These days mark another season change.
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, it will be the first day of spring.
For those of us in the Southern Hemisphere, it will be the beginning of autumn.
The first day of spring, the first day of summer, the first day of autumn, and the first day of winter are all significant and difficult days for many trauma survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID / MPD).
Because these dates are a little obscure, and the reasons for the trouble may not be obvious, many DID survivors may not understand why they have difficulties on these dates.
In this particular post, I’m not going to go into great detail for why these dates are difficult, I just want to state it loud and clear that they often are.
Please check with your therapist, especially if you find yourself struggling this week.
Have you noticed any of the following symptoms this week:
- Stronger, more frequent pulls towards self-injury or self-destructive thoughts, or even suicidal ideation
- Isolating or withdrawing from people that care about you
- Feeling darker on the inside
- Feeling different, as if something on the inside is changing
- Feeling like your system is shifting to another set of insiders
- Finding yourself with more missing time, or more episodes of amnesia
- Seeing new parts inside, or at least other parts that are less familiar to you
- Pulls to have contact with people who are not always the safest of people
- Intense flashbacks or body memories
- Depression, or disinterest in your normal daily activities
- Increased fear, anxiety, tension, feelings of conflict, etc.
The equinox dates (first days of spring and autumn) and the solstice dates (first days of summer and winter) are difficult weekends for lots of dissociative trauma survivors.
You are definitely not alone in having some struggles at this time of year.
There will be reasons for your reaction to these weekends.
Look deeper inside your system. Talk to your inner people who live back behind you.
Speak open with your therapist about what is going on for you. I realize it’s scary “to talk” but this is the way to finding safety for everyone.
In the meantime, do a lot of grounding techniques.
Work hard to stay connected to the here and now, and stay with people you know to be safe.
Check “the time on the clock” frequently, and be attentive to the pulls you feel to leave, to step back, and to switch to others. You can meet new-to-you system people during these times of change. Do your best to introduce them to the here-and-now.
Drifting off will make it easier for other situations to happen. Fight the battle by staying as strong as you can on the side of health, healing, kindness, and goodness.
Try to enjoy the sunshine, stay warm, and let yourself stay busy with activities that you know are positive.
Make a list of activities you enjoy, and encourage lots’n lots of the folks in your system to do positive activities of your own making, instead of going to negative places built on the harm and destruction of others.
I wish you the very very best in your healing journey.
And please …. help yourself and your inner system by doing the intense work it takes to stay safe and far far away from anyone who hurts you.
You don’t need to be hurt anymore.
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation