• Home
  • About
    • Kathy Broady, MSW
    • Laura Boettger, LPC
    • Testimonials
  • Consultations
    • Phone Consultations
    • Email Consultations
  • DID Education
    • Hiddenton Bear Dissoci-ACTION Story Packs
    • Dissociative Experiences Scale (DES)
    • Scoring the Dissociative Experiences Scale (DES)
    • List of All Articles on Discussing Dissociation Blog
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Liability Agreement
    • Privacy Policy
    • Disclaimer of Liability Agreement
    • Kathy’s Waiver of Liability
    • Laura’s Waiver of Liability
  • Dissociative ART
  • Contact

Discussing Dissociation

Thoughts from a DID Systems Specialist

  • Healing Process
    • DID Education
    • Mental Health
    • Online Therapy
    • Power of Music
    • Therapy
    • Therapy and Counseling
    • Therapy Homework
    • Transference
  • DSM Diagnoses
    • Anxiety
    • BDP
    • Compulsive Hoarding
    • Depression
    • DID/MPD
    • Dissociative Identity Disorder
  • DID System Work
    • Artwork
    • Child Alters
    • Integrations
    • Internal Communication
    • Introjects
    • Stories for Child Insiders
    • Bears of Hiddenton Point
  • Trauma and Abuse
    • Domestic Violence
    • Mind Control
    • Emotional Pain
    • Fear
    • Physical Abuse
    • Ritual Abuse
    • Self Injury
    • Sexual Abuse
    • Trauma
  • Funny Stuff
    • Fun Bird Videos
    • Fun!
    • Maggies
    • Puppies
    • Uncategorized
  • Supportive Helpers
    • Family Members of Trauma Survivors
    • Friends of Multiples
    • Supportive Spouses
    • Trauma Therapist
    • Prevention of Sexual Abuse
  • TV and Video
    • HBO’s Series “In Treatment”
    • Kathy’s Video Comments
    • One Life to Live
    • United States of Tara
    • Podcasts
You are here: Home / Child Alters / 10 Comforting and Corrective Truths for Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors

10 Comforting and Corrective Truths for Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors

By Kathy Broady MSW 17 Comments

The little baby is right! It's not the child's fault!!
The little baby is right! It’s not the child’s fault!!

 

Every survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) that I know has a lot of enormously difficult days when they struggle desperately with feeling bad, feeling lousy, feeling at fault, feeling pain.  Those struggles can last for years.  Healing does come, but on those difficult days, remember what is true.

 

When the hard days come, it might be hard to remember….

  • It was not okay that anyone touched your body in ways that hurt you.

  • When you were young, it was never your fault that your body was sexually assaulted. You were not responsible. You are not to blame.

Upset Little Girl

  • There is nothing that any child can do, ever, that would make that child deserve sexual abuse, including you.

  • ANY adult that touches a child in sexual ways is completely inappropriate and wrong to do so.

  • Instead of hating and hurting yourself for what others did to you, treat your wounded heart, soul, and body with kindness, gentleness, and respect.

  • No matter what shape or size or color or height or weight of your body, no one ever had the right to sexually engage you as a child.

 

This powerful photo was found at www.innocent justice.org
This powerful photo was found at www.innocent justice.org . You are not a bad person even if bad things happened to you when you were young. You were not a bad baby. You were not a bad child. You are not bad. You were innocent.

 

 

  • You are not a bad person even if adults forced themselves upon you when you were a child. What they did was bad. What you did was endure the pain.

This strong photo was found at https://vsco.co/shaylinjanelle/images/1
This strong photo was found at ShaylinJanelle
  • The bad you feel belongs to the adults who did sexual crimes to you. You are not the bad one. They are the criminals.

  • You were a precious, beautiful child. Even if ugly yucky things happened to you, you are beautiful. Then, and now.

 

 

 

Don’t believe the ugly garbage that your abusers said to you.

 

 

You are beautiful.
You are beautiful.

 

 

Believe in yourself instead.

You were innocent, and you are beautiful.

 

 

I wish you the very, very best in your healing journey.

Hold tight.  You can do this.

 

Warmly,

Kathy

 

Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation

Related Posts

  • Negative Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse Survey

    To help further understand the implications of treatment for childhood sexual abuse, AbuseConsultants.com would appreciate…

  • 10 Truths for Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse

    Sexual abuse experienced by adults can be a difficult and complex situation. These 10 truths…

  • 50 Treatment Issues for Dissociative Identity Disorder

     "50 Treatment Issues for Dissociative Identity Disorder"    A comprehensive listing, yes, but even so,…

Filed Under: Child Alters, Depression, DID Education, DID/MPD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotional pain, Family Members of Trauma Survivors, mental health, Physical Abuse, Self Injury, sexual abuse, Therapy Homework Ideas, Trauma Tagged With: childhood abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Comfort, Corrective Emotional Experience, Corrective Experience, CSA, I'm not bad, Innocence, It's not my fault, It's not your fault, sexual abuse, Trauma Survivor, You are beautiful, You are not bad

Comments

  1. Pamela says

    August 26, 2014 at 12:05 am

    Great post!

    Reply
  2. manyofus1980 says

    August 26, 2014 at 12:27 am

    Reblogged this on Multi-Me.

    Reply
  3. Pilgrim says

    August 26, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    Not butifil. Im so ugly 🙁
    Ugly in side and out side
    m.

    Reply
    • Kathy Broady says

      August 26, 2014 at 8:14 pm

      Little Pilgrim m,
      That’s old thinking hanging around your brain… Try shaking it off. Shake that real hard. It’s very important to try new thinking, and to look at yucky things with new thoughts. Lots of ugly things have happened to you, I’m sure. You aren’t the yucky thing that happened. You are you, a young, innocent little person. And yes, you can be beautiful too, as beautiful as any other child in the whole world.

      Imagine that for a bit. How would that feel? What might it be like to feel beautiful?

      Warmly,
      Kathy

      Reply
      • m says

        March 31, 2020 at 2:56 pm

        Thak yu lady
        I rele wat to balef yu
        I red ol this agn
        I dont like to be a ugle litl grl
        I dont like to be drte 😞
        I want to be big
        I want to be prete
        I want to be imptint too sumbde
        I want sumbde to love me
        I want to be good

        Reply
  4. peoplepuzzlepieces says

    August 26, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    That’s all fine and dandy for when you were a child but what about when it continues on into adulthood? Whose fault is it then? It feels awfully like the blame should be at least partly your own. What are your thoughts on that Kathy?

    Reply
    • Kathy Broady says

      August 26, 2014 at 8:02 pm

      You’re reading my mind, PPP! I have plans to follow up this post with one based on adult-aged sexual abuse because yes….. That’s a significant and very unique situation. Related but completely different from childhood sexual abuse, for sure.

      I hope to post that in the near future…. Because yes, I have things to say about that.

      Thanks for the very brave comment.
      Warmly,
      Kathy

      Reply
  5. Pilgrim says

    August 29, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Im not inosent.i wish i was. I dont no what it wuld feel lile to be butiful. Mabey pepole would like me then. Mabey then pepole woudlnt get mad at me or hate me so much. If i was pretty pepole wouldnt get so mad. If i was butiful mabey i would be happy. I never was inosent ever. I dont no what thats like. I dont no. I just sond stupid. I dont no.

    Reply
  6. Ourselves etc. says

    November 21, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    I notice here – and most other places – that abusers are ‘adult’. What about other children? I’m struggling, still, with whether or not something was wrong as it was other children involved, and not adults. In some ways, I feel that having an adult betray me in this manner would make it a lot easier for me to accept that maybe it shouldn’t have happened.

    I’m just struggling and confused. And someone inside can’t deal very well with those memories. Are they entitled to feel bad?

    P.S. Who is the beautiful girl in the picture?

    Reply
  7. wendy says

    July 27, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    my dad told me one time i was almost getting to pretty to get mad at all the time.
    but i guess i am not pretty becuse people get mad at me all the time.
    i tried to stick up for myself the other day when somewon tried to mess with me,
    it seemed ok at 1st but then in back fired on me.
    i dont no if i will do it agan,
    i hate being a girl.

    Reply
  8. LiL Ones says

    September 21, 2018 at 7:07 pm

    “You Can Do This”. Are ya Sure?
    Some days I think so. Some days I’m not so sure. It’s Hard Kathy. Really Hard Work. I’m Holding Tight Cause Today is a Hard Day. Tomorrow just might be better. I’ll Hold Tight.
    Thank you for this Blog. I’m not alone.

    Reply
    • ME+WE says

      September 22, 2018 at 3:20 am

      Hi Lil Ones,

      I am so sorry that you are going through a rough day (rough time). You are certainly not alone here. We are holding gentle, comforting space for you here. You are super brave to have posted and that shows that you are super courageous in making sure that you survive each day.

      “You can do this” … most definitely you can because you already have. As much as it is hard now, you have gotten through the worst all ready. And you are not alone this time around. You have your friends here who care, listen, understand and want to help in any way that we can.

      With gentle hugs (if you like hugs).

      ME+WE
      09/21/18

      Reply
  9. Lindsay says

    October 11, 2018 at 10:23 am

    We really needed this tonight….
    Thank You!

    Reply
  10. Amy B Robinson says

    October 13, 2018 at 9:59 am

    I would like to remember all of these great words when times for us are overwhelming. They all are true when we can think.

    Reply
  11. Missy says

    February 19, 2019 at 2:59 am

    What if the words are , “it’s not my fault I cannot help myself your so beautiful? I can’t help but love you” and these word came with the feeling of shame and pain feeling of being dirty

    Reply
  12. Nessa says

    March 2, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    I just had some really hard ritual abuse memmories surface my psychologist said exactly the same stuff so I don’t think its a coincidence I came across this hes also said it’s not happening right now oooh I hurt so bad right now

    Reply
  13. ME+WE says

    March 6, 2019 at 7:53 am

    Hello Nessa,

    I am so sorry that you are hurting. Memories help us to understand so that we can heal. That does not take the pain away but it offers hope for the hard times. Honour your pain, grieve it and then hopefully, one day, you will be able to let it go. Hang in there. We are here to listen and help however we can.

    ME+WE
    03/05/19

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Support this Site

Your relationship with this site is greatly appreciated!

Discussing Dissociation remains free (and ad-free) for dissociative trauma survivors all over the world. There are hundreds of articles and thousands of helpful comments. The amount of information and guidance you can find at this site is exemplary. As this site grows, the time, costs, and energy required to maintain DD increases significantly each year. It’s free for you, but not free for me.

If you find support, encouragement, and value in what Discussing Dissociation provides for you, please consider supporting this site with a monthly cup of coffee for Kathy, a working lunch, or healthy treats for the puppies.

MONTHLY RECURRING DONATION

  • $5 /month
  • $15 /month
  • $25 /month
  • $35 /month
  • $55 /month

ONE-TIME SUPPORT

Unique offers of support are valuable as well. Select any amount of your own choosing to give as a one-time offer of support and appreciation.

Need to cancel your recurring support? Go here.

Let’s Connect

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

About Me Here


Kathy - a clinical Social Worker, surrounded by kelpies, who enjoys puzzles, pianos, pizza, pretties in nature, and people with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Read more

Looking For Something?

Popular Posts

  • This Christmas, for those in need…
  • 10 Tips For Spouses and Partners of Survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder
  • 20 Types of Dissociative Splits
  • Introjects – What are Introjects?
  • 20 Signs of Unresolved Trauma
  • Do You have Athazagoraphobia?
  • What is a Perpetrator Introject in a Dissociative DID System?
  • Working with Difficult and Destructive Alters
  • Don’t Touch My Stuff !!
  • The Love / Hate Relationship for Borderlines

Recent Comments

  • Shiro on 10 Tips For Spouses and Partners of Survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder
  • May on 10 Tips For Spouses and Partners of Survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder
  • Daryl on Videos for DID Systems and Dissociative Trauma Survivors
  • Shiro on THANK YOU for a Wonderful 2020! WE had a GREAT YEAR!
  • Pearly on Do Dissociative Trauma Survivors Actually Lose Time?
  • Caden& kids, even Judah ;) on THANK YOU for a Wonderful 2020! WE had a GREAT YEAR!
  • MyCircleOfLife on Thank you, and Merry Christmas Eve
  • MyCircleOfLife on A Thank You to Santa’s Reindeer
  • Daria on Do Dissociative Trauma Survivors Actually Lose Time?
  • MissyMing on Do Dissociative Trauma Survivors Actually Lose Time?
  • MissyMing on 2. Still Our Normal Complicated Selves — Keep on Writing!
  • Daria on Holidays for DID Trauma Survivors… Making it Nice for the Littles
  • MissyMing on Getting Back Those Lost, Missing Chunks of Time
  • MissyMing on What Holes are in your Healing Sidewalks?
  • Missy on A Thank You to Santa’s Reindeer
  • Daria on Do Dissociative Trauma Survivors Actually Lose Time?
  • Sarah on 10 Tips For Spouses and Partners of Survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder
  • Daria on Overcoming Instability Issues and Unsuccessful Memory Work
  • Elly on Qualities You’ll Find in an Exceptional DID Trauma Therapist
  • ophelia on What Happens to the Light?

Copyright © 2021 Kathy Broady, MSW. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Kathy Broady, MSW. Discussing Dissociation accepts no liability for advice or information given here or errors/omissions in the text. It is merely intended as a general informational overview of the subject for healthcare professionals, trauma survivors, and those reading the DiscussingDissociation site.