Hello to everyone,
This week I was digging around looking and looking and looking for that one thing that I put somewhere where I would never lose it…. (and yes, of course, I simply could not remember where that particularly important never-to-be-forgotten filing place was, argh!!!!) …. but in searching and searching and searching, I found several other treasures I hadn’t seen in quite some time.
One re-discovered treasure was an article printed in “Many Voices”, April 1994.
This article, called “100 Strengths I Have” was submitted by Kimberly B. and was an exercise done in an out-patient group I had at that point in time.
We used an exercise described in the book Journal To the Self by Kathleen Adams, M.A. The goal of the exercise was to list out 100 positive qualities that each group member found in his or herself, or a positive quality they recognized in trauma survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Each person was to come up with at least 10 positive traits — no editing allowed. As a group, we called out our positive ideas, one at a time. Any repeats were allowed. My thinking was that if the same positive trait was mentioned more than once, then it was a particularly strong strength, and in being so, it could have the extra recognition it deserved. We wrote our list out.
I liked seeing this list, and while some of you may have seen the 1994 Many Voices publication, there is a great big chance that most of you haven’t. I have decided to publish it here, and hopefully, it will be good for you to see as well.
What strengths do people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID / MPD) have? Here are the first 32 (column one), listed in the exact order and the exact wording that we spoke of them in our group that day, nearly 20 years ago.
1. An affinity for animals
2. A protectiveness of others
3. Broad life experiences
4. High tolerance for pain
5. More coping skills
6. Incredibly polite!
7. Willing to oblige other people
8. Investigative skills
9. Good bullshit indicators
10. Connecting skills
11. Able to handle pressure
12. Block out distracting or hard stuff
13. Many talents
14. Many interests
15. Lots of different clothes
16. Different hair do’s!
17. Different hair colors!
18. Different attitudes towards things, perspectives
19. Being able to figure out people easily
20. Self-adjusting and monitoring — no batteries required
21. Stamina
22. Learn not to care so much what other people think
23. Protective of others
24. Sympathetic
25. Empathetic
26. Lovable
27. Spiritual; sense of hope and faith
28. Realize life isn’t black and white
29. Ability to deeply feel
30. Ability to perceive more around us
31. Outsmarted our abusers
32. Don’t take things for granted
Isn’t that an excellent list?
This is only one-third of the list, the first column from the Many Voices publication, but it is a great great start. I will post this much to get it out there, and continue with the next 70 items in future posts.
AND, before the whole list is out there, I want to invite the readers of this blog to add your list of 10 positive qualities for being dissociative to this list, and I will post them along too, and the new and improved list of strengths.
If YOU have ideas to add to the list, please do write your thoughts out in a comment, because it is true.
There ARE good things about being dissociative.
There ARE good things about your life, about your, about your abilities, about yourself, about your talents, about your thoughts.
You DO have lots of positive qualities.
What positive qualities can YOU add to this exercise?
I’d like to hear your thoughts!
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2017 Kathy Broady MSW and DiscussingDissociation
Thank you! Needed this today!
1. Persistent
2. Chameleon
3. Ambidextrous
4. Strong “perp radar”
5. Creative
6. Bookworm
7. Trust animals more than people
8. Not afraid to be alone
9. Slip in to various talents (selves) like clothes
10. Have extra senses, stronger senses.
very interesting–I wonder if there’s ever been research on characteristics of people affected by dissociative disorders?
Here’s mine:
1. Great at reading facial expressions
2. Sensitive
3. Introspective
4. Very independent
5. Resilient
6. Detail oriented–notice things in the environment others don’t
7. Adapting
8. High emotional intelligence
9. creative
10. not superficial or materialistic
It’s kind of a weird question Kathy. It’s a pathology, not a gift. But if you ask what good comes from suffering, I get that…So here are my top 10 from suffering:
1. You get to meet people who are amazingly empathetic and helpful and then find opportunities to do the same for others
2. You get to think about despair as a needed companion to hope,understand the relationship, and practice its lessons
3.You get to understand benevolence
4.You learn new ways to explain, articulate, or discuss your experiences
5.You’re able to introduce others to innovative ways of doing things or being with you
6.You learn how to interpret others’ coded phrases for help or pain
7.You get to practice forgiveness (i.e. systems, providers, family, friends) and gratitude (helpers, opportunities, life)
8.You get educational opportunities and new language skills (i.e. structural dissociation, explicit/implicit/autobiographical memory…)
9.You get to understand the width & depth of the experiences making your advocacy efforts for change more credible
10. You get to recognize that suffering, even when it makes no sense, matters. Your painful experiences may make you more sensitive and compassionate to someone else who believes they don’t matter.
It’s not a simple “listing” but nothing about me is 🙂
this is excellent! thank you for posting and thanks everyone who contributed in the article or comments
Reblogged this on Trauma and Dissociation and commented:
My 100 strengths by Dissociative Survivors -if you have Dissociative Identity Disorder check this out!
I have the ability to contain information much like a tape recorder. I can tell a person precisely what they said. It is often taken from others as a put down and it often gets me in trouble. It does benefit me when detail is important. ?
I see this ability in other DIDers as well. Ok you all… I think this is a great trait. Whether we remember something good or bad said.. It was said. Be that court reporter and dictate things others don’t remember at all!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!!
Good point, Jill. I’ve known several DIDers who also had this ability.
Amazing brains, that’s what I say. Truly amazing brains. 🙂
K.
We can look at any situation and see every possible outcome and every affected person’s point of view with ease.
We have unique takes on moral and ethical issues and can see both sides of those arguments
One person can learn a new skill and it can be filtered through so even a 3 yr old knows how to do it. (we’re currently learning to drive and our 3-5 yr olds are the best drivers :/ )
We are easily amused, fulfilled and grateful for the simplest of things, even if it’s just peace and quiet.
We are not generally very materialistic. And can bond easily with ‘things’ over people.
We are extremely creative and imaginative in every facet of our life not just arts and crafts/writing etc.
We are extremely practical and logical.
And that’s all i have for now. lol
Hey Weebs,
Oh that’s great! And those are some definite strengths, that’s for sure.
I like to see when dissociative folks can genuinely see and claim their own strengths. Albeit by necessity, there’s such a heavy focus on the terrible stuff — it’s like a breath of fresh air when someone can see the good stuff too.
Thanks for that!
Keep on rockin’!
Warmly,
Kathy
This blog slays! follows while taking notes
Benefits of DID:
never boring
adaptable
badass
protective of children
generous
survivor
intellectual
hardworking