Everyone I’ve ever met with Dissociative Identity Disorder has a variety of child parts.
While these child parts can be beautiful little souls, the sad and heartbreaking part of the need to have so many child parts is how this represents the amount of trauma, chaos, and conflict experienced as a child.
Having numerous child parts makes a clear and distinct statement about how you did not get your emotional, physical, and safety needs met. Your basic human needs were very much left unmet.
To make a painful situation even worse, all too many child parts were forced to manage highly painful, complicated, gruesome, and distasteful experiences all on their own.
It’s incredibly difficult for an adult to get through these traumatic events. It’s truly distressing to think of young children needing to manage on their own.
And no wonder you learned to split.
No wonder you learned to separate from your body.
No wonder you learned to block out the awareness of such painful events from your mind.
Be proud of yourself — and your kids — for surviving such massively difficult times.
Now that you have deeper appreciation for your child parts, what can you do to help them feel better?
Have you been struggling for answers?
Do you know what to do now?
Here are 5 quick tips for you and your system to follow:
- Find your inner kids, and move them to a safer place than any inside place representing trauma, darkness, or fear. Move them to safety, and far away from any place controlled by darkness.
- Look at your little ones, and tend immediately to their basic human needs — give them tasty food, cool water, warmth, comfy clothing, reliable shelter, the opportunity to be clean and to remove all the dirt and muck. Do these things in BOTH the inside and the outside worlds.
- Protect and buffer your inside kids from others inside or outside who hurt, threaten, terrify, or bully your littles.
- Comfort your inner children with the kindness, caring, tenderness, acceptance, gentleness, and warmth.
- Introduce new activities, new opportunities, new possibilities that are fun, safe, exciting, creative, interesting, etc. Let your kids be kids who can enjoy a world full of incredible and amazing adventures.
And do this process over and over, and over again, with each and every child part. Help EVERY one of your inner kids to feel good, to feel positive, to feel safe, to feel okay…
Yep, over and over again, for every child inside. Leave no one behind face down in the muck.
Remember — until your inner children are feeling adequately tended to, they will be in pain, and you will feel their pain.
Your inside kids need to be away from all harm and have their needs genuinely met. The abuse and neglect must end, including on the inside.
Let the pain held by your child parts be lifted by giving them everything they needed through the years, but didn’t get. Give them their Corrective Emotional Experiences.
I have good news to share.
I’ve been asked repeatedly about resources for child parts as there are few options available.
So many dissociative folks have child parts still sitting in pain, locked in place, or lost and not found. Or, while you may have every intention to help the kids you know, you may still have many questions about how to manage this better.
It IS possible to help your kids. It IS possible to teach the kids how to play nicely, how to smile, how to laugh, how to enjoy the day. Your kids can experience safety, comfort, and healing.
The resources I’m developing will help you with that.
Workbooks and email resources for DID Kids will be available soon !
Stay in touch — join the email community — come back and read often. Be sure to stay tuned for when these resources become available for you.
Until then…. work with your kids each day. They need your help, and you’ll all feel better as you join together in your healing process.
Copyright © 2008-2017 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation