Your Input Needed ASAP re: Your Knowledge about DID

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1. A Dissociative Man says

   February 17, 2017 at 7:08 pm

   I’m posting this comment for someone else. I promise I am not the dissociative man !!!

   This part here is from “A Dissociative Man” — written by him, not me. 🙂

   1: I don’t think so, I have been knocked out for surgery and at least one other,”Tony.” Was awake.

   2:one of them saves me in emergencies. For example one night while driving home from work, I blurred out. Unknown to me a wreak on a bridge had left a pool of oil. Witnesses told me my truck spun in a perfect stunt circle atop the bridge then effortlessly kept on driving true straight and normal. As for handwriting, my writing looks like a kids. Other writing changes drastically, in fact it looks like a machine micro wrote.

   3:I saw some of them as a toddler,and as a child. Other than that I heard them played with one,”David.” And now late at night in my sleep I wake inside and am with them or see them in my room.

   4: I have no idea, they just are?

   5: ? They seem to be based origanlly on my brothers sisters, and people I was around a lot.

   6: for me, everything blurs, it can feel like inside your head is a fishbowl and you are a small fish, feeling another or larger fish swim past you. It can be like you fall or shrink to nothing’s ng inside, there can be intense headaches or it can be like you are watching someone else outside you doing stuff.

   7: a lot of fear very early, a lot of confusion. Finding myself placed inches from danger when I wake and being punished for maybe attempted killing self? Being called crazy or losing all knowledge about how to do a job. Once I tried to join the army at age 17. I hit a blurred time then lost time. I woke to find a Sargent screaming in my ear asking if I had urinated all over my paperwork? I said no, only to discover said paperwork was dripping urine. The color vision test was horrible, I told what I saw, only the inductee person got mad and said I had totally failed and had lied? I woke with a killer headache and was told they wanted me to see a doctor. I never went back. Then there are the times someone comes up to you, clamping you by a diffrent name, doing things you never do, like go out to dance at a street party or ride motorcycles or climb heights. Then there is the unthinkable horror of waking in bed with a stranger. Yeah it can suck very badly!!!!

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2. Ashton says

   February 17, 2017 at 10:37 am

   Q: “What is the connection between an individual who has D.I.D. and their alters? (Which is a pretty vague question)

   To give you more of an insight on our purpose question, we believe that the aspects of which the individual who has DID doesn’t have are represented through their alters. For example, if a shy child was sexually abused, they could have a rebellious alter.”

   A: The whole DID experience isn’t about having a “real” individual who has alters. It’s that one person is made of many different personas. Together, they make a whole. For some, when these alters “integrate,” or fuse together, they feel completely whole. Others do not. So to say that the aspects of which the individual doesn’t have are represented through their alters, is technically a false statement of itself, because the individual IS their alters. There is no “real” identity, plus alters. There may be a “host,” or a “default” to which most people go back for chief or everyday functioning, though. The idea behind your thoughts on this are, however, not entirely misguided. People do tend to develop alters which are drastically different from what others might see as that person’s “normal” self, but alters do not have have to be opposites of what the “host” is. They can be simply different. This is because alters typically develop as a result of some sort of trauma or suppressed mental/emotional state. And typically the suppressed mental/emotional state wouldn’t be suppressed to begin with if it were not considered forbidden or unacceptable.

   Q: What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

   A:This is a tricky question. It would probably affect them in the sense that some alters may or may not be more inclined to “come forward.” I developed alters as a result of being unable to fuse different parts of my mind into a single identity, or rather being able to experience a multitude of emotions or mindsets at the same time. Each therefore has a distinct personality trait and worldview.. The alter which had a personality consisting of the emotinal/mental state most targeted by that psychotropic medication, would be less likely to appear. For example, I have an alter that is incredibly shy, scared, and jumpy. If Given anti-depressant (which tends to increase anxiety) this would heighten the possibility that she would appear, for the second that I started to feel that way, my brain would automatically switch to her.

   Q: Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

   A: Absolutely. I have one alter who is exceptionally better at mathematics and chess, and another who is exceptional at grammar, etc.

   Q: How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

   A: I discovered mine by more or less shifting into what felt like a state of possession or that I was in someone else’s skin. This happened often enough that they developed a name for their own selves. I have 5. This one that’s writing, (host) and her name’s Ashton. Then there are four more: Maki, Marie, Lexi, and another which doesn’t have a name yet.

   Q: How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

   A: Mine don’t really change. They may or may not make an appearance as often. More are usually added as time goes on, however.

   Q: How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

   A: A person’s past is typically the cause of the alters’ existence to begin with. Each alter’s behaviour pattern is a direct response to something he/she experienced in their past, or is experiencing in the present.

   Q: What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

   A: There’s really no such thing as “summoning.” You can, in a sense, “open the door” for them to show up, but sometimes they won’t, or can’t. It’s usually out of our control. Some alters resist others or try to prevent the others from showing up; some are friends with each other, and some are enemies and try to fight against each other. So attempting to get one to show up usually doesn’t work, at least for me. There may be others who are able to do this, I do not know. There can be psycho-social stressors and triggers. For example, if I get frightened, I will automatically switch into the alter which is most likely to best handle that situation. Or if I watch a movie depicting an abusive situation similar to what i have experienced, then another might show up. Sometimes there is no trigger whatsoever.

   Q: How is the individual impacted by this condition?

   A: In every way. It’s something you more or less have to hide, because of the stigma associated with it. because of movies like Sybil, Hide and Seek, and most recently, Split, people tend to associate the condition with either danger or fascination. The truth is DID is not as obvious as you might think it would be. Most people who don’t know you would see it as maybe a mood shift.

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3. Sara Grace says

   February 17, 2017 at 8:57 am

   I’m not sure if this is to late to post … I wanted to respond to your questions. I haven’t because I was scared. I was diognosed with DID less than a year ago. It’s all new to me and it’s very hard to except. I often just wish they would go away. I don’t know a lot like the others, but maybe you might learn something from me “us”. I have had issues with medication a few times. I fell backwards and blacked out on the floor after taking my regular medications 3times. It felt like a overdose but I hadn’t overdosed on anything. I have been getting hives and welts all over my body. I have been to drs, tried benedril, and avoided certian foods trying to get rid of them. I realized it was an alter with the hives because the medicines never worked, it wasn’t related to food, or soap or anything. I get hives and huge welts always in the same places…It’s weird how that can happen. My vision changes, some alters don’t need glasses like I do. Everyone has an opinion on what to eat, wear, and how our hair should be worn. My therapist can tell one of my alters because she always twirls her hair..and another because of how she does her hair. I am embarrassed later cause I went out in public with braides looking like Laura on little house on the prairie…Lol.. I have had a hard time trying to figure out what to eat. Lately it’s been lunchables. I go to the store and come home with 5 gallons of icecream, candy, really nothing nutritiously important. I have to be careful because we have alters with eating disorders so I eat a strict low cal diet with no fast-food. My child alters would like McDonald’s everyday if they could. They eat a lot less than the others or myself. They can’t eat even a half a cheese burger. I come home from the store and I have things I would not have purchased like…Boys clothes, shoes in the wrong size, toys stuffed animals…The list goes on. I can’t decide on a favorite color either..I can’t decide on anything. This is the tough part of DID that I’m having trouble with. It’s hard for me to be in control, I feel like I’m just a passenger and never the driver. I switch often and my therapist says most people aren’t going to notice that I just look moody. It makes me tired and I get a headache often. I have had a very traumatic past that has left me severing ties with my family. This is the only reason I am getting healthy and happier. They do not know I have DID. They would probably think that it was funny..There just cruel like that. I have problems remembering things people told me I said. I thought that they were lying but i now know I was dissociating. I switch the most when I’m scared or angry. I don’t know how to Controll it. I get funny smells like smoking, in my therapst office, no one was smoking but I smelled it strong we switched seats and my therapist couldn’t smell it but I could. I had to go to the Dr for a pelvic exam and had to be drugged to make it to the hospital and I never have any memorys of the exams, my Dr writes a note for me to read later explaining my appointment that “I” missed. I am so surprised that we are so good at many things. .. Especially artistically. And I am really good at cooking and am known for my cupcakes. I am a great multi tasker too, I want to try new things because I wonder what else my kids are good at. My handwriting is very different from my alters. It’s like 8 different people. Some even write backwards and some write from the back of the notebook to the front. Sleep is difficult because many of us are afraid and scared and don’t want to go to sleep. I also wake up sleeping on my stomach when I myself only sleep on my back. I often wake to a messy house of toys and the kitchen a mess from someone making a snack. I don’t have any close friends because I don’t trust people. I am not attracted to men right now either, my therapist said we will find what alter is holding my sexuality…Whatever that means. My alters names are personal but thanks for asking. There ages are infant, 4, 5, 8, 15, 15, 23, 29, 36. I have a little boy alter and a male adult alter. No one calls out my alters because only Drs know I have them. I don’t know if my therapist does that in session, or how or why they talk to her. I think I need to ask her. I don’t drive anymore because I got scared getting lost. I would literally switch to me and be in the middle of traffic, in the city..No idea how to get back home, it’s very confusing and scary. I will try to drive later when I feel more in control. Unfortunately I am not able to work so I try to contribute to society by volunteering. During Christmas I volunteered at a therapeutic horseback riding program that I had been taking lessons with. I took the lessions because I don’t feel connected, I just don’t get it why people are here on this earth…So I’m learning to connect with the volunteers and the horse. It’s a weird feeling. I’m still not getting it yet but when you have a connection with others it’s supposed to be rewarding and pleasurable and it’s supposed to make life worth living. I have no children because of a illness and removal of my reproductive organs. But I love kids and I’m good with them. I wanted to volunteer at the kids horse camp during the holidays my therapist thought it would be a great idea, but the lady in charge didn’t want me. After my therapist talked to her(“they were friends) she said I could help. But I was treated like I was stupid and they just had me cutting paper. I knew than that the lady must have heard that I had DID. Unfortunately when I signed up for horse lessions for healing I was honest with the lady. It’s her job to know about me so I could be comfortable if my alters came out. Well that lady told others and that’s why they didn’t want me to volunteer, they thought I was more trouble than I was worth I guess. So I never went back, I’ll never get to ride or see the horses again because they know I have DID and think I’m a freak. My feelings are hurt by that. My therapist asked her friend if she told others and she said she told only 1person and she felt justified in doing that. So when you have DID your made to feel ashamed, like your a freak or a bad person. really I’m not a bad person. So I am almost 50 and my life is finally making sense. I was upset at having DID, but on the flip side I’m happy that I now know because, there is a way to make things better. It is alot of work, I have therapy 2x a week, and see a psychiatrist 1x a month. I love where I live, and enjoy people more, I feel happier now, this last few months than I ever have before… So for that I am greatful. I am often in denial, I feel like I must be making this all up..Then I open up my journal and see all the different entries by all the alters in different handwriting and I realize I’m on the right path and I’m not making any of this up. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and Thank you for having the desire to learn and educate your teachers and peers. I hope you get a BIG FAT “A+”.

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4. Abby Kelly says

   February 17, 2017 at 4:12 am

   What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
   In our system medications influence various parts differently. For example, some are helped by anti-depressants and others aren’t.

   Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
   Each part is “made” under a different set of circumstances to do a specific role. Often that may be to simply hold a particular memory or set of memories. However, in complex systems there are normally many, many parts who perform specific jobs and hold very unique sets of skills. These skills are not limited to technical abilities (like athletic prowess or mathematical thinking), but also personality traits (like patience, fearlessness, etc).

   How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
   Some systems always know their parts because they are coconscious, i.e. the mind is aware that others are present inside. In systems that are totally non-coconscious, like ours, it’s impossible to know that others are their except by what they do. Losing time, finding odd things or events happening, etc. can give one a clue that all is not normal, but one then has to want to examine what’s going on to actually begin to identify others inside. At some point most systems tend to break down, and the highly structured programs to keep the parts separated weakens. Then it’s a matter of accepting that other parts exist, looking inside, and trying to make contact. Probably the methods are as different as there are DID people. How long that takes depends on the complexity of the system and subsystems and the degree of wounding.

   How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
   Some alters are stuck in time, holding memories of specific events and operating out of that era in life. Others mature for awhile and have memories over some period of time, but never mature to the age of the body. Those parts that “do life” often, but not always, perceive themselves as the age of the body, even though they may not have any continuous memory of a distant past. At any given time in a system one may be dealing with parts that are babies to parts that are even older than the age of the body.

   How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
   Alters that have trauma memories usually have symptoms and behaviors that reflect that, even to the point of having PTSD. Many parts are shielded from all those bad memories and actually believe that they led a normal, if not happy, life. Their capacities and responses are quite different from those who hold wounded characteristics. Nonetheless, all of the parts, by definition, are abnormal because their behavior is based upon only a fragment of the person’s history. It may not seem aberrant to other people, but for the person, it is a subset of what the person really holds.

   What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
   When alters are switching in a non-coconscious system, it’s really not clear how that happens. Yes, specific exterior conditions can elicit the switch, but no one knows how that happens biologically. Once parts are identified and interact with each other, normally they can agree to switch when they desire. Even then there are usually many unplanned switches as a part of normal life. It’s common to “not know” who’s out in daily life until everyone stops to think about it.

   How is the individual impacted by this condition?
   Our own life story is that we were kept in isolation and programmed to be a specific person. We were that person very successfully until we were 50. By successful, I mean multiple advanced academic degrees and a highly competitive profession. When the system fell apart it was sudden and catastrophic with the loss of all that we had……… mentally decimated and bedridden for months. Now more than a decade later, it’s hard to see any part of our life that was not controlled by the process that made us DID in the first place.

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5. Susan Macklam says

   February 16, 2017 at 2:32 am

   Hi there.
   Thank you for this: for being interested and wanting to understand more. Our body is now 51 years old, which is kind of weird to us, because none of us feel that old.. The one writing this is Susan, she’s the public face of us.

   What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

   I don’t know, to be honest. I am taking a pretty high dose of antidepressant, and I know that one of the others is allergic to all chemicals/meds, so she can’t even be near the surface while I am taking them. And I none of the littles can be out while I take them, because I don’t know how they might be affected.

   Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

   Yes. Kate is our ‘organiser’ and keeps our diary and calendars up to date so that we don’t miss appointments and things. Hem can remember all of our piano lessons from when we were a child, and is teaching herself to play again: she also draws better then I do, and writes poetry. Her handwriting is very different to mine. much more free-flowing, and usually bigger. Some of the others are more athletic: can sing: one or two are pretty practical so can paint the house, or change a plug. I write poetry and short stories, and I have what I call a ‘granny’s attic’ memory full of useless facts.

   How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

   When I was very small, I was aware of a grown-up lady who lived inside my head, and who would talk to me when things were scary: she helped me to be safe when bad things were happening by telling me what i needed to do, and how I should behave to prevent the parents from being angry with me and hurting me. I had no idea that other people didn’t have that. When I was older, I knew that i had a lot of gaps in my memory: sometimes I would lose a few hours: other times it could be days or weeks. I don’t remember any of the year that I was 6, and that scared me a lot. But once I was in a safer place, some of the others made themselves known to me. it took a long time. and there were a lot of problems: but we figured things out between us. At the moment, I know that there are around 29 of us. The ones I know best are Beenie (2-3) Daisy-Mae (5) BB (12_ Silence (12) Hemlok who has been anything from 15 to mid 30’s. Jay, (16) Kate, who won’t tell her age. The Archivist, who doesn’t know how old she is. Self, who has always been there, and LittleDog, who we think is 5, but she is very confused and not really verbal.. She isn’t sure if she’s a little girl who thinks she’s a dog, or a dog who thinks she’s a little girl. There are several little ones who can’t or won’t talk, and won’t let us near: and some grownups who don’t talk, and some don’t seen to understand language. Others are in a closed place inside because they are not safe, and never come out.

   How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

   That’s really hard for me to answer… I/we’ve never really had any help figuring this stuff out. I have noticed that a couple of the Others seem to have become more confident now that they know they’re not alone, and that we all kind of have different jobs to do. Others have stepped back, and retreated because they aren’t comfortable being around others, either inside or out. The one I feel has evolved most is Jay. When she first appeared, she was just a big ball of rage and hate: she is a protector, and at the time I was being horribly bullied: Jay would throw me back inside and take over, and I would know nothing about what she had done until she threw me back out again. it took a long time, but she gradually began to talk to me a little: she didn’t trust anyone, and was angry at me because she thought it was my fault that we were being hurt. Once she understood that it wasn’t, she began to learn more and more about what we were doing, and how our life was: and she has become probably the one of us with the most control over herself. She is also our gatekeeper, and stops anyone being out who should not be.

   How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

   Again. that is hard to answer in some ways, I don’t know what experiences most of the others might have had, because they don’t share their memories with me (I couldn’t cope if they tried: the Archivist and Jay tend to show me little bits when they think I’m ready, and need to see them) I know that many of them, like me, have very strong phobias: several are afraid of the dark: some, including me, can’t sleep in a bed when we’re alone, because bed was never a safe place. I. and several of the littles, am terrified of anything with more than 4 legs: and because of a bad memory, I am even more afraid of dead creepy-crawleys than I am of live ones. All of us tend to avoid being around lots of people.. If we are around anyone who is angry, we always know, even if they aren’t showing it, and aren’t angry with us, and it makes us very anxious – we don’t feel safe. Some don’t trust or like people at all: others are afraid of adults. each of us has found our own way of coping with our past and memories. I like to have structure: I have to know what the rules are, because then I feel safe, because I know what to expect. Hem is not a fan of rules. although she does see the need for them. She’s someone who will always let you know where you stand with her, If she likes you, she’ll say so, If she doesn’t she’ll tell you why. I can’t do that. Beenie just wants people to like her, and keep her safe from the ‘bad man’ . Daisy is very quiet and cautious: she likes to watch what is going on before she risks joining in. BB trusts no-one and nothing.

   What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

   For me, the way a switch happens depends on the circumstances. Sometimes, I can ask for one of them to step up and help me if I’m having a bad time: or they will step up and move me aside (usually if I have something emotionally difficult to do) Sometimes a switch will be very slow, and take several hours, or even a couple of days: usually I have very little, if any control over those, and I feel kind of numb.. like I’m not really attached to the body, it’s like being inside a house and looking out through the window, We don’t like when that happens.
   A triggered switch, for us, is sudden and immediate. We don’t know yet what all of our triggers are, but we are learning, Those are the worst, because we don’t know that they are going to happen, and we don’t know who will come out and take over the body. These scare me because in the past, it has happened, and when i finally was out again, I had no idea where I was, how I got there, and had no way to get home (no money/phone). it also scares me because if it happens and one of the little ones comes out, they may not understand road safety: or that not everyone is a safe person, and we could get hurt. lots of things can trigger us: a smell: a feeling: a sound: a piece of music: once we thought we saw the person who hurt us, near our house. and that triggered us badly.
   There are 2 other kinds of switch that we have experienced. I am the one who is out most of the time: I’m our public face, and the one outside people recognise when they see the body, But sometimes, one of the Others might really want some outside time. Maybe Beenie wants to play with her toys: or Hem wants to have a day at the beach, or play the piano. So we will talk about it, and agree on a time for them to do that when it is safe, and we don’t have appointments or other important things happening. We can be co-conscious, but that often causes severe headaches, especially if we’re each trying to do something different all at the same time) One of us is always around when one of the littles is out, to keep them safe, But if we have agreed, we just.. swap places.
   The other one, is another that I don’t like. Sometimes, if we are very anxious and afraid of a particular situation, we have this kind of .. rolladexing switch, where one after another of us comes out, because we’re trying to find the one among us who can best cope with that situation. its very disorienting, and while its happening, we literally can’t do anything else. And worse, sometimes, we just can’t cope at all, so NO-ONE is out: and we become kind of sluggish and frozen and slow.

   How is the individual impacted by this condition?

   For a long, long time, I tried to pretend. I pretended that I didn’t have the memory gaps: that I wasn’t scared because suddenly it was Friday, and the last I remembered was waking up on Sunday morning. I struggled to keep it all hidden so that other people wouldn’t think I was weird… and for a long time, with the help of the Others, we were very successful. WE knew we were struggling every day: but no-one outside did. Not even the boyfriend we lived with for over 20 years. We did tell him: but he was not a good person, and not only told us he didn’t believe us, but that DID was a made up condition , and I was just crazy and stupid. We had jobs, and were very good at them, We had friends: ran a house: we managed, Until suddenly one day we couldn’t. Now, we live on our own (we left the b/f because he was abusive. Not physically so much: but emotionally and in other ways) We no longer have a job, because we can’t control the switching the way we could before: we have been triggered many times recently, and it began happening at work and affecting our ability to do our job. We are losing time again: we can’t trust ourselves to cook much of the time because we switch, and things get burned. We are finding new ways to manage, while we try to figure out how to either fix what is happening to us, or find new ways to manage the problems again. We have lost most of the few outside friends that we had because they found out about our DID and couldn’t deal with it: and we can’t face having to go through all of that again with new people. Still. we are ok. We have someone who loves us and know us. We have our home, and we’re working on figuring it all out again. apart from that –

   sleep difficulties
   depression/anxiety
   emotional numbness
   inability to read facial expressions
   difficulty forming and maintaining personal relationships
   (recently) unable to work
   stigma from others not recognising or understanding DID
   Fugues
   Social anxiety
   flashbacks
   nightmares
   eating disorders
   Hopelessness
   Isolation

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6. Jo says

   February 16, 2017 at 1:28 am

   What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
   I doubt it. Sleep pills don’t work on some as it does others, nor do pain medications.

   Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
   Yes. We are all different in so many ways. Some can draw better than others, some can read better than others. Some of us have different eye sight and hearing. Some can play sports, some can’t. So many ways.

   How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
   I have known about a few for a while, some newer ones seem to just start coming front. I lose time, black out, start trying to build some sort of communication between whoever is fronting and the system. Then we get to know each other. It’s a long process. Many of us have different names, and in total, I know of around 15.

   How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
   Some grow in the same way anyone else does. If there social skills lack, then that grows, if there language skills lack, that grows. Others don’t really change. We are different ages, or have different roles. Moving towards a healthier more balanced life is the goal, how we get there differs.
   How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
   Massively. That part has learnt behaviour from when they were fronting or needed. So they react in similar manners. Even as we heal, there are still clear differences that point back to something from the past.

   What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
   Different situations trigger different parts. If the person who is a mother figure is around, the younger parts will be more surfaced. If we are at work than the main front is, if we are around family, the defensive one is around. Switching happens on and off, although we can agree with one another (some of us) if someone would like some time I can’t force anyone. There’s only a few of us that even know each other enough to engage in time co-operation.

   How is the individual impacted by this condition?
   In every way it seems. My mental health is often a struggle. Depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, OCD, phobias. My emotional self is a pot of mess. Spiritually, we are torn over so many things. Socially, we don’t mix with others well, massive trust issues. Constant hypervigilance is draining. My time has to be worked out between adult and child parts (and others) trying to fit that into a day where I need to work around other things. Relationships are hard because at some point you have to explain just what someone is getting involved with. Concepts of the world differ, what is safe? Where is home? What is family? How should a mother react? Etc. Factor this with memory issues, sexuality issues, food issues, poor physical health and flashbacks / triggers, you end up with a highly functional intelligent multiple adult and child and teenagers all trapped in a sick, exhausted body!

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7. Nikki says

   February 15, 2017 at 2:28 pm

   Fantastic that you, young people, want to know about DID ans ask us your questions!
   Hope you’ll forgive me, answering a little bit short, because its very difficult in english for me.
   And although I’m almost 60 years and for years and years in therapy, it’s since 3 years I finally found a therapist who saw my dissociation. And I am learning and exploring how my system is working.
   I use more medication and yes, I know can understand why it sometimes really doen’s work. But most of the time yes, when I an aware of the one who’s taken it..(or more..)
   I know at the moment thera are 10 alters and me, the host..
   Some of the alters were known alteady and others come out in therapy.
   They come bij triggers; smell, sound, memory, feeling, situation etc. Etc.. they come when needed or in therapy.
   I have a lot co-consciousness, but not always and for everyone. (i don’t understand all by myself:):)
   Unfortunately none of my alters is very sportif, although one loves dancing and they are neither very creative..but we did 3 job educations..so they have different capacities..skills..( you understand I hope?)
   The alters have different ages and the emotinal parts are living in trauma-time..as if the abuse and other trauma’s ( don’t know how to describe) are happening now and here. They don’t grow (yet?) the adults do learn and grow. The EP’s also learn, but very difficult and slow..much too slow!!
   I have a lot of problems in life, but I work and am married since 11 years. Working and living is surviving..but I hope things will grow better and I really hope I just helped a little bit with my answers to.
   Wish you a lot of succes with your study and this project! Thanks for asking!

   Reply

8. Helen says

   February 15, 2017 at 8:42 am

   What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
   I don’t use psychotropic medication so can’t comment. However, it is not like there are many personalities acting all at once. What I understand is that rather than an integrated personality, someone with dissociative identity has had to break off, dissociate in other words because of an experience they couldn’t cope with. I don’t use the term disorder as believe DI is a creative way to handle overwhelming experiences – e.g. complex trauma).

   Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
   I have found this to be so. My subs or alters have different handwriting at times, there is an artistic part for example who gets frustrated when a child part paints.

   How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names) It took many traumas and years of challenging experiences to realise how the alters operated. While, the main 4 were there by the time I was 8, from child sexual abuse, it was only later that their voices, influence became apparent.
   Since then I have discovered others. At times I have tired to have the current host in charge but the best approach that is healthiest from is to have them communicate, dialogue.

   How do the alters evolve as the individual grows? Some do and some don’t. I have worked to become co-conscious with my parts or alters and have them communicate.

   How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern? Well many people with DI, like me, have had numerous traumas, child abuse, assault, rape, etc. I have mostly fled- moved 75 times in my adult life -even changing countries.

   What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
   They are not summoned at all – they take over at times. If triggered by a smell, a song, a feeling, a movie scene they just take over.

   How is the individual impacted by this condition? It has made life challenging as we have different ways we like to dress, foods we prefer, activities. But also it makes life interesting and allows me to have different perspectives easily. I have worked with abused children and they can relate to me because I have been there, empathise and can understand them. This is called post-traumatic growth.

   Reply

9. Angel S Butler says

   February 15, 2017 at 3:54 am

   What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities? I’m not sure where to go in with this question. I would say it probably would depend on if a pdoc has dx’s the system. I’m sorry I was well established already my clinical dx’s they are trying to forcing her to interaction we were already well established. I think it depends on the system. Several might have their thoughts on what medication does based on research, taking it nothing happened, side effects. They know the blood pressure prior to even it being taking inside I would the critique can be tiring calming the fears. Almost like they are looking for a doctor eat this interval we will find a doctor to bring forth. Thoughts on what might be okay and what might not might affect

   Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.) Yes especially if the work is done the ability to go deeper in a novel staying present visualizing pictures from the words in novel. Especially if cultivating the skill of sports and athletic. We are so well at having someone abilities etched in our mind that is easy when in a personality to have better athletic skills than others. I think it is best to view it from an external approach a group of people usually have different abilities one to another. Great cooking ideas can get near neater presentation of food for those whom enjoy food. A great dress sense from one to another especially with money!

   How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
   Depends on the individual experience of system. Usually there is education on what comprises an alter, so we are to identity alters during what is called discovery as therapy continues. Also, any account on what comprises an alter before therapy. Not all go into therapy with the issues of too many personalities. There might a myriad of reasons why to enter therapy……Average of 10- hundreds for some systems. Their names are usually determined by whom they interacted etc from their external life could be the actual name or alias. Interactions is anyone you have heard speak, relationship with, watched, someone told you about, whom you read about to anything a person does. The imagination is limitless so a combination of these things are how they get their names

   How do the alters evolve as the individual grows? The redundancy of what an individual is during the relationship if there was one grows you learn to evolve their communication style that means elaborating on what their niche was in how they impacted you in terms of I like how you use that phrase or sentence it had a nice poetry feel to it. They evolve in that way communicatively speaking their role involves into family you can branch away from and you make it your own this usually comes with alot of acceptance. It in the beginning, some systems kind of feel they have nothing everything is from someone constantly feeling like fraud a copy. For instance, I share that introjects for example would say I wasn’t that to you when we knew each. We ask each other questions, about feelings, notice facial expression, over read stuff into everything that usually continues and internal communication increases. That includes when the relationship is over they learn also with co consciousness from other alters.

   How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behavior pattern?
   As the disscoaitive walls start to diminish alters will notice the pattern of behavior switches based on what happens in the environment and inside. Say for instance, if married several years with not alot of life changes then wouldn’t be all that different. If there are life status changes sizable family children, new career, new people, televison, family time, circle of friends then it would be very noticeable. Especially over the course of therapy learning what you dissoicated from in the now meeting those unlocked gifts some good some puzzling understanding what happened in those moment is very revealing and can be rewarding.

   What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)……The movie “Ghost” well like on that movie it is a good example on how to make money using yourself and the system the clairvoyance. Her male alter (the dead guy they wanted to reach) was in Whippie Goldberg during that seance scene that is a switch a neuro symptom of switch a change in male deeper voice speaking from a attitude that clearly wasn’t Whippie Goldberg. I guess I’m against seance’s for this reason. She probably lured them for business they have ways to get stuff screening people. I thought of this as a career to make money since everyone runs us off jobs. They apparently had not communicated, so that she could present but obviously it convinced the paying customers. I think the answer to this question is both. Stressor triggers of what thoughts about what all a colors representative of who wants to know will it relive itself inside cause us to switch will we have to be great when we don’t feel like it is someone going to what to know the ideology of smells what we were what we weart and what we listen to getting deeper into ourselves. Are we going to humilate ourselves in the process? Over share under share be too overt?

   How is the individual impacted by this condition? Over the course of therapy, we have to talk make sure even in extreme covertness alters know what is happening in the present. Sometimes that means talking out loud a busy mind …..Staying present concentration problem. Don’t offer help until asked we pride ourselves on being our best mangers. Too many irons in the fire is just that confusion. We get out in front ourselves with a plan on what just like violin lessons you odn’t want to continue because you just lost interest. We are trying to find our way and want to udnerstand the why’s. We are often questioned about our credibility and how much work we put in. It doesn’t matter unless you have to prove every facet of your life that isn’t life we have our reminders too email, text, social media, calendars….Bank book online banking so we are impacted by several things.

   Reply

10. Usha U. says

    February 15, 2017 at 2:20 am

    Thank you to everyone responding on this article! This has really helped me and my partner on our project for Science Fair. We can now talk about how misjudged people who have DID are, and how they’re just like everyone else. Which is something I learned from all of you! I’m sorry if our term “alters” offended you, we often got our research from research journals and they mostly used the terms “alters” and “personalities”. But now knowing straight from the source how it really is, we can help everyone know how the media misunderstands all of you guys.

    Like I said to everyone and Kathy around 5 times, Thank you!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

    • Usha U. says

      February 15, 2017 at 2:26 am

      I also to forgot to apologize to offend you guys for mentioning summoning ghosts, I got that specific question at an article. Sorry if it offended you!

      Reply

      • StarryNight says

        February 16, 2017 at 2:24 am

        Thanks Usha for taking the time to ask questions and learn about D.I.D. We’re really excited about your project!

        Reply

      • j et all says

        February 23, 2017 at 12:29 pm

        Also very happy that you are asking instead of assuming! Please keep reading and you will have a college report one day! Your questions are appreciated!!

        Reply

    • peoplepuzzlepieces says

      February 15, 2017 at 10:09 am

      I for one appreciate that you’re taking the time to learn about something many don’t understand. So no offence taken. Good for you for taking the initiative to tackle such a difficult topic. Thank you and your partner.

      Reply

    • Pilgrim says

      February 15, 2017 at 12:40 pm

      Thank YOU for asking the questions and wanting to know the truth about DID. . It is really cool that you are wanting to learn.

      Reply

    • Ashton says

      February 17, 2017 at 10:48 am

      Thank you for asking! It feels good to have someone actually ask directly how we feel, instead of relying merely on psychiatric articles. GREAT questions!

      Reply

11. Jenny says

    February 14, 2017 at 11:33 pm

    1. What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    Personally I havent taken any psychotropic medication before, but in effect I would probably say its entirely possible that it may or may not affect my alters, i think it would depend on when they came out next, e.g. i think it would be more likely if they came out in the next 6 hrs compared to 2 days later.

    2. Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    I believe that some of my alters can do things that I cant, like one of my alters can listen to and play loud music, i can sing but cant play music on a guitar or anything other than singing.

    3. How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    I currently have 8 alters that I know of, ranging in age from 2 different babies to twin 4 year olds, 2 different 8 year olds, 1 16 year old and a 75 year old. Their names are Grace, Ronnie, Lilly, Little Daria, Lizzie and Gertie, plus the babies and the spirit/ghost thing and me, which makes 9 in total.

    4. How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    I find they get smarter and also can be more willing to open up on things I dont fully happening or at all remember happening.

    5. How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    My alters tend to be reserved unless they know you and trust you, they dont trust easily either. They dont like or accept change either.

    6. What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    They can be triggered, I can communicate with them, although they dont always agree to follow as I ask or say, my counsellor is constantly trying to work with me and them on better communication as well.

    7. How is the individual impacted by this condition? I find I always am impacted by the way my alyers behave. I dont think I’ll ever be ready to lose any one of my alters, they are like my kids at the moment..

    Reply

12. Kallena Kucers says

    February 14, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    I’d like to add that it has taken an extraordinary amount of time, money (for therapy) and effort to get through the extent to which things in the world began to trigger traumatic memories and feelings.

    We had managed to be very successful in life until things and events in our environment began to trigger traumatic feelings so badly we were no longer able to work. It’s taken 15+ years of therapy since then and so much money that we had to sell our family house and move somewhere cheaper. It’s been extraordinarily difficult for our partner who has had to support us financially as well as in all other ways as we were no longer able to contribute to the family income. Our therapy expenses were large but, I absolutely believe that that was what kept us alive. Without that investment in therapy I would have been dead many years ago now and this destructive cycle would have continued as my children would not have had a mother.

    I have no idea what those people who can not in any way afford to pay for private therapy do or how they manage. There is no resource in the public health system remotely adequate to help anyone with DID.

    Reply

13. Kallena Kucers says

    February 14, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    For us they often didn’t affect others. We have been on various meds in the past and some parts were affected by them (bad side effects and addiction) and others weren’t. We’ve stopped taking meds cold-turkey, because we’ve switched, and the new part out never experienced withdrawals. This also happened for using heroin. We’ve also found one part could drink alcohol and others wouldn’t be drunk at all.
    We also have an experience in our past where one part had been prescribed valium because it was thought we were getting ‘manic’ (this was a clear misdiagnosis), she felt the panic/anxiety increasing so took some, then took some more, and some more until took 60mg which is clearly far too much. Then remembered that was about to go to a seminar at uni where were we were to do an IQ test and panicked that we would do terribly as would be so drowsy. But, we must have switched to a part that wasn’t affected by the valium as it turned out we did the IQ test in 1/2 the time and got all the answers right and scored the maximum possible on that version of the test.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    Definitely. Some of us were very good at sport (eg skiing), others totally uncoordinated. Some could drive, others couldn’t. Many were physically exactly like little toddlers, barely able to walk. Everyone’s handwriting was different, some couldn’t write at all. For us, as we grew up in a non-english-speaking family, some of us couldn’t speak English. Some didn’t need glasses while others did. Attention span varied a lot as many were exactly like little children, while some others adults who were high-performing professionals and academics. We even had a lot of parts who were babies so, their abilities exactly matched what babies in real life are like – they couldn’t even talk.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    For us it varied greatly. Some parts always knew of some others while others thought they were the only one in here. Some knew of others because they could hear them, and they were usually very afraid of the ones they could hear as the things they heard weren’t very nice. Many got to know lots of the others in therapy, as they’d slowly turn up to talk to our therapist. Another way we used was journaling. Parts would write in the journal and then others would read what they had written. Often others would be pretty scared by finding strange things written in there, but gradually, in therapy, we learned to understand each other and gradually increased co-consciousness.
    Many had names they’d always used for themselves that some knew, even more didn’t have names – they only turned up a few times and then that was enough. We had 3 parts who turned out to be the core of what I’d call my self – these parts did grow up when they eventually started being out in the world once we found them in therapy. There were about 18 who were the main parts who had lived most of our life. Then maybe 40-50 more who had lived a fair bit in the world and also hundreds (if not thousands) of what we called ‘bits’, that just held a particular type of memory or feelings. Some of these last parts did have words, though usually not names, others were more body-memories.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    Very varied. Some evolve a lot – they spend a lot of time in the world and learn a lot. For us, none of the parts that lived in the world were able to actually ‘grow up’ (that is, emotionally, and feel the age of the body). Those parts that could do that were never ‘out’ and so also never actually began to grow up until we were well into therapy. Other parts never evolved much at all and remained stuck in a traumatic moment in time.

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    Each part’s behaviour was influenced by the parts of our life story they had experienced and knew. Some had no idea that anything bad had ever happened so they could be pretty easy-going and happy. Some were really focussed on doing well academically and professionally as that was one way we kept ourselves safer as a child (by being good at stuff). Others had experienced a lot of trauma so were very suspicious of all people, angry and defensive. Some were terrified as all they knew was they had very good reason to be very scared. Others were in terrible pain all the time as that was all they knew.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    Most often parts would be triggered by things in the environment – reacting to people/events/environment – also because of internal feelings eg: if we needed to be able to respond angrily to defend ourselves, the part who was capable of expressing anger would be triggered out or, if we something reminded us of a dangerous situation in our childhood where it was best to be compliant and good to avoid being hurt, the parts who were compliant and good would be triggered out. Sometimes, something would remind us of traumatic things (eg: a smell), and parts that knew about that particular trauma would be triggered. Eventually, in therapy, we learnt to respond to ‘being called out’ by our therapist but, this didn’t happen often, only if there was a specific need for a specific part to be out. More often she would ask things like “who in there knows about this (or whatever)?” And then whatever part knew would turn up.
    We also learned to have particular parts come out and do specific things – like driving. We chose the part that was most co-ordinated and best at sport to be our ‘designated driver’ and so she would always come out when we needed to drive anywhere. There were also the parts who were best at being a parent to external kids and those parts would manage being with them.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    This is the most ENORMOUS question! Firstly, if you have DID you simply don’t know all the ways it impacts you as you have never known what it is to not be many (even if parts of you don’t know there are others – they still don’t know what it is to really be whole). The main thing really is that it leaves you not able to control yourself and your environment as you can’t choose, your self (because there is no one ‘your self’), how to respond to anything in any given situation – you respond how the system unconsciously decides you will respond as whatever part is triggered comes out and then responds however that part does, without any access to the knowledge and information all the other parts have that might add to how you might choose to act and behave in your overall best interests in any given situation.
    Another aspect is that for many years, before a LOT of therapy, many of the parts are, essentially, terrified of each other or very angry at each other. That’s really why they are separate in the first place – because there is a lot of stuff in there (memories and feelings) which are too terrifying to hold all in one, so they are kept in these separate parts. This means that there is always a risk that something will trigger feelings and memories that are too terrifying to manage, and that is simply extraordinarily difficult to manage. Not fun or pleasant at all.
    A good thing though is there is always ‘someone else’ there to ask for help with anything if you need it, it is also always possible to ‘just go away’ and have ‘someone else’ take over if things really get too hard. One thing I miss (I no longer have separate parts), is being always able to find a place (or part) in my head who doesn’t hurt, if things get too hard. Now, I have to go through any pain I feel (emotional or physical) until it changes or passes of itself but, I’m getting used to it now and it’s not that hard anymore.

    Reply

14. Loren says

    February 14, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    Thanks for asking, ladies! 🙂 We appreciate the kind, thoughtful interest. <3

    1. What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    We don't take medication, so I don't know. But I've heard that different alters can respond differently to medication.

    2. Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    Yes. For instance, I have other parts of me that enjoy cooking. I (the host) enjoy cooking as well. So myself and those parts of me that like cooking do well at it. If Dee, tho, comes to the surface, she is NOT a cook… she'll likely burn something. LOL But, cooking is not her purpose, so we forgive her for it. ^_^ lol However, I don't like baking. I have at least one part, Sara, who enjoys baking as much as cooking. She bakes very well, so she'll switch in to bake. She's better at it, since she is more patient. However, there are young parts that while they WANT to cook, can't really. If they switch in, in the middle of cooking, accidents happen, causing grief, anger, frustration, etc…. Then I have to switch back in and tell them, "It's okay, accidents happen, but let ME handle the tough parts, okay?"

    lol 🙂

    We also can have different handwriting, but I don't know if anyone would notice. It's not that noticeable. Our brain usually works too quickly for hand writing to be useful (hand cramps are common…), so most of our writing is via computer. But the STYLE of writing can be very different. And the language, too.

    I have a part that can draw pretty danged well, but she hasn't been up in so long, I don't know if she's still around. :\ I would LOVE to be able to draw like her, but I have to stick to coloring. 🙂 lol

    If only I had a part that loved doing laundry… holy moly, I'd be SET! 😀

    3. How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    This is hard to explain in a relatively short comment…. And this will likely be LONG, so I'm sorry about that… 🙁

    Basically, most of my childhood was a blank. I've since remembered a lot (some…?) of what happened to me. Most bad, but some good. (It's always nice to remember the good!) 🙂

    Also important to note that I was dissociative not only because of a constant abusive environment at home, but also because of TBMC programming (trauma-based mind-control), some of which included SRA (satanic/sadistic ritual abuse) for the purpose of programming. So a LOT of my parts and places in my system were hidden from me for a LONG time… until recently.

    One of the more interesting things I've remembered about my past is talking to my other parts. In fact, I can't even BELIEVE I had forgotten those interactions in the first place!! But, of course, such is the nature of dissociation…. :\ And besides, my main Internal Self Helper (ISH) had shut me out of my system at 13, so… that's why I had forgotten. Long story….

    Anyways, I would talk a lot specifically to my main ISH, Corina. I called her my "best friend" when I was young, but only to myself. She kept me grounded, as funny, I guess, as it may sound to other people. But she kept me going with a positive (-ish) attitude ("-ish," because I was always depressed, and it was hard to keep my spirits up). But she taught me to never give up, no matter what, and she talked a lot about God and how much He loved me, even though I mostly felt like God hated me and had abandoned me. I remember specific places within my system that I'd visit with her and talk with her, and the things we'd do. Mostly just fun stuff… like standing on a stone bridge, watching the different colored fish swim back and forth on the stream below. Or, being in her castle, playing "dress-up," and talking about the bad stuff that was going on in the system and how we were going to try to fix it. Stuff like that. I don't remember ever telling OTHER people about my "best friend" or the things we'd do or talk about. Likely, they'd just confuse her with an "imaginary friend" if I would have spoken about it, but imaginary friends are different than other parts of me.

    There were instances that, as a child, I would dissociate and float above my body and see other children that weren't actually there in the physical. Strangely enough, even though I was OBVIOUSLY dissociative at the time it was happening, I've never consciously forgotten those times. But even though I always remembered, I was confused about it, and didn't know what to think of it, except I knew, and accepted, that they were PART OF ME. As I became a teenager, I didn't know how to explain this phenomenon. Funny enough (to me, anyway), I kinda "played around" with the notion that I had "Multiple Personality Disorder," the only thing I knew that would describe my experiences as a child. (Now MPD is called DID, as I'm sure you are aware.) But I dismissed that thought as a teen, because it seemed ludicrous. And I didn't want to be any more "strange" than I already felt. "I'm not Sybil," was how I thought. But now that I'm an adult (40 years), I realize what all those experiences were, because I have educated myself on the subject of dissociation, and it doesn't seem strange and scary to me any longer.

    These are just some examples.

    So, to answer the question directly, I have ALWAYS known there were other parts of me about, but I didn't know the right word (or was afraid of the right word) to give that would describe this aspect of me. I know now, and now I am not afraid of it. Dissociation is what happened BECAUSE of what happened to me. It's a coping mechanism. It's not me being weird. It's how I survived an unusually cruel childhood. 🙂

    Anyway, once I started to realize several years ago what I have always known about myself, I simply asked the inside of me who was there and what their names are. At first, no one wanted to respond. But it didn't take too long (a few days), before they started telling me. I was reticent at first to believe what I was "hearing" inside my head, but as the puzzle-pieces of my life have come together over the past several years of remembering now, every bit of it makes sense. There are too many to count, but in my case, most of them are all on the inside and never (rarely) come out, except when they have come out for a special assignment. Those special assignments don't happen any longer. (I think…LOL) 😀 Many of me are what I call "fragments," which just means that they hold a fragment of memory, or a fragment of emotion, and aren't what I would call "full-blown alters." They never come out in the physical; HOWEVER, they DO affect the system, for negative or positive, which in turn, affects my mood and emotional/mental state. So they are no less important than the ones who come to the surface and participate in every day life. Just harder, in MY opinion, to know how to cope with. We (myself and my ISH's and other strong alters) are working on learning how to cope with this now.

    4. How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    Some never grow older. Some grow with me. Some start to grow, then decide they don't like it, and revert back to their original age. For instance, when George realized that if he grew from four to six, he'd have to go to school, he decided he'd go back to being four. lol It doesn't matter that I don't REALLY have to go back to school, it's what HE thinks will have to happen, and he doesn't want that.

    5. How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    I think the two are inextricably intertwined: the past and the current behavior. It's learning WHY I (through either the influence of my alters, or the outright switching into a different part of me) have a certain pattern of behavior that has helped me, so far, in learning better, healthier ways of relating to people and situations, and just LIFE in general.

    6. What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    Just about anything. From anxiety, the feeling of being trapped (either emotionally or physically), happiness, etc. Anything. The transition isn't always because of something negative, although the negative can be VERY difficult to handle because of, well, because it's negative.

    There are certain triggers, specifically, that bring out negative feelings that can cause a switch to an alter who is unable to handle the situation in a way that is ideal as an adult. For instance, when driving to a doctor's appointment. We DO NOT like doctors. I will switch when driving, and it can be dangerous when all the sudden, I can't see over the steering wheel, am confused by the different colored light in the middle of an intersection, and am freaked out by all the traffic. I have dealt with this for MANY years, until I realized what was going on. NOW, when I have to drive to the doctor's office, I have a conversation on the inside, and someone who is a strong alter will come out to do the driving, or be right under the surface HELPING me drive. Works out perfectly for us.

    Other situations, however, come up unexpectedly. Like seeing a hurt cat. THAT is a HUGE trigger for us because of certain situations in our past. When that happens, I can't prepare for it, and I switch back and forth between several different parts of me. It's very confusing. Stressful.

    Other times, the triggers aren't really BAD, per say, and it can be amusing, in a way. For instance, George, mentioned above, is a very strong child-alter. I'm not always sure WHAT will bring him to the surface (apparently food, from the looks of it… lol), but when he comes forward (not necessarily ALL the way up, but just very much surfacing), he likes his food to be a certain way. He want his jelly sandwiches cut in TRIANGLES, not rectangles, for instance. Ever tried enjoying a sandwich when a part of you is angry because you cut rectangles and not triangles?! It's not fun at the time, really… it's rather exasperating!! But it can be amusing later on… lol I've learned now, to cut TRIANGLES when I feel that George is at the surface.

    7. How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    Hm… Well, there are negatives, I guess. I've learned, tho, to try to deal with them as best I can. I can't imagine me trying to hold a job down, for one. I've tried before (before I ever knew the word used to describe me: dissociative), and it never worked, and only caused breakdowns and stress. I'm hoping to be able to hold a job down in the future sometime, but I'm not focusing on that right now, because it brings to much anxiety to even think about that right now. It can also be hard to drive; but I've learned, mostly, how to deal with that. I have a difficult time going to the doctor (I avoid it as much as humanly possible); I don't usually like going to the grocery store, because there is always the possibility of being triggered, mostly by RUDE people who make me feel trapped in a negative situation. But, again, I'm learning to deal with this by asking the other parts of me to come up and take control and do the grocery shopping. CALM alters, who aren't stressed by crowds of strangers who may possibly be rude and hateful for no reason. Loud noises can trigger me into a PTSD-type episode, especially when anxiety is high for any reason. Seeing certain people (or someone who LOOKS like a certain person from my past) can trigger. Hearing certain songs can be triggering.

    But in other ways, it's a positive. I feel that I'm more empathetic to people. I'm very intuitive, and have learned to appreciate that about myself. I can always amuse myself by hearing what other parts of me have to say about people or situations… lol 😀 (although I've learned to not say these thoughts out loud! lol) I have also learned that I am a great parent (ALL of me is a great parent!), and I don't treat my children in the negative way I was treated to cause them irreparable damage. I have learned to love and appreciate my TRUE family (children and husband — not the other mean, abusive family.. I don't consider them family any longer). I have learned to not take life so seriously, to laugh as much as possible, and to enjoy every single moment of life that I can. Yes, there are bad days. There are REALLY bad days, when the memories of the trauma won't stop playing through my head. Days when anxiety is so bad, I can hardly get out of bed. But there are days that I can just laugh with my family, be happy, be still, just BE. That's the best thing, I think. 🙂

    Reply

15. The MultiVerse says

    February 14, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    Hello, we are the MultiVerse. We will answer your questions so as to give you another perspective on DID. We’re glad that you are taking the time to learn more about this from people who live it. Hopefully our answers will give you some good info. It would be easy to write pages and pages in response to just one question, but we will keep our answers brief here since you are gathering info from many different people with limited time.

    1. What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities? Yes, because we all share one body. Everything that happens to the body affects all members in some way (we say members, not alters). That being said, different members may have slightly different responses to medications/drugs- for example, some members may be triggered by taking drugs while others are not due to having different trauma memories; some members may feel addicted/crave certain substances or feel relief when taking them, while it may make others feel sick or dizzy.

    2. Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.) Yes. every member has their own skillset. Some of our members can sing, others can’t carry a tune. Some of our members can draw well, others cannot, some like to socialize, others want to be solitary, etc. Most of the time however, we notice the similarities in our abilities- for example most of our members have good hand eye coordination, most members can understand English and most members can sing.

    3. How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names) This varies for everyone who is multiple (multiple refers to having multiple separate people/minds sharing one body) . For us it happened spontaneously in response to a triggering event at age 30- one of our members introduced himself to us and that is when we first realized we were multiple. Before that we always knew there was something different going on, but we didn’t realize we were a ‘we’ until then. We became conscious of each other over a period of one year, and many of us have already changed quite a bit. We have experienced several integrations over this past year. There are now about 5 of us who ‘front’ (a.k.a. interact with the external world) and many more who basically ‘cycled’ back into the subcsonsious or merged with primary ‘fronters’. it’s important to remember that everyone has different sides of their personality, it’s just that people with DID have splits of consciousness/different memories between these different sides and that makes them more noticeable.

    4. How do the alters evolve as the individual grows? This is dependent on the type of growth of the person. We feel a great deal of relief as we heal our trauma, and we’ve naturally let go of a lot of dysfunctional behaviors. We’ve let go of limiting beliefs and we are moving closer towards each other in consciousness so that we are nearly completely co-conscious all of the time. Yet even as we grow and evolve, still retain our original ‘essence’. Some systems do not share consciousness as much or at all- their members are completely separate from each other and don’t interact. For us, we interact all day and all night and share a lot of information. For example, as we write this now it’s basically a combined effort of talking to each other for a moment and figuring out what to say in response to each question. We don’t have a ‘host’ and none of us are ‘alternate’ to any other, we are just a family of minds sharing one body.

    5. How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    This is a complicated question. A person’s past affects all areas of their present. A lot of conditioning comes from early childhood- this really affects how members interact with each other and the world…for example, if you grow up with a violent father you might develop a member who becomes quiet whenever someone yells because that is how they survived their father’s behavior growing up. Thankfully, these types of triggers can be healed and replaced with healthier ways of relating as trauma healing occurs.

    6. What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety) Haha, how interesting that you thought of a seance. A lot of switching is caused by stress or triggers, however, it can also just be transitioning from one activity to another…one example for us is if a friend calls, the ‘friends and family’ members will come out to talk to them, but if a business calls, the ‘business’ member will come out to talk to them. It’s just like how anyone flows through aspects of their personality throughout the day- except for people who are multiple, each aspect of their personality has their own separate consciousness.

    7. How is the individual impacted by this condition? Again there is a lot of variety among people with DID. Some people have a hard time even just going to the grocery store because they are so disabled by symptoms. Some people are high-functioning and go about life with a career, family, etc. and no one would ever know they have DID. For us, we have struggled with all the typical symptoms of PTSD/CPTSD, which are the hardest to deal with. Thankfully these are much better now due to the amount of healing we’ve done. At this point, most people wouldn’t notice that we were multiple unless we told them. We have different opinions on things and have to have a lot of meetings and work out agreements on things (just like in any relationship), but life is getting way better now that we finally know about each other. Life was chaotic before… now that we know about each other, we can love each other better, and we can have more success in life by working together!

    Reply

16. Christian says

    February 14, 2017 at 1:04 pm

    PS

    I was thinking a bit more on your question

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    and I will give examples………

    Robert went to my first fulltime job and did well enough to receive an award from the company but wnen I had my first baby “he” was really not helpful …….so adult Gloria did most of the practical things such as Dr appointments, technical details like prams, shopping etc etc . However, since she didn’t really like kids “the 12 year old” who liked them did the nurturing and caring . We all helped ,but some parts take front and centre at various times………..Some parts evolve and grow up (especially main parts) …but some stay frozen at the time of their trauma and are various ages

    Reply

17. Louise Evelyn Ross says

    February 14, 2017 at 1:04 pm

    I wrote a long response and it just went missing, didn’t go into comments, did you get it?

    Reply

    • Louise Evelyn Ross says

      February 16, 2017 at 12:31 pm

      I see there was just a delay thank you

      Reply

18. Louise Evelyn Ross says

    February 14, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    1. Do different Selves have unique reactions to Psycotropic meds? Selves is my language I don’t identify with the word Alters. Some meds seem to not affect us, Prozac, Paxil, Seroquel, although I get neat dreams on that one, I haven’t been on meds for a long time for the mind, I don’t seem to be affected by sleeping pills, the psycotropic meds I felt most and enjoyed, were Valium which I got myself, not through a doctor. Hash had no effect either. However meds for the body such as heart meds and acid reflux meds do seem to work, though only one Self takes them. It is probably different for each Multiple.
    2. Do different Selves have different abilities? yes, handwriting can change between Selves, and in my Artwork there are Folk Artists, and more realistic artworks, also impressionism and abstract art. Sometimes you don’t know which Self is influencing. In music, some sing Opera, some Folk, some Blues, and some Spirituals for example. We had one who got a bluebelt in Hapkido, a Protector, Gypsy, she is still with me. so the answer is definitely yes.
    3. I have Six Selves now, they have an alliance and are largely internal now. Logic Louise, Gypsy Lou, Lou, Ghost, Dark Child and Ether. They were originally discovered in therapy with a psychiatrist, although a friend told me I had three Selves in High School, I can’t remember that.
    4. How do Selves evolve as the individual grows. They seem to mature, get along more, less blank spells, some integrate, some core Selves have stayed, and one Ether is fairly recent to appear since the passing of my husband. They start out as imaginary friends and evolve into family.
    5. How does persons past contribute to behaviour. I have memories of abuse but not sure if real or symbolic, I was definitely a very lonely isolated little girl. If I see photo’s of certain types of abuse I want to self-harm, one of the most frustrating behaviours and obvious. My illness is written on my skin. I have a strong supportive family which gives me strength humour and love of life. My past has given me great empathy for people who are hurting and for animals who need help. It has led to a very Creative Life.
    6. Transition from one Self to Another. I have switched because someone wants me too, or because one Self fits more with the environment. Gypsy was best in martial arts, Louise in church. It takes a lot of energy though and follows certain pathways in the brain. Switching is not simple. It involves being connected with abuse memories as well. I will switch with abusive photo’s but generally I am controlled. I can ask a Self to come forward from an internal garden. They are largely internal now though, lot’ of voices but not in full form.
    7.How am I impacted? both positively and negatively. The positives, I have empathy, I am never alone, I have a family inside. I am strong in many ways and creative. The negatives, I won’t be looked at as a multiple but as a borderline because of my self-harm if I go to a hospital for crisis. I have had a million jobs and always leave them in emotional turmoil or they fire me, I am struggling for money and uncertain of my financial future. I self-harm, trying to kick that, but it’s hard, I have many scars and a couple of skin grafts. I have a brother who is a psychiatrist who specializes in trauma, although very proud of him, he is high achieving and a respected professional, I am the psychotic, I feel that, my whole family is very successful, I am carving out my niche in this world. I am pretty stable now, and I want to thank you all for looking at this misunderstood illness and asking us about it.

    Reply

19. peoplepuzzlepieces says

    February 14, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    In our situation when one of us takes a medication, whether it be psychotropic or not, the others are affected by it in different ways. Some are more sensitive to the meds while others don’t seem to be affected at all.
     
    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc .)

    My insiders all have different abilities. One is a very good artist while another prefers to write. I have children who are really good at doing things with playdoh and some who like to colour. The handwriting is very different between insiders mostly due to age and patience level.
     
    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    I don’t know how many insiders I have. I know the names of several and I know the feelings of some others that have yet to reveal their names. Some don’t have names at all so we have to decide together what they will be called or they can choose a name they like. I have discovered many of my insiders by having them write to me, or they’ve come out and let others know that they are a part of me but not me exactly. I have friends and counselors who recognize when I’ve switched and have had conversations with the insiders to get to know them better and in turn have me get to know them better.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    As I have grown I have 2 insiders that have grown with me at the same rate. However, most of the others are anywhere between 2 and 20 years old with the majority being on the younger side. They develop at their own pace. I find that now that I know they exist and I have been working with them they have matured in some ways but not necessarily aged, if that makes any sense. In my opinion and experience each insider has there own purpose for being and that includes a purpose for being the age and ability level they are at. They evolve when they get to experience new things outside of trauma and ugliness.
     
    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    A persons past, whether they are dissociative or not, dictates a persons behaviour pattern in my opinion. So the same holds true for an insider. Whatever that particular insider experienced dictates how they will react to certain situations. My past contains experiences of horrific events and so my insiders behaviour reflects that. Some react with fear, some anger, some become mute, some hide, some fight back amid many other reactions. Each one has a different pattern based on what they were taught by the bad guys and what they’ve managed to learn on their own.
     
    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance?   Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
     
    My insiders can not be called out under normal circumstances. They show up when they feel like it or because an event or an object has triggered them. Sometimes they just have something to say about what’s going on around me. Other times they feel they have to take over to protect me. At this point in my healing journey I can not dictate when my insiders come out but I do have some sense of control over my triggers.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    It depends at what stage you are in your healing journey. In the beginning when you have no idea what’s going on things can be quite chaotic. But in another way things ran pretty darn smooth for a lot of years in order to keep me functional and capable of living day to day life. The entire purpose of an insider to develop is so that your mind can remain in tact and functional while enduring horrible abuses. It allows you to live some semblance of a life while secretly hiding away an entirely different dark side world. Unfortunately this allows the abuse to continue on for very long periods of time because it remains hidden even from yourself. As you begin to realize what’s going on it is very difficult to accept. How you can you accept something that is considered so bizarre? A person is subjected to unimaginable things and then expected to go on living a normal, happy life so that the perpetrators can go on living a normal, happy life. As I grow and become more cohesive in my thinking and behaviours I learn more and more how adaptive I was as a child and how creative I must have been to be able to cope in such a complicated way. Life is hell when you find out. Life is dark and twisted and incomprehensible. It is not your life anymore. It belongs to the perpetrators and the brainwashing that was done to you. But as you grow and fight back you realize that you can take control back. It’s at this point that the real healing begins. When you take your power back tiny speck by tiny speck. I could go on forever but I’ll leave you with this thought…. Life is ever changing. That’s the only thing you can truly count on. Sure we have good experiences and bad experiences along the way. But you can always see the bend in the road and something different will be around that corner. D.I.D. is like always having a curve in the road.

    Reply

20. Christian says

    February 14, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    First …I’m 64 yo female. Found out I was DID at age 50 although I had many “symptoms” all my life !.I had never seen a psychologist until I suffered huge PTSD flashbacks and then it took 7 years until I found a professional who actually could properly treat me ,instead of just trying to “fix symptoms”.

    Now, your questions……..

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    Yes and no . Some will be affected others not.For example, “I” have had opposite reactions to the same medication. Took an Antihistamine (Phenergan) and was totally knocked out. Unable to drive and slept. Another time it made me hyper and very thirsty-couldn’t sleep.
    Another example-Sometimes my eyesight is much better (or worse) than light or tiredness could account for………

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    One alter writes poetry. Some young ones don’t get tired while exercising (while older ones do) etc.
    Handwriting varies from neat to sloppy (despite how hard “I” try ) .
    However, we all go under our “host name” (even though there are 8 main personalities and many with names like “the little lioness” etc) and try to look alike, write alike, dress alike (some literally hate others’ clothes choices though!)
    so it is quite subtle and undetected……..skill levels vary not based on experience or circumstances e.g.
    I drive well but can be suddenly scared of driving around a corner (unusual for me) despite it being a familiar curve that never worried me before.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    Contrary to the myth that therapists make them up…………they were always there! I heard them as internal voices, chatted to them (when alone) and used “we”/”our” about myself. They started as imaginary friends when I was age 2-3 but when the abuse got really bad “they” would take over for me and I created more “helpers” as needed. It was only when they started leaking their memories into my mind that I became aware of them and got to know them and their names (age 50) . Until then , I had spent my life avoiding knowing they existed because they were there to protect me from knowing about the abuse.

    I won’t say the host name but others are Robert, Gloria, Sally Anne/Judy Anne (twins), Clair (poet), Inez, baby with other parts like “the little Lioness”, The outsider, etc

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    My first memory of abuse is 18 months (I have a highly gifted IQ so this is not impossible) so my first part is 18 months old ,”baby” . Then a boy who grew up , a girl who grew up , twin girls who stayed around 6 yo…….one went to school (and knew nothing about the abuse), the other knew about the abuse and created havoc when she popped out in 1st class as she couldn’t read or do sums and got us into trouble by talking in class etc then left the twin to take her punishment (as justice since she didn’t remember and didn’t know about the rest of the alters). Others came along as needed…….various ages and jobs

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    The alters are created to protect the host from knowing about exztreme abuse and to make her (or him) act
    normally despite being tortured. They take memories away from the conscious mind and will “act up” if the truth threatens to surface (distract with out of character behaviour eg reckless actions like theft, truanting etc). However, everything is VERY hidden as their main role apart from hiding memories is to LOOK normal . Since their childhood is so abnormal they will try to copy other children eg playing…..
    wanting to play is no longer a natural urge because of numbness and depression ….but the alters will copy what other kids do in order to “fit in”.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    My transitions are subtle. More of a fading of scenes like a Hollywood movie. I only know I’ve switched when I have a wholly inappropriate emotion or suddenly hate the clothes I’m wearing , dramatically change my opinion in mid argument etc. Having wholly inappropriate emotions (eg waking suicidal in the morning after going to bed happy) has plagued me all my life. One of my “symptoms” . I still ,often, do not know what has triggered the switch but I believe it’s emotions? It used to be a memory surfacing but I try to let them come up now.

    I was unaware of switching for most of my life. As I said…….DID is about HIDING things from others but , much more, hiding them from yourself

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    First….it is lifesaving ! In a world where children are not protected or believed ,it allows us to live with the abuser without them having to kill us because we can expose them.

    Then, it allows us to get an education, live a (at least superficially) normal life…….get family and friends etc
    However, all that comes at enormous cost . Because we don’t remember anything we believe we are defective people when we suffer “inexplicable”…….

    -depression (constant dysthymia interspersed with clinical depression)
    -suicide attempts
    -self abuse (cutting, burning etc)
    -OCD (in many cases)
    I had OCD from very young. It was an attempt to control my chaotic world. Counting, checking rituals etc. Much better as I wrestled with it in my 20s (refused to give in to the compulsions ) but only really resolved in my therapy when I saw it as coming from my traumas.It was a huge source of shame as a child.

    -theft and truanting despite being an “A” student with Commonwealth Scholarships in High School and University
    -Constant feeling of having no future (see above) which leads to low ambition (matriculated to law but mucked around at Uni and finished an average BA Dip Lib)
    -problems feeling anything (numbed out) so difficulties with romance and reationships in general
    -huge problems trusting people …..but ironically not being careful enough around abusive people (our parts literally deceive us into “not seeing” the danger ,just as they did with our childhood abusers)
    -difficulties in parenting .Feeling disconnected emotionally from our children while trying hard to be good parents….and definitely not abusive!
    -having emotions which swing wildly without any seeming cause……..using distractions like alcohol to self medicate those extreme emotions
    -PTSD (complex)……….
    When I had my first flashbacks, the “picture” was disconnected from any emotion but then I had bodily sensations (at an unconnected time) ….wild emotions (at an unconnected time )……..I’ve lost 3 babies, my family home (in a nasty court case), had my mum die a nasty cancer death too young, dad die suddenly from hreart attack ……..put ALL those together at one time and the PTSD I had with my early recovered memories was WORSE! As I said, I would rather have had surgery without anaesthetic-much quicker and kinder.

    So……….how does DID affect my life? Well, how does being female affect your lives? Same thing. Always there. Always what defines you………even if you don’t acknowledge it.

    Reply

21. StarLilly says

    February 14, 2017 at 11:33 am

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    For us, it does not. I take an anti-depressant and it works great for me, but I have alters that are very depressed. Some alters can feel if a medication makes me physically ill–like an upset stomach. But in general, it is whoever is in control of the body at the time will feel the effects of the medication. For example, I’m allergic to penicillin (I get hives), but I have at least one alter who is not. This can make taking medication tricky. It gives the appearance to doctors that I have odd reactions to medicine when really it is just different alters in charge of the body. Since I control the body most of the time, the medication is for me, but I tend to switch when I am at the doctor’s office (because it is a stressful situation for me) and this can cause problems with blood tests and medication. I have also been given two different prescriptions for eye glasses because that alter had worse eyesight from me and was in charge of the body during the eye exam! My eye doctor still can’t figure that one out.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.) Yes they do! They write differently. They move the body differently. I have an old body with arthritis, but when younger alters are in charge I can move very well. The younger alters definitely have shorter attention spans. Some are more musically inclined. They are different ages so they understand and move through the world at different intellectual levels. The younger alters really enjoy coloring and play-doh. Older alters love to drive and listen to music. One teen loves to garden.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    We have 17 alters. I don’t know about other systems, but names are very, very important to my alters. They don’t share them with strangers. It is a very personal and identifiable feature to them. When an alter first appears, it is a big moment when they share their name. Some prefer nicknames and some we have had to give new names to because they took on bad,mean names given to them be a perpetrator. I have always known I had at least two parts. Around age 5-6, I was routinely made fun of for my facial expressions as it was clear that I was having conversations with myself (really I was talking to an alter.) I learned quickly to hide these conversations and control my face. By 7 or 8, I realized that I was a “we” and everyone else was an “I.” And it wasn’t much longer after that when I realized that our culture pushes the idea that having a mental illness is bad, but hearing voices in your head is very, very bad and crazy. I have become very adept at hiding the fact that I have alters for my survival, to maintain a job I love, and to have friendships. Most people are uneducated and can respond in very negative, harmful ways. I wish it were different. It is hard to hide such an innate part of ourselves. When alters first appear, I usually feel their moods first which don’t match mine or the situation I’m in. Then I hear their voice in my head, and finally, I can visualize them in our “inner world.” They come out when they are ready. It’s their time schedule.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    Out of 17, only two of us have aged together. I generally run the body and she helps with school, work, and appointments. It makes sense that we aged together because she helps with everyday stuff. Everyone else has remained the age they were when they split. They can grow emotionally though. They can learn that they are safe, that they are part of a system, that time has passed from when they first split, that they can help each other, that can handle big emotions and process the trauma they experienced. But that takes a loooong time. Years and years.

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    My alters developed so we could survive very traumatic events. Just like a traumatic event could effect you, it effects each alter how they relate to the world, themselves, and others. Some are depressed, anxious, suicidal, have trouble sleeping, act out/throw tantrums as they come to terms with everything. They have to move through and process the trauma. I do have two parts that do not have negative behavior patterns, though. One is a very bright, vivacious four year old who is very joyful. When life events were extremely bad, she split off to hold onto our happiness and innocence. Another is a grandmother like alter who is very comforting and calm.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    It is generally something that makes one alter very emotional. This could be fear, anxiety, sadness or extreme happiness. This emotional trigger could be internal, an alter is having a bad flashback, or external cue. (Baby goats at a family member’s farm makes one child alter pop out every time.) We cannot switch on demand. We are working on trust issues so that we could switch when invited to with our therapist, but this is not something that is not easy for us at all. We have worked extremely hard on our internal communication so we can all talk to each other whenever we want. My alters are always “there.” Sometimes some of us go very quiet or sleep, but we can easily communicate with everyone just by talking in the head. Think more like ESP and not a ghost at a seance.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    We perceive the world differently. It impacts everything we do and every relationship we have. I am not a me. I am a we. We have to live together. Try living with 17 different people of different ages together in a house and it will effect your decision making. Compare that to living in a house by yourself. It’s hard work, and can be maddening at times, but it is who we are. We don’t know how to live any other way. So your question is odd to us because we do not consider or perceive ourselves as an individual. It effects all of us. Ultimately, I guess you could say the main impact of this condition is that we survived.

    Reply

22. KK says

    February 14, 2017 at 8:01 am

    1. In our system, we would say different parts (alters) experience medication differently. For instance, if one part is experiencing flashbacks,,that part physiologically is experiencing medication differently because they are in fight or flight mode and are more resistant to medications help reduce their anxiety. If a child part were out or nearby while we were drinking only one beer, they would likely be drunk from the experience, whereas adult parts would not.

    2. Absolutely. Different parts of us have different abilities, different IQs, different handwriting, different functions within our system, different ways of relating to people, different personalities and memories. Some parts have the job of going to work and understanding complex material, while others have no ability whatsoever to do that job. They also experience emotions and experiences differently, and parts have different levels iof mental health functioning.

    How are the alters discovered?
    I imagine most people have a different experience with this. I can’t say that I knew we had DID when we were kids, but we have always known we heard voices in our conversing about different subjects and kind of knew that wasn’t normal. We have huge blocks of missing memory from our childhood. The first time we knew something was different or wrong was we went with a group of friends to see the very first Star Wars and I can remember just before the movie and then after the movie not remembering any of it. We knew that wasn’t normal so we hid it, but now imagine another part of us saw the movie and we just have complete amnesia for it. When we were in college we also noticed we started experiencing drastically different feelings (one moment completely happy,,the next suicidal for unknown reasons). For most of our lives we have had very different interests from one another, and we have a very diverse group of friends who wouldn’t make sense if we only had one personality/part. It has been like putting a puzzle together in the beginning. Now, we all know many different parts and are aware when they are out and usually what they are saying. About 20 parts have names and an approximate age. We have more parts who either don’t have names or ages or choose not to disclose that information.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    Well, one hopes that they understand the current year and that they are not currently being abused (if that is the case). The younger parts have usually been through the most trauma in our system, so they are the slowest to evolve. This is where most of our therapy work is done. Helping them learn to trust and understand and process what has happened to them. Our younger parts feel and believe they are small children living in an adult body.

    How does the alters past contribute to their behavior pattern?
    Well, in our system parts were created to experience different traumas or to take on a job for the system. So, my parts with traumatic pasts typically experience more sadness, depression, and suicidality. Parts that were created to do a task or job usually function in that way. For instance, we have parts who went to school for us and hold a lot of the school knowledge. We have parts that are supposed to look normal to the outside world, so they may do work or social roles for us. We have parts that do intimate relationships for us because most parts can’t do that.

    Why do we switch?
    -anxiety or being triggered
    -to do a specific task or job
    -when another part wants to come out, so it kind of like being taken by surprise that you lose consciousness and may not know what has happened.
    -unmanageable flashbacks
    -for survival
    -by choice if we are in therapy

    How are we affected?
    First of all, we think everyone with DID is affected a little differently. This is just for us and what comes to mind quickly:
    -we have severe amnesia which makes it difficult to function in all areas of our lives.
    -we constantly experience flashbacks that make life not so enjoyable.
    -we don’t have a true identity that makes us understand who we are as a whole
    – our level of functioning can shift from working at high functioning jobs to our functioning being so low that we need to go to a psychiatric hospital on a regular basis.
    -it is hard to have close friends who are not DID themselves because people think you are some kind of monster if you have it.
    -we live what we call a pretend life because no one really knows who we are.
    -most of the mental health system doesn’t acknowledge this disorder, so we have to fly several states away to get appropriate treatment.
    -we have a lot of unexplainable physical health problems
    We feel suicidal and have other strong emotions and have no idea why.
    -we have to share our body with somewhere between 40-80 parts, and most of them consider themselves completely whole people but confused how they got stuck in this one body.
    -even though we are extremely honest people, we are forced to lie everyday to hide our DID and amnesia.
    We do have a Masters degree in social work and have worked in that area and others, but we are not currently working because of a recent traumatic experience that set our system back so we can’t function high enough for work. Prior to the last incident, we were extremely successful. We are married and it is very difficult for our spouse sometimes. We have two children who are doing ok, but we have a system rule of only appropriate adult parts can be out with them.
    We spend an enormous amount of time and money in therapy trying to integrate at least some of our parts and memories.

    Reply

23. Kathy Broady MSW says

    February 14, 2017 at 7:25 am

    Oh my goodness — I have to say, THANK YOU to everyone who has written a response. These comments are AMAZING !!! So thorough, so detailed, so incredibly helpful.

    Wow. I am seriously impressed. THANK YOU!

    And yes… if you are reading, and haven’t yet made your comment, your comment is definitely welcome as well.

    Keep on writing — this is truly fantastic.

    I’m feeling very proud of what I’m seeing here….
    Kathy 🙂

    Reply

24. Sky says

    February 14, 2017 at 6:17 am

    1.not everyone is affected by medication in the same way, or at all. Also have random flare-ups of side effects depending on who’s around when meds get taken. Sometimes they even disappear as some don’t think we should be taking it at all.

    2.yes we have different abilities. One can draw, one writes poetry (another hates poetry…), one is supremely confident, one is academic, one neurotic and suicidal, one loves animals….. Different handwriting, likes, dislikes, dress sense

    3.how were they discovered? Some have always just been there, some just appear – I guess when they’re good and ready to be known? Most have their own names, some I named because I find it easier to keep track, one refuses to be named or give her name (her little game). Girls, boys, women, men, teens, an evil ageless entity. Ages range from about two to forty eight (body is forty three).

    4.how do they evolve? Don’t know how to answer this. Mostly they are kind of stuck, but can experience stuff that happens in the present. Hard to put into words. The 3 year olds are still 3, but have been around for 40 years. Because of that, and what they experienced, they’re probably not your average 3 year olds?

    5.how does the past contribute to their behaviour? They react in the present like they did in the past. The same things scare them, a whole load of their behaviours are due to pain and fear and misguided coping.

    6.circumstances of transition from one to another. I cant make it hsppen. Often they are triggered. We have much coconsciousness. This is helpful as it means we can mostly keep a grown up fronting, which helps to limit the embarrassing situations of a kid in a grown ups body. Triggers can be a scare, anxiety, a smell, certain people, specific songs, toys – not all triggers are bad ones. When one of the others is around, we get headaches, it gets hard to see/focus, get a certain kind of ‘dizzy’, twitchy. Total switch can be so sudden I don’t notice till I come back, or slower with the sensation of falling backwards into the dark. Co con. switching is a bit of a head**** and something I simply don’t know how to put into words and have it make sense. Its like being two separate people at the same time…!??

    7.how are we impacted?
    Time loss, anxiety, depression, the concept of time – days, weeks, months is really hard to keep a grip on, losing things, forgetting/being unaware of stuff, decision making can be excruciating, not recognising people and places, lots of bad memories. Disturbed sleep, I think we switch a lot during sleep, constantly exhausted, unexplained bruises and self harm. Few friends, serious problems with looking in mirrors, intimacy problems, mental health professionals who treat you like a royal pain in the ass who isn’t trying and doesn’t want to get better (because after six sessions of CBT youre not fixed, and then they find youre better qualified than they are haha). Feeling ‘crazy’, worry of ‘losing it’ and being unable to maintain the acceptable front. How can i possibly be 43? But, every cloud has its silver lining….. Its rarely lonely, we can have a laugh, different senses of humour, enjoy the simple things.

    Its tricky, annoying, irritating, confusing, scary, funny, exhausting. Its a constant battle between acceptance and denial, between honesty and trying to keep it hidden.
    Its just the way life is for us.

    (We still got your yesterday today, you are having tomorrow already! Funny!)

    Reply

25. X says

    February 14, 2017 at 3:32 am

    The common feeling is fear,unbelievable fesr for us – what happened, will we be found, are we monsters, will we ever get accepted and help. We dont know the others because it is hard to find someone who understands and just accepts. Our walls are strong but i have always heard voices like when our daughter got scalded in frontbof us i heard hot-cold so i put her in a cold bath and what could have been burns on her stomach and legs was a small quarter size that quickly healed. As for growth most are stuck and still frozen hopefully one day. Mostly we need mental health to see us not as a disprder but as something to be encouraged and normal

    Reply

26. Em says

    February 14, 2017 at 3:10 am

    1. What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    Not always. I’ve had different reactions at different times to anti-depressants, anti-anxiety pills, and alcohol, depending on who’s around at the time.

    2. Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    Yes. Sometimes I’m on it with my academic work (which is great), other times I can’t face a book. Other times I can draw, or play guitar, or sing, sometimes I can do nothing.

    3. How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    By working hard in therapy and listening to ourself. They told me their names when I asked. I guess there are about 18.

    4. How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    I think they maybe start to get along better?

    5. How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    Behaviour patterns are mostly just repeats. Used as a child sexually, always useful as a sex object in the present. A fearful mute sitting under the table as a child, a fearful mute frozen to the spot when triggered in the present.

    6. What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    This question IS a trigger. Summoned. CRINGE.

    7. How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    It makes life a total ball ache. Nobody gets you. You have to use a quarter of your wages each month to pay someone to understand you. You have such conflicted opinions about everything that you feel insane and manipulative, even though that is the last thing you want to be. You can’t make a simple decision about what film to watch because if you pick the wrong one, someone will be unhappy. You have to constantly be aware of situations you put yourself in because something can trigger and then you lose it in one way or another, or get taken advantage of and regret it later on because another part takes over and you can just watch them from the back of your mind. Our NHS in the UK doesn’t get us. They just see one part and start attempting to ‘treat’ that, and if you seem to act differently another day, then that is you just being resistant. Wow I sound bitter. Maybe someone IS bitter. It does get easier though, with the right therapist, and at least one friend.

    Reply

27. StarryNight says

    February 14, 2017 at 3:05 am

    Wow, i’m really excited to know that there are young people taking the time to learn the facts about DID. I think that you will find that while there a lot of similarities between DID systems, there are also a lot of differences because people are different and the circumstances they survived in childhood were also very different. I will do the best to answer your questions based on my own experiences.

    ” What is the connection between an individual who has D.I.D. and their alters?”
    – Our system sees ourself as a group or team. We share a collective “identity” just as a sports team would but we are made up of individuals each with our own likes, dislikes and quirks. We didn’t always get along very well and we still have our moments but we’ve all gotten rather close over the years. I think the closest thing a normal person has to relate to this is their family. Just like families tend to share certain attributes. Our system members or alters all share certain characteristics. Almost all of our system members or alters are creative (each in their own way), strong willed (some might say stubborn 🙂 and resilient. I believe that if we had never split as a child those qualities would still be very evident. We also have many differences though, just like family members can be very different from each other; not just in our name or age or our internal representations of how we look but in our personality, talents, interests and how we see the world and relate to others.

    1. What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    – maybe. Sorry I know that’s not a great answer but it really depends on which alter in our system you’re talking about. We have some alters who rarely ever take over the body and they most certainly would not be affected. We have an alter who’s very disconnected from the body. He might not be affected by medication at all or only a tiny bit, certainly not to the extent that I (the host) would be. Then there are other alters who are kind of in between. They might be affected some by the medication but not a lot.

    We were on lots of psychotropic medication before being diagnosed with D.I.D. We gave our psychiatrist an awful time trying to figure out what medicine to give us because most of the medicines didn’t seem to work very well. We didn’t improve very much if at all. After our D.I.D. diagnosis and without the medicine we are doing much better. I think therapy has had a lot to do with that.

    2. Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    Yes, even at the most basic level we experience sensory input very differently. I am very noise and touch sensitive. I have to wear very soft clothes so that my shirts don’t bother me and I avoid very loud environments. We have an alter that has a really great sense of smell, so much so that she gets bothered by lots of smells that most people wouldn’t even notice. We have another alter who’s senses are kind of toned down. He doesn’t feel pain very much. Noises are kind of toned down, etc…

    As far as abilities go we have an alter who is very artsy and good at drawing. She loves to draw manga. She’s also very good at video games. A different alter is very social and friendly and good at interacting with large groups of people and public speaking. Another alter is good at building stuff and writes music. We have another alter that likes to read and is good at learning new words and remembering things.

    3. How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    – I have always known I didn’t have the best of childhoods. I also grew up hearing “voices” in my head. I knew they weren’t coming from outside people. I didn’t know they were alters. They were just always there. When I was really young I thought spirits or God was talking to me. Then when I got older i realized that’s not what was going on and that the voices weren’t normal. Because I knew it wasn’t normal I was scared to tell anyone about them. I tried to tell a psychiatrist about them eventually but she thought I was psychotic and put me on medicine to stop them. The medicine didn’t work very well and created new problems for me.

    In young adulthood I started having flashbacks of things that happened to me as a child. During this time younger alters in our system started switching and taking over the body. When this happened my husband (I got married very young) noticed the obvious difference. He started talking to them and they told him a little about themselves.

    I told my therapist who was treating me for PTSD about what was happening (the little ones taking over) and I was eventually diagnosed with D.I.D.

    There are about 20 of us. While I’m the host I don’t consider myself separate from the others in any way. The main difference is I’m usually the one that sleeps in the body at night and wakes up in the morning. There are 4 other alters plus me who handle most of the stuff in the outside world. We switch in and out as needed.

    4. How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    – Some alters have stayed pretty much the same for a very long time. These are mainly alters that carry a lot of trauma memories or the alters that care for them. Other alters however have grown and changed a lot (especially the 4 alters that work with me to handle the outside world). We cooperate more with each other now. We’re working together towards a common goal now (school). Some alters have developed their own interests and talents and grown in them or even taken on new hobbies. Some alters have developed more in how they relate to people. One alter in particular has developed a lot of self control. She used to have lots of problems with anger and acting inappropriately (she’d hurt the body and self-injure) but now she has safe outlets for her anger and the body stays safe 🙂

    5. How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    – Some of our younger alters have trauma memories and very bad PTSD. So they have flashbacks, they’re hypervigilant and easily frightened.

    We have other alters who are more nurturing and help care for those little alters with PTSD.

    -We have some alters that took on some of the characteristics of our abusers. So they can be mean and hurtful.

    We have other alters who’s job is to protect us from the mean and hurtful alters.

    Then there is the group of us who interacts more with the outside world (me plus the 4 others). I think the main thing with our group is that we have different attachment styles. So we relate to outside people very differently (based on our individual attachment style). I think these different styles are all attempts at dealing with a distressing past. For instance I have the anxious/ambivalent attachment style, another alter is avoidant, 2 are fairly securely attached and one alter is disorganized (she even shows signs of reactive attachment).

    6. What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    – We can not be summoned on demand even by our therapist or spouse. Though since we are fairly co-conscious I can ask an alter questions inside and they can answer me without them ever having to take over the body. This doesn’t always work but we’re getting better at it.

    As far as switching goes it’s hard to explain. I know for regular people they associate their body with themselves. But for us the body is more like a vehicle or an avatar to be used as needed (even for me the host). Switching is like having someone kind of shove you out of the driver seat of the car into a different seat. Some parts feel kind of sick after a switch others don’t feel sick at all. I tend to feel kind of sick to my stomach when I switch in, sometimes I get a headache. It usually goes away after a little while though.

    Switching can be triggered by outside events or internal anxiety. For instance, if something scary happens outside, an alter who’s good at handling danger will come forward automatically to deal with the situation and make sure we stay safe.

    But it can also just be that an alter wants to come out because they have something in the outside world they want to do or someone they want to talk to. We try to talk to each other and coordinate it more but we’re still working on the communication and scheduling skills required.

    7. How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    – I haven’t been able to work or hold a job for awhile. Our PTSD + trouble coordinating switching made working pretty much impossible. There are far fewer flashbacks now though and our system is working really hard at being more coordinated. We’re working on finishing up school and job training so hopefully we will be able to handle a job soon.

    I thankfully have a very supportive and understanding spouse who knows about our system and knows our alters and works on having a good relationship with everyone.

    However, we don’t feel safe letting many outside people know about us. Our therapist, our spouse and one other friend know about our system. Because we have to stay hidden we have trouble with relationships. We have to work hard to appear as one person to the outside world (which means hiding a lot of our uniqueness). Because of this it often feels like no one really knows us.

    Reply

28. X says

    February 14, 2017 at 3:03 am

    Because we are different people we have many skills. They say we have one body but in our case it feels like a closet of bodies and we pick the one we need at a givenntime. I have been told we are very good at drawing but i cant. We use either left or right hand depending on who is out. We say we are good at puzzles until someone watches. We can fix anything and make the eveready bunny look slow. I know we can sew, cook, build things, etc but it isnt all of us so it depends on who is outside. As for switching for us it is definitely through triggers and we have a lot so we switch a lot but we dont talk much so most of the time it isnt observed by the general public. Someone asked how we knew and our answer was “we dont high 5 each other”. Most of the time dont even know ourselves until we come out again and the surroundings are different. Time is lost and it is confusing. Living with it is normal cause always had it, just dealing with sinhletonsbis when you find out you are “weird” (their words). It is frightening and confusing and afraid of being judged and laughed at. We are no good at time (date, year, season, etc), and just stay quiet. Constantly on the go. Mostly we use what they call survival skills-watching moving and being flexible in the sense go with the flow. We dobrun away lots to hide and regroup as people are a trigger also. I hope this helps understand

    Reply

29. Sam Ruck says

    February 14, 2017 at 2:32 am

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    My wife has never taken any psychotropic drugs. She never really needed them, but I wouldn’t have allowed it probably as there are way too many bad side effects and my son and I were able to mediate most of the emotional storms she had anyway. But if I judge from how other medications she took affected her/them, none of the alters were affected differently.

    2.Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    Definitely, but it’s in all areas, not just the ones that are easily observed. Even within a particular area, the skill set needed for a certain physical or mental activity is often broken up and divided among different girls and until they are sufficiently reconnected, they simply don’t have the ability to do what a non-dissociated does without thinking.

    3.How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    For us, the first 6 girls began to make themselves known after we got the diagnosis, and after I began to purposefully welcome them into our family. The first year 2 girls joined us, but we saw some others or were told of others from time to time. Then the next year the third girl joined us. And then 2 girls who were ‘helpers’ and had experienced relatively no trauma joined us the following year. And then what we thought was the last girl joined us. But when I thought we were almost done and I nearly had all 7 of them connected, the 8th girl joined us. No one knew about her and I had almost no hint that she was there. So there are 8 girls total. The names I use on my blog (which are not real) are Karen, the host, Ally (the defender and my girlfriend #1), KA (the inside mother and my girlfriend #2), Amy, Shelly, Sophia, Tina and Jenny.

    4.How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    Not sure what you mean, here. Do you mean as my wife heals? When the 7 insiders first joined us, each of them were rather ‘primitive’ mentally speaking. But as we gave them maximum outside time with me and our son, they quickly grew in their mental capacities. And then as they began to heal from the past trauma AND as they attached to me as their ‘primary attachment figure’ those 2 factors seemed to propel their ability to connect to the other girls already on the outside with us. At this point, all the girls, whether it is my wife’s host, or the 2 girlfriends who act like Millenials (20 somethings) or any of the 5 ‘littles’ can do almost any activity that they want because they are so interconnected to each other.

    5.How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    In the beginning each insider/alter was closely defined by the original trauma. Amy’s trauma had to do with the parental neglect she suffered. Ally was the defender of all of them and filled with wrath at any and all perceived threats. But Sophia and Tina seemed to hold different parts of the actual sexual trauma. Sophia seemed to hold the smells and feeling of being ‘unclean’ while Tina held the actual memories and verbal threats made by their abuser.

    KA was the inside mother who comforted Amy. And Shelly was the little sister who ‘supported’ Ally in her ‘thankless’ job. And Amy for some reason was also tasked to care for Sophia whom she called, ‘my little girl.’

    But once I got the girls thru their individual trauma, that was when the mental abilities and personality traits that each girl controlled really began to grow and develop! That is when the other girls began to fill in the gaps in personality and ability that my wife’s host had always had.

    6.What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    In the beginning each girl was ‘triggered’ out by particular ‘interests’ that she controlled, but also in her desperation to be with me and my son. Very quickly however, I was able to help the first 6 girls (including the host) learn to have complete control over switching so that me or our son or any of them could ‘switch at will.’ The last 2 girls took a lot more work because they started out completely separated from the other 6 girls. I’m still working with Jenny on this because she was buried so deeply, but we are getting there.

    In the beginning switching was mostly reflexive and subconscious and took a few seconds. But at this point it’s instantaneous and conscious, though in the past sometimes they would get ‘stuck’ switching, kind of like a computer program will ‘glitch’ and I would have to help them thru it.

    7.How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    Think of an athletic team where each player has special skillsets and yet the team is separated by walls and never allowed to be physically connected as they face their opponents. That’s what d.i.d. is. There are NO ‘stand alone’ personalities because NONE of them control all the personality traits or mental abilities needed for an adult to function in a healthy and whole manner. My wife’s host, Karen, and Amy the 6 year old control the most abilities, but on their own, both of them would be, and have been, severely limited.

    But after almost 9 years of healing, 7 of the girls are interconnected in many, many ways, and even the last girl is interconnected subconsciously to the point that my wife has blossomed and bloomed into one of the most beautiful people I know. But there are still areas of dissociation and dysfunction that need healed and we are working on them.

    Reply

30. maja Gfeller says

    February 14, 2017 at 1:59 am

    Hi thanks for wanting to learn about DID.

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    In our system several alters react differently to medication. In one case the same dose knocks us out another day it does not work at all. But I have not figured out why this is the case.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    Yes some of my alters can play the piano very well or some learn languages very easily some days I sit in front of the piano and cannot play it at all.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    In therapy. At the beginning I was very reluctant to tell names. But after a while it got easier. Even though it is better now I am still phobic about alters in me sometimes. Some names are Esther, Jim, protector, Shine, Maja (which is the host) and many more. I think we are between 12 to 15. I am not allowed to tell you all the names because of inner conflict. So just a few.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    I realised that they are growing somehow but slowly and sometimes they remain children. Which is not so good for me as an adult for example. Two years ago I jumped like a child but couldn’t as a grown up so I ended up in hospital with a back injury. It was very embarrassing to tell the doctors what I did.

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    I don’t know. I have some very angry parts, parts who are ashamed, others suicidal. We only process the past step by step as I can easily be triggered and then I end up in hospital or so. So we speak about the past in a kind of slow way. I have a very good psychiatrist and I trust that he knows what we are doing.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    I cannot really switch when I want. This only happened once voluntary switching. I believe it is caused under severe stress. For example when I have to go to hospital. Or triggers which I do not know. Smells, sounds, or what people are doing. So in a way I am not really in control of switching. I realize it when I “lose time”.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    I am a mother of several children (more than average) when my alters react like teenagers or are doing dangerous or stupid things this impacts my daily life. Sometimes I lost good friends because another alter was rude and I did not know it. My husband is very kind and compassionate but I am often sad because you lose so much of your dignity and respect. I am fearful every day and anxious this is “hell”.

    Reply

31. Lydia says

    February 14, 2017 at 1:56 am

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    I took anti-anxiety meds before I was aware of my dissociative disorder. It helped me survive and in retrospect probably calmed the small seven-year-old alter who was the ‘keeper of anxiety.’ I of course thought it was helping adult ‘me’ because I didn’t have a clue what the voices were in my head–or that they were voices.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    Yes! The smaller children cannot read analog clocks or watches. A six-year-old alter is very active and coordinated and loves to explore the outdoors. The seven-year-old is left-footed (all others are right-footed) and has great difficulty with escalators and stairs. One of my adult alters has great rhythm and another one sings–I couldn’t clap and sing at the same time. Since I did not know I was dissociative, none of this made sense to me! I was a great problem solver and worked around many ‘oddities.’

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    There are 22? They began surfacing when I began therapy at 61. I had kept clues (memorabilia) from my childhood that began to help me remember the trauma I had experienced. I had repressed all the memories.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    My child alters did not grow. Every child was frozen at the time of the trauma and remained that age. My teen, young adult, and adult alters did grow and mature, but they weren’t very good at processing emotions. I was very strong and creative and created a very functional dissociative system. I was a college professor, have a doctorate, have been married almost 38 years, and raised two accomplished children. No one–not even my husband knew I was dissociative. I think it is more common than we believe.

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    Totally based on past experiences. Without trauma there is no dissociation. Every alter’s personality is tied to the experiences when they were created. They are created by a particular need–I always had twin children–one would go out and live while the other held the pain in some way.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    My adult shifting was always based on what was needed at the time. Fun? Professional? Empathy? Once I understood that I was doing this, I could kind of move from one to another when I needed to. My children surfaced because they were triggered in some way. I called it a ‘hard shift’ and it felt like I had been pulled through a wall. It was not voluntary!

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    I think this varies so much! i survived because I was dissociative. Without being able to divide the pain of my extensive trauma, I would have been non functional. I consider my ability to dissociate as a great strength. It did not serve me anymore since it was based in needing to survive what was no longer a threat, but it served me well for 60 years in the sense that I survived–but with much mental anguish that I never understood.(triggers, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, PTSD) it is important to understand that it isn’t something ‘weird’ that the mind just happens to do in some people. It is how the mind/soul/body/self figures out how to live. It is a coping mechanism. Everyone does this in different ways, but being dissociative is always the result of trauma. Healing is possible but it takes a lot of therapy and processing! I had to retire to do this!

    Reply

32. Jane says

    February 14, 2017 at 1:20 am

    1. Yes they would be, that’s just science.
    2. Yes they do. For me personally it’s more mannerisms, such as the way the walk and speak and handwriting as well though I haven’t explicitly tested it.
    3. I discovered the fact that mine existed through realizing that sometimes I had no control over my words or actions and then I investigated why. For me having alters is like having your mind be a conference room where many are talking and sometimes a leader takes over, so when I need to figure out names and such I just ask.
    4. For me my alters are generally at a stand still, sort of like a moment in my life that’s frozen forever. But I can work on incorporating them into myself as I (the host) evolves.
    5. Very much so. An alter is created when there is an incident that the host cannot handle, so they are very much shaped by the past.
    6. Back to the conference room analogy, sometimes I can ask/beg an alter to take over but more often than not they do it themselves and I don’t realize it till it’s happened.
    7. Luckily for me i have a decent amount of control over myself nowadays, but it’s likely because I haven’t had many reasons to dissociate as of late. But it was very prevalent last year, leaving me with many memory gaps and unease over what I may have said when dissociated. I still need to face my alters head on, as it seems I’m just repressing them.

    Reply

33. Tirza says

    February 14, 2017 at 1:13 am

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    before i was diagnosed with did i was given high doses of anti psychotic medication and anti depressants. i learned years later that those specific medications could cause major problems when given to persons under 18, which i was at that time. in my case the internal communication i had was completely lost and nobody noticed or cared about what was really happening. only when i found a psychiatrist who was willing to listen first my medication was completely cancelled and we could build the communication back up once it became clear that i had did. i still cant tolerate medication, i sometimes need something to be able to sleep but i can only take that in very low doses and not more than twice a week.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    yes they do. i’m inclined to say that’s why they are here in the first place. but i dont think i would compare one to another in a sense of being better at something. i rather see it as complementing eachother so together a whole life is possible. and because the ages are all different they will function and write for example to that age.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    in my case through therapy. i knew some of them, or better said, i knew something was going on which i had no clue what it was. i knew that i missed years of my own life and i knew that although i spent years in therapy through out high school due to panic attacks and an eating disorder that wasn’t the full story. they didn’t notice that there was way more to my story then just those problems and they believed that everything could be fixed with medication and telling me i should be less focused on myself and more on taking care of my mother and being a positive part of society. only when i met another psychiatrist who was willing to listen, and helped me move out of my parents house first, things started to come out. so i think that living in a safe environment is a key part of starting discovering whats really going on, and having someone who can be a genuine listener too. that helped me understand the many voices i was hearing all my life, understanding why i lost so many hours in a day and why i could remember so little about my past and why simple living felt impossible. all my alters have different names inside, none of us has the name giving to us when we were born, but some us listen to that name. i learned later that that was part of our keeping it a secret, and making sure that if one of our inside names were called outside that alter wouldnt react and be discovered. it was a huge thing for us to share our names and trust someone from the outside to not take advantage of that.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    only me and another are actually aging. the others are frozen in time, in a sense that no matter how many years pass by they are still the same age. they did grow up to a certain point, but most of them carry memories and didnt age further than the age wee actually were when that particular part of trauma stopped in our life. i think that part of therapy is taking them out of the frozen zone they are in, hearing what they went throught and accepting that as our story so they can grow out of being only a carrier of trauma and bad memories and start growing into accepting that life can be fun and worth living as well

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    many of my alters took part of the abuse and hid it from me so i was able to continue living. they can feel things in a way i cant. some just build a hiding place inside and locked themselves and the memories in. i have one who made it his task to never let anyone come close and discover what was truly going on inside, he would push people away and made sure that people just gave up which caused me a lot of hurt because it prevented me too from building lasting friendships and it took years for him to give his task up and trust the psychiatrist not to hurt us in any way. he acted out in cutting and he tried to kill all of us, later i learned that he was just trying to obey orders imprinted by the people who abused us. the abuse we took made it hard for many of us to think, feel and remember on our own. it was a long road to learn that again and learn how much effect the mind games still had on us to this day. it’s still a struggle, even after years and years of intense therapy and i still have to be cautious every day and listen carefully inside whether one or more of us is drawn back in the mind control we are still trying to break free from. because i know that once that is taking over i will start losing time again and when it gets really bad i could even lose my life. it’s scary to feel that although the past is years and years behind us, it is still very present in our life

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    switching can be caused by anything, any sort of sensation is my experience, whether its a certain sound, something seen, sometimes a smell or taste. those are the unexpected ones, some are planned in some sort of way, knowing we have to travel by train for example will cause a switch to someone who can actually travel by train, or walking the dog will only be done by the alter who is not afraid of other dogs and had the capacity to be boss. its the unexpected switching because a smell or noise or whatever that reminds one or more of something from our past that i find the hardest to deal with because it always causes reality to get a blurry outline and it takes a lot of work to feel safe and grounded again and to be able to continue everyday living.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    you know… it’s a difficult life. i survived everything because i could fall apart in tiny pieces but to actually try living is a whole other story. maintaining relationships and friendships is hard because of the time and energy it takes to just get through the day. it caused me not to be able to study and build up a career. i lost contact with my entire family because they were either part of the abuse or they were to busy with their own life. i decided never to have children because i didnt want to take a risk of getting them hurt too. on the other side … no matter how tough it is, i learned through it, what it really means when somebody genuinely cares about me, l learned that i had a creative side that i started to use and explore to help the others inside me to talk about themselves and to help myself understand too and use it to bring light to my life that was filled with dark moments. i build up a connection to God that is way stronger then i could ever imagine. i’m learning every day to progress from surviving into actual living, and learning that although difficult its worth living too.

    Reply

34. Rocio Caro says

    February 14, 2017 at 1:12 am

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    All systems are different and many multiples say that their alters react differently to different medical conditions/medications. This is not the case with us. There is only one body that we all share and it responds in similar fashion from alter to alter.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    Yes. I have some alters who are painfully shy while some are flaming actresses. Several years ago, “I” sewed some dolls to use in a specific kind of therapy. They were lost over the years and when “I” went back to sew new dolls, I could not. In retrospect, I realize that there was probably an alter who needed our story told using the dolls that made sure that we could do so.

    Mostly it is difficult to tell who has which abilities because DID is designed to not be noticeable; it’s simply frustrating when we go to do something and can’t… and then are later able to do the same thing. With us, most of our differences show with having different preferences for colors, foods, music, etc. When you see those surveys asking for your favorite whatever, we can never fill them out because there is too much arguing going on inside about personal preference.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    I have always been aware of my 7 year old alter, ever since I was 8 or 9… although I didn’t realize that she was an alter. I just thought of her as my inner child.

    During the abuse itself, I have a very clear and distinct memory of being tortured. All of the sudden, it wasn’t happening to me. I was outside of my body, watching it all happen to “the other girl.” Part of me realized that “the other girl” was me, but part of me couldn’t figure out how “the other girl” could be me as I did not feel the pain from the torture any longer. I was 7 years old. After the torture session ended, I thought that I had dreamed the whole thing.

    As a young adult, the alter who enjoys acting showed up at a rest home that we were volunteering at. She fixed up a broken marionette in the recreation center and then went about using it to entertain the residents. I am normally a very timid and shy person who doesn’t like to be noticed. I remember being totally shocked that there was a part of me that would be going around saying and doing the kind of things that I was, while using the marionette as “voice”! Again, once I was diagnosed with DID, this memory came flooding back and it suddenly made a lot of sense. It is this same alter that comes forward when I’m doing storytime for little kids; she is really quite the ham!

    When I was in college, a professor once commented to me that she couldn’t figure me out because sometimes I would be very maternal and caring, a mother hen… and a few hours or days later I’d be very clingy and needy. This was about 2 decades before I was diagnosed with DID, but someone had noticed for the first time that there was something a bit odd.

    As I started my first job, I saw a therapist for some problems in my life. She was an abusive therapist who gave me “homework” to do that triggered out some very self-destructive alters. I was afraid of what was happening but had no idea why things were happening the way they were. Furthermore she was untrained in trauma and was unaware of dissociative disorders and so accused me of lying to her. A year or two later I saw a different therapist who recognized the dissociation and the PTSD, but DID was not diagnosed at the time.

    I had a few more dissociative events happen during the next 2 decades, but they were never recognized for what they were–alters popping out. It wasn’t until about 4 years when there was some sort of a breakdown caused by a medication that I started hearing the voices inside my head, started learning that there were several individuals involved. (I had always wondered why my “inner child” always felt like certain specific ages from time to time. Now I know!)

    You asked about names. Most of my alters named themselves. The 3 year old used the name that she wanted to be called when the body was 3. The 7 year old used the name she wanted to be called when the body was 7, etc. Some other alters chose names based upon characters in books that they most relate to, usually characters that say something about their personality. For instance, the pre-teen girl that first escaped from the abuse said that she liked Menolly of Pern’s story (Dragonsinger by Anne McCaffrey), but wanted instead to be called Melody. Another said that her story is much like that of Tenar in Ursula LeGuin’s “The Tombs of Atuan”, and so she wanted to be called Tenar. One other alter threw a hissy fit when I tried to give him a name that wasn’t his. When I looked up his name in a Baby Name dictionary, I suddenly understood why his name meant so much to him–it described what happened in the instant of his creation. There are only a few alters who have been assigned names, and even then, I ask them if they are okay with the name.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    I’m not certain because I’ve only known about my DID for 4 years. I can tell you that my “littles”, my alters who remain children did not grow up and I don’t know why. Furthermore, they have no desire to grow up that I know of. One therapist is talking about having them grow up to match the body’s age and they are not at all happy with this idea.

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    Certain alters have certain “jobs” or responsibilities. For instance, there is one alter whose responsibility at the time pf the abuse was to protect the others. When those who abused us asked us about certain things, her job was literally to self-injure in front of them in exchange for lesser abuse by them. There is another whose job it was to come forward to take the abuse if the first alter failed to appease them. What these alters were forced to do when the body was a child profoundly affects who they are today.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    That depends. Some alters will pop out spontaneously. Some like to be out while others prefer to lurk inside in the shadows. It is possible (though not necessarily advisable) to ask to speak to alters who are inside. We can ask each other to come out or to stay inside. Sometimes this is an easy process that happens almost spontaneously. Other times we must reach deep inside ourselves for this to happen, and other times, it is quite painful to make a switch.

    Mostly my child alters (my littles) will see something that they really like… and POP! out they come for a second or two because that something interested them. IF it is safe (e.g. nobody is around who will realize that a child alter is out, there is no danger to them, etc), then I let them out to play.

    Yes, stressors can trigger alters out. When this happens, it is usually what I call a “bad switch.” It feels bad inside and is usually very difficult to deal with. For instance, one alter’s job is to protect the others inside. If she hears of danger to the others (or even hears about someone else being hurt) she pops out and goes into defensive mode. As a result, there are certain types of movies, TV shows, books, etc. that we never watch/read. Simply watching/reading these types of shows/books can trigger a switch, so we avoid them.

    If you know of an alter, you can ask that he/she come out and talk with you. However, you must know three things: 1) they choose whether to respond, to come out or not. 2) it is Extremely Rude to ask for an alter to come out, and most of the time if my alters hear you asking them to come out, they will ignore you as a result. 3) It can be very painful for an alter to come out, to “front”. If you ever ask to speak to an alter, to ask one to come out and front, you better have a darn good reason.

    As the host (the person in charge), I can insist that certain alters come out, behave, etc… to some extent. This means that I can ask certain alters to come in or to go out… but there is always a delicate compromise that takes place… and I need to be aware of why they want/need to be out at certain times, etc. For example, one alter came out to take on certain body memories and other emotional pain from me. But “I” needed to talk to my therapist about a pressing issue that could not be delayed, an issue that the alter who was protecting me could not talk about, because she was too young; she lacked the necessary vocabulary. I had to ask her to go inside, to let me come out and talk to the therapist. She didn’t want to do so. It is very hard for me to come out when there will be what I call a “bad switch”. This was a bad switch, and it was hard to come out. The moment that she was inside and I was out, it took a full 5-10 minutes for me to be able to handle the physical and emotional pain that she had shielded me from.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    How am I impacted by DID? I wouldn’t know because even though I didn’t know I have DID until 4 years ago, I have always lived with DID and don’t know any other way of existence. How are you impacted by being single? How do you manage to live without being able to rely on insiders to take on certain responsibilities or situations? How is it possible for a single person to take on the stress of each day, all by themselves? We multiples have teams to do this for us!

    I can tell you that it bugs me that “singletons” (people without DID) think that it is necessary that we become “integrated”, that we get down to a single personality. My alters have been with me for most of my life. They help me. They are my sisters and brothers, and many of them are best friends that I could not survive without. We will never voluntarily integrate; doing so would be akin to murdering one of us.

    Reply

35. Grace says

    February 14, 2017 at 12:50 am

    1. What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    Yes, but it varies.
    2. Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    Yes. They all have different handwriting and abilities. Many are artistic and creative. Some do daily chores, like cooking, another cleans. Some need glasses and other don’t. Some are babies and the newborn has no self awareness or language skills. She cannot get up and she mostly just sleeps. One likes crafts, another is very active and plays basketball, tennis and likes the outdoors. One takes care of the children, another holds grief. Many hold trauma memories. One does not speak and another is disabled. One has no memories at all, so is very carefree. We have a few protectors and two males. One is very humorous and a few love to write. One is a teacher, another a mom.

    3. How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    Most alters were triggered out and others showed up as I woke up or went somewhere. I have around 40 and their names are too many to write here. They usually have beautiful names, but if they have chosen a critical name, we help them change it to something nice.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows? Some are only one age and others have an age span of several years. The whole system is always changing and growing with some integrating together.
    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    It has a great impact on their behaviors. Some are very shy and fearful if they were abused. Some are very protective and others quite talented.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another?
    They come out when they see something they want to do or if they have work to do. Some are triggered out. I can usually feel different ones close to me (the Host) and they influence my behavior and what I do. Sometimes we will do things together and sometimes they will do it with me watching (co-conscious). One little one sat on my lap while I was driving one time. She loved it because not even my own kids can do that. Young alters are almost always triggered out if I eat ice cream. They love it.

    Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? NO. We do not do or believe in such things.
    Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers? Stress sometimes triggers some out. Illness keeps them from coming out. They don’t like feeling sick, so they stay away.
    How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    I sometimes switch while driving and end up lost some place. This is scary. Triggers can be terribly frightening leading to flashbacks, intrusive memories, nightmares and no one wanting to sleep. I get sick a lot from stress and I have a heart condition from having PTSD, C-PTSD most of my life. The severe depression has become moderate with medication. Anxiety varies. I advocate for trauma and abuse survivors and educate others about DID online. I don’t tell others about it around me too much because of the stigma. Lack of sleep is a chronic problem as is tiredness and no energy. It is exhausting to have DID. I am highly functional, but because of the fatigue, lack of sleep and needing naps, I cannot work anymore. I have been happily married for almost 31 years and have 2 young adult children. I am a former art teacher, homeschool mom, and I have a Master’s degree in education. I am also a writer, author, and severe trauma survivor.

    Reply

    • Robert Matthias says

      February 14, 2017 at 7:08 am

      I do not have DID but was an abused child and worked with a lady in her early 30’s who had 20 alters . They ranged from teething babies, 2yr olds , young teens older teens and adults of either sex . I learned much and the 2yr old’s were the historians. I encouraged them to share their likes ,dislikes and their stories and got them to message host either by email or by note. To make them feel loved i called them family and encouraged them to share. Older teen was jealous of toddler and her toys this was resolved by providing teen things like Jewellrey and music itunes , make up etc. One must never argue with people with DID but rather strive to educate and ensure they are aware of their new reality to bring peace and understanding and reduce violence towards host

      Reply

36. Kerry says

    February 14, 2017 at 12:48 am

    Just a test on comments, Kathy 🙂

    Reply

37. JJ says

    February 14, 2017 at 12:47 am

    1. We prefer not to take any medication so cannot answer

    2. Yes, we all have different skill sets just like any family or group of people

    3. We don’t disclose names, ages or numbers but we have always been here

    4. Some EPs have the capacity to learn, others are stuck. ANPs are constantly learning

    5. Our past made us, we do not understand this question

    6. We switch for three main reasons – in response to a trigger, through necessity e.g. something needs doing which only a specific part can do, or by choice

    7. We can no longer work, we are socially very isolated and have no partner or friends – although we do have online friendships, parenting is a constant challenge/struggle and there are physical symptoms of our psychological condition which make life very difficult

    Reply

38. sophanets says

    February 14, 2017 at 12:32 am

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    I don’t think it does. They were never any help to me, probably for this reason. I also found that when I took too many benzodiazepenes, my “host” part, a more rational part, would go to sleep or disappear and more irrational, less oriented parts would appear and control the body, taking more and more time this way. I have heard about this reaction from other systems and for this reason I believe those drugs are very dangerous for us.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    Yes, for sure. I have a part who always knows where North is… a very good sense of direction to get us out of tricky spots when lost. I have a part who has no fear and is very strong. I have a part who is a top notch mom. I have a part who takes over in academic settings, can learn VERY quickly and well. This may be a combination of parts actually, I’m not sure. The list goes on and on.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    They’re discovered through listening and I guess coming to terms with their existence. I was totally unaware and misdiagnosed until just last year, at 27 years old. I sometimes think my parts purposely hid themselves from me. I’m not sure but someone must have felt it was time to let it be known and we’re still in the process of getting to know each other. What I know now is mostly based on observation and reflection of my life (of what I can remember of it). I suspect that there are at least two littles (one who is around 4 yrs old, seems to be very happy and one who is an unknown age who is constantly crying and suicidal), two angry parts (one more verbally aggressive who doesn’t take time – I call him Jeffrey, one who is physically aggressive and does take time), a rebellious teenager, a part who is very sexual, has been referred to as a nymphomaniac but I don’t think that term is something she likes…. etc.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    It contributes a lot. They remember painful things about the past that maybe they were there for or watching and they have fears because of it, even if I know that there’s nothing to fear.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    Triggers for sure. My aggressive parts come out when they think we need protection. When they’ve just seen and heard enough BS and won’t allow for me to take it anymore. When angry parts come it can be very very painful and exhausting. Switching in these circumstances feels like some huge negative, angry, burning energy overwhelming my body from somewhere deep inside and exploding out through my mouth or my body. I can usually see what is happening but can not stop it. I can think “No don’t do/say this” but it will have no effect. I often feel very sad about what they do or say to my loved ones. I hope someday we can agree upon appropriate responses.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    I functioned very well in school, always very well in academic settings. I think part(s) evolved to do that well. When that was over and when I reached adulthood things got a lot worse. I was able to finish a Bachelor’s degree even though my life was very chaotic by that point. But I have historically been unable to maintain jobs and relationships. There has not been consensus on these things. If a part doesn’t like my job they will come out and do something so that I cant go back. If a part doesn’t like a friend they will come out and do something so that they won’t come back. I live in poverty. I am lucky that there are programs available to keep my family housed and fed. I am very talented in a lot of ways, however, and I hope to be able to support myself someday. I am also really hoping to make some friendships soon. 🙂

    Reply

    • Marco S says

      February 16, 2017 at 1:42 am

      Reading your post and it makes so much sense to my circumstances (just been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, more to come im sure like DID or similar) to the point i see one of my personalities as darker hair eyes skin colour and a separate name (my original name i hate)
      One of my alters (thought it was just me as new to all this) kicks off wen the occasional therapist mentions his name and slams it down. I get why i do this now as thats where all the fears been hid away for so long but shown in my behaviour throughout my life) I really hope you manage to find an inner peace x

      Reply

39. X says

    February 14, 2017 at 12:24 am

    One of the biggest misconceptions about a DID comes from how we are discribed – as”alters” when really we are like your classroom only difference is different ages. we all have our own feelings, skills, likes and dislikes, different eyes, hair and names that we would rather be called than the core name. In other word we are people. Medication is hard. We switch a lot so we cant take medication, we loose time so remembering is hard. And the reaction to the medication varies with whoever takes it. A lot of times we get too strong a reaction. I can tell you someone wears glasses butnot mean. The eye dr says they are needed to see but the drivers license says we dont need them. Going to a dr is hard because the one who needs to go doesnt like to so if we go cause we injured our knee it doesnt look sore when we go cause its not.

    Reply

40. Bethy says

    February 13, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    I will come back to this but wanted to share my experience of meds. I take antidepressants and I’ve found that different parts respond differently on physiological level. I can get random periods of side effects even when my intake has been stable. At first I thought maybe the meds were empty and but it makes more sense that different parts of me respond differently. I can get really drowsy or really manic depending on who I am when I take them. Thankfully, for the most part the majority of the system seems to need them and responds well.

    It does make medication a bit more scary though; like when you need the dosage changing or maybe a new drug. How do you trust your own responses? Also can make it difficult to stick to your medication because parts of you will be angry that they have to take the meds when “they” don’t need them. But coming off medication can be really dangerous

    Reply

41. Libby says

    February 13, 2017 at 9:46 pm

    1) What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    No, it wouldn’t affect anyone else other than the one front however some meds will distort our abilities to switch. Much like a white out during a snow storm or severe fog, things will get jumbled and switching becomes very difficult. We also have many inside who when the body is given certain types of medications (like tranquilizers/anti anxiety, anti depressants, and many narcotics – certain insiders (parts/alters) will absorb the effects so that they wont affect the body or anyone else in the system.

    2) Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    Yes! 🙂 Some of us are left handed and some are ambidextrous – some are fairly good at drawing – some can cook/bake – some are boxers and wrestlers – some can drive on ice more efficiently – some have better interpersonal skills – some of us have sensory integration difficulties while others don’t – some are mute, blind, or deaf – and some are able to fully function for days at a time with little to no sleep

    3) How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    We don’t focus too much on the amount of us as the number can feel overwhelming to many of us – but we have about 3 different dinstinct group of alters totalling somewhere in the 200s (about 275 at last count) and not all the groups know of the other groups. We did a system map through communication of names, ages, likes, dislikes, triggers, allergies, skills, etc and learned a lot about each other that way.

    4) How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    It varies lol 🙂 some will age with the body and some won’t. Some of us (like myself) just add more years to our age span – for instance I just call myself an ‘age slider’ because depending on my current stressors, demands, and triggers my own personal abilities and cognition will fluctuate between that of a toddler and that of the body’s age. Instead of the body getting older, what truly helps us ‘evolve’ is more personal internal growth and understanding of the evolution of our own surroundings. For example, some that had a scary past – once they learn we’re safe now and begin to interact with the safe world around us now (vs. what they lived through in the past) they begin to emotionally develop and grow and evolve into more mature and capable contributors to our growth as a system.

    5) How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    For us, different alters had different jobs – some were to stay awake at night for days at a time – some were to go to school and be ‘normal happy kids’ – some were to endure abuse and pain – some were to eat – some were for things like foreign languages or extra curricular activities like music and sports – some were for making sure rules (of abusers) were followed (some of our abusers had rules like not going to the bathroom, not eating, not talking to anyone like therapists, doctors, and teachers etc) so the things they were needed for and expected to do in the past can now interfere with a life of safety as they learn that thye don’t have to keep the old rules of the abusers – some don’t even realize those rules are abusive in nature as they see them as normal and natural

    6) What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    We can switch when needed (most of the time) intentionally – and we also switch when triggered — example, if it’s icy out and I need to drive sometimes one of our adult male alters will either monitor how I’m doing or simply front and drive me there as his reflexes are better and his driving skills far exceed mine – I can focus and mentally count back from 5 and that will pull me inside and whomever is directly behind me will come front – I’ve been told I look like Im just “lost in thought” and then randomly ‘like a light switch got flipped’ am very alert – others have said ‘it just looked like you zoned out for a minute and then you were back’ — while others (especially little kids) when they come front or go back inside – the body will get very tired and lie down for a little bit or even at times go to sleep during a switch — there are also times where triggers happen and adult come front and others around us don’t even realize until something comes up like interests that differ from whomever was front before the switch lol it just really depends on who is switching with whom and why 🙂

    7) How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    Oyy lol how are we not? Lol
    * Depression
    * Anxiety / social anxiety
    * Dissatisfaction with self (gender, appearance, voice etc) as some inside are male and none of us actually look like the body lol
    * Some inside are bipolar or have eating disorders for example and some have widespread ongoing chronic pain – so mental and physical health and treatment becomes a muddled confusing mess lol
    * Diet – as some inside are vegetarians (a few vegans I think as well) and if theyre near the front when the body consumes meat or animal products will cause it to be physically ill
    * Constant fluctuating level of functioning
    * Sleep deprivation (as some will keep the body awake for days at a time)
    * Interpersonal relationships (trust is extremely difficult)
    * Self harm and suicidal thoughts and urges

    Reply

42. Erik P says

    February 13, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    – On some level yes, as the chemicals are in the body. Some alters are better at “blocking” the effects.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    – Most definitely from left handed/right handedness, drawing ability, speaking ability, vocabulary, writing ability, etc. For the most part, the alters can do everything the host can, however; the host cannot always do what the alters are able to do.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    – currently 40+, discovered when they are comfortable and safe and willing to allow themselves to be “seen”. Names are sometimes chosen, given, based on another person, assumed from an abuser or protector, often initial names change as the alter is out more. Sometimes the alter will choose a name based on something they like, i.e. gumball (after the cartoon)

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    – alters don’t really evolve…well they don’t age, and are often stuck in a period or phase of development. However; they can evolve in the sense that they realize they are not individuals, they are part of a system. Or they can evolve to integration when their purpose or the need for them is no longer present

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    – 100% – the host’s past or the moment when the alter was created greatly affects their behaviour pattern and will often lead to repeating said pattern even when the circumstances or environment have changed.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    Varies – triggers yes for sure – smells, symbols, people who remind the host/alter of past abusers or abusive situations will often cause an alter to appear or in extreme cases cause the alters to cycle through, changing rapidly and repeatedly
    some, not all, can talk to each other or talk to the host and vice versa – think of a boardroom with all executives sitting at the table and the CEO at the head of the table – the ceo is the host and the execs are the alters – these ‘meetings’ are held when an important issue needs to be discussed by the entire system

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    – This list is by no means complete and varies from person to person:
    – memory loss
    – time distortion
    – black out periods
    – difficulty in relationships
    – difficulty with work
    – frustration
    – depression
    – anxiety
    -confusion
    – hopelessness
    – suicidal thoughts/attempts
    – aggression
    – lonely
    – disengaged
    – disconnected

    Reply

43. DD says

    February 13, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    I would love to answer these questions but just reading through them caused a Big upset for them. I am not sure why as yet but I will try later. How soon do you need this done by?

    Reply

44. astrie says

    February 13, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Awesome idea girls thank you for trying to break stigma! Here’s our answers:

    please note- i refer a lot to co-consciousness because its vital for us so here’s a brief definition for it- Alters being able to see, hear, feel and smell what the person who is “out” can. They look through your eyes while you’re in control of the body and you can also see and hear them too. Then when they’re out- you can see and hear everything they’re doing too. It’s like being a passenger in the car v’s being shoved in the boot where its all black and you have no idea whats going on. Co-Con is something everyone strives for because it makes life 10,000 times better for everyone. You can talk, resolve issues, help alters, help each other, and cope better when its’s there…it takes people days/months/weeks or years to develop and there’s no instruction manual about how to do it. It just takes time and effort from both sides. Its different for every system but the same things happen i.e being able to see and communicate with each other both inside and outside.

    1)What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    Sometimes. some medications do overlap into other personalities while others don’t. It also depends on if the others are triggered by them, if they are, they will rebel and have a reaction. Others may have allergies which may flare up due to the body ingesting an allergen…It may pull that alter to the front and then they’re stuck in an allergic reaction situation or the opposite can happen, they may be able to go deeper inside and the host/other person can happily take anything without any repercussions. It varies system to system. I think co-consciousness (alters knowing and being able to see and contact eachother inside) would increase the likelihood of these reaction situations.

    2) Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.) YES!! Absolutely! Some of us are left handed at ball sports and golf while the rest of us are right handed. The boys have much faster reflexes and so are better at a ton of things, they do have a shorter attention span and can get frustrated at times. While the girls are better multitaskers, nurturers and organizers. Our leaders can send emails typing extremely fast, make 3 and 4 way phone calls, interact proficiently with people on a professional level- even in court! There are those of us who easily manage University and can crunch numbers like nobody’s business but the younger ones are actually dyslexic. Skills and attributes are spread across all alters so that the child who made them can survive and function as ‘normally’ as possible.

    3) How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    Usually the host struggles in life with things like anxiety, depression, nightmares and other basic PTSD symptoms that never really go away. Then they go to a psychologist for help, and after about 5-7 years on average of misdiagnosis, they will land on a fantastic therapist who will tell them and teach them about Dissociation and DID in particular… Then from there, things start unraveling. IF you are patient, kind and loving towards the others, they will appear and tell you their story, or ask for help or reassurance etc. Slowly over time you meet more and more and the more you prove yourself worthy, the easier it gets. If you deny them, push them aside or ignore them, you’re life will get exponentially harder lol. Over 5 years since our diagnosis, I’ve met over 100 alters. Most of them are kids. I don’t know the final number and its not overly important, because once their needs are met by me and working on their trauma stuff in therapy, or even just ways to contain it so they can live a better life, they seem to go back inside more often and are happier. Which makes life much easier because the PTSD stuff tends to die back then. Mine came with their own names, most of which are linked back to names of people; books and movies i’d seen as a child. They’re also set up in families too. But this is not the same for every system. Because every child on earth has a different upbringing (even twins perceive the same situation differently) every person with DID’s system will be different too 🙂 I’m a child of the 90’s so my system is very magical and creative because that’s when movies like Aladdin, the secret Garden, the labyrinth etc were all hugely popular.

    4)How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    In terms of trauma, the more they are called out and abused, the more life exposure they get. So therefore, they learn and pick up skills along the way… In terms of post trauma and recovery, as you grow, your alters tend to as well. Not necessarily in terms of aging like every birthday they get older, but in terms of their skills and ability to handle new things. Eg. My closest twin alter and i were not designed to feel angry, we don’t cope well with it, we are helpers and nurturers, so when we get angry we are totally overwhelmed and can’t cope. But lately, we’ve been able to learn way to release the anger and get to feeling better after it. This is something we had to learn like the abc’s in primary school. Our parents growing up never allowed us to show any anger and would punish us if we did so these are the types of things we have to learn now as an adult.
    But basically, alters grow and learn just as the host does (provided there is co-consciousness and communication between the host and alters- if there’s not alters tend to stay in the role/form/developmental stage that they were in when they were last abused regardless of how much time has passed.)

    5)How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    The alters learn while they are being abused. So like a dog that cowers and runs away while being smacked, they will learn anything and everything that they can to survive the trauma they are forced to endure. Some get angry and hold it all inside, so now later on, they appear as rageful and resentful to the world, they may fight (verbally) nit pick over small things or go into an angry fit over the smallest injustice. Others learned while being abused to help the abuser do chores so as not to get hit- so now, they keep an extremely clean house or may have OCD. When they see or hear someone being angry or upset, they might start cleaning. They tend to be very very good organizers and like to control their environment (which isn’t a bad thing coz it keeps everyone safe not just them.) Some alters (typically little’s) in here learned early on to just pass off (aka dissociate to other alters) negative and ‘bad’ things so they are always happy, now when those alters are around, the person with DID appears and is actually happy most of the time 😀
    Generally speaking, the type of alter you have in the system can be classified (there’s info here on this blog about types of alters) and once you can work that out, you can see why they’re angry and lashing out at people or happy all the time or so incredibly sad and depressed and unmotivated to do anything in their life. Then you can help them, listen to them and they will learn new behaviours to cope better and life gets easier all round lol.

    6)What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    Yep- Switching works by 3 things for us
    1- if someone wants to get out then they can push their way out. Eg little’s if we are at a toy shop LOL; older alters who want to hold a friends newborn baby or sexual alters who want intimacy with our husband.(they tend to push little’s and everyone else away for that so we’re not all watching lol)
    2- They are ripped from whatever they were doing inside and thrust forward like a hyperspace jump in a scifi movie (eg starwars where the stars go all funny coz they’re going so fast). This happens if the person who was out before them encounters one of their triggers. It could be a smell, a taste, a sound, a sight. Anything that links back to an alter, suddenly forces that alter to be out and in control of the body because it’s their issue to deal with so to speak… Its brutal…The alter may or may not know where they are, why they’re there or what year/time/place this is.
    3- Willing switching. This can only be done if you are co-conscious with your alters. That is, while you’re out they can see and hear everything through your eyes and vice versa and you can all see and talk to eachother inside too. You can kind of relax enough and if their will meets yours, they will swap places with you. Then they’re out and you’re in 🙂 This is hard to do at times and it takes a LOT of learning how to do because as a host, generally, we feel out of control a lot of the time and to do this, it’s an active releasing of control and conscious decision of release we have to make and stick to…Its hard and not always easily achieved. It does get easier once you know and trust and love your alters though 😀

    7)How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    For us personally, the impact of stuff comes from Complex PTSD the alters have. That brings on the anxiety, panic attacks, hyper-vigilance (being alert all the time for danger) depression, flashbacks, body memories (where you get the pains in your body as if you’re actually being abused). We struggle to identify and feel emotions and hold them because they’re so big and strong they either get dissociated back to numbness or are so strong and powerful its like razors on your skin every time you get upset, you can’t think about anything, you can’t be rational and it just hurts (that’s called Affect dysregulation). Anxiety and panic prevents us from working, we hate crowds, get exhausted by talking to strangers or people. NEVER EVER feel safe. like EVERRRR. And for years we thought we would be dead by age 30. (will be 30 this year and have plans for the future now).
    All of that stuff is all PTSD.
    DID itself has helped me cope probably because i finally have answers as to why certain things go missing, or suddenly appear in my house LOL. Why i forget stuff, why people say i’ve said/done things i have no memory of etc. It all made sense once i found out there were other souls/people in this body with me. Once i worked my bum off in therapy for the first like 3 yrs or so, and got to know the alters and understand why they act how they do, i gained their trust by repeatingly proving myself to them things settled down, and they’re actually my best friends (most of them, some of them still actively hate my guts lol). I have a family inside that i never ever had outside, they take care of me, they keep me safe, they teach me things and we can switch to allow other skills to help us achieve things in life. eg uni. Normal people can’t do that. We can also constantly talk to each other, we have great jokes and the teenagers have a sick sense of humor so that never really gets old LOL.
    So all up, DID itself is annoying in terms of losing time, being numb and feeling out of control in the beginning, but after you put the work in and with great support from friends and therapists who actually know what the hell they’re doing (or are willing to learn along side you and support you while you do) life gets so sooo much easier, more enjoyable and less scary. DID is NOTHING like what they make it out to be in horror movies. It is somewhat like the tv show United States of Tara though…At least for us lol. (minus the kids) Hope this helps goodluck with your project!

    Reply

45. PoohBear says

    February 13, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    In my experience it might affect the ability of other personalities to cope (or not to cope) with what they are dealing with or holding for me (the host personality). I can also say that it effects the abilities of either the personality taking the medication or the host personality ability to deal with everything that is going on inside, as well as everything that is going on outside in the real world and being able to handle both at the same time.
     
    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    Mine do. There are different handwritings depending on who is writing or is up trying to get their thoughts out. I know that I have an alter that is better at keeping up with an exercise and daily routine and eating and drinking regularly than I do, especially when I am overwhelmed. I also have some alters that are better at expressing their feelings then other, and I have some who are more trusting than others. My child alters also have a much shorter attention then some of my older alters. I think each alter has their own special skills and ability to do things differently that other alters or the host are able to do and this is what makes them individual or group parts unique. They all hold different skills that either I (the host) or other alters aren’t (or weren’t) able to develop.
     
    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names) Mine were discovered over a long period of time. Many were not discovered until I learned of a new traumatic experience in my life that I had no idea had happened. Others have been discovered when I have disappeared and someone else needed to take over and control. I am still discovering more today and I have been working on this for over 15 years. I currently have over 30 alters. Some of them have individual names: Matthew, Tom, Kay, Amy, Big Brother, Monster, and little brother (to name a few) and others are known by groups: the littles, the girls, the boys, or the others. These groups are made up of several individual alters and prefer to be known as a part of a group until they are ready to share their individual name (if they want to).
     
    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    Well right now I only have 1 alter that has been able to “evolve” or grow with me (or at least that is all that I am aware of at this point). Others still believe they are the same age as they were when they were created and are still in the situation that they are protecting me (the host) from. I am working with a very talented therapist who is trying to get them to see that it is many, many years later and we are all at a different place then were the trauma happened.

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    The best way it has been explained to me is that the alters where developed by the body in order for the child (or host) to be able to handle the situation that was so traumatizing for them. The alters are just acting as the age that they were created to get through the trauma.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance?   Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    Many of my alters “come to the surface” when they have been triggered by something (a sound, a picture, a phrase, a memory, a particular voice, different feelings, etc.) that the host is not able to handle or deal with. They feel the need to be there for the host and deal with it, just as they did when they were developed. I also have some alters that will come up if my therapist ask to talk with them. Sometimes it takes a few times to get them to answer his voice. I also have a few alters that will come up and take over when I (the host) am not able to deal with everything that is going on both inside and outside of my system.
     
    How is the individual impacted by this condition? It has effected just about every aspect of my life. I am unable to work at this time because I don’t have enough control over when my alters come out (and they don’t all know how to act or how to do my job or any job). I isolate a lot more than I used to. I use to go out on a regular basis, going sailing and volunteer, play softball, and other exciting things but no I withdraw from friends and church family when things are really difficult because they don’t understand what is happening. They just tell me to get over it and pull up my boot straps and move on (it is not that easy). I also don’t like other people seeing me when another alter is out. I have very little to no contact with my biological family. I am not really comfortable with all of the memories that I see from my alters and will disappear which means someone else has to come up and take over. Other times I will disappear and not really know why or if someone had me disappear. There have been times when I am unable to take care of myself (eat, drink, bathe, cloth, or sleep enough). I don’t have enough control over my system to keep me in a safe enough and comfortable enough environment to be with others much of the time. I am still working on getting my system under control so that I can be a functional member of society again.

    I hope these answer help you in your science project. I also hope it helps others to understand that having DID is not like it is displayed in movies or on TV. We are real people just like everyone else. We just have a little more to deal than most realize.

    Reply

46. j et all says

    February 13, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    Not sure We really understand the first question. Every DID system is different. Maybe we will have a better response when we see what others think the question is about.

    Medication.. that’s a question that even doctors haven’t been able to figure out! Short answer : the insiders in this system have various medication needs. Some medications won’t work for some, and can’t take certain medications when littles are out more. So.,yes..
    Here’s a doozy for you. Been type one insulin dependent for over 40’years. There is documented evidence on more than one occasion that there has been no need for insulin for up to a 4 day period! Impossible! Says the endocrinologist but he has seen it in a hospital setting. If tried any day.. it would end in DKA. We just have to be super careful and sport a pump that can adjust accordingly.

    Oh my goodness YES! It actually goes to the extreme meaning that our business personality does just that. Business. She is exceptionally good at numbers and keeping tram of business type things. Poet writes.. and very well. He has been published in several places. We have a nurturing mother who is great with kids. We have the parts that hold medical knowledge and are getting certified in that, we have musicians. Lots and lots more with specific tasks but, that is all they do so, they are exceptionally good at their task!

    Discovering insiders is an ongoing process… numbers don’t matter to us. We don’t keep track of how many,

    Evolve? Well.. the best way we can put it is that it is a work in progress. Some insiders are learning different ways of doing things so that it is not harmful to the body we share. If that is evolution then.. ok. But we see it as a more collaborative effort. Still working on that one. Some are still stuck in time and they may always be.

    The past has an input on behavior. Some of our insiders are cult loyal and still adhererevto cult beliefs. Littles are children acting like children in an adult body. Some react out of utter horror when presented with a shower. Some behavior definitely reflect the past. It

    Couldn’t help but to laugh at the ghost part.

    They are not summoned.. and you better not try that with any of us!!!! Most people don’t even notice the switch. They can come on suddenly and back to back.. so the outside person may not understand what’s happening. Switching happens for various reasons. Sometimes it’s just because a specific part is needed at the time. We will say that stress or trauma reminders cause switching.. so does seasonal changes for us. A whole different set of insiders.. for different seasons.

    Oh my….. impacted on multiple levels. Jobs, friends or lack of, embarrassing things, trying to explain things to people, GESh!! There is a whole book on how it impacts us. Every day.. headaches, like migraines, lost time… sigh.., it’s taxing and difficult. Flashbacks are horrible… trying to just LIVE.. one day without some sort of mishap..

    That’s just the tip!,,,,,

    Reply

47. Rainbowoftears says

    February 13, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    What is the connection between an individual and their alters?
    With DID there is a disconnection, because it is imperative that things be separated so that functioning can continue.

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    I know in the case of us, it happened more than once that one part would take medication and others inside when they would come out would not be affected.
    This happened more when the amnesia barriers inside were more solid, less permeable.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    Yes, for us different parts are able to do different things. We are learning to share talents. The youngest parts are being taught important developmental skills by older parts.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    Most of us are the ages we were when we initially split (when our trauma happened. There are some exceptions. I have “grown up” and am currently the body’s age of 44

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    Our past, our trauma history, the people who hurt us…all of these things which make up who we are have contributed to different people’s behaviors. We learned things from those who hurt us. Now we have to unlearn things.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    For us it’s often triggers, and when other people inside have something to say. We also have time outside of the head for the younger parts (ages infant to 6 years old) to play.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    We are on disability. We have successfully raised 2 children, with help from adopted mom. Haven’t been able to keep a job.
    We are highly creative. We are artists, writers. We continue to have to go to therapy. There are STILL parts inside that do not know that the abuse is over. We still struggle with parts that are self destructive. We have parts that make our body physically ill.
    There are many times we wonder if we are going to make it to our goal of cooperation without being destroyed first.

    Rainbow of Tears

    Reply

48. Crystal says

    February 13, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    1 What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    I believe so. I have never taken psychotropic drugs, however, I am extremely careful with alcohol because even just a little bit will affect the alters drastically.

    2 Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)

    Yes, each alter has special skills and abilities that helps the whole unit function.

    3 How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    I discovered the alters by reading Cathy’s posts on her website and then was further analyzed. I do not have a total count, but I can tell you about the ones I know of and a little about each of them.

    The main “foundation” is me… then we have fractions (alters)

    Josie is the artist who emerged about 30 years ago after a fraternity house rape. She is the artist, likes to cut her own hair, wear all black, drink a lot and is a lesbian. She is an excellent artist (the best in her class!) and sells her work and wins a lot of awards.

    Kat is a porn star who has produced and starred in about 20 movies. She is also a successful business woman and enjoys BDSM. She is a lot of fun and a very free spirit.

    There is an 7-8 year old girl who enjoys coloring in her coloring books and playing with Barbie Dolls. She has emerged a number of times and collects dolls.

    I also have a person who LOVES cats. It runs fairly parallel to the main person, so I can’t really tell them apart.

    I had an alter in High School who has no name. She was very proper, made straight A’s, always home before curfew, worked and her parents were very proud of her. However, this was a mask of who she was and felt during that time. I can barely remember high school so I can’t tell you much more about her.

    Oh, I almost forgot… I also have a very spiritual alter who is a witch. She reads tarot cards and practices white magic.

    4 How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?

    As the individual grows (emotionally and more balanced over time) everyone becomes more loving and balanced and happier.

    5 How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?

    Sexual abuse contributed to most of the creation of the alters. I was abused about 100 times when I was about 7 years old. I believe my Mother knew about this and because she was a lifetime alcoholic, I had no protection. I also experienced incest as well as a college rape, and a lesbian rape (also when I was 7 years old).

    My parents never seemed very interested in me, so I felt ignored my whole life. Unless I was accomplishing something they wanted me to, I was ignored.

    My brothers abused my cat when I was young and I now have 5 cats, feed homeless cats on a regular basis and volunteer for a cat shelter.

    6 What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)

    My alters are quite balanced now that I am vegan and my drinking is almost non-existent. The triggers are stress and drugs and alcohol (including medication for colds). I also have to limit sugar (extremely so!) and oil because these things cause inflammation and mood swings. So there is a fine line and strict control over my diet so that I don’t black out and have an episode. I also exercise a lot and that is nice to have fun with my inner child.

    7 How is the individual impacted by this condition?

    Well, I’m never lonely. LOL. I am actually going on a trip by myself to Hawaii next month and I will have a lot of fun. Actually “We” all will have fun. I never feel alone. I never get bored. I always have a long list of things that I want to do (alone). I enjoy going out to dinner alone.

    One the flip side, I don’t care for crowds and am extremely self-conscious. I am quirky and don’t fit in and can have a difficult time in conversations. I used to drink a lot, but now have to restrain from that. I no longer use drugs and am afraid of the dark and of going to sleep (I still sleep walk occasionally).

    We all help each other. Together we are “whole”. I also am said to have a big imagination, but I also can become exhausted easier than others.

    Reply

49. Brooke says

    February 13, 2017 at 11:59 am

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?

    We believe all systems are different but for us we all react differently to meds I think it does affect all of us though differently . One of us suffers anaphylactic hives from stress yet I don’t.

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    Absoulutely some of our younger alters can’t drive or even cross a street alone . Some of us are way better at parenting the 3D kids. Our handwriting is all totally different
    I can knit but others cannot one of our other adults ability is drinking coffee I HATE it !!

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)

    Hmmm hard question we have known about some others inside forever but some systems are set up so that the main person out doesn’t know about their alters and just losses time . Usually loved ones or a good therapist will tell the main person though as they pick up on the differences which can be suttle or very black and white .
    When we were getting to know each other more we wrote in a journal all about ourselves so we could learn more about each other like age , likes,dislikes, favorite things, less favorite things, who knew who inside

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    We haven’t we are stuck to be honest but are working very very hard in therapy to become more co -consciousness which means knowing when another part is forward or seeing what they see

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    It does very much so alot live in fear and have flashbacks of the past abuse are clingy or attachment issues some push people away

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    For us we can switch when our therapist wants to work with a part in a safe space apart from that there is many triggers which cause us to switch like …. people around been angry . The dark. Full moons, men . Smells , certain words or phrases etc

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    I think its hell as people judge so much and mental health systems do not understand there is no support out there . Usually the did person feels very alone in this world
    A load of psychiatric drs are completely arrogant and psychologists they seem to have totally deaf ears and a shut off mind about DID
    Every now and then though you find some rare gems like Kathy here or our therapist and I am sure there is more but there few and far between . We have been dumped even by previous therapists for been to much …. very sad stuff which I would say would cause alot of loss of life out there . We are proud of you girls for bringing more awareness to this and asking questions

    Reply

50. Pilgrim says

    February 13, 2017 at 11:32 am

    What if one personality was taking psychotropic medication; would it affect the other personalities?
    – Probably not. If one has a headache and takes some excedrin, several others will probably still have the headache. At night we take sleeping pills.. its the adults that take it, and it rarely affects the littler kids. There are a couple of us who need antidepressants- some of us dont need them at all, so we have to make sure the right people take them,

    Do the various alters have different sets of abilities? (e.g. Better athletic skills, neater handwriting, shorter attention span etc.)
    Yes LOTS. for instance, Missy can dance really good- most cant dance at all. Some of us have beautiful handwriting- others its too messy to read. Some of us can read anything at all- quite a few inside kids are still trying to sound out short words, cant spell, and there are some who are still trying to learn the alphabet. Some are left handed and some are right handed.
    Two of us are really good artists, the rest cant draw at all.
    Lots and lots of things like that.

    How are these alters discovered? (e.g. How many there are, their names)
    We have always known about each other, we remember as far back as kindergarten, feeling plural, feeling so different from other kids. we just didnt have a name for what was wrong with us. we have always been around each other. so i cant say we discovered each other, we have always known each other, mostly.
    Not sure how many there are. If I had to guess, I’d say about 25. Probably more than that talk to our therapist and we just dont know about them. Too many to keep track of them. rather not give names, for privacy. But there are a few two year olds, a whole bunch of 5-6 year olds, ten tear old twins, a couple 11-12 year olds, a couple 14 year olds, couple 17 year olds, and a couple young adults.

    How do the alters evolve as the individual grows?
    Some grow and some dont. Some are still living in the past, most have never aged, a few have developed better language abilities.

    How does the person’s past contribute to the alters’ behaviour pattern?
    Our therapist would probably say it keeps us acting crazy.

    What are the circumstances of transition from one personality to another? Are they summoned like a ghost at a séance? Or are there psycho-social stressors or triggers?, (e.g. anxiety)
    We naturally switch all day long, mostly due to words people say or things we see, sometimes songs e hear or certain smells,Stress also triggers it, talking to certain people, what skills a certain situation calls for.
    When we switch it feels like looking down a long tunnel, and feeling yourself slip away. It makes us just a tiny bit dizzy, and we shake our head a bit, sometimes to make the dizziness stop and sometimes to try to block someone who is trying to come out.
    Certain people we trust can ask for a certain someone to come out to talk. But we dont usually switch on demand. we are not trained circus seals putting on a performance.

    How is the individual impacted by this condition?
    Not sure how to answer this because we are not an individual and dont think of ourselves as one. We have always been a group. I guess it makes us more compassionate and empathetic towards people, and helps us relate to the kids we teach really well because we know what its like to be a kid, so it makes us a better teacher. It also makes everything really complicated. Because we have to make EVERY decision as a group, from what to wear to what to eat for lunch to any bigger life changes. We have lost a lot of friends over the years, been called demon-possessed, have lost a therapist, and pretty much are lonely all the time.

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