My Mother Would Say to You — Help One Another.
It’s back that time of year when it’s all about mothers. Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and everywhere you look, there are reminders and tributes and commercials and advertisements for mothers.
I was blessed with a beautiful, kind, self-less, hard-working mother, who provided a wonderful childhood for her 4 children. I had to share my mother with three younger brothers — ( yes, I had 3 pesky little brothers to deal with!!! ) — but being the only girl, I also got to have many special and heart-warming times with my mom.
I’ll be forever thankful and grateful for my mother, and every time I see her, we’ll continue to do something special. (She lives in Canada, and I live in Australia, so you know… those times are extra special now, considering the distance we travel to have time together.).
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like my mom. She is truly a beautiful soul. She’s also a goof-ball, and maybe one day I’ll share some of her silliness as well. I won’t digress right now, but yeah… my mom is a funny one.
But, with all her wonderful traits…. my mom’s lifelong dedication to helping others — and teaching others to help others — has forever and always been etched in my mind as one of her very best qualities.
One of the earliest songs I remember being taught by my mother had the words “Help one another, help one another” repeated over and over. I think this song was her own creation, and really, she sings it because she believes it. I’ve heard her sing this song to dozens and dozens of young children. And considering that she was a kindergarten teacher in a big school for decades, I can’t even imagine how many children have heard this same little song.
My mother truly believes in helping other people, and she has lived her entire life, willingly, and happily, helping one person, after another, after another, after another. Being a teacher, she felt strongly about teaching others to be helpful. She has lived it, by her own example, but she actively teaches it to others, even to this very day.
So I suppose… a big part of my mom’s legacy was her helping me, and teaching me the importance of being helpful. Which of course, would have had direct impact on my choices, which lead to years of my helping you. And now….. you are here, reading this, and learning from my mother as well. And now it’s your turn to help yours.
Yep, I’m willing to share MY mom’s gentle wisdom with you.
Absolutely.
And I really hope that you take that in, and let her helpful spirit impact and change your life as well.
I guarantee you, that if you approach the children in your system with the same gentle, generous, kind, helpful manner that my mom has, you’ll make HUGE steps in your healing.
HUGE.
Because why would a child not respond to gentle loving kindness?? Really, that’s what children need most in the first place.
You can call it DID System Work, or you can call it “Being Kind and Helpful just like Kathy’s Momma”.
The Resistance…..
EVERY single DID survivor I have spoken to, at some point or another, has had child parts that they avoided. Like really avoided. Would not go near that child. Could not go near that child. Refused to go near that child.
Every single time.
There’s some little one in there — or maybe a bunch of little ones in there — that feel too scary, or too dirty, or too traumatized, or too far away, or too loud, or too angry, or too sad, or too scared….
The list of “reasons to avoid those child parts” could go on for a very long time.
And I understand how difficult and enormously painful it is to approach those child parts who hold such difficult and painful information. I know it hurts, and I know you’d rather NOT know the bad news or crushing memories that are attached to those child parts.
I get that. I understand it’s hard. And painful.
But I’ve been taught by my mom that we are supposed to help each other. ( Help one another, help one another ….)
We aren’t supposed to turn a blind eye when someone is struggling — we are supposed to do something about it — ESPECIALLY when that child is your own child.
“Help one another, help one another.” (Can you hear a funny little Canadian woman singing that ??).
Practice listening for it — pretty soon, you’ll be able to hear it too.
What happens when we help each other?
When we help each other, we can work together to get rid of the problem — whatever the problem is.
If you have child parts stuck in dirt and mud and filth, by helping them, you can give that child a better life and a better sense of self.
If you have child parts who are hungry, you can overcome the years of neglect and starvation that they felt.
If you have a child who is cold, you can warm them with layers of clothing and soft fuzzy blankets or gentle bear hugs.
If you have a child who is hurting, you can help them get safe and to heal from their wounds.
What’s stopping you????
What makes it hard to help others in your system ????
Examine Your Fears of Helping
So if you haven’t already helped every single one of your insiders get to a better place in both your outside world AND your inside internal world, what’s that about?
Why is it hard to help them?
Chances are that on some level, you actually do agree with my mom — that helping people who need help is an important thing to do.
So…. If you agree with that concept, and you believe in helping people who have been hurt, and if you have a system full of folks who have been hurt…..
But it’s hard to help them……
What do we do then?
My best advice, at this point, is to examine your fears, and find the obstacles. Look honestly at your motives, and your thinking. What is the real reason you are avoiding helping others in your system?
Some Common Obstacles
Let me list out a few of the most common obstacles I hear about when people say they don’t want to — or can’t, or won’t — help their insiders:
- I don’t know how to help them.
- I’m scared of them, and scared of their memories.
- They are bad kids — it was their own fault they were hurt.
- I don’t like kids (teenagers, adults, men, women…. Fill in the blank).
- They deserved to be hurt.
- I don’t wanna know.
- I would rather die than know the truth about my abuse history.
- I want to hurt myself more when I hear how I have been hurt by others.
- I don’t know where they are. I can’t see them. I can’t get near them.
- They belong to the abusers, not me.
- I’m not strong enough to help them.
- I’m not big enough to help them.
- They are too mean — they don’t need any help.
- They hurt me too many times already, so I’m not going to help them.
- It won’t do any good anyway — they’ll never change.
Do any of those 15 excuses ring a bell for you?
Have you ever thought that, in one form or another?
What 15 other “causes for resistance” can you add to this list?
And what can you do to FIX your resistance ???
Start right here. Start by challenging your very own thinking.
WHY do you believe that? And if you don’t actually “believe” it, why are you following that pattern in your life?
Where are you blocked, and why are you blocked there?
Get freedom in your thinking, so you can easily make other decisions, and take more effective action steps.
What does it take for you to CHOOSE and DECIDE to help your others?
Back to What My Momma Taught YOU ….
Now…. What did my momma teach you?
My momma says to help one another.
Why? Because it’s HELPFUL.
And it’s good. And it makes everybody’s life better. And it’s the right thing to do. And when people’s needs are met, things really go soooooo much smoother in life.
A Coincidental Timing
I didn’t plan to release the Saddest Little Bear Dissoci-ACTION Story Pack at the same week as Mother’s Day. If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know I’ve been saying it for months and months already, lol.
Yes, yes, the Story Pack did just finally get finished, but the timing for “Mother’s Day” was NOT on the agenda, and definitely not intentional.
I’ll admit — at first I was irritated when I realized that such an important day was here right here upon us exactly when I wanted to introduce the Saddest Little Bear! Hmmmmph!
AND THEN…..
I thought about it, and I realized that this was still a perfect time for the Saddest Little Bear.
Why???
Because the Saddest Little Bear Dissoci-ACTION Story Pack is all about helping others in your system.
It’s all about following my mother’s advice to “Help one another.”
In FACT ……. My mother HELPED to make the Little Bear Story Pack, so her goodness, and her blessings, and her gentleness, and her care is sitting there in this little bear pack. My momma really is helping to teach you and your system and your little ones.
So when I say that I wanna share my mother’s wisdom with you, just know that 100%, she’s there in the Bear’s Story Pack too.
How it Gets Better …
The difficult complexities in your system really will get better when you help each other with gentleness and compassion.
I’ve had that message taught to me my whole life long, and I can GUARANTEE…..
Approaching a child with helpfulness, is much much much more effective than leaving a child neglected, ignoring the abuse, or not meeting their normal, basic needs.
Your system needs your help.
AND then you will all feel better. Together.
I wish you all the best, in a very helpful healing journey.
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
I be so jels uv pepl who got moms who love them
I wis i dint be 🙁
I dnt no how not be
I be hape fr u lady
some bude did help me las nite
2 sum budes did
when i got hirt
i rite it down here so i can rmembr it
i dont do this becos i worry it might be bad. but some times i want to. i wish i could pretend i have a mom like this. i wish i culd pretend i have a nice family. like a family that think of me. amd want me around. i wish i culd pretend my family like me. and even would miss me. and they would say nice things like kathys mom do. and if i got hurt they would care. and even if they would smile when they saw me.
wouodnt that be funny.
today at schol caden see lots of moms and dads
her talk to them
her say how proud her be of there kids.
and the moms and dads be so happy and say nice things abot there kids.
and they be so proud of there kids.
caden say so many nice things to them.
caden say nice things to us. but it dont be the same.
i wish so much we had a mom and dad and they wuld be proud
i wish the mom and dad wuld say nice things to us
them allways did to are sister,
them just dont be like that with us.. them allways want us be perfict and try harder. and be good. and dont ask for help. and be sher to help evrebudy else. and get strate As.
but them dont ever say complamints.
just some times i wonder what it wuld be like.
i just wonder what it wuld ge like to have a real family. and be a real girl.
This is a timely article. We have alters that hate each other. We need to learn to help each other. How do we learn to help each other when one part wants to hurt the other? Our therapist says we have to learn to love each other. That sounds strange to us, but when we are at war with our alters, within ourselves, it makes sense. We didn’t want to believe the abuse. We don’t want to accept the abuse. We want to avoid it all costs. But only as we work through the pain of our secrets, we will ever find healing.
Does anyone else have arguments/fights among alters? For years, we would come home from social situations, and repeat entire conversations out loud- not realizing that we were telling others about our experiences. We have done this for years; especially during stressful situations or conversations.
So now we know why we always talked to ourselves. We still often talk out loud amongst alters. We try not to do it, but we catch ourselves, or my husband or a friend points it out. It can be a little embarrassing at times, but also funny at times. Sometimes we ask questions out loud and other alter comes out and answers!
DK, our protectors are stuck in old ways, and they’re crabby kids. Hard to reason with. We’re going to try just noticing our inside interactions. Then make a plan with Ts.
Incidentally, we’re cutting back on therapy. Too many appointments. Very little progress. Simplifying.
5/18/18
Hi DK,
“Does anyone else have arguments/fights among alters?”
Oh wow … story of my life right now and the past seven months in therapy!
I am trying to deal with my one very angry one and things are very rocky. She hates me, thinks that I am weak and a whimp and that the abusers were correct in their characterization of me as such. She also is angry at the little ones who experienced the trauma because she feels that they shunned her (i.e., did not let her do what she wanted to do during the times of abuse). Then she thinks that she needs to punish us to make us stronger. Well, you get the idea … just a whole lot of internal chaos. The little ones are terrified with her and some are trying to ignore the whole thing or think that I am just making more work for them dealing with the fallout from the angry one. And Squirrel, my little constant companion has given me many talkings to about having anything to do with the angry one.
I am really scared too to tell you the truth. The acting out, self punishment and addictions are frightening, hurtful, discouraging and depressing. But, I know that I cannot ignore anyone in my system if I hope the heal. No one can be ignored or not heard. So, I feel like I am going through detox in a way – feeling all of the horrible physical and mental pain of getting past the abuse drugged state that I have been in all of my life. Until I get it all out of my system, I will be trapped with victim addiction all of my life.
I do not want to be a victim. I want to be a survivor!
ME+WE
05/18/2018
ME+WE, I am so happy to have a safe space here to talk. I actually feel better knowing other people with DD have this war within themselves. Right now it’s an angry one mad at the churchmouse girl. I think my angry alter is mad she can’t do whatever she wants, how she wants; when she wants. Churchmouse tells her how to act, so she is angry. The angry one is just a teenager, so she doesn’t have may reasoning or self coping skills. Our main part knows many of them, but the angry one doesn’t.
Feeling confused, but trying to go on, DK 5/18
Hi DK,
I agree … talking here and hearing the experiences of others helps me immensely. Especially the part of not being alone with your feelings and that you are not crazy – others have the same kinds of experiences too!
Trying to build communication with your insiders (i.e., host to insiders) is hard enough but then to try and navigate the internal communication and conflicts – that can be so very confusing and frustrating. Not all insiders know about one another or share common experiences and then some just do not like one another or try to harm one another. ARGH!
A big part of my struggle right now is with my most angry one and some of my little ones who are not happy with me trying to communicate with this angry one. So, I am getting a lot of wrath from the angry one about EVERYTHING and a whole lot of flack from some others for having opened this can of worms. But, I know that I cannot expect to catch any fish to nourish my understanding without some worms.
Hang in there DK and keep venting here if it helps.
ME+WE
05/18/2018
Oh Kathy that was so sweet. (((Hugs))) I have come a long way with my inside people. In the end I did just that. Recognize, value and help each part. It has taken me 40+ years to find some healing with my mother. I have found peace, forgiveness and a new beginning. But I will always have a hole in my heart for the mother I never had as a child. A few special people I worked with, modeled that for me and I cherish them. But I still found parts emerging as I read your story. I remember you. You were very quiet and gentle long ago at Charter. I remember back then knowing you were safe. I was disappointed that the person I was assigned to wasn’t safe. (Emotionally safe). So I just drew close to your corner I could. Thank you for that back then (being kind and safe). And thank you today for sharing your mom. It made me smile to think how kind you still are after all these years. I’m glad to have found you again. Warmly, jen
At first I thought No Way would I neglect or ignore….on purpose….child parts. I have spent my adult life as a Social Worker, working with children. I couldn’t imagine deliberately ignoring children….either inside or outside. Then right near the end of the article it hit me…….the little one who yearns for so much that she wasn’t allowed to have. And we were abused for being needy, and things were taken away or ruined to teach us to stop wanting more than we already had and so on until we became very afraid to want better or more than we have. And I do fear and try to ignore that little part. Scheduled for therapy tomorrow with EMDR session to work on the beliefs that keep her locked away and feared.
This hits home 100% right now. I’m struggling with resistance right now. Ironic that I have an insider that keeps insisting nothing happened and everything is lies. So my obstacles are shame, fear, overwhelm, and lack of skill (knowledge? I just don’t know what to do). I’m just barely functioning
Hi CD,
So good to hear your voice here. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough patch.
“So my obstacles are shame, fear, overwhelm, and lack of skill (knowledge? I just don’t know what to do).”
WOW … that is a whole lot of too much pain and confusion. You know, I just finished reading two of Kathy’s articles that she linked to in her latest email course message:
Overcoming Instability Issues and Unsuccessful Memory Work
Emotional Intensity, Safety and Memory Work
The second article (in particular) may be helpful to you. I learned a lot from the articles about modulating my trauma work so that I build understanding, knowledge and cooperation with my insiders first before launching into any trauma work. Of course, our insiders thrust us into trauma work sometimes without our knowledge or consent that is for sure. But, if you can build a working relationship with them so you are not flooded with stuff all at once, your healing process will be a bit less overwhelming and seemingly out of control. My T is continually telling me this – that it takes a whole lot of time and patience and do not go at it too fast.
I am not sure if this fits CD but it is a good read none-the-less. Please keep us updated on how you are doing if you are up to it as we will be thinking of you. Maybe it would help if you can talk some of your concerns/issues with how your insider work is going here?
This is not an easy journey CD. It is a path taken with many tiny steps.
My positive thoughts and energy go out to you.
ME+WE
05/15/2018
It’s been a month since I’ve been on here (yet I don’t actually remember reading… Or commenting on this post). I really wish there was some sort of post and comment notification.
Thank you for your comment Me+We. I will look at those articles. I’m in a bit better place. Not long after this post, I was able to process a trauma memory. I think it had been building for weeks. It gave me some relief (although briefly), and she renewed hope. I definitely hope to be more active on here. But it is hard for me to keep track of everything.
Hi CD,
It is so wonderful to hear your voice here and to know that you are feeling a bit better. Wow … it sounds like you made a giant step forward in your healing journey. That feels like a huge relief when it happens but I get a bit wobbly as well. Not sure if that is what you are feeling as well. It is like one of the weights that I have trudged through my life with has been lifted off of me and now I have to relearn how to walk all over again in the shoes of a lighter person. Then, I know that this is going to happen time and time again as I process more and more stuff. But, it is so worth it! One day I hope to be light enough to fly.
The website here can be a bit overwhelming because there is just so much incredible depth to it. I find it quite the exciting task to read or reread blogs when folks post in different areas of the website. I am (re)discovering things all of the time here … even things that I have written. Actually, I often reread stuff that I write when it gets posted because I am never exactly sure what I have said. While this can be frustrating sometimes, I feel that it is also a gift of perpetual discovery.
Now, some of us put dates on our postings and that helps folks know when things have been written. But, anything (new or old) that you see that sparks something in you is great for us all to hear about. It helps us all hear the depths of thought here on the website or maybe a new spin on something that we have already read.
To keep up with new postings, I check the website every day (with a few exceptions). On the right hand side bar is a list of “Recent Comments”. Here you will find links to the last 20 comments made on the website. If someone has written something in response to me, I will always find it there. That may mean clicking through all of the 20 postings (you can look for the blog topic title as a way to narrow the search down). This is how I read the most current postings to the website.
I do not necessarily always have the time to respond but I do make a habit of staying current with what has been posted on the DD website. I just find that the website is my friend that I touch base with everyday. It helps me stay grounded in the community and my own healing. So, I usually start and end my day with the community here. I get really jangled when I do not get to do this.
I hope that this helps a bit CD. Just jump in when you want to or can. No big pressure here okay? I always like seeing your name pop up in the “Recent Comments” but just know that we are here for you even when you are not up to writing. The community holds space for everyone here.
ME+WE
06/16/18
Happy Mother’s Day K Bear 🙂
Cuz ain’t you a mother too? we hope your kids do something for you that makes you feel proud to be a momma.
What a lovely blog post Kathy. Your mum sounds like a real gem of a person. I wish ours was more like yours LOL.
The excuses were both relatable but startling to me. I have to say the only one I’ve ever thought or said was “i don’t know how to help them”. But even then, i couldn’t bear to see them suffering so i did anything i could even if it was desperately offering them a dolly to hold LOL. I never shy’d away from them and my limited knowledge on how to help them fueled my desire to learn more and grasp any concepts i could get my hands on. I even researched child development to help myself understand the kids and their specific age needs.
Its can be so overwhelming when you’re polyfragmented too, and have literally dozens upon dozens of people screaming in pain. But even then, while it was overwhelming i couldn’t ever abandon them or say or even think, even for a second, any of those other excuses.
It truly breaks my heart that you’ve had that experience over and over! That every single system you’ve met has at least 1 child who is neglected by CHOICE! I cannot fathom it. If you couldn’t abandon a screaming child in the outside world, why is it ok to do it to those who are sharing a body with you? I try to have empathy but i suppose its my protector spirit and personality type that prevents me accessing it fully.
Having said all this though, i suppose i am lucky too, that each group of little kids in my systems has at least 1 carer, people who do love and care for them and whom i can reach out to for help and advice. Its not always easy and god knows half the time i scream inside begging for someone to help me nobody does LOL. But still, i count my blessings haha. Maybe that’s a perk of being polyfragmented? Or perhaps the numbers of carers are a reflection of the dire need and yearning for a real good, honest, caring and genuinely loving parent? Who knows. But i do know i appreciate each and every one of them and thanks to this blog post i think i will do something extra special for them tomorrow…Not sure what tho but i’ll have a think lol.
Thank you Kathy, for taking so much time, care and effort to help systems and in particular those who are most vulnerable and fragile within them- kids.
Happy mothers day to you for tomorrow and to your mum too. We hope you’re able to have a nice day even though you’re here in aust. and your boys are in the usa and mum in Canada.
Happy mothers day to Laura and Claire too (if they are mums that is)
Wonderful post Astrie. The love and compassion that you show your insiders is an inspiration to us all. Thank you for sharing this.
ME+WE
05/13/2018
We try to help others. I like the “Help one another help one another”. Teach insiders it’s okay to help others outside us. We also learned that we have to teach others how to help us. No one has all the knowledge. All of us together have to learn, and teaching is a good way to learn. We can help others by giving what we need. Not giving it away to where we can’t have it anymore. Giving so it grows in us and outside us. It’s gotta start somewhere.
We didn’t have a good bio-mom. We have had many good teachers who taught us mostly by example. We learn best by watching. There have been many good non-bio-mothers and fathers that teach us as they pass through our sphere. Even if it was only for a brief time. We like the “pay it forward” idea of this “help one another help one another” idea, too.
Thanks for post, Kathy. Like ME+WE, our littles hold shame and memories. All 3 protector parts are also littles. They don’t mind their adults well. So we’re working on upgrading their skills: AJ (anger) is in charge of Nonviolent Communication; Punisher is learning to help with self-care. He took his first action last night, getting our attention by ringing the doorbell in our left ear. OCD is learning how to keep time and that bad feelings aren’t permanent even if they last a long time. We cuddle sometimes when parent is able.
Nurture them if and when we can—to whatever extent possible, says one T. Practice. 5/10/18
Super delegation of responsibilities and skills T.Clark. I love the thought of AJ responsible for “Nonviolent Communication”. That is a brilliant idea and one that I am going to borrow thank you.
Shame is a soul sucker! I find it curious how the victims take on the shame that the scum perpetrators deserve but feel none of. How does that work? It is NOT our shame. We did NOTHING to feel shameful about. Children are NEVER responsible for the abuse that they have suffered.
So why do we feel shame?
A few weeks ago I was berating myself and was explaining how I had not suffered enough pain yet to be worthy of any measure of kindness, compassion or sympathy. My T looked at me and in a serious tone said, “would you say that to a four year old child sitting here who had gone through what you went through?” Of course I would not but I say it to myself.
It is time to lay blame, shame and punishment in those who truly deserves it … our perpetrators NOT us!
Why do we not see this?
Yes, I was silenced emotionally and physically but why do I let them silence me even now many, many decades later?
Oh, and T.Clark do not let the bad guys take your imagination away from you. It is what saved you in the end.
ME+WE
05/10/2018
I’m glad for you that you had such a good mom. I bet she will love reading your post either.
I cant fathom what such a relationship would be like. But I am really happy that you have it.
My mom taught me that I am not good enough, ro keep my mouth shut, that I am fat, that I am not worth making time for, that everyone else is more important .
I think its beautiful that your mom taught you good things.
Caden,
I am sorry that you mother treated you in such a way. No child should be made to feel the way that your felt. You are no invisible. You matter. Your needs matter. You are a beautiful soul. If your Mother could not see these things, that is her issue.
You are important. You are strong. I hope that you have found someone is your life that shows you that you are not invisible, and that you matter.
Wow Kathy! What a wonderful tribute to your mom and a thoughtful and inspirational message to us all. I sincerely believe that the coincidental timing with the Saddest
Little Bear pack launch was actually guided by other worldly forces. You really could not have chosen a better time.
“What does it take for you to CHOOSE and DECIDE to help your others?”
BAM … That one hit home big time. I have been trying to reframe how I view myself and my life out of a “victim” framework and into a “courageous warrior survivor” model — to be courageous (to find the strength to see and embrace my truth as told to me by my insiders), to be a warrior (in a strong, compassionate warrior sense of fighting for what is right and good for me and my insiders) and to find a loving perspective of me as a survivor (recognizing that the trauma was in the past, I endured, it is not now nor will it ever be and I can now live triumphantly). That is a choice. I know that that may be hard for folks stuck in the pain, depression and despair of trauma to see and I understand that — I still go there many times a day myself. This is a new view, a new practice for me but I am determined to make healing as natural and easily accessible to me as the trauma. Lots of practice needed!
Our little ones are the key here. I have not turned my back on them but I have found it exceeded difficult to see and hear them sometimes. And I live with a constant sense of shame that I am letting them carry the burden of the trauma as I am still so unable to accept it as my own. I am a big person and I should be able to handle things but I get scared … really, really scared … and I let them take care of it all. I am not proud of myself for doing this and work to take in more — to at least open my mind and heart to see and hear. And, while I try to gather up the courage to embrace them fully, the least that I can do is make their existence safe, comfortable, warm, cared for, nurtured, etc. The Saddest Little Bear story helped me find even more ways to do this. At the very least, my little ones deserve to be cared for after all they have done for me.
I see my T tomorrow and I had decided to honour her for Mother’s Day. Not that she is a mother figure but rather she has been more like a Midwife helping me to birth my little ones into a world of acknowledgement, acceptance, understanding and compassion. I do not have children in the sense of having given birth but I do have a bunch of inside children who deserve a loving, caring, accepting mom — ME. So as I go into this Mother’s Day weekend, my focus is going to be on being a good mother to my inside little ones. Maybe we will have some cake and ice cream!
ME+WE
05/08/2018
there is one reason on your list missing – my mother said i ruin everyones life and dont deserve help as she recognized the 3 younger sisters as her kids but we didn’t belong to this world. but that doesnt stop us for wishing for better and after having a ton of shame-guilt removed we feel free to be. the catch is we dont work together we just trust that all the parts are ok. small steps they say. got the saddest bear package and the first project making soup is daunting (we thought we are doing better (we really are)) lots of triggers starting with cant eat soup but a little more time and we will overcome. in the meantime living in canada and summer close (not soup season) we can do raw veggies and dip lots of different veggies.
i bet we cud mac hr be a bad mom
it b ez
we cud trn hr bad
we du it tu mene ppl