Hello Everyone,
This article was recently reblogged by a reader. There is a whole lot said in this article. I decided that reader was right! It gives lots to think about. Please be sure to read through the 25+ comments as well. Your thoughts are welcome too, as always.
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation
Linda,
They exist and they are real. You exist and you, too, are real.
I suppose I could draw them if I could draw but that’s not my strong suit. I do see internal landscapes and people. Some I recognize. Some are just shadows in the woods. It’s a wide spectrum.
I’m glad you found us here.
Wren
11-28-2017
I am new to the diagnosis however long before I was told of it I had been building “Worlds” for Us. I have been doing this since I was 7yrs old. I am older now and I draw and paint those places. Because of the detail, I am told perhaps I do not have DID and just “live in my head” It hurts. I cannot deny I have these internal beings that live within me. They comfort me, bring me joy, pain, fear, sorrow, anger and so much more. They do exist. They are real to me and have been with me since childhood. Some have left and joined me and others I have started to become “aware” of. Can you “see” your people in a special way and draw them out as well?
Hi Linda,
Well, that is really confusing when you know what your reality is (i.e., that you have insiders) and others tell you that you do not. I am not sure if you have gotten a diagnosis of DID yet but that might be worth exploring with a credible professional just to give you reassurances of what you know is true. You know your reality. You do not have to prove that to others. Certainly not to us here because we know the kind of doubt and denial that we face as DIDers.
Now, having a detailed understanding of your insiders and where they live is not something to use to discount you having DID. If it was, then I would not have DID either! I have a VERY detailed understanding of what my insiders look like (well, most as a few are still a bit distant with me) and where they live.
The first insider that I was aware of (in my early 20s although I did not understand that it was an insider) lived in a cage. I could see it and her as vividly as if my eyes were open and I was actually looking at a little girl in a cage. Eventually, I was able to go into the cage with her and interact with her. I did not like her caged so we went through my house (in my mind not physically) and we found a spot that she liked. We built a tent and brought in blankets, pillows and stuffed animals. The other little girls (four in total) all go to the safe place now when needed.
My insiders live on a beach most times and in the forest next to the beach (there are two distinct groups). That started when my T helped me calm myself with a guided meditation. I chose a beach. Then one day when I went to the beach in my morning meditation, my first little one met me on the path to the beach. Over time, it has become populated with others. I have explored various regions of the beach with my insiders. Other insiders live up in the forest. I am not as familiar with this space because I do not go there much at all. There is one spot that we do go to – a reflecting pool of healing waters. All very complex and detailed so much so that I could easily draw a map of the space/place. If only I could draw and paint like you Linda, I could easily show what the place looks like.
As for my insiders, I can describe them in detail as well down to eye colour, hair colour and style of cloths that they like to wear, etc. My T asked me if I could draw them to show her what they looked like but I could not. So, I went on the Internet with them in turn and they picked out pictures that they thought looked like them … well, as close as we could get. And, they described themselves to me for a little blurb about each one although I knew much, if not all, of what they told me. So, now I have my insiders family album of pictures and detailed descriptions of what they look like, what their likes and dislikes are, personalities, etc. I wish that I could paint them to give an absolute accurate portrayal of them.
So, I guess that the answer to your question – “Can you ‘see’ your people in a special way and draw them out as well? – is an emphatic YES!!!
What has been your experience Linda?
ME+WE
11/28/2017
I really appreciated the insight in this article. We’ve been struggling through some trauma work and one of the younger parts gets stuck in the bad places.. so with this info we were able to create a safe place inside where everyone can go and be safe and have some peace from the scary parts. Now its kind of made me able to start processing the stuff we have been walking through without the intensity of feeling like its happening right now.. I dont know if that makes any sense… but anyway thank you!
Hi Dizzy,
Thank you for your comment, and yes! That makes perfect sense! You’ve caught on exactly to what I was speaking about. I’m so very pleased you’ve found a way to do this because, yes, it is extremely helpful and does lower the intensity. Well done. 🙂
Welcome to Discussing Dissociation. I wish you the best on your healing journey. Keep up the good work!
Warmly,
Kathy