How do you define yourself?
I saw this beautiful poem tacked to the wall of a kind and generous charitable organization. I read it over and over, and couldn’t leave without writing it down. I do not know the author, but whoever they are, they have put a wonderful, inspiring message out. I am pleased to be able to share it with you.
So many of you feel defined by what has happened to you, or by what your Abusers said you were.
But I challenge you now.
I challenge you to read this poem, and to question your old definition of yourself.
I challenge you to define yourself to be who YOU want to be.
Not what “they said you need to be, for their purposes” according to what they required — but what YOU say, who you would like to be, defined by the kind of life you want to live.
How do you define yourself?
I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my past.
I define myself by the courage I’ve found to forge new roads.
I do not define myself by how many disappointments I’ve faced.
I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.
I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted.
I define myself by how much I have loved, and been willing to love again.
I do not define myself by how many times I have been knocked down.
I define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.
I am not my pain.
I am not my past.
I am that which emerged from the fire.
.~ Author Unknown ~
Wow.
Powerful words.
To me, this poem describes the lives of most dissociative trauma survivors.
The roadblocks, the disappointments, the challenging relationships, the hard knocks, the pain.
But also, this poem describes survivors who found and built and created the courage, the forgiveness, the faith, the love, and the strength to stand again and again and again….
To me, you are an inspiration.
A symbol of hope, strength, and resilience. A testimony of the beauty in mankind despite fighting and facing the worst of mankind.
What do you think?
Can you feel these qualities in yourself? They are there. I see them, I see them in every one of you. So yes, I know they are there.
Who have you grown to be?
How do you define yourself?
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2017 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
Wow! I love those words put together that way. A strong, positive message that I really need right now. Thanks Kathy.
Really like this.
I always thought that when i grew up i would be someone important. Pretty. A real adult. Over all this. I thought i would be a mom and have a family. I thought i wouldnt have inside peope anymore
This is how i define myself: loser.
I dont know if i will ever be who i thought i would be.
I don’t define myself by the scars I see in the mirror everyday. I define myself as a strong warrior princess that will never give up!
EXCELLENT, Sunshine !!! VERY pleased to hear that. Good for you — that’s going to help you go a long long ways. I like your strength, your optimism, and your hope. Well done.
Cheers for you —
Kathy
we think of ourselves as
nobody. no one special. easily forgotten. plain. no one. not important. dont belong anywhere. not good for much. t doesnt matter to other people how we feel or what happens to us. we are only good for what we can do for other people. not particularly likeable. unwanted . we feel lile a tornado inside. just nobodies. it would be nice to feel different, but what if we got big heads or something from trying to feel important when we know we’re not?
I have been really struggling with the “letting my abuse and abusers define me” issue for several weeks now after having thought I had put it behind me. One of my biggest challenges in healing has been to not believe I am the person my abusers said I was. I fight tremendous self-hate just about every day because I cannot let go of the person they said I was. I needed to read these words, and receive more support around this issue, and I thank you so very much for both.
Definition Of I
As broken with pieces scattered everywhere .
With weak glue holding some together…..
A façade that hides the weakest parts.
So they can grow strong ……
Child like .
But strong…
I is we .
A group formed for survival ….