Sometimes Christmas can be a time of joyful exploring.
And seeing wonderment in the bright eyes of children, and enjoying new sights and sounds. Christmas can be about playing, smiling, laughter, warmth, togetherness, creative imagination, happiness, and carefree innocence.
Maybe you know how this feels, coz sometimes Christmas isn’t so fun…
Yet….. sometimes Christmas isn’t so fun…
It can be a sad time.
A lonely time.
A missing the people you love time.
It’s not the Happy Christmas, Merry Christmas kind of time.
It’s even more lonely and more terrible to be having a sad day when “everyone else in the world” is having the most wonderful FUNderFULL day. (Or so they say, anyway….).
Sometimes Christmas can bring out all kinds of grumpy, grouchy and angry feelings. Family conflict, stress, everyday life troubles, trauma, all kinds of things can happen to turn our Happy Holiday season into something really not so good at all.
It’s worse than Bah Humbug…. Christmas for these folks is genuinely difficult, and so very not okay.
Why does this time of year have to be so painfully complex and complicated?
Why do we all struggle so?
Why can’t people just get along, and never even visit all of that scary yucky violence stuff?
Why do families have so much conflict?
Why does hurt have to happen?
Why can’t we genuinely find the peace, love, joy, and happiness that Christmas is supposed to represent?
Oh dear, oh dear…. (Says the deer…)
If only we could make this cold world a better place.
How can we do that?
So if being mean and cruel to each other feels so bad, it seems to me that at least part of the answer is to do the very opposite of what doesn’t feel good.
Instead of hurting each other, we need to be kind to each other.
Instead of abusing each other, maybe we could learn to be friends, or at least find a peaceful tolerance of our differences.
Instead of being hateful, maybe we could try acceptance, or forgiveness, or caring, or gentle giving.
Unfortunately, it is often so very difficult to get along.
I know this stuff is easy to say, and so very very difficult to do. To truly understand another person’s point of view that is so starkly different from your own takes a tremendous amount of work and finesse. It’s not easy to do, not at all. In the heat of the moment, most of us would rather throw sparks ‘n darts than give hugs to the irritating people who are annoying us.
Dissociative folks have even more emotional layers to manage during holiday times. Not only are there hustling ‘n bustling crowds of outside people, but also the intricate layers of inside DID system people — DID insiders who have so many different points of view and varying perspectives on the holiday season. Argh.
How do we ever make sense of it all?
One step at a time.
One person at a time.
Sharing joy, one situation at a time.
Having fun, one little insider at a time.
This holiday season, try doing something fun, kind, generous, peace-encouraging, or joy-creating. Show warmth to someone you would rather snap at — including your DID system insiders.
Instead of throwing eggs at them, try giving them a helping hand. Do the unthinkable. Surprise them with goodness.
Or what about making each ‘n every one of your days more Merry-er-er-er-er?!!
What if you could somehow help the people you see genuinely feel better after they’ve passed your way. What kind of freaky weird challenge would that be?!
hmmmmm…. but then again….
We typically say Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays to everyone (mostly).
Yet how can we give everyone — or anyone — a Merry Christmas unless we try to do something Merry?
Just a thought….
Sending it out.
Let’s see what happens.
And yes, I really do hope you have a beautiful Christmas Season.
Bring JOY to your world!
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation