Sometimes Christmas can be a time of joyful exploring.
And seeing wonderment in the bright eyes of children, and enjoying new sights and sounds. Christmas can be about playing, smiling, laughter, warmth, togetherness, creative imagination, happiness, and carefree innocence.
Maybe you know how this feels, coz sometimes Christmas isn’t so fun…
Yet….. sometimes Christmas isn’t so fun…
It can be a sad time.
A lonely time.
A missing the people you love time.
It’s not the Happy Christmas, Merry Christmas kind of time.
It’s even more lonely and more terrible to be having a sad day when “everyone else in the world” is having the most wonderful FUNderFULL day. (Or so they say, anyway….).
Sometimes Christmas can bring out all kinds of grumpy, grouchy and angry feelings. Family conflict, stress, everyday life troubles, trauma, all kinds of things can happen to turn our Happy Holiday season into something really not so good at all.
It’s worse than Bah Humbug…. Christmas for these folks is genuinely difficult, and so very not okay.
Why does this time of year have to be so painfully complex and complicated?
Why do we all struggle so?
Why can’t people just get along, and never even visit all of that scary yucky violence stuff?
Why do families have so much conflict?
Why does hurt have to happen?
Why can’t we genuinely find the peace, love, joy, and happiness that Christmas is supposed to represent?
Oh dear, oh dear…. (Says the deer…)
If only we could make this cold world a better place.
How can we do that?
So if being mean and cruel to each other feels so bad, it seems to me that at least part of the answer is to do the very opposite of what doesn’t feel good.
Instead of hurting each other, we need to be kind to each other.
Instead of abusing each other, maybe we could learn to be friends, or at least find a peaceful tolerance of our differences.
Instead of being hateful, maybe we could try acceptance, or forgiveness, or caring, or gentle giving.
Unfortunately, it is often so very difficult to get along.
I know this stuff is easy to say, and so very very difficult to do. To truly understand another person’s point of view that is so starkly different from your own takes a tremendous amount of work and finesse. It’s not easy to do, not at all. In the heat of the moment, most of us would rather throw sparks ‘n darts than give hugs to the irritating people who are annoying us.
Dissociative folks have even more emotional layers to manage during holiday times. Not only are there hustling ‘n bustling crowds of outside people, but also the intricate layers of inside DID system people — DID insiders who have so many different points of view and varying perspectives on the holiday season. Argh.
How do we ever make sense of it all?
(Photo by Morning Call photographer, Kevin Mingora)
One step at a time.
One person at a time.
Sharing joy, one situation at a time.
Having fun, one little insider at a time.
This holiday season, try doing something fun, kind, generous, peace-encouraging, or joy-creating. Show warmth to someone you would rather snap at — including your DID system insiders.
Instead of throwing eggs at them, try giving them a helping hand. Do the unthinkable. Surprise them with goodness.
Or what about making each ‘n every one of your days more Merry-er-er-er-er?!!
What if you could somehow help the people you see genuinely feel better after they’ve passed your way. What kind of freaky weird challenge would that be?!
hmmmmm…. but then again….
We typically say Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays to everyone (mostly).
Yet how can we give everyone — or anyone — a Merry Christmas unless we try to do something Merry?
Just a thought….
Sending it out.
Let’s see what happens.
And yes, I really do hope you have a beautiful Christmas Season.
Bring JOY to your world!
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
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Pilgrim says
December 25, 2013 at 8:42 pmWe only asked santa for 1 thing but i think he nose we done bad stuff this year becuse he didnt bring it 🙁 we only wantid 1 thing that was all i dont no what is so rong with us even santa dosent like us.and we miss are family so bad to.were so lonley.
Alex Isackson says
December 25, 2017 at 6:22 amPilgrim
I also asked Santa for just one thing. I must have been bad cuz I didn’t get it either. I’m just gonna wait, hope and pray.
Trauma And Dissociation project says
December 26, 2013 at 4:54 pmReblogged this on Trauma and Dissociation and commented:
Is it a Merry Christmas or not? Have you been spending time with animals? Here are some lovely animal pictures. #didlittles
Kathy Broady says
December 23, 2014 at 8:30 pmReblogged this on Discussing Dissociation and commented:
I do understand that the holiday season isn’t so happy for everyone….
Do you feel like the sad little pug or the ol’ grumpy cat shown in this article? Lots of folks do…..
If so, here’s a blog remembering you.
Warmly,
Kathy
pilgrim says
December 25, 2017 at 11:27 amwe feel bad for missy becuse she started crying at church becuse she miss gramma so bad and mae want to go home to be with her famly
rage be having bad picshers in his hed and he be real sad cuz he dont under stand crismas and he dont get it about santa but he say santa dont gona bring him any gofts cuz he ben so bad
we dont no if he gona get any thing and we feel bad for him we hope santa bring somthing that can be for him
We love christmas but some of us be very very sad becuse we cant be with the pepole we want to be with
nobody says
December 28, 2017 at 1:52 amyesterday on the other side of the country our family had a big christmas party. 1 of the bad people put pictures up. all them was laughing and smiling and having fun.
they all be such a family.
but we dont ever been part of it. 🙁
i would give anything. to have a family. to have a friend. anything.
ME+WE says
December 28, 2017 at 9:16 amHi Pilgrim and nobody,
I am so sorry that this holiday has been so hard on you. I am thinking that we are all struggling in our own ways. That is why it is so important that we keep coming here and talking so we can get through these times together with folks who really understand. You do not have to explain yourself here or what is happening because we know.
Now nobody, you said, “i would give anything. to have a family. to have a friend. anything.” I hope that you can feel that you do have a family and a whole bunch of friends here. We may not be the “normal” kind of family and friends that we wish for but, then again, we are not exactly living in the “norm”. We are here for you nobody to support you, befriend you and show you the kind of family/friendship that really matters – kinship born out of mutual respect, regard and compassion for one another.
We are never alone here friends.
ME+WE
12/27/2017