Well…. it’s December 21st in the northern hemisphere. Making today the Winter Solstice.
In the southern hemisphere, like in Australia, this is the Summer Solstice.
I originally wrote this article when I lived in Dallas. The weather in Dallas was nearly 80 degrees Fahrenheit that day, making for a very warm day even though it is considered to be the official first day of winter. It’s the Winter Solstice and on top of that. Some years (including the original year of this article!) there has also been a lunar eclipse. Did anyone see that? If you can actually enjoy the moon, it was pretty cool to see.
However, late last night while I was standing alone outside, quietly looking at the moon, I could appreciate the beauty with my eyes, but my heart was feeling a sadness and heaviness for the other things that were happening in other parts of the world. While a full and brilliantly bright moon can be beautiful for my eyes, I know that it is a scary trigger for a lot of dissociative survivors who have been traumatized with ritual abuse.
Winter Solstice represents a day of darkness that is full of trauma for too many dissociative trauma survivors. The night was far too scary, far too difficult, far too dark, far too long.
Many of you know what I am speaking of and I don’t have to go into the gory details for you to know the pain and anguish you have probably already been feeling all day.
If this kind of history applies to you, I am sorry that you had to experience such horrible atrocities in your lifetime. I can promise you it was not right nor good nor okay that you were required to participate in such darkness.
I wish the world was not so dark.
I wish that evil didn’t have such a hold on so many people.
I wish that kindness and gentleness could win all wars.
I wish those creeps that enjoy inflicting pain would inflict it on themselves, and leave the rest of us alone.
I wish it was just an ordinary night for you, and not a night of darkness.
I am sorry that you were hurt.
I wish they had never ever showed you any of their darkness.
I hope that you find freedom, safety and a lifetime of distance from their darkness.
I am so very sorry that you are hurting.
I am so very sorry that they were terrible to you.
There really is healing from such horrible abuse — for you, and for everyone in your system — but it also means finding your way out and away from such abusive groups. It means separating from those who hurt you and building a life that is not devoted to darkness.
There is hope for you!
There are kind and helpful people in the world — I promise you so. Not everyone understand dissociative issues, or ritual abuse nightmares, but some of us do.
I realize that there are so few resources for dissociative survivors who truly want to find freedom, safety, peacefulness, kindness, and understanding.
This year, I’m pleased to say there is a new resource available for you. If you need a little extra support and want to be in a group who has kind and gentle and helpful motivations to be in your life, consider joining the Discussing Dissociation Community Forum.
This forum has been specially made for DID survivors, and we are here to help — not to hurt.
You’ve already been hurt far far far too many times…. It would be good if you were able to find places of safety and healing.
So on the darkest days like the Winter Solstice, or on the lonely days of Christmas holidays, or when your therapist is away and you are struggling by yourself and dealing with difficult parts of your system, there is a place you can go for support and helpful community.
Please be careful when your nighttime parts are out. Show them that they do not have to be hurt in the night anymore.
I wish you the very best in your healing journey.
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation