Hello, hello…
I’m so sorry you’re hurting today.
I wrote the original blog article about faith years ago.
However, anytime I think of the hope and encouragement I want to pass on to those who struggle with fears about Halloween, or the ritualized darkness surrounding the Easter week, I think of this post.
Hold tight to your faith — your strength, and your healing, and your connection to goodness, kindness, love, and light is obvious.
I understand how the darkness can feel so incredibly overwhelming, especially on nights like Halloween. Or for those who have survived the horrors of ritual abuse during Easter week. Some of those horrors go beyond comprehension.
But you’re here now. And you’re reading. And you’ve found a place where people understand what you’ve endured.
So find your faith spot. You have one. Tucked deep deep down inside. It’s gotten you through so much more than you may realize. I know it has, because while so many of you had to dance with evil, you didn’t become evil. You maybe had to appear that you joined in, but in your heart and soul, you did not.
Be careful to not believe the lies of the dark. You were not born bad. You did not deserve the pain you were given. There is and was no need to punish you into smitherines.
Your faith is strong.
Find it, and hold tight.
Thinking of you….
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
Our first response to, “Do you need faith to overcome the effects of trauma?” was the following.
not even the teensiest bit, no fucking way, never never never. we suffered plenty enough from those who used their religion to torment us, so fuck that!
Going to let Aloysius finish this before we say any more bad things…
I think Simone is mistaking faith for religion? Our trauma history involves an episode of our life, during which we were involved with a specific Christian denomination, no need to say which one. We were treated horribly, which is as much detail anyone needs to know. So, when we hear the word faith we are immediately triggered.
Just need faith that life has value for you to reclaim. It doesn’t have to be G-d. It could even be faith that you have one good person in your life. For people who are religious, I think the understanding is that G-d is ever-present, and that we are the ones who veer or drift. I try to inspire people to be open to the doors and signs that lead them on different paths. It could be G-d, it could be the universe, and could be the randomness of life. Just be open to what is, but also allow grace to just “be”.
We used to have faith. Lots. The past few years it go farther and farther away. God goes farther away. I dont think he even sees us or hears us any more. We used to think agod loved us. Not so much anymore. We are pretty sure we’re invisible to him. We talk to him lots, but it doesnt help anymore. No on hears us or sees us anymore. Not even God.
Hello Pilgrim! I know that “faith” can go in very general directions….but you mentioned “God” and I Just wanted you to know that I heard what you said….it is a “scary” feeling to feel like you have “lost” or are “losing” faith…….I hold onto faith with all that I have – (when I feel “connected” to it) – because I have seen that there are times I get triggered into directions where I am going, “God? God who?” ……..To feel so disconnected from hope and faith that Somebody sees and hears you AND cares is a horribly scary feeling…..
Sometimes I find myself longing for the time when I will get to finally go “Home” …..other times I am terrified of the idea of it because I have just caught a glimpse or felt a “wave” of the “parts” who scare me and I don’t know where I will “end up”….I don’t know why they are there or what to do with them….and I feel completely “lost” in more ways than one……
Faith reminds me of the times I DID feel the “connection” and I do my best to hold onto those memories…it helps me hold at least a bit steady until the “bad” waves go back down – giving me a bit of time to hopefully process the “glimpse” of the wave and to know what to do……
As best as you can, hold onto what you HAVE seen of faith, Pilgrim…..even if it only feels like a VERY “faint memory” in those rough moments…it will help your heart not be so scared…..Anyway – bottom line – faith is not based on OUR ability to hold onto Him – it is based on HIS ability to hold onto us in those very rough, disconnected times when we are scared and feel so alone, vulnerable and confused…..
There is still a LOT that I don’t understand in my journey and whatever my story is….and always that nagging question of “Where WERE You?”……but I set it for the time being “on a shelf” with all the other “unknowns” and unanswered questions….faith reminding me that one day, I WILL have an answer…..I WILL see the WHOLE story….and I will finally “see” what faith had been telling me all along….that He DID see and He DID care……
My heart goes out to you, Pilgrim……feeling like you have been abandoned by even God is a terror that is beyond words….in those moments when you have so many unanswered “why?”s …..let faith do its job in reminding you of what your “heart” KNOWS about Him…..that He DOES care and that He did not abandon you……not then….not now……
MissyMing
03/10/19
Love this. Thank you so much for sharing this. Faith is what gets me through each day and I appreciate this post very much. May God bless you!!
Dr. Taji Huang, PhD., is a licensed psychologist and therapist in West Los Angeles. Dr. Huang offers numerous types of therapy to patients. She received her Bachelors Degree from Kean University in psychology and her Masters Degree in clinical psychology from Francis Marion University in Florence, South Carolina. She also holds a PhD from West Virginia University in counseling psychology and specializes in severe & persistent mental illness. She has been trained in cognitive therapy for suicidal patients, evidenced based treatment for child trauma, dialectical behavior therapy for borderline personality disorder, and cognitive behavioral therapy & evidenced based treatment.
psychologist ladera heights
I want to say one more thing before I go to reading other blogs that may explain how I am feeling. I received a comment on FB that I am fictional character and I can be killed off at any time. That is like saying “my life does matter” and that “I am not important.” This is telling me that friend is only taking my expression of love as supportive compliments, rather than understanding what I am trying to help her see in herself. This kind of thinking will not promote true emotional healing. The happiness felt in absorbing a person’s encouragement is fleeting. It will not sustain a person’s mental and emotional stability in the face of negative influences. The voices that are encouraging my friend to make hurtful remarks to those who love her – are the ones that need to be dealt with harshly. She should recognize that they are extremely harmful to healing. They are sending her bad messages.
I know that am not evil . . . and neither is my friend. We have all done things that we are not proud of. I am interested in communicating directly with my friend and hearing about her fears. I do have an email address. 🙂 I may be interested in supporting this person in her projects and being her voice to make positive change. I have some legitimate concerns about this though.
Controlling a person’s reality does not make us spiritually evolved beings. Control can be based in power or in understanding. It’s like that with our pets and children. Yes. We may some control of them . . . but we should treat with respect, dignity, and communicate honestly. Our children and our pets or anything other living creature should not be considered lesser beings (that may be mistaken feeling I am having about my situation).
There needs to be a sense of equality and mutual understanding among all conscious beings in this wonderful universe. It’s difficult for people to communicate effectively with others when such an imbalance exists.
I can see this problem exists in the world because humans see themselves as separate and superior (intellectually and spiritually) to all other creatures on the planet. It’s an attitude that is very damaging to ourselves and the environment. Thank goodness It’s a condition that can be corrected.
Every time I try to express my love to this person I get my feelings hurt . . . really badly. I’m trying so hard to understand and relate. I feel like I’ve been part of huge revenge scheme. The thing is I do not recall ever expressing anything but love to this person. I admit I may be totally misinterpreting the communication I am receiving. Maybe there was no revenge being perpetrated against me. . . it could just be my own feelings of rejection surfacing. I understand what friendship means . . . unfortunately there are other dynamics involved that I don’t understand. Threatening a person’s life does not help either . . . that is a sure way to make a person go away.
My faith in God/Christ is the anchor for my life…don’t know how I’d make it without it. I appreciate the reminder!
The only faith I have at the moment is that I can beat this, but even that slither of hope and faith wanders away sometimes and is hard to find again.
But starting my blog has helped a bit, made it feel more real while I am waiting on a referral to a specialist.
Love your blog, inspiring
I thank God I found your blog I was feeling alone and overwhelmed by so many years of targeting and not finding any answrers ,well in the last few days i the Lord has been leading me to find others like myself and now I get to learn with you all
God bless you and thank you
Just wanted to add hope more of you can share if you have technologies in your body, its so discouraging however I try to keep my eyes more on Jesus , im not always sure if its AI or demons or parts of me when im bering attacked but I love the part when all is at rest
Praise the Lord
Hello Diane,
You are not alone here. We are all here to listen and, when we can, offer support in whatever way possible. I have a strong spiritual self that has indeed kept me in hope and healing. I personally feel that we have to understand and heal the whole of us – our minds, bodies, hearts and souls. I am not sure about the technologies that you speak of. That is not an experience that I have. I do have insiders who are more destructive and hate other parts. I am note sure if this is what you are referring to. Check out Kathy’s articles on destructive parts and ones lost in the darkness (use the search function in the right-hand column).
Keep reading and asking questions!
ME+WE
03/09/19
I’m trying so hard to believe this :'( It feels like every day that passes is one more pulling me closer to the opposite thought – we’re so tired of having nobody to understand.
Libby