The healing process for survivors of abuse and neglect is very difficult. While it is a rewarding journey, it is a painfully difficult process.
Trauma survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder typically have lots of child parts in their systems. Sometimes these child parts may seem to outnumber the adults!
Working with the kids is an important part of the healing process. Inside kids often know a lot about your internal system, family dynamics, and trauma memories.
But these inside kids, while very much connected to the rest of your adult self, also have real kid needs.
They need to be cared for, kept safe (inside and out), allowed to have healthy daily provisions, given support, comfort, and compassion. These are the parts of you that were frozen in time when your needs were not properly meet during your actual childhood. They are the parts of you that just could not go on any further in life, and had to stay stuck where they were, back in that time. They are often the parts that lived through the horrors that you are remembering.
If you ask me, child parts are little heroes.
If you think that working on your trauma issues is hard as an adult — with a therapist and all the current-day resources available to you — imagine how hard it was to be a little child living that trauma, completely on your own, with no help at all. Your little kids have had a rough go of it. It really is important for you to do what you can to soothe their wounds and heal their hurts.
One thing that helps child parts to move forward and to not stay stuck is to meet some of their unmet needs.
Between years of abuse and neglect, and many incidents of trauma, your child parts will have oodles of experiences of not having their needs met appropriately. The sooner you and your system can treat your child parts in healthy ways, the sooner they will heal. Having corrective emotional experiences will allow your child parts to experience the positive things that were missing in their development.
If your child parts are not in a place where they can emotionally flourish, it will be important for you to help them reach a place where they can experience creative happy living.
Reading good children’s stories with your child parts are as helpful for your inner kids as they are for outside children.
The book, “I Knew You Could” by Craig Dorfman is a wonderful children’s story about encouragement, support, positive self-belief, and healthy determination.
The story is about a little train that goes through different areas of life, questioning his train-abilities and wondering if he can make it through the various stops in life.
If you would like your child parts to hear this story, you may listen to a recording of “I Knew You Could” at the AbuseConsultants.com blogtalkradio show page.
I am not a professional storyteller by any means, but through the years of working with DID / MPD clients, I have been asked by many a child part to read a story. It seemed to me that maybe other child parts out there in the world would also enjoy having a positive, encouraging story read to them.
Please use this story as a way to encourage yourself and comfort your inner kids.
You may listen to the story as often as you like ! Over and over again !
Your healing journey is difficult — filled with lots of stops and bumps along the way — but you have already survived the worst of it. You can heal from here, and create a much better life for yourself and your insiders.
- When you hear “I Knew You Could”, what are your favorite lines in the story?
- Which phrases fit your life right now?
- What does this story mean to you?
- How do you relate to this story?
- What do you need encouragement with in your life?
Whatever difficult things are happening in your life… keep working at it!
You can do it.
I know you can!
Copyright © 2008-2020 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
We member this story!! We got in on our phone becuse jadie love it. But the past few months when you click on it it say this episode curently unavalable from absueconsultants
We love it when our talker lady read us storys
Our littles were so excited to hear the story but we cant make it play for them… do we need to have an account with something to play the story?
Kathy, thanks for the post. Though I’m wondering about this technique. I’ve found that it’s actually not a great idea to interact with child parts as if they were real children. It makes them more stuck and separate. When my therapist was talking/interacting with us as if we were real children, it made the toddler parts feel more like they were in control of our life and they’re super important. But that felt counter therapeutic — the whole point of therapy is to show them that they grew up to be me, we’re an adult now, we are safe and we are actually one person. I told my therapist to stop emboldening them in that way, and always talk and interact with us as if we are 34-years-old (my actual age) despite who shows up in session. He did so, and it’s much better! Integration is happening (we’re doing a somatic therapy called Lifespan Integration) and I’m experiencing way less terror, panic and anxiety these days.
Anyway, just wondering about this approach and how it might make people’s parts more separate. What are your thoughts?
Interesting posting Jenny and perspective on your therapeutic work and integration. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am glad that the approach that you are taking is working so well for you and that your goal of integration is progressing as hoped for. That is wonderful.
I guess that, for me, your posting points out the fact that DID does not have a one-size-fits-all therapeutic path or healing agenda. You see, I am very thankful that my T speaks directly and age-appropriately to my insiders. In my head, they are children. In their (my insiders) reality, they are children when they come out to speak with my T. I am not present when they are out. They hold the memories and information about my life that I do not have. They have been the guardians of this information, feelings, jobs, etc. for most of my 65 years of life.
I was immensely thankful that they felt that my T was kind and compassionate enough to Little Ones to come out and talk with her. At first, they would only talk with her and did not let her tell me anything of their stories/information. And, when they got scared and were triggered into flashbacks, my T soothed them and was able to remind them of the here and now using a stuffed dog in her office (NOT something that I would have accepted).
For me, I do not think that I would have ever known about my DID or my past if my T had not presented a caring presence to my little insiders and had not spoken to them at the age in which they were stuck. Speaking kindly with my little ones was essential to my therapy … essential to unlocking the secrets of my past. My little ones finally trusted a Big Person, my T, to tell their truth to long before they trusted me actually.
I know that my insiders are all ME and that I am 65 year old woman. But, personally, I am comfortable with having parts of all ages sharing my body, heart, mind and soul. As you can probably tell here, I am not seeking integration. My therapeutic goal is communication, co-operation and co-consciousness.
Hmmmm….I seem to be in a different boat….not quite as Jenny…nor quite as Me+We….glad that Me+We said this is “no one-size fits all” situation or I would be getting all confused again! I do have child parts that show up in session…AND have heard them when I get around certain people or situations……I am co-conscious to degrees – and when they trigger in sessions, Rage and I are off to the side watching….Rage seems to be closer than me….
“I” hear some – or pieces – of the interaction between my T and the child part ….I hear the “child talk” of the part and my T responding at that level…..it feels really “weird” hearing and watching it – but I am aware of what T is doing and try to hold steady……
Rage – on the other hand – watches closely…..sometimes he is close – sometimes more distant…..When he is close – it can be hard because, often, he does NOT like T talking to the part like that…..he calls it “baby talk” – even though the child part IS using tones and words like that…….I haven’t yet figured out what his anger is about…..
Sometimes he says T is being “patronizing” and he does NOT like it……sometimes it feels like he just doesn’t want T getting too close to that part…..sometimes it feels like he is some form of “protector” for the part – yet is angry that the part shows up – or even exists….and has little patience with them…..How conflicting is THAT!
All I know is Rage hangs around a lot and watches….I haven’t figured him out at all – yet….I don’t know if he is “one” Rage who is “all over the place”….or if there are several types of him……
I know child parts are there….I have seen them Inside and heard them Inside and on the Outside…..but even their existence still makes me nervous….there are so many “unknowns” about them……it is hard to reach out to what you are afraid of……
I don’t know that I am aiming for integration….I’m still trying to see who is EVEN there!!!
Read Read Read we like to hear people read . I do I like to listen to Kathy read ever night this is my favorite book the little engine she said she would record another one soon Baby like to hear soothing voice it feels safe Maybe if your baby’s can’t come out like me if you sit next to there room and read they mite hear you Baby
Alessandra I don’t have an answer. If I new I would help mine and yours
I asked before but never got any kind of answer and will try one more time. Maybe I did something wrong? Or maybe it really true that I’m not real. Anyway, how can I help littlest littles if no part can reach them and they cry constantly? Is it hopeless? They always be alone and scared?
caden tod me to lisn to this agan so i dont be so weryd bot schol
i have to try to be brave wen schol starts
i have to say i think i can 🚂
mabe that will help 🙂
caden red it to her class today. her red it just like you did on the radeo. jadie still membrs im not a giving up train. it made us a little bit sad to hear the story because we miss when you red it a long time ago. it also made us a little bit happy becuse we like when you red it. her class like the story.
Elizabeth Anne says
we cant get it to play for us. i ant to hear the story.
Right weve followed this website for a few months now and just decided to post a comment becuase youre email we got today about litlle ones.
IF my name here isnt clear enough, i (Katy) run a youtube channel with my system littles and one of them (Roze, shes 4) calls me and my fiancee her parents hince why she named the channel Little Roze and Daddy Too…..
So anyways i was wondering if you had a list of books i could do videos of for a little story time series. Some of the groups were in on facebook have expressed how much they would enjoy having a play list of videos with stories for their little ones and Roze wanted her daddy and i to make that a reality on our channel.
Could you recommend some good books ? how would we need to go about it so no copyright strikes are sent our way ?
The inside kids still listen to you read this story on their ipod.
I read this story to my class every year the last week of school, they always love it.
Beccas lils says
Fank u for reedin thu story. Its reeli gud. Us lils lotsa tims wish we cud fli lik the plans an the birds. Sumtims we hav dreems wer we can fli in the ski lik birds. ?
We hav hard tims now cuz r theripist movd awa an onli teld r bigs to weeks befor she wuz leevin. R big fownd a nu theripist for us that her inshurins wil pa for but she dont no how to wurk wif us lils. She onli nos how to help bigs an teens. But she sed she wil ask othr theripists to teech her bowt helpin lils.
So we not giv up. We keep goen. Lils r reeli strong an brav! Bravr sum tims then thu bigs r!
Frum lil gerl an angel n louisa.
I miss you reding storys
Jadie still membrs im not a givng up train
We membr when you red that book long time aggo
reed r you my muthr wif the litl birdy lokin fur his muthr. i stil lokin fur my mothr. no muthr wnts me. i lik dis bok cos the birdy fins his muthr. i stil lokin.
we forgoted to tell us dat we has red abowt 5 thowsan books sins we lerned to reed and thay helped us surviv alla bad stuff arown us. it wuz inhuman wat went on. we used buks to keep frum goin crazee and to mak nis imajinaree plases to liv in.
for us it is gettin impotant to get involv to tha reel world. we tired byby
lesle’s tinys an litls
fings is gettin intents arown here. we gettin inside old locked up plases an we helping tinies an littles wif our T’s an God’s help. dis week we heped sum tinies dat luked lik feral kitties. it wuz diffren frum evr befor. God putted dem in a basket and held der protectr by tha hand an He tooked dem away to be help an heal. we fink God is vere inerestin. we wuz shoked about da lil wildcats, but not sprised cos da peepl din’t help so we turnd to owr favrite animals kitties.
do u lik us miss kathy? we don hav muny to be in u speshl grup, but may be sumday.. da fings u do on here are vere gud and helpful an kind. byby
Tiggy offered this pic from her blog from her entry on January 24th 2010
Her blog can be found here. http://tiggyzcabin.blogspot.com/
Tiggy updates daily and wants you to know she loves trains, and so loved your reading us your story.
kafy we saw this book at the book store today
so we got to see the picshers
we got to see the trane
o yes mis kafky, we ben guder we liv in the musick sity now an we got a hows to owrselfs and it gots grass and stuf owt side and trees but thay dont got leefs rit now yet and we gots 2 dogs and jes do werk on the kemputr for sum sengers at owr own hows and dont go to dat bad crak plas no mor and it bes funer to werk 🙂 its guder than texes but i miss u and sum uther peepel sumtims too frum sammy
I just wanted to say I think it’s really cool how you don’t treat the babies like they’re the same age as the body 🙂 Our little ones gets sad sometimes because they get in trouble for not knowing stuff the body person is suposed to know. That’s why our body person gave up looking for a counselor. Because they all said they only cared about the body person.
That nobody but the body person was allowed to have a counselor.
Thank you for understanding 🙂
i lisind today on are walk
we got it on are iPod
jadie cant figyer out how come your voise is there
shes so confust i think!
but i like to lisin to the story that way agan
i can see the trane in my mind
and dont be jelus of cars and planes cos it can be good to be a trane
This was a very good book and we listened to the story both times! We never did have anybody read to us even though we really would be good and listen if they did. You have a nice reading voice and it felt really good listening.
the runaway bunny is about a little bunny that tries to runaway from her mom but her mom guides her back to her safe arms each time. at the end the little bunny says that he will turn into a child a runaway, but the mommy says that she will hug the bunny.
little one has been reading this book for years with therapists and now doesn’t think that the new therapist will ever read the book to her and she feels too scared to ask. she really wants to hear it read to her again and a place where she can go at anytime to hear it. it has so much special meaning eventhough her mom wasn’t a pleasant mom she yearns for that hug at the end. just thought i would share. thank you for sharing your book with us. i think our littles really liked that.
ps..we love this story…Bella wants me to go out and buy the book tomorrow..but we gots no money so it will have to wait..but i did promise her we could go to the library and read it…thanks for sharing.
i haven’t had a chance to read the story or listen to it. But we are so excited to tell you Kathy that one of our child parts stood up to our older sister who had always been a bully and who had been bullying me, the host part for quite some time now. Not being able to say No to her, i had loaned her money, rented her a car, loaned her my car, etc..i had a smaller part who came out, and just simply told her to go away and leave us alone. she called her on the phone and told her to go away, literally. and though my sister wasn’t very happy about it this little one stood her ground. She felt like she needed to protect me, it’s amazing, because i needed protecting. and she stepped up and did it…i just wanted to tell you that..now i’m gonna go try to get to the story…
umm, mis kathy, we cant lissin to u story even tho we wanna heer it. we has sumfin inside here dat do not lets us ever do fun things. all we gets to do is hold owr stuffies sum. is not enuf. we gots crayons an color books an speshul markers sarah bringd to us but we don gets to use dem. we don kno wi it is lik dis inside.
DO U KNO WI WE DON GETS TO HAV NO FUN???? CAN U HELP US FIX IT???
we is rekunizin mor tinies an littles an tweens in here an mosly is onlee abowt stayin saf and not hurtin selfs. owr lif is vere borin but we do know how to change. we fink owr bigs wud help us onlee they is stuck in here 2. thay don do it 2 be meen 2 us. we lost play in da fite to suviv.
we fink u do vere big gud thing here on inernt. we lik u for doin it an helpin peepl lik us dat mos peepl turns awaa. byby
spunky ritin for da tinies an litls
IRL the girl lesle played an reed lotsa books, lovd her kitties an her bear. games not so fun cos she smalles at hom and the little girl mommies usda send us awa cos tha sed we were 2 ruff and cud not play wif their lil girls. it hurted owr feelins soooo bad.
even owr bigs wana lern to play sos thay wud hav fun at parties or games wif famlee an frenz byby, lili ana
ken i tels u a sekret? we feel reel strong bad how we wana run awa wen peepls invite us to play games at church parties here. we feel bad wen we mess up.
IN OWR LIFE FUN FEELS LIK GOIN TO DA DAMN DENTIS. WE DON KNO WI AN WE REELEE WANA GET TO HAVE fUN and be a nis peepl.
ps we gots sum gud news. we is findin mor of our tinies and littles and older ones and we presheat alla dem cos day all help us lern stuf, hav fun and prteck us 2.
leah ses we tak 2 much so we gotta go, byby,
lotsa lil pixies an leah gots her knikrs in a twist (hehehe on her)
its a gud story n u dun gud reedin it mis kafky. frum sammy
Kathy Broady says
Hi sammy!!! 😀
It’s good to hear from you!
I’m glad you liked hearing the story, and I hope you are doing good out there in the big wide world!
tank yu miss kathy wus gud stori lik it uh lot funy pupys 🙂 yu hav nis voys reel gud voys hapy voys 🙂 lik stori tim but suntim it bes reel scari wen afer stori tim yu hav get in bed wif dem 🙁 we saf now do so no mor hurt afer storitim 🙂
Kathy Broady says
thank you missi –
yes, those puppies are very funny. 🙂 I have silly dogs! 😀
Thank you for listening to the story, and with this story, you can listen to it at times when it is NOT bedtime. Maybe that will keep things feeling safer for you. Story time is supposed to be a nice time, and that’s all.
Keep staying safe!
my favrit be wen you tell yor dogs they dont be vere good lisnrs 🙂 ther funy
you shud sit them in chaers and say shhhh be good you mit get a cookei
Kathy Broady says
lol, yeah… It figures! As soon as I expected those puggies to behave… they decided to have a wrestling match instead, lol. 🙂
ah well, lol…. they keep life fun!
maybee culd yu reed runway buni sumtim
dats mi favrot
Kathy Broady says
hi little one,
I’m glad you all liked the story.
I don’t know the runway bunny story, but yes, I am thinking about reading more stories another time, so… maybe that would be a good one to consider. Can you tell me more about it?
Rocio Caro says
In answer to someone’s request for the Runaway Bunny, it is by Margaret Wise Brown. This is a children’s classic about a little bunny who wants to run away from home but his mother shows him that her love for him is greater than his desire to leave.
show the werld your not a giveng up train!
thats my favrite
we dont ever give up
I really enjoyed the story. It is full on encouragement
A few of my RL kids sat and listened also.
like your doggie like two times reading like not being car or plane forgets more
Kathy Broady says
Thanks to all of you for listening to the story! I’m glad you all liked it!
It’s always good to not be a giving-up train!!