Self injury….. A frequent and common topic for dissociative trauma survivors.
Have you been struggling with thoughts of self harm?
Do you know why you need to self harm?
In this video, Self Injury 2, I ask lots of questions about self injury — questions you are meant to ask yourself. Genuine questions to think about, because if you can seriously start to answer these questions, you will get some much-needed insight into your patterns of self injury.
Self Injury 2, by Kathy from Discussing Dissociation
Self Injury 2, by Kathy from Discussing Dissociation
Do you see the bees?
There were hundreds of them in that bush, all buzzing around!
Why am I sitting so close to all those bees in the video?
My wish for you is that you will be able to free yourself from the patterns and expectations of ongoing self-injury.
You have been hurt enough already.
You really, really don’t have to continue hurting yourself or your insiders.
It’s okay to feel, and it’s very very okay to be safe from more harm.
Be kind, gentle, and comforting to yourself instead.
Try self soothing, instead of self injury.
Stop the abuse, even the self-inflicted abuse.
I wish you the best in your healing journey.
Copyright © 2008-2017 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
I am not understanding where this “hope” is coming from that you see. For our t, I’m a ‘dont ask dont tell’ type person. If she doesnt care to talk to me, then she doesn’t know what “I ” have done. I’m new to talking/being out, but I don’t think she likes me much cuz she doesn’t talk directly to me. There is probably others who want to tell of the SH, mainly the “core person” , but shes not talking much anymore, shes a pathetic blob.
ps, you dated your post from the future! Are you speaking to me from the future? haha
Wow … I am so very happy that you asked me about the “hope” that I see in you. First, however, I would like to say that I am very impressed that you are posting here since you are new to talking and being out. That is super courageous of you and super smart too. When we start to talk and tell our truths, we start to find understanding about ourselves and we find hope.
You see Unknown, I feel that there is wonderful hope for anyone who seeks the enlightenment of our core truth. Because it is in knowing where we come from that we can take control of our lives and chart a better route for where we want to go to in peace and wholeness. Voiced truth releases the shackles of trauma locked in silence and invites healing in.
Your boldly told your truth here Unknown. You watched the video, you found yourself triggered and acting out and you stopped long enough to write the posting (at the very least). I find great hope in all of what you said. You (and maybe others that you share the system with) were looking for information on self-injury. That signals to me that you are trying to find information to help yourself NOT self-injure. Well, in my mind, you picked the right person (Kathy) to help you with that. Big star of hope on that one.
Then, you found yourself trying to self-injure. You recognized what was happening, that you were being triggered by something in the video and you tried to find some understanding of why. To me that is a big step in your healing journey. When we mindlessly self-injure, we seemingly have no control over what is happening or means to stop it. But, you saw that you were self-injuring. That is the first step to stopping it. We cannot stop what we do not first acknowledge is happening. You not only saw what was happening, but you tried to figure out the “why” of what was happening. That is a big one. You may not figure out all of the “whys” but a little knowledge can go a long way to finding less damaging ways to deal with the “whys”. Knowledge is power. Two big stars of hope there as far as I am concerned.
Finally, you reached out and talked to us. We know where you are at Unknown because we are all on the same journey to growth, understanding and healing. Talking to one another can help engender hope in our hearts and minds because we know that we are not alone. I am so sorry that your T is not receptive to talking to you. Maybe she needs to hear your voice more to truly understand and connect with you. Keep trying there. And, if that does not work out, know that you have a community of friends here that DO want to hear what you have to say. There is hope in sharing.
I am not sure if this makes sense to you or not Unknown. If not, please keep asking me to clarify. I am always happy to explain my thoughts … when I can figure them out myself … hahahaha!
I am not sure how my date is being read. I do time travel and have been known to connect with the Other World so … who knows. ☺
Take good care Unknown and know that I am always here to listen.
*** trigger warning ***
Well, me+we, i didnt follow your hope story stuff at all. I was listening in for why people think SI shouldn’t happen. but i find it very useful, nobody has convinced me otherwise yet so i will continue.
I agree with what ME+WE has said. There is definitely hope when you choose to not stay silent. Being open about it, even anonymously on a blog is a great step. It does not mean the struggle isn’t still there, or that it isn’t really hard, because it is! But it says to me that you’re getting so very tired of the struggle and maybe, just maybe, you’re ready to get out. That’s encouraging to me.
I found my hands trying to self injure while watching the video. Like a protest to considering stopping!?! How can there be hope for me?
I believe that there is hope for us all. I feel that you made a big step towards hope by posting here. You have shown great kindness and concern for yourself by checking out this blog and by writing your concerns here. We cannot heal what we do not know or turn a blind eye to.
You looked straight on this topic Unknown. It is obviously an issue that has a whole lot of triggers for your insiders. But, you persevered and, even more remarkably, you managed to keep yourself from self-injury. I think that that is incredible. It is not about having those urges. It is about learning to negotiate through them and keep from acting on them. You did that. Good for you!
Now, this is obviously an issue that you will have to work on with your insiders. I hope that you have a T to help you navigate through this. It may be important to find out who in your system wants to self-injure and first work to stabilize them and find safe alternatives to harm. Then you can get to work on the why so that you can teach that insider another way of dealing with their feelings and to heal from them.
Oh and you have already shown that there is so much hope for you and your insiders Unknown!
the bad people were good at making injeries look like a accident
its always a accident
then they laughed
now i always make it look like a accident to
i hate myself
What do we do when parts are not just doing si, but also making the body very, very sick from things like infections due to E. coli? We’ve been hospitalized several times in the last 6 months due to horrible infections. The only explanation is a part of us is doing this TO our body.
We are tired of hospitals.
I know what i need to give it up. And i will never, ever get it in type of way, because its too late. And the other thing i need to give it up, i probably wont ever get either.
Kathy, you said it is ok to feel. What if you can’t feel most of the time? What if you are numb? Like your legs and arms are numb a lot. Like physically numb. And you can’t help it. Can’t make it go away. What if it feels like you haven’t seen your counselor for a long time and then find out you have and just don’t remember it? You can feel like you always need to see her. What if nothing feels real? Thank you for your blogs and videos Kathy! They are much appreciated 🙂
Kathy, you say it is ok to feel. What if you can’t feel and you can’t control it? What if you are numb so much of the time? Like physically numb. Like you can’t feel your legs or arms a lot of the time. What if you can’t remember seeing your counselor or talking to her? You always feel like you need to go see her because it feels like you haven’t in a very long time. But you find out you have been going to see her. What if nothing feels real? Thanks for your blogs and videos Kathy. They are much appreciated 🙂
Interesting… We never have been uncomfortable standing right next to bees or other bugs (the kids like to watch insects)- when they do bite, it hurts but not really, because we can step away from it so easily. One time we got bit by three bees at once (maybe four) and after the inital sting, it didnt hurt after a few seconds.
That said, stop standing near bees, Kathy!!
The Manic Years says
I’ve been having some SH thoughts of my own lately. What if inflicting physical pain IS being kind to ourselves? Don’t get me wrong, i’ve battled through this and been SH free for a number of years and been happy with it not in my life (until the shaky start that was last year), and I would never promote it, but lately I’ve recognised that this physical pain feels so much better than the anxiety felt inside. It s like i’m giving myself a ‘holiday’ away from it such actions are carried out. Just a thought.
Thanks Kathy great video I don’t like bee’s either. I have a question. I’m in counselling about six months now and self injury is a big problem for me right now but how do you resolve this when its an insider who is doing it? I dissociate and then find myself harmed etc
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