Happy Holiday Greetings, and Ending those Unhappy Holidays

At two weeks old, little silver kelpies look like little silver bells. — At two weeks old, my little silver kelpies look like little silver bells. Or little pretty rats, lol.

Happy Holiday Greetings!

I hope you have had a great holiday season so far. My hope is that you are making these days as beautiful and special for yourself as you can.

There are lots of ways to provide Christmas cheer for your DID system, even if you are in a rough spot.

Please read through this blog if you don’t know what I’m talking about.

At 2 weeks of age, these puppies still had their eyes unopened. They will be able to see soon, very soon, but not yet!

Holidays are not always fun times for people who have experienced severe family dysfunction and chronic abuse. It can be as heartbreaking to feel family pain, rejection, chaos, and conflict as an adult as it was as a child.

You might have hoped those old troubled relationships could be or would be better by now.

And been sorely disappointed when they weren’t.

Man! That still smarts!!

It hurts!!

Precious little face. So fresh and new to the world.

So please know I’m thinking of you.

And thinking of the family troubles and struggles that continue year, after year, after year….

Please remember, that the best way to help your hurting heart is to step further away from the people that hurt you.

Be willing to let go of the old hurters in your life, and find the courage to build new relationships of positive, healthy, kind, and cheerful significance.

Slowly learning to walk, and starting to separate from the pack..... — Slowly learning to walk, and starting to separate from the pack…..

Do what you can do for yourself — and for your insiders — and with your healthy relationships to create something unique and memorable for your system this holiday season.

Start separating more and more, and more some more, from the people who hurt you. Then get creative and brave enough to build new relationships with those that don’t.

Hard choices…. Very hard. I completely get it. This is not an easy task.

But there are ways to have happy holidays! And happy unholidays too. You can have lots and lots of days that don’t have to be filled with repeated injuries from people that hurt you.

Be brave enough to decide enough is enough, and that you don’t have to comply with abusers anymore.

No more unhappy holidays for you — you can do better!

Warmly,

Kathy

Comments

Jill says
December 28, 2015 at 2:55 pm

Not for us. The holidays have been unpleasant for a long long time. We want to see our grandchildren but are not allowed to. Some of this is due from not being able to find “good help” for DID. Mental illness carries much stigma. It keeps us from doing much of anything including being able to spend time with family.
Holidays also hold much pain for us. It holds many memories of abuse and loss. It hurts. We would like to be happier.. But just don’t think it will ever happen. We are a lost cause

sherry says
December 28, 2015 at 5:29 pm

Yes, I too hate the holidays. I have DID due to SRA. It was a terrible time growing up. Christmas Eve when I was 3 years old, my parents let a man come in to rape me, intentionally. I hate Christmas and always will, because of all the abuse and heinous crimes. This year is even worse. I did have a relationship with my sister the last 7 years, even though she was one of my abusers growing up. I was able to forgive her, knowing that she was just a product of what was done to her. However, she still engaged in some ‘bad behaviors’ and struggled with serious addiction. I stopped talking to her this last summer, because she was acting ‘not nice’ and was just out of control. I wanted a relationship with her, but I had to ‘protect’ myself. She wouldn’t get help and Overdosed on November 22 of this year. For 3 years prior, I tried fervently and desperately to ‘help’ her, but to no avail. It grieves me so much, because I desperately wanted to ‘save’ her, and knew that ‘what had happened to her’ couldn’t be fixed’. I’m struggling to forgive my parents for destroying 3 children emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

anemonerosie says
December 28, 2015 at 7:05 pm

Such pretty puppies!

Pilgrim says
December 28, 2015 at 8:45 pm

I wish i had 1 of them puppys kathy they do be so cute

chita dana says
December 29, 2015 at 2:27 am

Thanks Kathy!

rachel says
December 24, 2016 at 4:37 am

Christmas sort of be hard. even tho it is fun. its both. it be hard to not be around pepol you love. it be hard when evreybody be far away. it dont feel rigt to spend christmas mostly alone and not have family. and worry about pepol that dont be around. that make christmas kind of stressfoll. it be kind of a lonley holladay but at least santa comes.

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