Hello, hello!
I recently had the privilege of being interviewed by Brigid Fitzgerald from BeInspiredLiving.com .
Brigid has an exciting online business offering encouragement and support for women breaking free from the misery of midlife madness — particularly for women 40+ years of age looking to do something new, different, courageous, inspiring. She has blog articles, a series of short YouTube videos, an email course, and is currently adding podcast interviews with women who have made drastic changes in their lives.
As I made the giant change of moving from the USA to Australia in 2011, with nothing but a few suitcases in hand, Brigid felt I would be a good person to interview for her Be Inspired blog. Brigid said I was an example of a “gutsy midlife woman who has smashed the myths of midlife”!!
Wow. I felt honored to be invited for that!
(Yikes! A podcast interview! Something completely new to do … but okay… I’ll try it.)
The timing of this experience was very interesting to me. Brigid opened a door that I would not have opened myself. First of all, I had just posted my “Where Have you Been Kathy” blog article with some much needed explanations for the readers here. Secondly, many people still have additional questions about what happened the past five years, but I hadn’t found the right way or the right platform to address the questions that people wanted to ask.
And then out of nowhere, Brigid — someone very new to my life — presented an opportunity to for me to answer some of questions that many of you want to know.
Now, I must admit, I was excited to do the interview, but quite nervous and anxious at the same time. You can hear that in my voice! I’m not experienced at live recordings, and not being sure what questions she was going to ask me, I was very unsure. In the interview, I’m talking fast, I say “ummmm” about a million times, and my thoughts bounce around from place to place.
And seriously, do I really sound like that?!
(Yes, yes, and yes, I realize it’s going to take quite some practice for me to be a good podcast speaker!)
Of course, in all my anxiety, and in the heat of the moment, I forgot to include certain things in my responses to her questions.
If you listen to the podcast, and if you’ve been reading through this blog, you will already know some of the information I forgot to say.
I wish I remembered to talk about…
- the dugong that swam right beside me, touching the side of my leg, the very first time I swam in the ocean. I was convinced it was a shark that lost its fin! Who knows what a dugong is anyway??!!! We don’t have those in Texas, and they certainly don’t live in Canada!
- the balcony full of 12 different kinds of birds that visited me every day, sometimes many times a day (remember all the bird stories?). Those magpies, peewees, lorikeets, and drongos were such great pals when I first arrived in Australia and didn’t have my precious pugs and bulldogs with me.
- having pugs and bulldogs that might not survive a very, very long and possibly hot ride in the cargo section of an international flight, confined inside a dog crate for extended hours (those adorable smushed noses lead more breathing problems and less ability to manage higher temperatures)
- the 6-bypass open heart surgery that my father had while I was away, nearly taking his life
- the cancerous tumor the size of a grapefruit sitting on my father’s intestines that had to be removed while I was away – another life threatening ordeal for him to manage
- completely changing my hairstyle, cutting it drastically short, and blasting it bright red
- learning Tai Chi and learning to sloooooow down
- seeing dozens of kangaroos and little tiny koalas in the grass beside the road — I mean, wow, now how cool is that?!
- the wild peacock that lived with me at “the goat house” and having heavy rainstorms completely wash away the bridge and the road to my house….! Living stranded inside the mountains!
I answered most of Brigid’s questions with the years of 2011 and 2012 in mind. There is so much more that could be said, but I hope this 52 minute interview helps you to understand some of what you didn’t know before.
And even though it was a little scary for me to put this out there, I do hope you find these stories interesting, and maybe a few parts of it entertaining. Most of all, for those of you who have been waiting and wondering for a few years of time, I hope this personal information fills in some of the gaps that you may have about me.
Please Be Inspired, and have a listen to this podcast:
Kathy : Arrived in a new country with 2 suitcases
And if this small portion of my life story does inspire any of you to have the courage to make big changes in your life, that’s excellent news.
Be brave!
If I can make big changes, so can you!
I wish you all the best in your healing journey.
Warmly,
Kathy
PS: Since I referenced the atrocities of “Snake Mountain” in the podcast, I’ll share a few “nice” pictures of that experience. Even though it was completely bizarre in some ways, it was still very beautiful.
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
Awesome, good for you Kathy! All the best with your endeavours. Practice makes perfect.
Sent from my iPhone
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Thanks Marianne, it will definitely take a lot of practice to be perfect at podcasting!!! BUT, one day, I certainly hope to do more podcasts, and also to add sound clips to these blog articles so people can listen to them, and not just have to read. That’s a big goal, but hey — I can do it. 🙂
Thanks for your comment. 🙂
Warmly,
Kathy
Kathy,
Very courageous and helpful to us! It did fill in some gaps. It sounds like there were many things that led to the change, not just the need for a break from work. That was a thing .. Not the main thing.
We really didn’t think about what was going on. For us, we thought you had gotten busy, no more, no less. You had mentioned a couple of times some major changes. We still didn’t give it much thought. Life certainly happens to everyone, including therapists.
We are glad you shared this! Too many therapists don’t open thrmselves up. They take the theraputic boundary to a level far beyond what it is meant to be. The therapist tends to be less human.. And has no emotions, no life really. We never liked a therapist who didn’t “let us into their world”.
You have done this to a certain extent. Bravo! Thank you for that!
Thank you, Jill. Yes, it’s a very wobbly, zig-zaggy line for where to balance and place that therapeutic boundary correctly. It’s definitely important to be real enough to be a real person, even if you’re a therapist… and yet, there’s that professional distance that’s also required… and the need to stay focused on the client, and to not give the client unnecessary worry. Does anyone else do that?? Do you OVER worry about your therapist??? I know a few of those… 🙂
For me, life certainly DOES happen!! And it’s okay that it does, because all those difficult things give me deeper understanding of what other people struggle with in their own lives. If I don’t “get it”, then what value do I have to bring to a Consultation???
If you hang around me for awhile, Jill, you’ll definitely learn more about me. I typically chatter away, telling lots of stories… and I’m sure there will be plenty more where these come from. 🙂
Thanks for listening to the podcast. I appreciate that!!
Warmly,
Kathy
Another something from us: we relistened to the podcast this evening, one of the things that was mentioned was what ever was stressful or chaotic can stay over there..”I don’t want it in my life.” You said.
Got to be honest.. Working with DID is stressful and chaotic. We just are. We can’t help it. So.. Just wondering how you can be “two places at once”. How are you going to still work with us in the DID community without being exposed to that?
Just don’t see that as a possibility. We get told way too much, “how difficult we can be”. There must be some truth in that no matter how painful it is to the people it is being told to.
Don’t think anyone wants or willingly decides they are DiD although We had one councilor who told us that DID was a choice on our part. Yes.. We know how much of a “problem” we can be.
All we want is out of our own chaos.. But in the process.. We tend to drag others along. We see this with many people with DID.
How can you push chaos aside while still embrace the chaos that working with DID brings?
Just asking……
Good question, Jill.
I certainly thought long and hard about exactly that. I know full well how difficult it can be — my 25 years in the front lines more than schooled me on THAT!
So here’s how I am resolving that dilemma. First of all, I’m staying more in the Consultant role. Not only am I across the ocean from most of the readers of this blog (yes, the biggest percentage of readers are from USA, Canada, or the UK), so based on that alone, it’s difficult to take on the lead therapist role. So I’m not volunteering to do that.
Consulting is very different. You maintain your local therapist for all the many reasons you need to see your local therapist, including having someone nearby for some of those crisis moments. As a consultant, I can step in, from time to time, and help guide through some of the tough spots — where people get stuck. It’s a very different role than being the front-line therapist. As a Consultant, I might talk to someone once a month, or once every five months – depends on how things are going. I might be able to schedule a Consultation call for that exact same day, or it might be weeks away. Again – it just depends on how it works out.
Secondly, — and this will become more obvious over time as I have the opportunity to finish my goals — I will be taking more of an educational approach at this point in time. For example, I hope to have a dozen eBooks and over a hundred educational videos teaching different aspects of the healing process. I’m a Looooong ways from completing any of that, but that’s the goal! 🙂
The benefit of being an educational Consultant is that I can build products and materials that help LOTS of people. Doing a full schedule of therapy hours truly limits how many people I can help. There are a limited number of hours in a week, and I do get tired. But writing the healing tools that people need, and then providing a community where I can teach ways to use those concepts in the healing process, that allows for more people to learn how to work effectively with their DID.
The vision I have minimizes the amount of chaos that I deal with directly, but increases the amount of education and support I can offer. At least that’s the plan!
We’ll see how goes as time goes by….. 🙂
Thanks for listening to the podcast so carefully. I do appreciate that!
Warmly,
Kathy
We listened to your podcast when we were experiencing a lot of anxiety internally, and it really helped us to distract and listening to you helped us relax. Thanks for sharing some of your story. We could feel how difficult it was for you to do that, and hope it was helpful for you to do that. Definitely makes you more of a real person and not some perfect fantasy of a person who is not real.
It will be really cool if you could figure out how to make more audio clips talking to
us so we can have you near when we need you. Just a thought from us. We so appreciate your generosity in helping our community.
You are a good person, Kathy Broady. Thank you.
Just wondering where the line is from “just worrying about your therapist” to “over-worrying” about your therapist lol?????
And – seems to me the “therapeutic boundary” also needs to change over time in a relationship as the process evolves, and this is a very indefinite one on a blog like this as it’s read by many in many varied stages of their journeys and who must have very varied expectations of who and what you are to them, Kathy, and so, also having very different needs? Your call where and how to balance all of that in a way that suits and fits for you, isn’t it?
Oh, good point, Kallena. Because it’s exactly that — the therapeutic boundary does change over time, typically, because the longer you know someone, the more they know about you, whether you intend for that to happen or not. In my experience, dissociative survivors are highly watchful, extremely vigilant, and can absorb information and catch on to patterns quicker than a kelpie, lol. That’s a good thing, especially in comparison to the number of clueless people out there who don’t seem to be aware of much of anything….
But yes — some folks here have been around for years, and are aware of lots… others are brand new, and there are folks anywhere in between. And for me to expose anything personal on this blog, I have to remember that the whole world would / could see it…. so you know, it takes a fair bit of consideration to be willing to say some things to just anyone. Not that the whole world reads here…. but they could!! 🙂
And as a whole…. I don’t want ANYONE here to be worrying about me. But how to handle that, and how to accomplish that is a whole different matter. My approach is just to be “away” when things have been too complicated for me to be able to be here with a free and clear mind. I write here when I am feeling good, positive, up to the task, feeling strong as the mentor that I am in this element, etc. I am willing to be vulnerable at times, but I will pick and choose those times. As a whole, I am tremendously mindful of being the leader, and having to maintain strength, emotional stability, and the ability to encourage others.
But being away, sets up the other concern — abandonment fears quickly raise wobbly, terrified wide-eyes and angry lashes out. Understandable… but hard to balance as I don’t want to expose my whole life to the world to see and read about everyday. So yep…. it’s a definite balance. I can’t be away for too long, because it will create troubles THAT way.
It’s a fine line…. but I’ll still stick to the task and do my best to balance it. 🙂
Thanks for your comment — well said.
Warmly,
Kathy
Oh wow Kathy! We just listened to this podcast. You’ve had quite a bit of things happening. we are so glad you’ve taken the time for yourself. We are also very glad you have kept this blog going.
The stories were incredible too!
Thank you for sharing.
Rainbow
You are brave and inspirational to other women.
You are a beautiful person, with a beautiful soul!
Kudos on your podcast and also what you do for the DID community.
B
Thank you, Barbara. Thanks for reading here and for all your participation, too. I appreciate you, and it’s been good getting to know you in little ways. I was sooo nervous during that podcast. Thanks for listening to it! 🙂
Warmly,
Kathy
This is fascinating.
Thank you for listening to that podcast, Andrea. I have a whole lot of stories to tell — some a little funnier than others, lol.
Speaking of funny, it’s funny-uncanny that you posted on this article this week. Right at this very moment, I am in correspondence with 3 more podcasters who want to have discussions about DID and who knows what, lol.
Guess I better get my speaking skills more polished, lol.
Thanks again,
Kathy
I have loads of experience with public speaking. I think you did a great job with your story-telling.
Hi Kathy,
This was awesome! Yes, I could hear how nervous you were, but I could also hear, confidence, vulnerability, sincerity, aliveness, courage, joy, compassion, creativity, connection, grace, gratefulness, love and adventure! All of that, and then some! What a beautiful person you are, and such a great role model! I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this podcast… so entertaining and inspiring.
I’m so sorry for the difficulties that beset you. I feel your pain at having left your dogs (and family, too) behind, and can hear how much you love/d them. I am a very big dog (animal) lover and have had the honor to love and be loved by them, deeper and more connected than with any person. I love, love, love all of nature and travel, too.
I’m grateful to get to know you a little better. And I’m grateful to your parents, because you are, and for their share in what they’ve given you to be able to do what you do for us, with so much love and heart and soul… the way you live your life.
I’m grateful Brigid did this interview/podcast with you. And I’m very grateful to have to you and DD in my life. <3
naturluvr
Also, I wanted to add… I started my life over 3 times… moved clear across the country. The first time with what I could fit into a small U-Haul trailer. The second 2 times, with only what I could fit into my little, Honda Accord, leaving enough room for my 2 dogs and one cat. The 3rd time, was to a place where I did not know a soul, with just enough money for one month’s food and rent. I know the fear, excitement, and adventure all of that entails! : )
Hi All,
Thank you for pointing me in the direction of this podcast Andrea and Naturluvr. I am always amazed at what blogs pop up here when I most need them. This one was certainly very inspirational and instructive (i.e., as in filling in some blanks).
You may have been nervous Kathy but I did not really hear that in your responses. I did hear you tentative at fist but what you were trying to put into words were some deeply personal and traumatic events in your life. That is certainly pause for thought and consideration. Otherwise, I felt that the interview flowed beautifully and showed wonderful personal insight, thoughtfulness and humour. You came off very warm, open and full of joy. Just a perfect blend of humanity, dedication to your own journey, kindness and devotion to your DID folks and a whole lot of giggly, life affirmation.
My gut feeling is … polished can sound contrived, phony and rehearsed. What you were was clear, open, human and fun. I vote stay as you are because you are just perfect the way that you are in my books!
ME+WE
06/06/18