It’s the beginning of a new year. A brand new year.
New Years Day can be meaningful, or it can be just another day.
Lots of us use the beginning of the New Year as a time to think, plan, dream, challenge, hope, prepare. New Year’s Day is a day in our life that we get to feel like there is a new opportunity ahead.
Really, EVERY day is a new opportunity, but New Year’s Day gets all the glitz and glory, yes? I guess because of all the fancy fireworks and stuff, New Year’s Day thinks it’s all special or something.
And I guess it is, because wow. Most of the other days of the year don’t get to have so many celebrations just because they come around the bend.
I mean, why doesn’t May 14 ever get fireworks? Or what’s wrong with Aug 6? Or maybe we could celebrate more on Jan 7 instead of Jan 1?
Oh well. I’m being silly. January 1 it is, and what a great big day that can be!
So…. with this New Year already upon us, what are you doing new this year?
Do you have the courage to do something new?
Do you have the willingness to do something new?
Do you have the desire to do something new?
I started out this year doing something new that I had never ever done before.
It was something that I had wanted to do for lots of years.
It was a big deal to me, because it was going to take a big effort to make it happen.
But I was already tired.
And I didn’t really know how to do it.
And I wasn’t sure.
And of course, I would love it once I got there, but how would I get there.
And what if I had trouble along the way.
And what about all the time it would take to do it.
And what about how much it would cost.
And what if, what if, what if….
And, and, and…..
As you can imagine, there were all kinds of obstacles that could have prevented me from doing my brand new NEW thing.
So I had to make a decision about whether to do this new thing or not.
Do I? Yes. Or no.
I thought about it for a few minutes, and then made my decision.
It was a resounding yes, and if I was going to do it, I was going to have to jump all the way in and commit to the process, no matter what.
I gathered my things, packed a suitcase, made a few preparatory phone calls, made a few reservations online, got the dogs ready, and got in the car.
I was headed to Sydney, Australia for the New Year’s Eve fireworks.
I was finally going to Sydney to see the NYE fireworks !!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing the Sydney NYE Fireworks had been a dream of mine for many years. It wasn’t going to be “comfortable” to pack up and go, and making such a journey would come at a cost, of course, but this was something that mattered to me, and I decided to just do it.
It wouldn’t be easy, and it would be tiresome, and it would be a challenge, but I had just enough of what I needed to have to make this dream come true….. so yes. That’s was the deciding factor — time to go for it!
There’s more story to the whole journey, but the point for now is that I took the time to make a decision. A specific clear-cut decision. A definite decision saying YES, I would put in all the effort it took to achieve something that I wanted to experience.
Was it time consuming? Yes.
Was it expensive? Of course.
Was it exhausting? Oh yeah.
Was it worth it? Absolutely!
Because now I have an experience that I will always remember. I have a story I can tell. I did something to add fullness, color, and adventure to my life. I did something that loads of people “want to do” but never get to do.
Do you see that blue circle? I was standing right in front of that, directly under the “S”, leaning up against the rail, watching the fireworks off the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
I had to drive for a few days, but I got to the Sydney Harbour hours and hours and hours ahead of time — I know, I know… since when am I early for anything?!!! And even so, there were many people there way before me.
And with a little assistance, some persistence, and some luck, I found some of the last square inches of concrete available at the very very very front of the Sydney Opera House, overlooking the harbor, staring directly at the Harbour Bridge.
My perfect spot!!
It was a long, hot, grueling, uncomfortable day sitting in the sun, directly on the concrete. I didn’t really prepare adequately, so I didn’t have a blanket, or lawn chairs, or a book, or baskets of treats, or bottles of water, or any other comforts that the prepared-people had known to bring with them.
It didn’t matter. I was going to stay, and protect my squares of concrete, and be there at the very front to see those fireworks, no matter what.
And were they amazing? Of course.
Was it all worth it? I think so, yes.
Would I do it again? Yes, absolutely — with a basket of goodies next time. 🙂
Watch the SydNYE (Sydney NYE) 2016 Fireworks with me….
Imagine yourself standing with me, right in front of the Opera House. Come on. Stand right there beside me. Put yourself there, and watch the fireworks from that place…..
What do you think ?!?!!
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, YES ?!!?!!?!!
Did you see the bird fly passed the fireworks? I did, even when I was there, I saw that!
Did you see the word “Sydney” spelled out in the fireworks?
Did you see the fireworks come out in the shapes of stars, circles, hearts, crescents, and spirals?
Did you see all the boats in the harbor? They were so fascinating.
What about the waterfall at the end? Did you see that? The waterfall is my favorite.
Just. So. Pretty!
So what’s the point of this story?
The point is…. sometimes you have to decide to do something that will be very difficult to do, knowing there can be a good reward in the end.
When you are dissociative and have an internal team of 5, 10, 20, 30, 40+ inner people, it can be very confusing to decide what to do new and different. For goodness sakes, it can be a major decision about when and how to brush the teeth, let alone doing something bigger and more complicated.
When you are DID, there’s no doubt that life will bring extra challenges, difficulties, complications, etc. But you already know that.
So what is it that you are going to decide to do this year that is a BIG thing to do, difficult even, but will be worth the effort in the end?
If you get the chance to travel and see some of the cool things in the world, or even in your local neighborhood, I certainly encourage you to do that.
However, I do remember that this is a mental health blog, so let me give you some mental health / therapy / treatment ideas for those of you who are dissociative.
Are you going to make a clear and solid decision to…..
- Truly commit to your healing by meeting all of your insiders?
- Give your inside people the time they need for healing?
- Schedule those extra therapy sessions when you need them?
- Let your teenage parts learn how to play the guitar?
- Stop hurting yourself, including your inside selves?
- Look at the truth of your history, even if it’s painful?
- Separate from and leave outside people who are abusive in your life?
- Express your feelings each week through art, music, poetry, dance, or some other creative option?
- Involve your whole system in healthy exercise on a regular basis?
- Teach your insiders how to cook and create healthy meals?
These are not small tasks I’ve listed. They may look “small” on paper, but they are, in fact, huge life-changing decisions.
Building sufficient internal cooperation to accomplish any of these tasks would be huge!
Exhausting? Of course.
Worth it??? Absolutely.
I challenge you, each and every one of you, to DECIDE to do something this year that will make a difference in your life, for the rest of your life.
Decide to do something difficult, but worthwhile.
Choose to do something that will make your life better.
And along the way, be sure to find things that add excitement, interest, fun, and happiness to your days. Let your life find goodness too! Have some fun, and enjoy living for awhile.
When it is a resounding yes, jump all the way in, commit to the process, prepare for the difficulties, and DO IT!
No matter what.
Wishing you the very very best in the New Year !
Copyright © 2008-2019 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation