It’s the beginning of a new year. A brand new year. Do you have the courage to do something new and different this year?
New Years Day can be meaningful, or it can be just another day.
Lots of us use the beginning of the New Year as a time to think, plan, dream, challenge, hope, prepare. New Year’s Day is a day in our life that we get to feel like there is a new opportunity ahead.
Really, EVERY day is a new opportunity, but New Year’s Day gets all the glitz and glory, yes? I guess because of all the fancy fireworks and stuff, New Year’s Day thinks it’s all special or something.
And I guess it is, because wow. Most of the other days of the year don’t get to have so many celebrations just because they come around the bend.
I mean, why doesn’t May 14 ever get fireworks? Or what’s wrong with Aug 6? Or maybe we could celebrate more on Jan 7 instead of Jan 1?
Oh well. I’m being silly. January 1 it is, and what a great big day that can be!
So…. with this New Year already upon us, what are you doing new this year?
Do you have the courage to do something new?
Do you have the willingness to do something new?
Do you have the desire to do something new?
I started out this year doing something new that I had never ever done before.
It was something that I had wanted to do for lots of years.
It was a big deal to me, because it was going to take a big effort to make it happen.
But I was already tired.
And I didn’t really know how to do it.
And I wasn’t sure.
And of course, I would love it once I got there, but how would I get there.
And what if I had trouble along the way.
And what about all the time it would take to do it.
And what about how much it would cost.
And what if, what if, what if….
And, and, and…..
As you can imagine, there were all kinds of obstacles that could have prevented me from doing my brand new NEW thing.
So I had to make a decision about whether to do this new thing or not.
Do I? Yes. Or no.
I thought about it for a few minutes, and then made my decision.
It was a resounding yes, and if I was going to do it, I was going to have to jump all the way in and commit to the process, no matter what.
I gathered my things, packed a suitcase, made a few preparatory phone calls, made a few reservations online, got the dogs ready, and got in the car.
I was headed to Sydney, Australia for the New Year’s Eve fireworks.
I was finally going to Sydney to see the NYE fireworks !!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing the Sydney NYE Fireworks had been a dream of mine for many years. It wasn’t going to be “comfortable” to pack up and go, and making such a journey would come at a cost, of course, but this was something that mattered to me, and I decided to just do it.
It wouldn’t be easy, and it would be tiresome, and it would be a challenge, but I had just enough of what I needed to have to make this dream come true….. so yes. That’s was the deciding factor — time to go for it!
There’s more story to the whole journey, but the point for now is that I took the time to make a decision. A specific clear-cut decision. A definite decision saying YES, I would put in all the effort it took to achieve something that I wanted to experience.
Was it time consuming? Yes.
Was it expensive? Of course.
Was it exhausting? Oh yeah.
Was it worth it? Absolutely!
Because now I have an experience that I will always remember. I have a story I can tell. I did something to add fullness, color, and adventure to my life. I did something that loads of people “want to do” but never get to do.
Do you see that blue circle? I was standing right in front of that, directly under the “S”, leaning up against the rail, watching the fireworks off the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
I had to drive for a few days, but I got to the Sydney Harbour hours and hours and hours ahead of time — I know, I know… since when am I early for anything?!!! And even so, there were many people there way before me.
And with a little assistance, some persistence, and some luck, I found some of the last square inches of concrete available at the very very very front of the Sydney Opera House, overlooking the harbor, staring directly at the Harbour Bridge.
My perfect spot!!
It was a long, hot, grueling, uncomfortable day sitting in the sun, directly on the concrete. I didn’t really prepare adequately, so I didn’t have a blanket, or lawn chairs, or a book, or baskets of treats, or bottles of water, or any other comforts that the prepared-people had known to bring with them.
It didn’t matter. I was going to stay, and protect my squares of concrete, and be there at the very front to see those fireworks, no matter what.
And were they amazing? Of course.
Was it all worth it? I think so, yes.
Would I do it again? Yes, absolutely — with a basket of goodies next time. 🙂
Watch the SydNYE (Sydney NYE) 2016 Fireworks with me….
Imagine yourself standing with me, right in front of the Opera House. Come on. Stand right there beside me. Put yourself there, and watch the fireworks from that place…..
What do you think ?!?!!
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, YES ?!!?!!?!!
Did you see the bird fly passed the fireworks? I did, even when I was there, I saw that!
Did you see the word “Sydney” spelled out in the fireworks?
Did you see the fireworks come out in the shapes of stars, circles, hearts, crescents, and spirals?
Did you see all the boats in the harbor? They were so fascinating.
What about the waterfall at the end? Did you see that? The waterfall is my favorite.
Just. So. Pretty!
So what’s the point of this story?
The point is…. sometimes you have to decide to do something that will be very difficult to do, knowing there can be a good reward in the end.
When you are dissociative and have an internal team of 5, 10, 20, 30, 40+ inner people, it can be very confusing to decide what to do new and different. For goodness sakes, it can be a major decision about when and how to brush the teeth, let alone doing something bigger and more complicated.
When you are DID, there’s no doubt that life will bring extra challenges, difficulties, complications, etc. But you already know that.
So what is it that you are going to decide to do this year that is a BIG thing to do, difficult even, but will be worth the effort in the end?
If you get the chance to travel and see some of the cool things in the world, or even in your local neighborhood, I certainly encourage you to do that.
However, I do remember that this is a mental health blog, so let me give you some mental health / therapy / treatment ideas for those of you who are dissociative.
Are you going to make a clear and solid decision to…..
- Truly commit to your healing by meeting all of your insiders?
- Give your inside people the time they need for healing?
- Schedule those extra therapy sessions when you need them?
- Let your teenage parts learn how to play the guitar?
- Stop hurting yourself, including your inside selves?
- Look at the truth of your history, even if it’s painful?
- Separate from and leave outside people who are abusive in your life?
- Express your feelings each week through art, music, poetry, dance, or some other creative option?
- Involve your whole system in healthy exercise on a regular basis?
- Teach your insiders how to cook and create healthy meals?
These are not small tasks I’ve listed. They may look “small” on paper, but they are, in fact, huge life-changing decisions.
Building sufficient internal cooperation to accomplish any of these tasks would be huge!
Exhausting? Of course.
Worth it??? Absolutely.
I challenge you, each and every one of you, to DECIDE to do something this year that will make a difference in your life, for the rest of your life.
Decide to do something difficult, but worthwhile.
Choose to do something that will make your life better.
And along the way, be sure to find things that add excitement, interest, fun, and happiness to your days. Let your life find goodness too! Have some fun, and enjoy living for awhile.
When it is a resounding yes, jump all the way in, commit to the process, prepare for the difficulties, and DO IT!
No matter what.
Wishing you the very very best in the New Year !
Copyright © 2008-2020 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
we did it
we did go to firwcs ol bi r sef
we did be brav
This post truly speaks to me. I have decided to move house after 30 years in the same town that I always wanted to leave. But had a job, was a single parent, etc. I moved into a retirement village about 3 years ago because I thought I’d feel safe but never have as break ins are common, some people are very unkknd – gossip, etc. my child parts never liked it here, “all old people”. My organised part continually comments on the increasing loss with exit fees. Have listened to those 2 parts & others and my protectors do say it’s time to move. But hard as $ tight as have to wait until unit sells to be paid. Am going to a bigger city & where I know people but no place clear to rent or settle. Am trying to stay present but hard not to just feel numb, tearful. But positive this is a necessary change – so that’s a positive. I encourage everyone here to find supportive people on your life journey & a home that feels good.
This year I/we will try to find some help that doesn’t contradict itself and confuse everyone. Want to do more than wear the mask and function. Need to work out how to trust and stop living in denial.
We are in the process of leaving the bad people. Even though it means separating from some very good people that don’t understand and starting all over.
A wonderful, inspiring experience of NYE in Sydney Kathy. I started reading your blog quite a few years ago and it was the most useful information I found. Then to discover, like myself, you have moved to Qld from the US is amazing. It is so important to focus on healing – I only came to helpful therapy in my 60s and agree it is so good to make such a commitment to therapy, healing, trying new things asap. Helen
Kathy Broady MSW says
Hi Helen — thank you for writing! I’ve been wondering about you… hoping to see you here again. Yes, it’s really cool to meet other “yankees” down under. It doesn’t happen as often as one would expect! But I’m glad we’ve connected on here, and really do encourage you to keep working on your healing. You’ve definitely earned some peace and quiet, that’s for sure! Take gentle care, and please stay in touch. 🙂
All the Jill People says
Well.. we don’t like fireworks. It’s the noise. Big trigger for us!
We like pictures of them and watching them on tv without the sound on. Not the same and wish we could stand to do that.
Getting more therapy time is out of the question.
We do have something in the mix that Kathy knows about though and really looking forward to that!
Think the biggest thing we are aiming for has to do with the special needs kids we work with. They bring such joy to us. It’s been a battle but we are still persue it.
It is kind of like fighting for our inside little ones. No one really did that for us.
The kids we work with.. a lot don’t have a voice. We are being a voice for them. There are people who are standing around just allowing some very young children to be overlooked.
Well.. we have started to get things rolling and are “fighting” for their rights.
It’s been very VERY stressful. Our goal is to get it resolved by this year.
In all of it, we have had to “loose” some kids we have become attached to. They are no longer in our care. This change is really for the best. This is an incredibly hard journey but those kids are worth it!
Every time we fight, we tell our inside little ones how important they are.
It has been a beneficial for them too.
We are also still working on staying away from a family member who is still having some contact. It’s better but.. still happening.
Would like to find a therapist specializing in trauma. think we have called just about every one. Not sure we are ready as the last one really hurt us badly. Maybe just try working on resolving the hurt and discord left. Not sure. .
Having to rebuild a totally collapsed system. Sigh
Maybe we can find something fun.. but we really have some work to do inside and out.
Aiming for more healing….
them firworks be so pretty
i wish i cud see them
1 time we did be vary brave
we go up in a plane and go far far away to anuther contry and it did be so amazing becuse we go far away to a new place
This year, after 19 years, we are joining a choir again!! We say 19 years, because it was right after our daughter was born 19 years ago that we stopped singing in the choir. Then we lost our “singing” voice.
We are also joining our local Fine Arts guild so we can share our art with others.
That was absolutely beautiful!!! Thank you for sharing that with us. Our biggest step this new year is/has been to connect with others with DID and not feel so alone with this. We have a good therapist who has spent this past year since diagnosis helping us to learn good grounding and coping skills while we begin internal communication and work on being able to sit with our feelings for longer periods of time. She is the only person we can talk to about this. Even asking for help was a big step for us/ that was always followed by punishment for our system so being able to say we are hurting, scared, even happy is/has been a hurdle to share. This website and one other are our starting point. Thank you for helping us have a forum to talk to and hear about what works/doesn’t work for others. So far we have identified and talk with nine inside alters, but we know there are others waiting for us to get stronger and be able to open ourselves to them and their stories of what they hold for us. Ok. We are rambling so we will just say one more time. Thank you so much!!!
New Years eve/day is nothing special for us. Just another day. Although every year we do like the long Twiloght Zone marathon that plays on the sci-fi channel. Other than that, we dont really get all excited. EVERY year, everyone says how the new year is going to be better than the last, and THIS is the year your dreams come true, and this is the year things will be better and wonderful… but after hearing that for so many years, we have realized that those are just empty words.
But with being brave and doing something new… we do that every day must walking into our classroom. It takes a lot of courageous every day to walk into that room, knowing the fight of the day ahead. Its always difficult, even on the best days. It takes a lot of us working together to get through the day, So most of every day life is an enough of an adventure for us, more of the time.
And, I am hoping it is worthwhile.
Thanks for the awesome reply! Ya know, we are a poly system and are basically all extremely co-con all the time. Once an alter comes out and i ‘meet’ them they can’t go back to “un-cocon” again…Cept the other system which i can’t see into…
I’ve always struggled massively with the tucking people away because once i or anyone else starts doing the thing they’re scared of they’re automatically ripped from inside and are either out or right behind me. It doesn’t really help either that the one who was so badly traumatized the first few times driving is the closest to me, is impossible to separate from me and has 0 ability to go inside or go deeper because we’re both kinda tied to the front of the body if that makes any sense at all….
Any suggestions for this situation? i’d love to be able to just be like ‘oh well, i’ll just go inside and take her with me and let one of the bigs out to do this’ but it doesn’t work either LOL. No matter how hard i try i can’t get inside or if i do its for a split second and i can’t stay there.
Atm we’re trying to work with one of the ANP’s/ISH’s to see if she can take on the role when we get too anxious…man, even just thinking about driving makes my hands shake LOOOL. But you’re right, its a vital skill and something even more important given we live 2 hrs from the nearest town or help should anything happen.
Good idea re: the NYE stuff, i’ll definitely give it a try, and imagining it with you does help already. When i read it heard the little’s go “oh! thats cool i wanna do that!” It was a drastic change in emotions emanating from them when they did it so thank you for that, i’ll definitely carry that on for other situations too.
aaah yes, those sydney prices are killer huh! Did you get a very big rude shock when you first came here from the USA? the prices of things are insane here, my friend in ohio is always gobsmacked when we tell her how jelly we are of her because the same item is generally 3x the price here LOL
better let ya go. have a great day! Stay cool in the heatwave. its hitting us now 🙁
Our big thing this year is getting our drivers licence. We were traumatized while learning at 17-18 yrs old and have tried several times to learn again, but always given in to the panic/anxiety attacks it brings.
This time, we have a different car, an easier car, the systems are in a better position. (nobody wants to purposefully drive us off the road this time lol) and we are more motivated to sticking through the hard times. The last time we tried we had a panic attack and were bawling our eyes out for a good hour while our teacher got frustrated and yelled at us repeatedly… this time WILL be different lol. We are sh!t scared but we will do it. It has to be done. And it will be worth it in the end.
So glad you got to enjoy your bucket list fireworks! Sydney puts on a good show for sure. Its a hell of a triggering night for us, the sydney ones in particular but we are doing better each year at dealing with the memories of that night and what happened for us.So we didn’t watch the video sorry.
Sounds like you learned some good life lessons about snacks, lawnchairs and blankets hahaha. Never go anywhere in australia without them! :p
Nice post i’m so glad you had a blast (pardon the pun 😉
Kathy Broady MSW says
OH getting a driver’s license is a very very big thing, especially since this time you are going to have a CEP — Corrective Emotional Experience (one of my favorite terms, 🙂 ) It sounds like you are in a much better place, with a much better framework around you. You CAN do this. Driving is essential for so many things in today’s world, so yep…. cheering you on.
Maybe some of the scared ones can hide deeper inside while “the assigned driver” takes the test?? Be sure to do some system work ahead of time, even let them practice tucking inside while you practice driving. But yeah… the ones who are the most prone to panic maybe need to tuck further away from the front. Use those dissociative switching skill to your advantage! Keep out who can manage the drive, and tuck away those who are scared. 🙂 Planning !!! You can do it !!!!
Glad to hear no one wants to drive you off the road this time — this is proof of definite progress!
As far as my road trip…. I really did have all those things packed in the car. But once I got to Sydney, I parked the car, and rode the bus to the Opera House. I just didn’t think to transfer my “goodies” from the car to my carry-bag. Ah well… I had a good time regardless, and they did have food and water available to purchase, for a million dollars, of course. A definite blast, yes. 😉
And you certainly do not have to watch the video. It’s good that you were even able to post on this topic. See??? You are doing things to help with overcoming past traumas. You are reclaiming more and more of NOW. They were wrong to be so cruel to you for any reason, but doubly cruel around an event that clearly repeats every year in such big fashion. No way to avoid feeling triggered by that, gosh.
OR…. Astrie…. you could turn the sound off (if that’s part of the trigger), and really imagine standing there with me. Not with them. Just me and you. If we were there together, could you see any of the pretty colors then?
Keep exploring different, creative, unique ways of reclaiming what they took from you. You shouldn’t have to miss out on anything good in life because of creepy guys. This might not be the time to try that fireworks idea, but keep it in mind for other situations. Get the good back for yourself — that’s the point. 🙂
Good luck on that getting your driving license — do let me know how it goes!
Thanks for this. Blog. Happy New Year’s. Still 2019 in USA. So you have a head start! Hope you are all safe. Seeing horrible fire pictures on our TV