Hello Hello!
Happy New Year to You!
It’s the beginning of a new time, a New Year, and nearing the end of the Holidays. How are you feeling? I hope that you found joy in something that warms your heart.
My wish is that you can walk peacefully through this holiday season with a priceless treasure to hold on to for years to come.
I had that goal for myself too, and when I was asked what I wanted for Christmas, my answer was that I wanted an experience to remember. I didn’t have any specific gifts or presents in mind – I just wanted something to treasure in my heart.
And that’s exactly what happened.
A big part of my Christmas Day was spent in a beautiful outdoor setting, with dear friends, looking at photos, swapping stories and walking down Memory Lane. It was a precious time. A blast from the past, as they say it, only these were truly nice memories full of smiles and laughter. It warms the heart and lightens the soul to remember good memories.
All too often, trauma survivors equate the word “memories” with bad memories, filled with scenes of trauma and abuse, chaos, conflict, and other terrible experiences.
Sometimes it seems that all the memories are bad memories.
And fair enough, far far far too many of the memories remembered by dissociative trauma survivors are really not pleasant at all.
That’s not your fault – your history was as it was, and genuine healing involves looking at so many of those horrible times. You are brave and courageous to face those past horrors. It’s enormously painful, but you are doing the right thing by remembering what was once dissociated away.
It just doesn’t have to stay that way.
You can have beautiful times in your life too.
It’s a nice change to remember something pleasant, fun, and enjoyable. For most of you, as your healing progresses, you will remember good moments as well.
But don’t wait for that.
Create good times, good memories, good experiences now. Today. This week. This year.
You really can have a happier New Year this year.
Finding and creating new, positive, valuable memories is so very important to the healing process.
Having memories to cherish is a necessary part of making life feel valuable and worthwhile.
Knowing there were good times in the past, experiencing the good times happening today, and having the assurance that more good times are ahead give us all the hope to live on. To move forward. To hold tight during the tough times.
To make this year a better year, how can you create more of those times to cherish within your heart?
Your Dissoci-ACTION Questions are:
- Can you take the raindrops in your life and create beautiful moments?
- Can you find ways to see beauty in your life, no matter what else is happening?
- Do you treasure the beauty of nature and the vibrant colors that surround you?
- What small moments can be nurtured into much bigger brighter spots in your life?
- Where can you go and what can you do to find something that brings a smile to your face?
This can be good year for you.
Get determined to be happier, and make it so.
You can do it. I know you can.
I wish you the very best in your healing journey.
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
I do have some good memories….just not sure I deserve them.I agree that material gifts dont matter, in comparison to the gift of friendship, peace and safety.
Can you take the raindrops in your life and create beautiful moments? Not any more. Just feel too exhausted to keep trying to believe things can get better.
Can you find ways to see beauty in your life, no matter what else is happening? As above, feel too worn out.
Do you treasure the beauty of nature and the vibrant colors that surround you? There is none. My world is grey, the sky, the roads, the hills….grey,grey, grey.
What small moments can be nurtured into much bigger brighter spots in your life?
Where can you go and what can you do to find something that brings a smile to your face? I don`t think I every smile, or ever have really smiled (I have faked it when expected to be “happy”).
My only aim just now is surviving, though I dont really believe I deserve to.
That pic is Beautiful! I’m inspired. The more healing I have …. Much to my surprise … Good memories are popping up too. It’s true! We’ve been down memory lane this year also & reconnected to High School friends going thru similar outside life issues. We’ve had lots of laughs too. Absolutely none of us look the same! LoL. Some things have been sad to learn but it was worth the risk to have the ‘feel good’ moments too. We are learning …. On some level, that we are all in this together & that it is better with friends (even if we don’t disclose the very dark stuff). Everyone has ‘stuff’. It’s good to have more than one friend in this big ole world.
Dear Kathy, I must be taking this post the wrong way. Because even though the answers to the questions asking if I can find beauty no matter what else is happening and if I treasure nature and colors, is an absolute, resounding YES, and that these things have been integral in surviving all these years as an antidote or a cover over all the ugliness or just an opportunity for parts of me to reach peaceful places, somehow some of the language of the post felt jarring and pushing. I know you know that we all have had problems with having to be something for someone else, and I know that you are very compassionate for us, and want healing for us, but I did have to remind myself of that when I got done reading, because for some reason it felt painful. But I DO know better. And maybe I’m extra sensitive because I’ve been forced to stop therapy. Thank you for all the beautiful, enlightening posts you’ve written; they’ve been a great help in both educating me and supporting me. Rich blessings to you in the new year.
Ihope thisyear go lots beter than last yeear. Becus last year was anuther bad year. So we need a good year finaly. We just relly need somthing to go rite
Rachel
Well.. Wish so much could say that there is some good. Struggling so much here. Holidays were trying as usual.. This time of year is difficult for us. Trying so hard to find hope.. Not doing a very good job at that. Know that negativity is something lived with for years so.. Comfort zone.. Even though we hate it. Trying to just be ok with being ok… Not working..
We too are in the place of uncomfort in the post.. But we realize too where we are right now…
Keep writing, Kathy. iWeb find ourselves back here reading a lot..
I am determined that this time next year I will look back on a year with more positives than negatives. My new mantra is “today is the best day of my life.”
I say that to myself every day because each day is the only day we have and the only one that is real; the past is gone; the future is not guaranteed. I want to learn to live in the now. To breathe, to look for beauty – as you do Kathy, to seek out moments of joy. I am not denying my past abuse or current effects but I want to not be defined by them.
Thanks for this. We wish you a very happy new year, too. Thanks for always being such a nice person and we enjoy reading your blog. We’ve just had a really bad health scare, but we’re trying to find that positivity inside of us. Warmly
many of us
http://manyofus1980.com/
Happy new year from all of us!