I do have some short little stories I would like to share that are on the fun side.
Animals have always been very important to me, and for most years of my life, I have had a variety of pets – lots of cats, dogs, horses – and when I was little I had a pet raccoon called Petunia, a pet pig called Snorkie, and a pet calf called Grassyhopper. I would be writing for a very long time if I started through the list of critters that have been my best friends through all the years!
This year I made some brand new critter-buddies — I met a tiding of magpies. (Tiding… hmmm, that’s a very odd word. It reminds me of tidy, and believe me, magpies are not exactly tidy!!!) Magpies – to me – are a group of birds that are now affectionately known as Maggies, or Maggie Babies, or Baby Pies, or simply just “Pie”!!
I’ve not had much to do with birds prior to this year, so meeting and enjoying birds has been a fun, new adventure for me. My maggie babies have been a nice surprise. I didn’t know that birds had as much personality as they do!
Maggies look very similar to each other, and even though I have the incredible experience of having a close personal look at as many as 16 birds surrounding me within arm’s reach at a single time, it’s still hard to tell them apart. However, I have been able to distinguish a few of them from each other. Today, I want to introduce you to one of them – a small little maggie girl named Walks Inside.
Walks Inside distinguished herself by her willingness to walk right inside the balcony door.
The other maggies stayed grouped together out on the balcony, singing their greetings from the sunny outdoors, but little Walks Inside preferred to walk right inside the house, having a little peek here and there all by herself. Her trusting nature seemed odd, but I welcomed her friendliness. She liked to eat her treats at least twice a day, she definitely preferred being hand-fed, and I fancied believing that she enjoyed the individual attention she got by visiting me all on her own.
One day, Walks Inside was walking different.
Actually, she was limping, or more accurately, she was painfully hopping on one foot, barely walking at all. Somehow, somewhere, she had gotten her delicate left foot tangled and wrapped in loops and loops of fishing line. She clearly had been pulling and tugging and pulling and tugging at the unbreakable line with absolutely no success at freeing herself from its ever tightening hold.
From a distance, I watched her peck and pull at the line, clearly confused and struggling.
The amount of looping line around her foot made this a very dangerous and life-threatening situation for little Walks Inside. She could have easily got the loops caught in trees or bushes or on any other jagged, hooking edge. If that happened, she would be stuck there, like a small feathered prisoner, unable to fly away from danger unless she was found and assisted with regaining her freedom.
Once I became aware of this predicament, I watched especially closely for Walks Inside. Many times, everyday I looked to see her. I was worried for her and I wanted to make sure she was still okay.
My friend and I knew that something had to be done before Walks Inside got caught somewhere, or before she lost her foot, and before any other tragic end would come to her beautiful little self. We thought and thought, and finally made a plan.
It took several tries and re-thinking of our process for our plan to work. Since Walks Inside already knew how to make herself at home by walking right inside the house, I purposefully gave her treats to invite her even further and further inside the house. I wanted her to come inside far enough that we could gently shut the door behind her, and then work on plan B – somehow catching her so I could carefully remove the line from her foot.
Walks Inside had been happy to eat treats from my hand in the kitchen, but she really wasn’t so sure about those moving doors! She would quickly hop and fly away when the doors misbehaved to her disliking. Apparently, Walks Inside didn’t have any intentions of being a long-term houseguest!
But we knew we needed to catch her inside if we were going to be able to help her, so we tried again, and again.
Eventually we did it!
Once she was inside, she tried to fly out a window, and my friend was able to catch her gently with a towel. We made sure she was sitting comfortably within her towel, and my friend held her in one place while I worked at freeing her little tiny leg from the layers of fishing line.
Little Walks Inside was amazingly calm during all this.
I expected she would be fearful, and upset, and that she would try to fly away, but she did not show any of that.
She sat calmly, snuggled in her towel, looked right at me, and acted like getting a pedicure — a birdie-cure? or a pedi-claw? — anyway, that a pedicure was an everyday event for a bird.
The fishing line was truly wrapped and knotted and looped and layered all along her left leg. She was getting wounds already, and it was blaringly obvious that little Walks Inside would have never ever be able to tug the line off by herself.
It seemed like forever, but it probably took a solid 10-15 minutes to ever-so-carefully remove all the bits of the clear, nearly invisible fishing line tangled around all the claws of her feet and to pull it out of the wrinkled skin of her tiny little bird legs. Walks Inside was very patient. She seemed to know we were helping her and not bringing her harm.
Finally — success!
All the bits of fishing line had dropped to the floor and her foot and leg were totally free and clear of any trouble. As quickly as possible, we took her back out to the balcony so she could fly off on her own and enjoy her newly reclaimed freedom.
I worried that the ordeal may have scared her so much that I wouldn’t see her again, but in less than 15 minutes, she was back on the balcony, saying hello again, happily snatching another treat from my hand.
She was still limping with her sore foot, and holding it tucked up close to her tummy, but she was able to ever so gingerly stand on it with the toes of her foot stretched out properly instead of being all caught up in a tangled ball of fishing line.
Again I watched for her, and over the next few days, Walks Inside limped and favored her foot, but she was clearly getting better and better, and healing up well.
Now none of the maggie birds that visit me have a limp.
Isn’t that just the best news?
The word of easy pickings for bird treats has apparently spread around the neighborhood and several of my pies have also learned to walk inside the house.
It is fun, seeing a little community develop. I actually have quite a few maggie stories that I could share!
But what is the moral of this story for dissociative trauma survivors?
To me, it is a story of courage, and having a willingness to trust.
It is a story of a brave little bird who risked letting someone very different from her help her with her wounds.
It is a story of appreciation and gratitude because little Walks Inside came back again and again, bringing joy and happiness with each of her visits.
It is a story of survival and a willingness to live, even when facing life-threatening situations.
It is the story of how a tiny little bird can have such a beautiful impact on people’s lives.
We can learn a lot from maggies!
Thanks bunches, Little Walks Inside!
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2017 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
So sweet! I wonder though – was the willingness to trust, and not knowing the difference between friend and foe, the reason little Walks inside got caught in the fishing line in the first place?
That would make the courage shown even more amazing – after first being hurt! What a delightful story – Thank you Kathy.
Hi Beruriah,
Thanks for posting, and welcome to Discussing Dissociation blog.
I think you’ve made a good point, and asked a good question. And I completely agree — having the courage to trust again after being hurt is so very difficult. In some ways, finding that courage and the willingness to trust again may be some of the hardest parts of the healing process…
Thanks for reading,
Warmly,
Kathy
Birds can trust people. People cant trust people. Trusting people just brings a heap of trouble. Nice of you to help the bird though.
Hi Pilgrim,
Thanks for the comment.
Trust is such a delicate thing… and so easily broken, even by accident. Maybe consider looking at building trust in small tiny steps, a little bit at a time? It certainly can’t happen quickly, and yes, people will fail you… Or I can say it this way, in my experience, people will eventually do something that can break my trust in them. It might be a big thing, or a small thing, but yeah… eventually every person can and probably will do something that breaks my trust in them. But then I have to make a decision about whether to let that incident(s) be the be-all and end-all of my willingness to have a relationship with them. Of course, with some people, the trust is too damaged, and that’s that. Unless I particularly want to keep a relationship with that person, it becomes far too much work to do the repairs. But with someone that I really want to stay connected with, if I do my part, and offer grace or forgiveness and understanding and consistent genuine effort in the relationship, hopefully, that can keep a level of trust alive and well so the relationship can continue to build between us.
But yeah, trusting people can bring a heap of trouble. Sometimes, it’s worth it. And sometimes, it’s not. I totally hear you.
Thanks for reading.
Warmly,
Kathy
I love animals Kathy and have had everything from horses to mice but i am scared of birds. their flapping wings make me feel scared and i want to run away and hide but your little bird sound nice and I would like to have a bird come and eat from my hand.
My therapist said I was courageous and that made me feel good. I always think of myself as a scaredy cat not as someone brave.
I am so pleased you are back.
Hi Maddie,
Thanks for posting. 🙂
To tell you the truth, I was scared of hand-feeding the maggies at first. My friend showed me how to do it, and then I had to get the courage to try it. Magpies have quite prominent beaks and a reputation for pecking hard, so I really wasn’t sure, but I have such an affinity for animals, I really couldn’t not give it a go once I saw that was possible. And you know what? They’ve never hurt me. Not even when they nip at my fingers (which they sometimes do). And the more I spent time with them, the easier it became for the birds and for me. I can always tell when I have new birds on my balcony — they hang back further, and watch the others, and they don’t come close at first. But they learn by watching (and by positive reinforcement of having some bread crumbs tossed their way, lol) that I’m not going to hurt them.
It’s ok to take the time you need to build up your courage, and to test out new situations little bit by little bit. I am very sure that you can be courageous too!
Thanks for reading.
Warmly,
Kathy
Cool story Rockstar.
lol 🙂
Thanks J. 🙂
Poor little walks inside. She was very brave. Im glad she is doing better. Im glad you were able to help her.
Seems you have a gift with animals just as you have a gift with people, kathy.
Im happy to see you writing here again.
Caroline
Me Thinks it was very nice to hear a story again.. It has been a long time since we heard a story just for fun. Ummm? That was a good story about your maggie pies & little walks. Little Walks was very brave. He didn’t know you would hold him gentle in the towel. He took a risk. Me Thinks little walk was deciding to trust you. Me Thinks that is just like therapy. It hurts … then you trust … after a big risk & you don’t get hurt. It is a good story & me thinks we are glad you wrote it to us. Me Thinks me is thinking about it. But mostly me thinks me enjoyed just not thinking about my own hard stuff for a change. Me Thinks – Thank You. Me Thinks too much sometimes.
Wow, you’re like a bird whisperer… 🙂
We r waiting for the next story. It is fun to read stories again.
Hi Little Me Thinks…
Thank you for coming back and reading here.
And you know what? I had to write that next story three times because I didn’t like the first version, then for whatever frustrating reason, the second version didn’t save properly in my computer…. (ARGH!!!!! I really really hate it when that happens!!!!!). And then… finally, the third version got posted….
But I am glad that you are enjoying the stories. 🙂
Kathy
test
Hmm.
I have posted here in the past, but now must log in via facebook?
and a freaky screen asking that free access be allowed to my FB acct?
I’d have run screaming if I hadn’t of been here B4.
That doesn’t allow for much privacy.
I happen to have a junk facebook acct(I don’t have a real one) so I could post.
Anyways, we love animal stories!!!!!
TY
Anita Pop,
Thanks for your comment.
The whole facebook log-in thingy is something created by wordpress itself. I haven’t posted any comments recently, except here in my own blog, so I can’t exactly speak to how or why it works like that. I would surely hope – assume – there is a way to post comments here without having to sign into facebook. I don’t like that either. Before, people have to sign in wordpress itself, which is understandable, but why facebook?? It does mess with too much privacy, if you ask me. I agree with you!
Thanks for the comment, and thanks for coming back and reading.
Wishing you the best,
Kathy
Me Do’s. Me Thinks me really really do’s like the story time again! 🙂
Me thinks life is way to serious sometimes & your stories about the birdies make our hearts warm. Me Thinks it makes me relax too. It is hard to be calm, not worry & all that stuff so Me Thinks we will love these stories always. Me Thinks too much. Me Hopes for the next story time.
Thank You for the stories. 🙂
Reblogged this on Discussing Dissociation and commented:
Here’s something, just for fun…. 🙂
Kathy
That is a lovely story and i’m glad you had a successful rescue. That must have been very rewarding. I love the picture that comes to mind of the little bird snuggled in her towel waiting for you to finish your work.
Initially i just thought about the story itself and i really didn’t pick up on the analogy you concluded with until i read Beruriah’s comment. That uncertainty inside oneself, and the persuasion of a predator combined with their “hurt” feelings that you might not trust them…and the trap springs shut…I think that makes trying to decide whether or not it is safe to later trust someone else the very very hardest thing about therapy. Not a once and done decision, either, but ongoing.
The sorting process you discussed in your reponse to Pilgrim seems easier to implement in general life relationships- easier but not easy. One thing i’ve noticed about some of these relationships is that the ones that are draining are too one-sided, the connection has to be built “between us” to be real.
trust, hmm that’s a difficult issue for us, very difficult. honestly we’re not sure we truly trust anyone, except our therapist and maybe one friend and our crisis counselor and J___ from the wellness centre. Our trust has been shattered far too many times throughout our life. We have come to learn that we give ourselves to others far too easily and invariably get hurt and betrayed and used as a result. Why? we wish we knew.