DD community members have already contributed a one-time only amount, and other community members have signed up for a recurring monthly amount. (Thank you!!) There are a variety of options available.
I have been very surprised to see the positive response from the DD Community. I can’t tell you how much this means to me on a personal level, and how it encourages me to continue this work. I started this site, 9.5 years ago, because it felt important to make helpful DID information available for anyone in the world. For y’all to step in and choose to support that concept feels absolutely amazing. Thank you. Seriously, thank you.
I can’t do it alone, so by all means, if we all join in and help fund the resources needed by DID survivors, we can make this site an INCREDIBLE source of support.
THANK YOU for your ongoing SUPPORT!
You can find the Support This Site option in the right hand column of the Home Page.
3. Our Forum is coming, our Forum is coming!
Very soon, you will see introductory forum information for the Discussing Dissociation Community Forum. Laura, Kerry the computer gal, the Client Care Team, and myself are already working on it!
I have already created a new video and written a Survey of 10 questions to ask your thoughts, concerns, expectations, etc. These will be available this month.
I hope anyone and everyone who has the slightest interest or curiosity about this new forum will participate in the Survey and sign up for Early Bird Notifications about the progress we’re making.
I’ve been dropping lots of hints about our new DD Forum, and yes, you will receive more official information about the Discussing Dissociation Community Forum soon.
Stay tuned and please watch this space!
FORUM UPDATE!
DDCF is OPEN! Our DID Forum is active, wonderful, and ready to welcome you.
CLICK HERE for more information about how to join.
Or click on the title of this article to read more:
Yes, We are Proud of the DDCF Community Forum Members!
4. Introducing Alex — our newest addition on the Client Care Team.
Claire is still here — so please don’t panic — we haven’t lost her!
And yes, Alex is here! Alex is here!
We are bringing in Alex to expand the Client Care Team and to help Claire with various admin tasks and provide even more top quality care for you. Alex will also be at the front lines of the incoming emails and he will help guide you in the right direction if you need assistance at this site. Please don’t be alarmed if you receive an email signed by someone named Alex — he’s on our team now.
Claire has come to know many of the readers here, and she understands the importance of writing with softness, compassion, and empathy. She specifically selected Alex as a person who also writes with these skills, so you know… I’m happy to have both Claire and Alex on board.
Alex is a gentle soul, and he’s going to be a great asset to our team. Besides, when our Forum opens, we are definitely going to need Alex’s help to keep up with all the extra emails, questions, and any confusion with the sign-up process. I’m hoping we have lots of forum members, and I hope we keep Alex VERY busy!
If you want to write to Alex and say hi to him, please feel free to contact him via email or the Contact Me page. I’m sure he’d be happy to write you back!
5. We added the Testimonials Page.
Do you have trust issues and wonder if I am who I say I am?
Would you trust the opinion of other dissociative survivors and their view of me and this blog?
Do you want to see what other DID survivors are saying about this blog?
Social proof is really important nowadays, especially since the internet is full of all kinds of information, both helpful and not so helpful. It’s important to do your research, and to make sure any mental health person is valid, reliable, genuine, etc.
I am happy, and honored, to show you what DID survivors around here are saying about Discussing Dissociation.
You can find the Testimonials Page up at the very top left corner of the Home page. Scroll over the “About” tab, and the third dropdown option is “Testimonials”. Click on that to see what folks have felt when they interact here at Discussing Dissociation.
And if you’d like to add your OWN Testimonial, please contact Claire or Alex, and send it on in! We would all be very pleased, and honored, to post your thoughts and opinions too.
6. We’ve added better functionality.
The most popular articles will now load more quickly for you, thanks to some helpful work done by Kerry, the computer girl. The number of comments allowed “per page” has been limited so that each individual page can load easier. The article stays the same at the top, but the comments themselves get “paged”. Cool concept, hey?!
Not to worry — each and every blog article can still have an unlimited number of comments so please keep posting! Comments in older areas are welcome as much as the newer areas, as each article, and each comment can stimulate new discussions.
If you scroll down all the way to the very bottom of the comments (on an article where the limits have been reached), you’ll see that we have added links for Older Comments / Newer Comments. Click on those links, and you’ll be able to read the rest of the comments made on that particular article.
This is a really cool feature — wish I had known about it sooner!
And…. considering we have ALMOST reached 10,000 comments on this blog (Spam free!!), it is crucial to be able to see them all. YOUR VOICE MATTERS!! WELL DONE, EVERYONE for all the active, valuable participation!
7. ALL those wonderful comments on ONCS are visible again!
The conversational discussion thread for DID Survivors, Our Normal Complicated Selves — a place to write about anything (ONCS), has well over 1000 comments on that page alone, and frankly, had gotten too large to load. Many people could no longer participate as the page just wasn’t opening for them.
As mentioned above, we have fixed that issue by adding Older Comments / Newer Comment links at the bottom of the page.
Anyone and everyone should be able to see it and join in the discussions now. Thank goodness!
There is some super good info and some powerful conversations written in those 1000+ comments, so I am relieved they have been added back-in-view.
I very much appreciate the conversations occurring between the Community Members here at this blog, and if you haven’t participated in these discussions, you are most certainly welcome to do so.
Please remember, you do not have to use your legal name or any kind of identifying name to post your comments anywhere on this blog. I encourage you to select a nickname, a system name, maybe your first name, or even a non-name. Your privacy is important, and it’s very okay to keep your official name to yourself.
8. We’ve added a second DID survivor discussion thread.
When ONCS was struggling to load right, we added a second area for DID survivor conversations as way to keep writing while the computer girl had time to fix the problem. The community support experienced here at Discussing Dissociation is just far too important to not have an active, workable option.
Check out: 2. Still Our Normal Complicated Selves — Keep on Writing!
Feel free to comment here, or on the original ONCS page. Your thoughts, comments, questions, and participation are welcome!
Let’s keep the conversations going!
9. We’ve added automatic Emails announcing new blog articles.
Not to worry — I will continue to write new and personal emails for you — but I am often quite slow to announce a new article that has just been written. I realize you are busy, and may not have time to check here on the blog for new posts on a regular basis either.
SO… to make sure you are informed of new blog articles shortly after they are posted, these new automatic emails will send you a quick and easy link to the new information. I hope you find these to be helpful.
Plus, when I post new articles in NOT the main area, (such as this one), these automatic emails will help you to be aware of ALL the new posts that go in. Gotta keep the communication open!
10. We’re adding more Bear Stories!
This is a little sneaky peek, and I’m getting a tiny bit ahead of myself, but I did want to let you know that ElleBear is on her way!
ElleBear’s story has been written and her Story Pack will be along soon. Oh, and “ElleBear” is pronounced “Elley” like jelly, not Elle like bell. Getting the right name is important!
I wonder what ElleBear’s story will be about?
As you can see, we’ve been busy around here! With more to come…. of course!
As I mentioned in the “Support this Site” section, I am 100% committed to making Discussing Dissociation an incredible, helpful, useful, supportive, and informative site for dissociative survivors, their supportive loved ones, and their mental health professionals. I believe that beauty, and kindness, and compassion, and understanding, and safety, and communication can go a LONG WAYS in helping your whole system to find peace and healing.
I’m so glad you’re here. THANK YOU for being part of this wonderful, growing community. I hope you can find what you need while you’re here. If not, please don’t hesitate to write in and ask for assistance. We’re here to help!
I wish you the very best in your healing journey.
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2020 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
I come late to the party bc this article was written some time ago.
The Forums are worth much more than they cost because Kathy and crew make it so. I got to be on the forums a little bit because somebody else paid for it. I feel torn bc I want to stay in DDCF and DDEF. And when I can’t, I want to still be here, on this blog.
I have been in different therapies for most of the last 40 years. None of them treated me for the real thing, DID, and many of them repeated my early abuse. I didn’t get the help I needed, although the therapists had no trouble wasting my time and taking my money. So my youth, health and money are gone. And now I am tempted to feel resentful of paying one penny more, even for a therapy co-pay. BUT THERAPISTS GOTTA EAT TOO, and at least I am diagnosed properly now. And Kathy knows more about how to help than anybody anywhere, and that little bit of money makes this safe place possible and helps keep Kathy and crew healthy. And what would we do without Kathy or this refuge she has created?? I am new here at DD. Already I live in fear that something bad will happen to this place or people, bc I need you, and now I’m here, I can’t do without all y’all. And where else can all my people feel welcome, even though it is public? We feel your presence here KB, still keeping us safe. I wish I could contribute more. I wish I could get myself(s) to write more.
Fran, Boogie and Shadows
7/28/20
That helps a lot… we will definitely like to have the new forum bc this site is a little hard to navigate if we are looking for help on something specific.
Thanks for all the work you do..Kathy
I kinda feel stupid but what is the difference between a forum and this? (Or what Will the difference be?)
I haven’t been able to get online lately but I am able to go to the hospital in a few weeks so maybe that will help us. Trying to be ok for family is very very hard and then we get mad and sad.
Hope you all are doing well.
Hi Clancey Jane,
That’s a GOOD question, and it’s okay that you’ve asked.
This blog here has sorta become like a forum, in the sense that there is a community here, and folks write back and forth to each other, using the different blog articles as the topic of discussion. So yes… in that sense, the community conversations here have very much developed into forum-type discussions. And I think that is MARVELOUS! I’m so very proud of the community here!
The new Forum — the Official Forum — will be different in several ways. Here are some of the main points of difference:
1. People interested in joining the forum will need to sign up for a Forum Membership (via a Membership Site) to join the Forum, and yes, there will be a small monthly fee to join. It won’t be free. The blog community HERE will stay free, and will remain available for everyone.
2. Forum members will need to login with a dedicated username and password in order to see and participate in the forum.
3. The Forum will be private — meaning, other people browsing the net won’t be able to see what is posted or who posts it.
4. Forum structure and overall organization will be much easier to navigate so topics / conversations / threads / discussions will be much much easier to follow.
5. There will be 2 different Forum options. One for community conversations, much like here, only more organized. The second forum will specifically have more educational / teaching / therapeutic type information in it provided by myself and Laura.
6. I expect it will be easier to get to know the other Forum Members as I expect a higher level of involvement and an easier way of seeing who is who, in terms of posting. Plus, people are making a monthly commitment to be there, and with that commitment, I assume folks will be more involved on a more frequent basis.
7. Because the Forum will be much more private, I expect the discussions will be even more open, honest, and real — for lots more people. Because lots of folks don’t want to post out here on a public blog, even if they are reading here. So hopefully, more survivors will get the support they need if they have a safer, more private place to talk about what’s going on….!
This list is getting long, so I’ll stop there.
Hope that helps!
AND — more information will be coming out soon. I’ve been writing and writing all week long, lol.
Warmly,
Kathy
Wow, big big changes happening at your end Kathy! You must be buzzing around like a blue *** fly behind the scenes HAHAA
I’ve gotta say, it all sounds really great! You should be so proud of yourself for building a team and providing a place for us DID’ians to go thats safe and helpful.
On the topic of the forum… If people can’t afford it, there are at least 2 other up and very long time running forums for DID’ians they can use which are 100% free OR just keep talking here the same way they always have… its only going to be dividing if they allow it to be.
Paid or not, its not something we will be participating in but only because those days are behind us now. Taking care of ourselves comes first these days and we just simply don’t have the emotional or psychological energy to participate in forums or even many fb pages with survivors on there. We’ve been burned badly before and as much as i would absolutely trust and love your forum, we just needa do what’s best for us and protect our growth and healing. I don’t doubt however that it would be amazing!
As for grants. Try looking into state government ones here and see if there’s one in the community sector. We often see ones out here where i am which offer free stuff like mental health seminars etc etc. But i’m not sure if that’s because we are so remote or not…Either way, its something to look into.
Anyway, those are our thoughts. Onwards and Upwards for you and your team. Have fun while doing it and thank you for being so thorough with the roll out and taking everyone’s needs into account. (and sharing info as it happens!)
Our little’s send waves to you and your team and i’m being told especially Claire LOL and your furbabies 😉
can you please just delete my comment
i just dont need to be speaking my mind to anyone
let alone on this sitei need to get off my damn high horse
no matter how protective i am of you
it doesnt matter what i think for gods sake
i apologize
cadsn
I’m sorry, I wasn’t meaning to start something dramatic. I absolutely think that Kathy deserves to be paid and moderating a forum is a lot of work, as is this website. My comment was trying to say that I don’t have the answers – I don’t know how Kathy could be compensated fairly while also protecting people who can’t afford to pay to be part of a forum. If that’s the way it has to be, then of course that’s her choice and I would rather she take care of herself than harm herself to take care of us. But it will mean that not everyone can be part of it… including me. It’s how the world works in general, so there’s no huge surprise there! And at least the website and blog comments would presumably still not cost anything.
But it’s also not true that everyone would be able to come up with money if it’s important enough to them. Sadly, the world doesn’t work like that… especially for people with DID, many of whom have very limited financial resources because of how much we struggle to function. I’m better off than many, thankfully, but my circumstances would still mean I couldn’t make that choice.
Kathy, if you read this, please know I don’t think there’s anything wrong with charging if you have to. I would never suggest someone *should* work for free. I’ve come to value this space, and I was just expressing my anxiety that a forum – which would be a much better way to have these conversations! – will not be something I can participate in. You haven’t even said anything about it, so that was just me worrying about information I don’t even have yet. If that’s what you do, I’ll make the best of it. I don’t expect anything from anyone or feel like you (or anyone else) owes me something.
I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to say something that would spark drama. I didn’t mean to sound like I was complaining.
No drama, HazelE — you haven’t started anything, and I certainly don’t hear you complaining in any way. Conversations, concerns, and questions about pricings were gonna happen no matter what, so it’s okay. Your questions and comments were definitely fair territory so please don’t feel bad about writing.
And yes, yes, yes, this blog, and all the comment sections have always been free, and will most certainly stay free, and hopefully, the conversations will continue — with or without a forum!
Glad you’re here and part of the group — keep on writing! 🙂
Warmly,
Kathy
I hope no one is trying to make kathy feel guilty if she plans on charging a fee for the forum. Becuase that isnt fair to her. I feel like saying that you will feel bad or feel left out is manipulative to her. If you cant afford her forum fee there will still be this blog where hundreds of people still write. I feel left out here all the the time. So what? Kathy is a professional who has given all of us THOUSANDS and thousands of hours of her life for free. She deserves to be paid for her efforts. Not have people try to take advantage of her kindness. Its hard for me to afford also but if its important to me then I will MAKE a way to afford it somehow. Like i make a way to afford a cell phone or clothes or how people somehow make a way to afford cigarettes or getting their nails or hair done. People make a way for something thats important to them.
not being manipulative. being honest. not wanting to make kathy feel bad or anything at all. She has a healthy ego. I dont think she takes offense to what I say or to what anyone says. I think she would say so if she did. She’s smart and in control of herself. It’s her site and she can do with it what she wants. It will leave some people out. That is not to make her feel bad. It is the truth. Wanting to let you know you dont know how anyone else can or cannot do anything. I thought your first post about this was shaming to others and rude. Not all of it, just the last sentence. Who is taking advantage of her kindness? Who are you leveling these comments to? I never get my hair done or get my nails done or do anything else. I cant afford to. I donate plasma to help make ends meet. and I have donated to the site, bought the bear pack, and had several sessions with her…all paid for. What you say comes across to me as shaming me, and I know you dont know me. It felt like you were trying to make people feel guilty and ashamed and I wont be either because you think you know us. We were not being manipulative. My cell phone cost me five dollars five years ago. She does deserve to get paid for what she does. I dont deserve to be shamed for feeling bad or worried that this change will not be good for us. I must not be a people if they make a way for something thats important to them cuz I am afraid I wont be able to make a way for this. You dont know me.
Hey again, TheC4B,
I do recognize the struggle, of course. I hear your feelings, and I hear your upset and your distress. This is a painful topic for you, and I’m sorry it hurts. I can hear the layers of pain in your feelings, and I’m sure this hits a lot of familiar, previously bruised places. I understand your worries about how an additional group setting will affect THIS group setting, and like I mentioned earlier to you, I’ve asked myself many of those same questions.
In all fairness, I doubt that J’s or Caden’s comments were specifically addressed to you individually. Even if they were, I encourage you to step back, and be aware of your own interpretations, and worry less about her, and focus more on what we can do for you. (I know the timing of when comments come in, and the initial comments were written prior to them being able to see yours. So… in the chain on the page, they may appear related, but that is only because they weren’t posted in real time.) However…. no matter what anyone else says…. or the interpretations of what is said…. or what was / wasn’t said in the best of ways….
You’ve got nothing to be ashamed about, C4B. You have been an avid supporter of this site in so many many ways, and please be strong and secure and confident in yourself because you’ve been a very positive and beautiful member of this community, and that’s what matters. You’ve absolutely given and given in many ways, and seriously, you have nothing to be ashamed about. That shame — doesn’t belong here. You’ve been really really good to have around! You are valued, you are important, and we want you here!
And… the flip side of this Forum is… of course, as everyone understands, I’ll have to charge a fee for the Forum. It will be expensive to put together and to manage on an ongoing basis. It will be very different from the freebie Facebook groups, and probably considerably more involved than what can happen here in the blog itself.
And… as you know, I’ve managed a forum before, for 6 years, and I know full well the amount of work it takes on my side of the fence. I know full well the level of commitment, stress, and pressure it puts on me as the leader to have a large group setting for DID survivors. I’ve been thru’ this before, and I’m not going into this process blindly. Managing a busy forum can be utterly exhausting, overwhelming, and a non-stop job — (and with that in mind, I’m sure Caden’s comments were coming from a motive of “protecting Kathy” and not about “hurting others”).
Re: the Forum, I’m doing things differently this time, including having lots more help in the ongoing management and administration. I know the load on my own is far far far too heavy — I can’t even begin to do it by myself. But I have a team now, and I don’t have to do it by myself. So in order to provide the Forum, it will have to be a team effort. That will keep us all afloat.
And hopefully — assuming there are lots of Forum members — that will also help to keep the individual membership costs down. BECAUSE — just like I need a team of professional helpers to carry the workload, y’all need a team of survivors to help cover the costs. That way it’s not too much for any one person.
Those are some of my thoughts…. hope that helps.
Warmly,
Kathy
I hope kathy does charge a fee to use a forum. She spends so much of her own time and money on this blog and her stories and all the extras. She also has to pay all the people who work for her. She has spent thousands of hours on this website and didnt ever ask anyone for any monetary help until the last couple weeks. I would happily pay a fee to be on the forum. The lady works way too hard to be doing everything for free. I think it its important enough, people will figure out a way to pay for it and not expect kathy to keep giving everything for free.
I agree she spends so much of her own time and money on this blog and her stories and all the extras.
Your opinion of if its important enough, people will figure out a way to pay for it, is short-sighted in my opinion. I think your statement lacks empathy for others here who cannot figure out a way to pay for it. I personally do not expect Kathy to keep giving everything for free. This is her website and she can do what she wants with it. But your statements sound like you are shaming others. How do you know what anyone else can or cannot do? I wont be shamed by your lack of insight. Maybe financial difficulties is not a problem for you but being rude and hurtful on purpose is. You dont know anyone else’s situation. I hope you can find a way to be a little more thoughtful and kind to others here.
To all whom,
I have been looking for group, forums, blogs and any information I can. My husband and I both have DID. We only realize this last year when we went through a major trauma in our lives.
So I have been checking things out to see if this would be good for all of us.
Money talk can always make things stressful. I can see that it is stressful for Kathy who I am sure if she could would help everyone without charging a dime. But it isn’t the reality of the world. From what I see no one here wants her to do all this for nothing.
I get the impression that many people are in a situation like us who literaly don’t have a dime to spare! We would happily pay whatever was needed for help and support. It can be hard to see another’s point of view so I will give a view of ours for perspective.
My husband is here with me as I write this and I have his permission to talk about him and our situation.
An alter of my husband’s that had been quite for a very long time was trigger last year. Through therapy and looking back in our past I realize I have had a relationship with many of my husband’s alters. I had often remarked to my husband that I could see the injured child in him. It was this little boy who was triggered and another alter that I had never met before.
The stranger all but completely took over. Our lives became complete chaos. Our children and I didn’t know my husband anymore and he didn’t know even the most basic things about us. Everything that happened during that time cost us not just emotionally but financially. Money was being spent on things I didn’t know about and I couldn’t meet our bills. We are still trying to catch up and are on the verge of loosing our home.
My husband had to be hospitalized a couple of times and we both are in weekly therapy. Our medications have had to be added to and increased. Though we have insurance it is still costing us. I am disabled and have to limit the amount of time I am on my feet. But because our financial situation is so bad I am going off my pain meds so that I can get a job. I know that physical this is going to cost me and there will be long term damage done but I don’t see another choice.
I am thankful beyond measure for our therapists! And we are so blessed to be able to have them. Many other’s aren’t so lucky!
My point is I am sure you can see why we can’t afford to pay for a forum right now. It’s not about being willing or not to pay someone for their service and efforts. It’s about having nothing left to give! Hopefully things get better and down the road we can pay to join a forum.
It’s unfair to just assume that people just want something for nothing.
Hi Bunny,
I am so happy that you wrote to us all here. So first, I would like to welcome you to our community here and to thank you for telling us a little bit about you and your husband so that we can get to know you. New voices are always lovely to hear even though we are sad that you have to be coming here in the first place.
Now, let me reassure you that you have come to a great place for solid, honest and caring information. Kathy has written a ton of articles here to help us all understand what the heck is happening in our DID lives and how to develop the skills to live more whole, healthy and peaceful lives. ALL of that is free. Kathy has a HUGE GENEROUS heart and has provided all of this information for us with no obligation, fees or strings attached. There just is so much insightful information here that I think that you and your husband will find helpful (nine and a half years worth of articles and comments).
As to our community, Kathy has provided space for us to discuss her articles here on the DD website. She has also provided space for us to talk about anything that we want to – the “Our Normal Complicated Selves” and “Still Our Normal Complicated Selves” blogs. There are no fees required to write in any of these blogs spaces. That is our community and that is not going to change.
What Kathy and Laura are doing is offering some additional space for folks to participate – the online forums. These are fee-based yes. But, you do not have to participate in these forums to find community here. Many folks will be continuing to write here on the DD blog space either because they cannot pay the fee or do not want to participate in the forum or want to do both.
Bottom line – we are a very open, welcoming, safe and caring community here Bunny. I hope that you and your husband find the kind of help, caring and help that you are looking for here. You are not alone. We are all in this together!
ME+WE
10/14/18
Hi Bunny!
I just wanted to say that I’m glad you found Discussing Dissociation. It must be a challenging time for you, not knowing you’re DID for very long. Trying to figure everything out on top of normal life stuff is really hard, which is an understatement.
Once all the details come out about the forum, I hope there will be some way you can be involved. I’m a-wishin’ and a-hopin’, we can BOTH be able to do it. I’m on disability and a limited income too. We shall see what comes to pass.
But this blog isn’t going away anytime soon, so we’ll still have this place. I’m just looking forward to the forum because it will be SO much easier read posts and track conversations.
Anyway, hope you enjoy your time here!
MultipleMe
10/14/18
Hey j.,
I agree. It seems to me that most forums charge something, whether it’s on a sliding scale or not. I think that charging a fee isn’t unreasonable. It takes a lot to run it. There’s a lot of behind the scenes stuff that not very many see and you’re right, if Kathy has help, she’s got to be able to pay them. Just my 2 cents.
MultipleMe
9/15/18
You are so right about that! I will find a way to pay to be in the Forum. Maybe some of us could sponsor others. Just a thought. Kathy has us on her mind 24/7 & has wonderful stuff for us always! I know she must have rent & groceries & bills, bills, bills just like we do. And I don’t know that she has time for another job besides us. I don’t ever want her to burn out or have to leave because of finances. She is needed right here with us & that’s where she wants to be too. So, give it a think. I’m sure Kathy is giving it lots of thought & careful consideration. Something will work out for all of us I feel sure. Be thinking OK?
Kathy,
Thank you for the update and the reminders about the fabulous things going on behind the scenes! I for one am looking the most forward to the forums. Forums can be helpful, supportive places. And I for one will do what I can to be helpful and create peace wherever.
I wish you all the best. And hello to Alex. Thank you Alex for coming and helping everyone.
MultipleMe
9/14/18
Is it going to cost money to participate on the forum? I’m worried about that – the blog comments here are so clumsy and difficult to follow, and a forum would be a million times better. And I know a forum is a lot of work (though I guess moderating blog comments is too!). But I don’t know if I’d be able to pay money every month to be part of a forum. I wish you could get a grant or something to support this site so you could get paid but it didn’t exclude people who can’t pay money to be here.
I completely agree with HazelE. I cant afford a forum fee or monthly fee and fear that I will be excluded. I think I read something here somewhere about $25/mo fee in the past forum. I cant do that and I am worried that it will split some of us apart because of that issue. Maybe the people who cant afford to be a part of the forum can still write on the blog, but that would make for some really bad feels which would probably have me just distancing us and then dropping out altogether. This has been a good place for us to be, its helped when there was no one and nowhere else to go. Kinda worried that change will be good for others but not for us.
Hi C4B,
Yeah, I think you’re feelings are valid. I’m sure there’s several of us all here at DD that can’t really afford to pay a fee. I think people understand why a fee would be charged, but I think we’d better wait until Kathy and her helpers let us know more information. Maybe there will be a good solution for all that, because I’m pretty positive that they would think of that and how a fee would affect people. I think of the same thing, like I can’t afford a super huge amount, but Kathy would have considered that I’m almost positive. She reads our comments, so I’m pretty sure she’s aware of these comments.
I want you to be a part of it all so know that we don’t want you to feel excluded AT ALL.
Excited to see what happens,
MultipleMe
9/15/18
Hi HazelE and MultipleMe,
Im gonna go with your suggestion and wait until I know more. Im sorry I went a lil wackadoodle last night. In our defense though I am kinda freaked about it. I want to explain a little why…
In November of last year I lost my T. It was uncertain and up and down and strung out over a few months which was incredibly difficult to go through for us. In May I lost my cat, Missy and stopped going to an irl group that I had been attending. I dont get out much. I have agoraphobia and getting out is redonculously hard. lol. i dont have family or friends and know no one so coming here has saved my life. Literally. I am in and out of a dark darkness that sometimes I can see light and mostly not. The losses were hard and my friends here pulled me through. ME+WE has been my bestie godsend. We write to each other through emails too. I hope she doesn’t mind me saying this. During the time she went on holiday she emailed me every day. I was in a horrible place and she was there for me every day. I love her for that. Shout Out Miss Me and all your We’s. She sent me postcards that were so cool. And she has been my friend. If it wasn’t for ME+WE we never would have talked with Kathy, never would have rescued Nox, never would have been able to write about it or share it here so maybe others can use the information for their benefit in their own lives. Being here truly has been a godsend for us. Jenny says Kathy is the coolest person she ever met, and I agree. If it wasn’t for this site and for her, we would not have made it to see the little bit of light we can now. No joke. She’s been an anchor in this outside world and we have needed her, and she has always been there for us. Used to be I would get emails from her on hard days she knows about and that would make me feel cared about even though I hadn’t been around this site in years. Then she answered some questions that helped me be less afraid of myself. She has always cared about us. She’s funny and fun and silly sometimes and smart and kind. The last couple months we have been in a place where we cant get out of our own head very far. We try to participate and be helpful and share and build friendships, and I think we have and Im sorry we haven’t been involved as much as we used to be and as much as we want to be. Last night I think the losses hit me and the thought of losing what we have here hit me like a ton of bricks. Now that I have had some time away and can see a little more clearly I agree to wait and see what plans Kathy is going to settle with. And I think even if I cant make it onto the forum, we will still be able to feel a sense of community on the blog, like we do now.
HazelE, it wasn’t you. I would have posted what I did on a regular post and not a reply to you but I agreed with what you thought and added my stuff. Im sorry if we upset yous.
Hi TheC4B,
Y’all have been such an important part of this group! Please don’t ever ever think you are not.
Of course, I am fully aware that not everyone will join the forum, or will be able to do so. That’s very sad, and I don’t know how to fix that just yet. I hope to keep the forum affordable. I can promise you, the motivation behind adding a forum is not to purposefully exclude anyone. It’s more about creating helpful options and providing more healing opportunities for as many dissociative people as possible.
I hear what you’re saying tho’, and I too, have worried some about how adding a forum will affect the group cohesion here on the blog pages. The support and friendship offered HERE is wonderful, and frankly, I hope that stays, including you and your C4B comments – y’all have helped make this group as wonderful as it is.
So… the main way to keep the comments and conversations going HERE is to stay committed to the comments and conversations happening HERE. These pages won’t go away — they’ve been here for 9.5 years, and hopefully will be visible for many, many years to come. I can’t make anyone comment, but I sure appreciate when you do!
What I know about groups is that people come and go. Even some of our “core” writers here come-and-go in their daily lives. And of course, even if people join the forum, they can still post HERE, and they will certainly be encouraged to do so. At the same time, new-to-here folks are showing up all the time, and new conversations will begin, new friendship will develop.
I, for one, hope the conversations HERE stay active, even if there is a forum. HERE matters too, and starting one option doesn’t erase what we have built here. Let’s keep HERE fresh and vibrant, and HERE will still be good for everyone. We can do that — we have that option as well!
Change is hard tho’, hey? And a little scary.
Hold tight, C4B — and I vote you stay close by, instead of drifting away….. that’s MY preference!
Warmly,
Kathy
Thank you Kathy. Thank you for being kind and understanding and here and here for us and saying all that you did. We promise to do our best. I’m sorry we got so upset. Bad days are coming and we are struggling to be a part of outside world and afraid of losing our friends. I can see now and, we can wait til we know more and, we will find a way to adjust with the new things. Change is hard. Yep. But, maybe it will be okay. -b
Hi HazelE and everyone interested in the forum —
Oh yes, forums are much more organized and easier to follow, and not nearly so confusing. AND, more private. They can be absolutely fabulous support options.
And yes, there will be a charge for the forum because forums simply cost a lot to manage — the computer girl has to set up a variety of things, the Client Care Team will be involved in the admin processes, Laura and I will be involved in the daily processes of the forum itself, and there are all the behind-the-scenes costs as well. And as we all know, forums are active 24/7, so once the work starts, it doesn’t end! The ongoing unending nature of a forum is absolutely wonderful, and also a heavy load on the “work” side of things.
re: pricing — I have a couple different ideas — which you’ll see when the Early Bird Forum page / video gets posted.
I can say this much — one of the first things happening is a SURVEY for everyone interested, and pricing questions will be asked there. I want to hear what LOTS of people say, so the Survey will be available for everyone to fill out.
The Survey will help me make a final decision on pricing — or at least give me a starting place. I certainly have my own ideas, but I will wait to see what the Survey results are before I make an official statement.
Wish I knew how to get one of those grants you mentioned, HazelE! Wouldn’t that be awesome!
More info coming soon!
Thanks for your interest. 🙂
Warmly,
Kathy
You just need a grant writer! And in the States, you would need to be a 501C3 status. Not sure about Australia but maybe someone knows?! I’ve seen Huge Grants come to small nonprofits in my city. Yep. You need a Grant Writer that knows Australia.
Theres a lot happenin Kathy and i think its good but its a lot scary. I dont come here so much anymore cos people seem to write lots and no each other and it make s me lonely. I am happy you are happy an alex looks happy an nice. Hello alex.
from a sky people.
Sky,
People do write a lot . And we do comment on each other stuff. I’m sorry your feeling left out. I will try to make sure people in this body says hello. when we see you have written something.
We have A interior bulletin board. I will post the message so everyone know to say hi to you.
Thats realnice of you. Sorry tbisus late, ihane trouble keeping up – time does its own thing, and sometimes it just too hard to look? We would like to say hi to you too x
Hi Sky,
Please know you are always welcome here to jump right in and stay what’s on your mind. We would all really like to hear from you. Do you feel safe enough to do that yet? Hopefully you will try again because I for one would like to hear what you have or your parts have to say.
I hope the loneliness doesn’t keep you from speaking out for too much longer.
MultipleMe
9/14/18
Hey Sky,
It’s good to hear from you again — I’m glad you decided to come back and say hello!
You are certainly welcome to join in and chatter with us any time you wanna — the people here only got to know each other by writing to each other, and it’s super okay if you join in. Try writing a little bit each week and pretty soon you’ll feel lots more comfortable and familiar with the other folks around here.
I will most certainly pass your friendly hello to Alex. Thanks for that. 🙂
Warmly,
Kathy
He said hi, that was nice and unexpected. Its weird when things like that happen
Hi Sky,
Yes there certainly is a lot happening in the comments section of the website … oh and a ton of Kathy articles many of which I have not discovered yet myself after four years reading on these pages. That can seem a bit overwhelming at times but I sure do not want you to feel scared or lonely. We are all here to listen, understand and help one another. We are friends because we talk to one another here and support one another. We are a community of friends brought together by our DID. You are a very valued and welcomed Sky please know that. We want to get to know you better too so please do not be afraid to talk here. We are open and caring and want you to feel safe and heard here.
Your friend,
ME+WE
09/21/18
Thankyou, id like to stop by more but ifind it all waaay to confusing to ke ep up with tbh
Hi Sky,
I certainly understand. I just stick with reading the pages listed on the home page and then the latest 20 postings by DID folks in the right-hand column. I check daily so that I do not get lost with what was said when. And, often I have to read and reread and read again because I loose time and context and different insiders read at different times. Ya … way confusing sometimes.
Just jump in when you can or want to. Maybe just concentrate on only one blog like our “Still Our Normal Complicated Selves” blog. That is where we just put out a whole bunch of stuff on any topic we like. If you are getting confused or need help, just shout out there and we will try and help you sort things out. vWe are just here to help one another.
ME+WE
09/2418
Kathy,
We follow very closely these days. We haven’t missed one thing you mentioned.
Due to some physical issues, our time is coming to a close on this planet. As long as we can, we will continue to come here. It’s just THAT important to us.
We have come to call you “friend”. Even though technically a Therapist can’t be that. We feel like the time we have spent with you in one way or another means something. At least it does for us.
This site and everyone here has been very pivotal for us. We can’t even begin to say how much.
Keep on keeping on..
I’m sorry you’re sick and in pain. My heart would be split when I no longer see you posting. It will be split into sadness because you have offered so much traffic on this blog. I will also have happiness. For that you will be in peace mentally and physically. The angels will receive another to helpl out in the D.I.D worlds
Wow, thanks, All the Jill People — thanks for sharing your heart. ❤️
It’s always good to hear from you, and thanks for staying close. Really glad you’re here and it’s super cool to hear that DD has such deep meaning to you. That in itself means a lot to me too.
Of course, you know I’m hoping that your health issues improve….
Hold tight, and know we’re all thinking of you.
Warmly,
Kathy
Hi All the Jill People,
I just got to reading this blog and the comments. I was so happy to see your name here (i.e., that you had posted a comment). Then I read the part about your health and WOW … I am so sorry to hear that you are so very ill. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers (to the Universal energy as I am not involved in “formal religion) and send you my compassionate caring and respect for all that you are and have done as a community member here. Please write when you can and know that we always appreciate hearing from you.
ME+WE
09/21/18