I am SO excited about this announcement.
LAURA is HERE !!!!
LAURA is HERE !!!!
LAURA is HERE !!!!
Laura Boettger, LPC has joined Discussing Dissociation as the Email Consultant, and I am sooooo happy she’s here with us. Everything is growing quickly here at Discussing Dissociation, and while that is absolutely wonderful, sometimes, it’s more than I can do on my own. It will be fabulous to have Laura here as part of the Clinical team.
This is the good news —-
It’s hard enough to find ONE DID specialist.
It’s AMAZING to find TWO DID specialists — both of us here to help YOU in whatever way we can. TWO !! NOW THERE ARE TWO !!
It’s heartbreaking to hear how many DID survivors can’t find ANY legitimate, qualified, experienced therapeutic help for genuine dissociative concerns. That’s simply not okay !! I can’t do it all myself, so to help address the needs of so many, I’ve brought Laura in to be a DID expert resource for you too.
I am sooo happy she’s here.
I’ve known Laura for more than a decade, and she has a solid and thorough understanding of DID. Through the years, Laura and I have spent sooooo many hours and hours and hours talking about DID. It seems that we’ve sat at a hundred coffee shops, evening after evening after evening, talking about the complications of dissociation, mind control, and DID. I’m telling you, we’ve had some chats! And believe me, I’ve checked her out THOROUGHLY !!!
I know without a doubt, that Laura is a safe person. I know that she understands DID.
And she’s here to help.
If you want or need a quick and professional response to your clinical or personal question, Laura will be your go-to person.
Laura isn’t here for Customer Service type emails. She’s here to provide professional Clinical Consultations — questions that require a DID expert response. Laura is an Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and she is here in that capacity.
Many of you have written in to Discussing Dissociation and asked some very big, very serious questions about your personal situations. Many of these emails are far beyond the scope of what can be responded to accurately in a quick email response. You deserve a real response — something written with serious consideration and professional care.
SO… to address this situation, I’ve brought in Laura to help.
This page, DID Email Consultations with Laura should help explain what Laura is here to do.
Laura has written an About Me page for you to read as well.
AND…. While we’re at it…. I’m gonna let y’all find out more about Laura for yourselves. I’ve mentioned Laura’s arrival quietly in the Email Newsletter, and she has started with her twitter account, which some of you have seen, @DIDexpertEmail.
But many of you may not have known she was on the way. (Hint hint — if you were on the newsletter list, you would have known this already…. !! )
Anyway, since Laura is new to you, you will probably want to get to know her.
So if you have any questions for Laura, please write them in the Comments below, and Laura will be happy to write a response.
Meanwhile, let’s all welcome Laura to our Community.
Thanks!
We BOTH wish you the best in your healing journey.
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2021 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
So glad to be able to connect to the posts from the recent past here, to get to know you Laura, and to feel even more of a part of the DD community!! The interaction that is welcomed and possible here is a VERY BIG part of our learning what safety is, that it is possible, and that we can take steps to get to keep ourselves safe!! THANK YOU SO MUCH for all you do for all of us!!!
If he doesn’t believe in D.i. D then what did he give you for a diagnosis ? If he doesn’t believe incest happen , what is he saying happens? Most importantly why his he not believing you? I would question why he doesn’t believe ? Then tell him you want a second opinion. I would also call the insurance company and ask them for a recommendation Of who to see in their network. I would never stay with someone that didnt believe in who we are and what we are about.
Welcome Laura. I have been reading for weeks but have never posted. I have a psychiatrist who doesn’t believe in d.i.d. so l haven’t had therapy in years. He just gives me meds which l take to deal with the pain of my life. I have been on long term disability for a decade. I was incested longterm as a child by both parents. When
my marriage became abusive to the point that l believed threats of murder l left and moved back with my parents with my child until l could get back on my feet. They went behind my back and got ex parte custody behind my back. I tried to get custody back but no one at the social workers or police believed me that l was incested by my parents. I didn’t talk to them for a long time because they mixed lies and truths so they could raise my child.She is an adult now 19 but in university and still lives with them. I am in bad debt and run out of food and money for about 2 weeks per month cuz l am on disability from when l worked half time. I need to continue to dissociate because l choose to keep my parents in my life because l get more and more pleasant time with my daughter when l make nice to my parents. It is so triggering for me. But the kinder l am to my parents the kinder they treat my daughter. I can’t afford to pay for a 2 Brm apt. or food for 2. So l could offer her a safe place to live. I don’t know how l will pay my rent or beginning of month bills. I am single (lonterm divorced) and have no friends or anyone ( esp. Not my q 3 monthly with no therapy -psychiatrist) l still haven’t completely helped all my parts deal with their traumas. I believe it is why l am chronically depressed and self harm. I am so in debt and overdrawn and not allowed a credit card. I can’t afford individual help by email or phone or signing up for any package. I live in Canada. My medical insurance would cover a psychiatrist in Canada like it pays for my current one. But if there is one who specializes in d.i.d. l would change. My current shrink sometimes goads me on saying he doesn’t
believe my parents incested me.
laura, welcome! it truly is amazing to have two did therapists working together. i’ve been visiting this blog for 6 if the 7 years i’ve been in therapy for did. it has been a huge blessing to me, in the beginning, and now to all of us.
my community feels safe to visit and read; kathy has created this incredible foundation of care, love and support. her compassion for those of us with did is exceptional. when i would leave therapy, i would need a place to go to get answers. this was it! we, those of us with did, are the ones who benefit from your partnership! kathy says over and over how happy she is, but we are the ones who reap the benefits of your presence.
we have crazy trust issues, people have hurt us, as children and adults. we know how hard it is to fit in and be cared for. we want to say welcome and we are happy you are here, too!
Ok, hi.
Thanks for the welcome Molly! I’m so glad you’ve found a therapist who has been so helpful and willing to learn.
Thanks for being here Laura! I’ve been seeing my therapist here in TX for almost 3yrs. She didn’t have much experience but she was brave enough to take us on. She had other therapist she knew that helped her a lot as they have been helping DID clients for a long time. It took years to find her but we’re glad we did. Next week she’s speaking at the TCA 61st annual conference. Guess what she’s teaching about? DID! It’s mind blowing to see a professional like her, yourself and Kathy that truly care. So from all of us…. Thank you. You have no idea what you’re doing for those like us. It’s beyond words and greatly appreciated.
That sounds great Lee! Good luck with your presentation. 🙂
Thank you Laura!
Hi all!
Okay so about my dilemma with my non-believing professor. I may have a solution. It may not solve the problem altogether but at the very least, it may bring awareness to the problem that we with DID struggle with concerning professionals (medical, therapeutic, academia, etc.) who do not believe in DID or its existence.
One of my requirements for graduation is doing a poster presentation at my state level ACA (American Counseling Association) conference. My proposal was approved, my paper had been written (which was on society and eating disorders), and I was in the process of working on my poster. There was one problem: for the life of me, I just could not get my poster to flow. It just did not feel right. So I thought back to my time as an undergrad on what was difficult about research and what made research enjoyable. The answer was when I was able to research a topic that I was passionate about, the research flowed and I enjoyed it so much more than research some boring topic. Yes, I think eating disorders is an important topic but not something I am passionate about.
So I have decided to chuck my poster on eating disorders and follow where my passion is, which is what I know, and that is DID. When I was an undergrad, I had another non-believing professor in my intro psych class. I had to write an opinion paper on DID based off of a movie. She told me in bright red letters that until I had my Ph.D. like she did, I had no right to diagnosis. What, I thought this was an opinion paper. So the next writing assignment was to actually write about a diagnosis, and yes I chose DID. This time, I wrote about the evolution of DID and why it was so controversial. Although I had already been diagnosed with DID at this point, I learned a lot about DID. I found it very validating, that I really wasn’t crazy for what I was experiencing, and the main thing was she gave me a good grade because I proved my point. Okay so living with DID does help a tad too!
I figure by doing my poster on DID, particular the misconceptions and how that can affect clients with DID … see you all are helping me find my starting point already. I think this is probably the most appropriate way to handle the situation with my non-believing professor. Now my next goal is to start researching several current (5yrs or less to make my research credible) peer-reviewed articles.
Now I feel inspired.
Hi Lee,
I so very much want to shout … “AWESOME IDEA LEE — GO FOR IT!!!” But, my cautious self wants to ask you to take a few seconds to think about this idea first in light of your degree requirements. Okay, where I am coming from is this — I teach at a university so I know all about the egos, hierarchy, rules, boxes that everyone is put into (students, staff and faculty) and the need of some faculty to have their students follow in lock-step with the conventional wisdom of them (the “Sage on the Stage” whose word is unquestionably the one and only way to truth). I know that you also cannot make the intellectually deaf hear (well, sometimes but there is an entrenched mentality in academia that is hard to break through).
What I am saying here is, you say, “My proposal was approved, my paper had been written …” and that the poster presentation is a requirement for completing your degree. So, I just want to make sure that changing your topic at this point is not going to affect the completion of your degree requirements if the new topic has not been approved or is going to be graded (and may lead to backlash if your professor does not agree with the topic). As much as the topic on DID is more exciting to you, please think strategically/politically to ensure that there is nothing the faculty/department can use to stop you from completing your degree requirements. That is the most important goal here — getting your degree completed so you can blow your old professors out of the water with the amazing work that you are going to do with your clinic and what you will do with your expertise, compassion and passion for helping folks with DID.
Just my thoughts.
Hi Me+We!
I apologize that I am just now seeing your response. I appreciate your insight. Since I originally thought about doing a poster on DID, well that, of course, has changed. For some of the very reasons which you have stated. Not that this would be an absolute of happening of being kicked out, just because after the last semester with Mr.Non-believing professor, I decided that maybe doing a poster on DID wouldn’t be in my best interest. Yes, info on DID needs to be put out there for clinicians but after this last semester, I decided I just need to pick smaller battles and conquer them instead. The non-believing professor is not my advisor, which is the one who would have to give the approval.
My advisor (who has also been my professor, and another professor, (both whom I like), both know my background work has included working with DID clients. They both interviewed me when I applied for grad school. Neither of them knows I have DID because I haven’t disclosed it. They know I have a good bit of trauma because of all the reflective papers I have to write on whatever subject I am taking and how that has applied in my life.
So I am back at square one on what to do my poster on. I had something happen recently that may actually be worthwhile. I saw a pulmonologist for some breathing issues I was having. I think it is connected to stress I was having last semester. I was extremely triggered in her office (I waited almost an hour in the exam room with the door shut). When she finally came in, I was standing with my back to the wall because I was hurting. She had a mask hanging around her neck (that was extremely triggering) and she had a white coat on (another trigger for me). She was very intrusive and insensitive. How she would touch me was putting me more on guard. She listened to my lungs but then she started touching my lower stomach. I have no idea why she felt the need to touch my lower stomach. I pushed her hand away and when she asked me if it hurt, I told her no that I have PTSD. I never disclose I have DID unless it is necessary. I had to tell her on 3 or 4 separate occasions that I have PTSD and she still did not get it, even after she asked me why I have PTSD. Her end conclussion was I have asthma (which I disagree with). I told her I thought it was due to stress and some auto-immune stuff I have going on. But she was totally focused on me having asthma. She began telling me what I was going to do because she thought best and not once did she ask me what I thought or how I felt about various procedures. She wanted me to come back for a breathing test. Needless to say, I did not schedule that appointment.
I had asked my regular physician (who has been great and knows I have DID, and some of my medical triggers) to collaborate with the pulmonologist before I saw her. After my appointment with the pulmonologist, I don’t think my regular physician spoke with her. So, this made me think about the need for collaboration between medical professionals and mental health professionals in providing care for patients with histories of trauma. I had a chance to speak with a nurse practitioner (who is also an assistant dean) at the place I volunteer about the topic of collaboration between mental health professionals and medical professionals for better care. She told me that there is a lot of research out there on this subject and she even does research in this area. Talk about finding a gem! She was very encouraging how much this needs to be addressed.
So that is what I am considering at this point (it may change again) of doing my poster presentation on. And honestly, this would be a good step forward towards doing more research on trauma in relation to mental health/medical care.
Lee
Hi All,
Was thinking about Lee’s dilemma in a graduate school course where the professor does not believe in DID and Laura’s affirmation that she has had a similar experience. This frustrates the heck out of me – DID not being believed. This is especially troublesome when you are first diagnosed and go looking for information on DID. There is a lot of garbage out there, misinformation, strange ideas/solutions and out-right denial that DID exists. It is hard enough when you get this from family and friends (i.e., denial that DID exists) if you have been brave enough to tell folks (I have only done this with a very small selection of friends just recently). Such denial of the existence of DID is hard to encounter as you are trying to find credible information about just what the heck is going on with you. It is especially destructive if, like me, you go through a period of denial. For well over a year, I was all too willing to believe that DID did not exist and that I was having false memories. Eventually, you stop and listen to your mind, heart and gut and know that it is true.
But, I thought that I might contribute some pointers to resources here that I found helpful.
* Well, I have to start off with here of course. Kathy has been the one place where I have found, not only solid information about DID, but a compassionate, informative and hands-on helpful approach to DID.
* Dr. Collin A. Ross has done the academic/medical research to back up his belief that DID does exist. Google the video: “Extreme Skeptics About DID: Why They Are Wrong.” This is a segment of a longer lecture that is also available. Bottom line, he gives a scathing and brilliant take-down of the critics that say that DID does not exist.
*The International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation. The web site has some information and a ton of references that can be looked into if you want to make a study of this. The online article — “Guidelines for Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder in Adults, Third Revision” is the standard for professionals working with DID folks.
* Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). I find it curious how controversy remains around DID when the professional standard for the identification, diagnosis and treatment of psychological/psychiatric conditions (written by professionals in the field) lists DID.
* Dr. Bessel van der Kolk is a leading researcher in trauma. He has a great FaceBook page: “The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.” Not DID specific but a lot of great articles and links on trauma.
Keep true to yourselves folks. You know DID is real.
Hi ME+WE!
That’s some good insight.
Lee
Lee,
We want to add some encouragement as well. As a system, one of the best therapists we ever have worked with also is multiple. Her compassion and understanding can not be left undenied.
Sometimes as a multiple, we have to sucke it up and understand that not everyone agrees that DID is real. We could have a serious conversation just surrounding that issue alone.
We have had to swallow our words from time to time just to be able to get through something. Sometimes talking it out has helped gain the recipient of knowledge about DID, sometimes not.
The important thing is you know the truth. Whether the other person does or not is their problem.
We know a seasoned psychologist who would be happy to have a conversation with you about this.
Thank you for your willingness to be in the field.
Hi, Participating Parts! Thanks for the encouragement and yes, I am happy that you have an awesome person to work with that understands what living with DID is like. My therapist doesn’t have DID but has been a trooper about learning what it is like for me. Your right about sometimes having a serious conversation about the misconceptions could really clear up a lot of confusion between DID and other disorders.
I definitely relate to learning to keep my mouth shut, especially in graduate school. The important thing is to just write the papers and turn them in. Trying to prove my point in class does not work at all. Had a great and difficult teaching lesson on that in my first semester of graduate school. Being called in my advisor’s office was not something wanted.
I would love to have a conversation with a seasoned psychologist.
Hi Lee –
I can understand your frustration. Listening to new therapists being taught that kind of incorrect information can just make you want to throw something. The professor in my DSM/diagnosis class didn’t believe in DID either! He and I had some words about that.
Having DID is not actually cause to be thrown out of your program, any more than if they learned you had depression or a less complex version of PTSD. I’m willing to bet you aren’t the only survivor in your graduate class!
And yet, I can empathize with your fear. DID feels like it will be more of an issue if people were to learn about it. And sadly, in some cases it would probably be treated like more of an issue. Rather than the rational approach of assessing whether an individual is far enough along in their healing to make it safe for them to counsel others (and I hope you are!), DID can evoke more of a witch hunt response. And since you don’t know what kind of response you will get, of course you can’t risk letting anyone know about it.
There’s definitely lots of room for growth and education in the field.
I think a treatment center run by someone who understands the needs of survivors the way you do would be a wonderful asset to have available!
Hi Laura,
Thanks for the feedback! I know I’m not the only survivor in the classroom, research has been pretty solid over the years about the ratio for survivors. You’re right, I’m not sure what type of response I would get from my professors, and it’s just not worth the risk. Last year, I told one classmate that I had known for a long time that is in my program that I thought I could trust. Afterward, she became very distanced from me and eventually avoided me altogether. I decided never to tell another person in my real life unless it was a therapist I was seeing.
First, just to let you know, yes I have made great progress in my healing, not complete but yes huge improvement from where I was even 4 years ago. I have done a lot of hard, difficult work in therapy because I knew one day the practicum was going to come and I wanted to be in a much better place not only as an individual but also as a clinician for my clients.
About this non-believing professor, I told him I wanted to open up a treatment center for severe trauma in the area I live because there is nothing here. He was all for it and even told me, “ABSOLUTELY, you should!” He even said he could help connect me to the right people who would be a great support for me to start a center.
I recently took the COMP exam, and so if I pass, then I only have 3 semesters left to deal with Mr. Non-believing professor. I think it would be very ironic to have a treatment center for DID that students from the university where I attend could do their practicum/internship at. That would mean they would have to turn in their case study/reports to Mr. Non-believing professor because guess who is the director of the counseling program? Yep, him!
Hi Lee. If I may jump in here … I want to first commend you for wanting to make this your life’s work and secondly, I want to tell you that some of the most close-minded and stupid people that I have ever met are teaching at universities. I have worked at several big universities and I have learned that having a whole bunch of degrees behind your name does not make you smart.
On a practical note. check out Dr. Colin A. Ross (actually, someone that Kathy worked with I think). He has the research to back up his belief in DID as real. There is a great two-hour plus video of one of his lectures that I think that you will get a lot out of.
Hang in there and just hold on to your truth.
Hi ME+WE! Thanks for the encouragement. It’s always been in my heart to be a therapist, I just didn’t know if it was possible until I came across books where the author also had DID and were also therapists as well. Gave me hope that I can do this.
Welcome. I would love to consult with a fellow clinician in the field. I have DID but I am also in graduate school hopefully starting my practicum in the spring. My dream has been to become a therapist but to also open a trauma treatment center because I know first hand how poor the mental health treatment is for individuals with DID. Even my current professor in my diagnosis class doesn’t believe in DID yet is teaching this class. It is frustrating to have to sit in “silence” and listen to his garbage. I can’t risk coming out because that may cause me to be thrown out of graduate school. Thank you for stepping up to provide a much-needed service.
@All the Jill People
It does sound like you’ve been going through a really rough time. Even from this little bit mentioned, I can imagine the fear and tension of making such a huge change. A squirrel party sounds like a lot of fun, but I’m sure it was NOT easy to make that happen. That’s some good work! \o/ (< that's a little guy cheering for you.) I look forward to getting to know you all better as time goes on. 🙂
I’m fine now. I think. I have been going through something extraordinarily difficult. My littles are exceptionally vulnerable. Lots happening in my system for the good!
So, speaking of change, oh my! Even turning something completely around from the worse thing that could have actually happened to something wonderful was HARD for my system! Changing a Birthday from what was supposed to be the end of my life and much more into a huge squirrel party, Wow!
Yes! Change is exceptionally hard.
You are right, my system knows Kathy has no intentions of harm in any way. She would not place any harm in our way.
My littles are recuperating from a very wild and crazy 😜 thing.. plus we recently have made a system decision to end a relationship that was special to us.
We have been through a lot.
My system is very dedicated to keep on the road. Healing isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.
Hi everyone!
@Wren – I agree, dates on the posts would be very helpful!
I think I’ll get started on a blog post about things I like to do. 🙂 I have a different post already written that I think should be coming up soon! But I think this would be a good subject for my second post.
@Tirza – That’s an amazing story! It sounds like you’ve done some good hard work, and I really like that you’ve created a safe and supportive environment for yourself through your healing. Inspirational – thank you!
@Participating Parts and ME+WE – hello to you both! 🙂
@The Jill People and others out there reading who might not have said anything but who feel the same way –
I’m sorry that this change is so scary.
I know you don’t know me, you do know Kathy, so you already know that she won’t do anything hurtful or unsafe, and she definitely isn’t going away.This is still her place and it always will be her place. She can’t go away because this is her place! I don’t want her to go away either. But I do think she could use a little help, like everyone can use a little help sometimes. 🙂
Kathy and I have known each other for a very long time. I don’t think she would let just any old person come in to her place to help her. I feel pretty honored that she is letting me help, because I know how fussy she is about who she trusts. She is very careful and protective of all of you.
Change is always so hard and scary, but I hope you will wait and see what happens. I will do my best to help you get to know me better. And remember that you can ask me any questions you want to!
I think once we have all had time to check everything out, this might turn into something very cool for all of us. 🙂
Oh my Tirza. What a wonderful post. You sound like you are building a supportive and cooperative relationship with your insiders. I so needed to hear that this is possible (not just an illusion that I am living). I hope that you have found someone else to work with. Your post is so full of hope. I am so thankful that you shared your story with us.
welcome Laura and congratulations Kathy for finding someone to help you.
you know.. when i started my recovery many years ago i made a decision that i wanted to learn what it meant to work together. I met a psychiatrist who really understood me but he was part of a team in a clinic. i needed to be on the ward several times and i met a creative therapist there. she wanted to work with me from home and i tried to work there without the others inside me and without talking about them . but you guessed it probably right… that never worked. it did when i made that decision and told her: everything he knows about me, you will know too and it’s up to me to make sure that you two know the same things about me and all the others inside. i did that on the ward too, i started to talk openly, to make it a safe place to work through issues with the others inside me,not everybody understood or wanted to know but gradually their understanding grew and i feel blessed that all the pain i felt there, all the desperation and long hours, constantly making a decision to keep talking and keep explaining eventually helped and gave me the opportunity to teach them as well and give better help to the next person with did who would walk through those doors. and you know… working outside together was a big stepping stone towards working inside together. it build my confidence and the confidence that the others have in me that yes i can live this life and yes i know what to do when and it gave me the feeling back to be in control of my own life . my psychiatrist is retired for a few months now and that’s hard because i still have a lot of work to do but i can search for somebody else whilst feeling that there are people around me who are supportive, who know what i’m going through, where i can just be me, and who can i ask to help me through the tough bits.
i guess i am telling you this because although it was so scary to trust more than one person, like giving the keys to your house to someone and having to trust that they won’t break in.. it was also so helpful. for me and for the others inside, but also for the group of people outside, it reassured me that taking this on together made sure that no one got overwhelmed, that holidays were always covered and it gave me so much room to learn and grow.
and that is what i am hoping for you too. that this will be something that will really work out, and give you support in all the good work you are doing.
Welcome, Laura!
Hello! Well, so you get to meet all these new people including us who are being involved in something pretty big, huh?
Well done! There isn’t enough true support out there. Very few who knows anything about DID.
More help for Kathy! Maybe some more stuff can get published here now. How about it? Huh?
We are very pleased to meet you.
U pwomised kafy. 😥😰😱
Hi, hi, hi All the Jill People littles. One of my little ones wanted me to send you a message so I am speaking her words for her. Don’t be scared. We are scared too. We don’t like change. No one hears. No one sees. No one cares. But Kathy hears. Kathy sees. Kathy cares. And we do not want her to go away. But she is not going away She is still going to be here for us. She told us so. Kathy does not lie to us like all of the others. She does not hurt us like all of the others. She has been here for us always and she is going to stay right here for us. Maybe one of your bigger insiders can help you understand. Tom my big brover helps me. I keep telling myself Kathy is not going away, Kathy is not going away, Kathy is not going away. Maybe you can tell yourself that. Kathy be there for us. We can all be friends together maybe.
kafy pwomis to no do sompin. u ask kafy bout tat. 😥 we no wike em nu pepl. Em no wik it at all.
I’m still here, Little Jill Peoples…
I’m not going away.
I’m not throwing anyone away — not at all.
Laura will be here to help and be on our team and be part of our group, and to do good things too. This is one PLUS one equals more goodness. It’s not one takes away one leaving nothing. NOPE. None of that. None of that take away stuff. Only adding in more good people.
I’ll still be here as much as ever. 🙂
And Laura is a safe and friendly person. She’s okay to have here, even tho’ she only has a cat and no dogs. 🙂 But you can just watch her for a bit if you wanna. You don’t gotta do anything you don’t wanna do.
I’ll still be here. I’m not going away.
Gentle hugs,
Kathy
Hello.
I am glad you’re here. I wish there were dates on these posts. It gets confusing. What if I find something I would like to add a reply to but the discussion was months ago? I lose time as it is and it’s hard not knowing what is current and what is old.
I would enjoy hearing what you do outside of work. That might be reassuring.
I’m at the beginning of trying to make my way with all of this. This place is both validating and frightening. For me it’s a good thing to have another person here to maybe answer some questions or write articles that help.
Welcome!
Amen to Wrens comment about having dates on comments. This blog can be a very challenging place to visit when you are sensitive about time. And I really need this blog as a resource right now.
Hi Alex,
I am so glad you are here and have found this wonderful resource and that you have jumped in to the comments/conversations. I am new at this myself – jumping into commenting. I clung to this website for three years for support, information and the voices of others with DID before I found the courage to speak myself. I hope that you feel comfortable to lend your voice to these pages and to ask questions along the way. We are here to help one another.
And, I really hear you when you talk about being “sensitive to time.” WOW … don’t we all know what that is about. When time has been so out of control for us it feels oh so essential to feel that we have some sense of “time” to feel safe. I can really relate to that. I am very obsessed in my everyday life with “time”. I continually need to know what time it is, what day it is, where I am, etc. Heck, when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I have to walk over to the clock to see what time it is before I can get back into bed.
I agreed with Wren about dates on the comments and felt that that would really be a good thing. But, the other night when I could not sleep (a frequent occurrence), I started to think about this issue and I came to a very different conclusion. I think that it is best that we do not know when a blog was posted or a comment made. I say this for a couple of reasons.
* This is a really safe and caring place to practice not being obsessively concerned about time. Maybe it is good for me to be in an environment where time does not matter, I do not have to feel that I need to control time, and I will not be punished if I get confused, out of order or not in control of myself in a time-sense-of-things. A safe place where I can say, “I’m lost can someone help me?” and know that I will be heard.
* Now, there are practical concerns with following strings of discussions/comments and we have discussed ways to help us in that regard (check out the comments under the topic “20 Types of Dissociative Splits”). The expanded list of comments on the side bar is really helpful I find (thank you whoever came up with that change). There are ways to manage the timeless space of this website. We just have to stop, take a few deep breaths and try and take in the experience of time-free existence
.
* Maybe it is a good thing that we do not know when a blog article was written or when a particular comment was posted. That way we will not be editing ourselves and our comments. If the comment that we are reading was posted yesterday, last month or several years ago, its impact on us has not diminished with time. And, if we feel a desire to respond to what has been said, it really does not matter if the discussion/comment is current or not. I have found that, in the past couple of weeks, folks posting on articles and comments to articles has brought these ideas to my attention again or for the first time, has revitalized a discussion that may have been silent for some time, and has brought new life to Kathy’s words and that of my DID friends here. The originator of the comment may not still be active here but their thoughts and words are and that is all that matters. And, our comments may not speak to another DID friend tomorrow, next week or next month, but it may be just the words that someone next year or two years from now or three … needs to hear.
What I am saying is that, this is our opportunity to find freedom from time, to embrace the flow of life unencumbered by time, and to just let our hearts, minds and spirits speak to whatever they want to.
No rules!
No punishments!
No worries about time!
Hello again, and thanks to those of you who have commented so far!
I appreciate the welcomes. 🙂
@All the Jill People – You don’t need to apologize for being nervous and unsure about a new person and a big change in a familiar support system. To tell you the truth, I’m a little nervous about it too, because it’s also something new for me. Just take your time with it and see how it goes. I hope that my joining Kathy here will make Discussing Dissociation a better and stronger support overall, but it will be your own experiences that determine that for you.
To the Jill People and anyone else reading – please feel free to ask me anything you’d like to know!
@Astrie and her littles – yes, I am American. 🙂 And I do love dogs, and I’d love to have a dog! But I don’t have one right now. I am not home enough to be a good dog mom. I do have a cat who thinks he’s a dog though! He loves cuddles and he greets me at the door when I get home, just like a dog would. I’m pretty sure I could even teach him to walk on a leash. Most cats do not like to be on a leash. Have you ever seen a cat on a leash?? 🙂
I’ll be contributing to Kathy’s blog here and there to help you all get to know me better.
Maybe I should write a post about some of the things I like to do outside of work? What do you all think about that?
And what other questions or subjects would you like to know more about?
You can also follow me on twitter (@DIDexpertEmail). I can’t answer anything serious in 140 characters, of course, but it’s another way we can interact a little, and another way to keep an eye on me and see what kinds of things I do.
I look forward to chatting with you!
We are cautiously optimistic lol. My little’s want to know “is hers amemimcan?” I.e are you american hahahaha. They ask the most random things sometimes. And they also wanna know do you like dogs like Kathy does? Do you have a big brave dog like she does?
Anyway, welcome, hope you have ‘fun?” hahaha
Welcome Laura. Thank you for being willing to take on this role. I’m sure it’s going to be a fantastic success! I look forward to introducing you to our system when we get the chance. Best wishes.
All the Jill people have already told Kathy what we think. It’s going to sound like we don’t appreciate another person on board the Kathy team. We just know Kathy and there can’t be another Kathy.
To us, it feels like we are getting booted and YIKES! Don’t like that. Gosh. But Gesh. We also know Kathy doesn’t justness write email after email either. So.. guess we just have to deal, right?
Anyways that just sounds like a whole lot of complaining…
sorry 😥
Welcome Laura! ME+WE have wondered just how Kathy ever manages the task of keeping this bog/website going. We are so very thankful to have this amazing resource for information, empathy, companionship and fun (yes I am starting to explore some of the fun resources). It is wonderful that Kathy now has such a knowledgeable and compassionate colleague to share some of the load (read your bio). Many of us have trust issues so it may take a little time for us ALL to get to know you but we thoroughly trust and adore Kathy so we know that she would not bring someone into help that she did not think was as wonderful as she is. This blog/website is a beacon of light for many of us lost out there in the darkness of DID. We need you and sincerely thank you Laura for taking this task on.