Where have you been, Maizy? And what were you doing on this day, Maizy? Where did you get that giant cookie, Maizy?
Maizy likes cookies.
In fact, Maizy likes so many different kinds of cookies that it is impossible to know which kind of cookie is the very best cookie in the whole world. I happen to be a fan of snickerdoodles. They are my personal favorite. But then again, chocolate-chip cookies are marvelous, and oatmeal-raisin cookies are terrific, and jam-filled shortbread cookies are heavenly.
This sugar cookie, with M&M’s (or Smarties, if you live in far-away places like Canada or Australia) is an absolutely yummy-wonderful cookie. Maizy likes it a whole lot better than that ol’ chocolate chip cookie that her pal Patty Platypus is having.
It’s no secret that Maizy wishes cookies were a lot healthier than they are because she would have them every single day for every single meal if she could. (So would I!)
But really, cookies and cupcakes and pudding and pies and cakes and doughnuts are better when they are saved for special occasions. I know, I know… there are much healthier snacks to have on special occasions…. but who could have a Special Day Party without a yummy cookie?!!
Maizy was happy this day.
She felt safe. She was with her good friend, ol’ Patty Platypus. It was a special day and these two pals were having a picnic in a beautiful park. Maizy could hear the birds singing and the water trickling down the creek. The sun was shining and the weather was the perfect amount of warm. What could be better than a picnic outside underneath leafy trees, and sitting on soft green grass?
This was a special day Maizy wanted to remember forever and for always so she took a picture. Pictures help to remember the good times. She knows all too many people have pictures in their heads about not-so-good times, so making a nice picture of a wonderful time was important to her.
Maizy knows it is very important to make good memories.
Lots of Maizy’s friends have had deeply broken hearts, cold lonely days, aching soul-pain, and years and years of bad memories. That is very sad, very very sad. To help with all those heart-hurts, Maizy is encouraging everyone she knows to take pictures of some good times in their life.
- What did you do today that brought a smile to your face?
- What kinds of things make your heart sing?
- What is a fun thing that just helps you to feel good?
You might have to search a little to figure that out, but if you are used to feeling so very very sad, it is important to find ways that can help you feel a little better, even if for a few minutes at a time.
For Maizy, a giant cookie makes her smile.
For plural-minded people with Dissociative Identity Disorder, there has been a ton of pain in their lives. Even the healing process is painful, and heavy, and difficult. Necessary, yes, but fun? Not at all.
So to balance all that hard painful work, it is particularly important to find or create moments in time where you can feel good. Happy doesn’t stay the top feeling for long, but having frequent visits with times that are good is very important for your heart and soul.
- Maybe building a snowman could bring a smile to your face.
- Maybe hiding your feet deep deep in the sand will help your littles to have a giggle.
- Maybe blowing bubbles out into the wind and watching them float will be a special moment.
- Maybe having a butterfly or a caterpillar on your hand is something to remember.
- Maybe smelling fresh baked bread or a yummy homemade soup will be heart-warming.
It’s incredibly important to give the littles in your system something to enjoy. Happy children will lead to happier adults, I can guarantee that.
Your child parts were created during stress, chaos, conflict, trauma, and hardship. These are not good moments — they are very difficult periods of time. The past is what it was, and you cannot change that. You can heal from the damage done, and honor the strength it took to survive the impossible.
And a huge part of moving forward in your life is to add joy. Add happiness. Add peace, pleasure, warmth, and kindness. Add in all the good elements that were missing in those years of trauma, pain, and heartbreak.
Follow Maizy’s example of a Special Day and find a giant cookie that puts a smile on your face. What’s your favorite kind of cookie?
And take a picture — because remembering the good times is as every bit important as remembering anything else.
Your life is yours now. Add in more good every single day. The more good you have to remember, the more balanced and safe you can feel.
- What will be your next Special Day
- Where will you go?
- What will you do?
- What good memory will you create?
Make your healing journey as beautiful and meaningful as you can.
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation