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You are here: Home / Depression / Remembering Favorite Memories instead of Re-living Bad Memories

Remembering Favorite Memories instead of Re-living Bad Memories

By Kathy Broady MSW 13 Comments

Spunky little silver kelpie, 20 days old.
Spunky little silver kelpie, 20 days old.

 

During trauma recovery and the road to healing for dissociative trauma survivors, there is so very much focus on bad memories, abuse memories, body memories, painful memories, icky memories, difficult memories, vacant memories, your memories, their memories, nobody claims them memories….

Of course, this memory work is part of healing, and resolving the conflicts and heartbreak as much as possible is crucial.  I understand that.  However, it’s about as much fun doing memory work as it is going to the dentist to address chronic tooth pain.  While the end result is positive, the treatment is painful, uncomfortable, difficult, and sometimes excruciating.

So as we are coming to the end of another year of your life, let’s focus in a different direction.  

I know you know you’ve been hurt.  I know and I know that this pain consumes you, so very much of your every single day.  And most of you — well, probably all of you — have had new experiences this year that were still painful, heartbreaking, stressful, and sad.  I sure have.  

No year has been perfect for me, and I doubt it has been for you.

Ouch!  Enough of that hard stuff.

So for awhile — just a little while — let’s take the time to think about something positive.  

I know, for a fact, that something good has happened for you this year.  It doesn’t matter how big or small, but I can guarantee you that something good has happened at some point in time this year.

Encourage your mind and every single everyone in your system remember the good times too!

 

    • What are some of the good memories you will keep from this year?
    • What is something you would like to remember?
    • What happened this year that you are glad it happened?
    • Did you have a “this is the best thing ever!” moment this year?
    • What moments brought smiles to your heart?

 

I’ll share some of the happy and positive highlights from my year, 2015, in order of occurrence.

 

Joe Bob, at a few months old, still figuring out how to hold his ears upright.
Joe Bob, at a few months old, still figuring out how to hold his ears upright.

This little dog, Joe Bob, has brought hours and hours of joy into my life this year.  He definitely helped to make happy days happen!  

He has his own personality, his favorite games of tug o’war, his funny barks, and gentle hugs.  

Oh, and those funny ears.  How can they not make you smile ??!!!  Those ears have definitely made this year great!

Thank you, Bobbsy!

 

 

Beautiful Rainforest Rainforest Flowers

I had the fortunate opportunity to spend time in an incredibly beautiful rainforest this year.  

Nature, in all its splendor and beautiful colors brings joy to my everyday.  

I would not enjoy life as much this year without having such natural beauty to see.

 

 

Oh, and I got to meet some very interesting birds this year!  It may seem weird, but yes, birds have their own personality too.  I spent quite some time with a wild peacock and his two girlfriends.  They were entertaining!

 

Wild indigo blue peacock still growing out his tail feathers.
Wild indigo blue peacock still growing out his tail feathers.

 

Of course, meeting my new little grand daughter made the highlights!  

All babies truly are innocent, and some little faces are just too precious!  It’s a joy to see a little tiny new life loved and cared for.  If only, if only, if only all parents were kind to their children…..

Precious Brayleigh, 3.5 months old

Of course, you all know my new puppies have made the list.  No further explanation needed there!

 

These pictures represent just a very few of my good memories this year.  I could post ooooodles more.  

But I’m interested in hearing what was good in your year?

 

What did you enjoy this year?

And three cheers for a better year, every year!

 

I wish you the very best in your healing journey.

 

Warmly,

Kathy

 

Copyright © 2008-2021 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

 

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Filed Under: Depression, DID Education, DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotional pain, Fun!, mental health, Puppies, Therapy Homework Ideas Tagged With: Bad memories, Body Memories, Dissociative Trauma Survivors, End of the year, Memory Work, Newborn babies, Positive memories, PTSD, Remembering the good things, What made you smile?, Wild peacocks

Comments

  1. Daria says

    October 11, 2020 at 3:35 pm

    this year? absolutely nothing, we suffered a lengthy major depressive episode beginning before christmas which lasted till late April, during which we were housebound and actually don’t remember much of it. when we came out of we discovered that we were in the midst of a pandemic and had lost all our mental health supports, which was very frustrating to say the least. finally, in June or July they relaxed the restrictions allowing us to see our trauma therapist in person. since then we’ve been merely surviving really. we have no daily routine, our agoraphobia has become crippling, and our DID symptoms have only become worse, in particular the flashbacks and nightmares.

    now, last year we had the opportunity to go to Walt Disney World twice, which was absolutely amazing. Disney means a very great deal to us, it is our anchor during our darkest days. it represents, for example, the happy childhood we never had, it means magic, it means hope. the simple hope of returning to that place of wonder and dreams has prevented us from suicide on more than one occasion.

    Reply
    • MissyMing says

      October 14, 2020 at 3:27 am

      Yes! Daria….Whatever type of hope you can hang onto….for us – BIG hopes are too much right now – so we hold onto “little” hopes….like – I hope I make it to the end of my day without looking TOO weird….hope I complete my little project before I fizzle out on it….hope I can figure out how to deal with this computer stuff that seems to be so over my head….hope…hope…hope…

      It is what we hang onto….Having the hope of returning to Disney World sounds awesome!! 🙂 We have never been – but would love to one day go to Universal Studios where they have all those movie scenes and re-enactments….don’t know which ones I would pick….I already get “lost” in what I watch on TV – so it would be like doing the real-life thing! 🙂

      MissyMing

      Reply
  2. Rylie says

    June 18, 2020 at 11:22 am

    playing in a river and swimming and falling down and laughing

    Reply
  3. Lindsay says

    November 16, 2018 at 2:16 pm

    We discovered our local mental health recovery center, have become less dependent upon our therapist, became open on facebook about our mental health struggles, joined some facebook based support groups. Have rehomed many items in our home to reduce clutter and stress. The shopping addiction has completely stopped.

    Reply
    • Lori says

      November 17, 2018 at 4:31 am

      Hello Lindsay
      That great about the shopping addiction. That must of been so hard to over come. I would rank that up there with food addiction. Just for the simple fact like food you can’t just stop. You need food to eat so you can live. You need to shop so you can get your basic needs meet. So proud of you to have such self control. Awesome Job! Well Done!

      Reply
  4. Kennedy says

    July 3, 2018 at 9:10 am

    Off the top of my head, I cant think of anything from this year, so far. It’s only July so we have time coming up with stuff.

    However, we do remember past fun, good, healthy, enjoyable times…

    We have been to the Atlantic and the Pacific oceans, and the Gulf of Mexico, to ride the waves, see the sunrises and sunsets, run from waves, body surf, and find sand dollars, sea urchins and sea shells.

    We have hiked up in the Blue Ridge Mountains, and all over Mt. Rainier, Mt. Shasta, hiked all through the Redwood Forest, saw the sights in Hollywood, learned how to hang-glide in Kitty Hawk, NC. (Where the Wright brothers invented airplanes.) Took a plane up over the ocean and had many many times camping and hiking in WA, OR, CA, NC, OK, and TX. We’ve seen Niagra Falls, the Grand Canyon, flew to Sun Valley to ski for a week, and had lots and lots of weekend trips to anywhere we can think of.

    Remembering is good. We cant seem to remember good because we block the bad. But, we have had some pretty spectacular times in our lives. This was really fun. Thanks KBear. I know this is old, but it is useful and brings joy to us right now.

    7/2/18

    Reply
  5. Jo says

    January 2, 2016 at 3:18 am

    Holidays and changing where I live two great moments of 2015. I also have Sam, my dog who never fails to bring a smile to my face.

    Reply
  6. Pilgrim says

    December 31, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    We did get to visit are famley

    Reply
  7. Loren Grace says

    December 31, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    Well… great exercise in thankfulness! 🙂 I just recently started in the whole healing process, so I feel like a baby compared to some. But some of the good things are: I have gotten in touch with parts of me that I had forgotten about since childhood, and that has made me happy. And I started sharing more and being open about who I am, and that’s always a good thing. And I got rid of some toxic relationships that were holding back the healing process. That was very tough, but in the long run, one of the best thing I’ve done probably in my LIFE! The toughest things can sometimes end up being the best things. 🙂 So… all in all, it’s been a hard year, but a good one at the same time. Although, there were a few days (okay… weeks…) that I thought I wasn’t going to make it, I’m very glad I have been able to stick it out, continue living, and continue healing. Plus, I’m glad I found your blog. So much awesome info and support! Thanks for all the work you do here.

    I love the pictures you shared. Thanks! Congrats for your new precious granddaughter! She’s just lovely! And your dog and bird are great! lol Love it!

    Good thoughts and blessings for 2016!

    Reply
  8. manyofus1980 says

    December 31, 2015 at 5:28 am

    We started college this year. We love it. It was the highlight of her year. Happy 2015 I hope you have a great 2016 next year Cathy

    Reply
  9. Pilgrim says

    December 30, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    sombuddy we love lots visitid and we got to spend time with them and that made us so happy and we did love to see her lots
    we did get to have summer vacashon

    Reply
  10. Nancy J says

    December 30, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    and travel through photographs, etc. So I really appreciate posts like this

    Reply
  11. Nancy J says

    December 30, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    Lovely and fascinating reminisces. Thank you for sharing. I am bedridden

    Reply

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