I still believe that developing excellent internal communication and effective team work are critical elements for working with Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Here are a few ideas to encourage you to start talking with your insiders.
Copyright © 2008-2017 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
I have what I call a multi verse versions of me. I have had trauma after trauma basically my whole life. I definitely hear them in my head and they all have different opinion and wants, I also have emotional amnesia and regular amnesia but I remember as if it was someone else or like it was told to me as a story. I don’t feel connected to my body. I don’t feel alone in my body. I don’t always register my face as my own. I’m confused and disoriented. I can hear and feel them but I don’t have an inner world. Iv been misdiagnosed so many times and no one really understands me. I’m also autistic. Does any of this sound like possible did ? Also I dissociate a lot and I have a little and others
I was working really hard on internal communication because I was trying to do therapy differently this time around. I have been out of therapy for 12 years, and things were going pretty well until an extended traumatic event happened in my life that brought me back into the chaos.
Anyway, I learned this time around that there is a method to the madness of DID therapy (before, no one bothered to tell me about the method, and just let me stay in crisis after crisis therapy–never getting anywhere). So, this time I learned about these stages and have been working hard on internal communication. It was going great, but then my 10 year old daughter needed me because she was starting to have a lot of emotional problems.
The stress of it actually made me pull it back together with my highest functioning parts so I could best take care of her. Now, I think my daughter is ok, but things are mostly very quiet inside. Even though my therapist says I have DID, I think maybe I don’t because I can pull it together like this and it is not so crazy.
Assuming the T is right, I am torn between continuing to try to do internal communication work or just hope that things hold together this time. It is so hard, and I am so far away from so much of my system. I wish I could do something to speed things up or at least feel productive.
Kathy Broady says
Thanks for your comment. You’ve mentioned some very important things…. First, crisis after crisis really impedes good healing, yes. And finding a way to stabilize is important AND possible. Very well done. I’m especially pleased to hear that you were able to address your daughter’s needs and put her care as the top priority. That’s excellent. Very very well done.
Your insiders may be cautious too. It’s a big deal for them to come back out after tucking away that far, so approaching them slowly and gently is ok. They may be worried about there being enough time for them, and hopefully, everyone wants to avoid making new crises! Maybe they need reassurance it is truly ok for them to be around again? Some future life event may trigger your insiders out, whether you plan for that to happen or not. It could be to your advantage to build some teamwork while outside life is quiet.
I’m sure you and your therapist can make a decision that works best for you. Listen to inside too — they get a vote as well. 🙂
I am in therapy right now and on and off over the years. I have had every diagnoses, to the lasted being D.I.D.
What I get confused with is that I don’t feel like multiple people, but more like wounded parts. When I go into these parts, my outer perception changes and I get different memories for each one.
I tend to get lost in these parts and its more like I’m in them than out. I do hear voices at times but more like a committee of different people that I don’t know who they are.
Often I feel more like I have Alzheimer’s than anything in a sense of not knowing where I am at times and everything seems different. I’m finding more and more that when these parts do come up that I get a pounding headache and often times feel very drained after and confused, like my brain shuts off.
From your experience and knowing, is this D.I.D?
It just seems that this is not the same as what others have described.
Many thank you’s.