I am still amazed by the excellent group discussion and active participation that was generated by my last blog post. Considering that one of the main purposes of this blog is to “discuss dissociation”, I think that’s good!
Thank YOU for your active interest. I genuinely appreciate that.
I have been contemplating a number of different follow up topics after such an intense discussion. There is a wide variety of important offshoot directions that I could take.
However, after reading some of the comments submitted, I’ve decided to first post some tips and guidelines to remember while using this blog as a healing resource.
The longer I have Discussing Dissociation, the more I can see how reading this blog — or any blog – can have a significant impact as a healing resource.
What do you do with the information that you read?
Why do you read it?
What keeps you interested and coming back?
I’ve been thinking about all that, and it’s becoming clearer to me how this blog is having an impact on the healing process for many of you.
Thank you. I am genuinely honored that so many of you are using this blog as a resource.
There are some things that I would like for you to remember while you are reading this blog:
1. I am simply sharing my thoughts based on my experiences as a trauma therapist who specialized in Dissociative Identity Disorder, but there is nothing “simple” about DID.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that!! Needless to say, I find it very hard to dissect the complex, layered, multi-faceted elements of DID into any one single article, 700-1500 words at a time. There is just sooooo much more to say about each and every topic, and please know that for every point in one direction, I completely understand there are 20 other points facing other directions. But one blog article can only be so long before it becomes too cumbersome to read or write. But … keep reading over time. The more I post, the more the various angles will be addressed.
Also, please note: if you need to go deeper into subject areas, please know that I am actively making new materials for that very purpose. I work on these projects every week, and you’ll hear more as soon as possible. In the meantime, DID Phone Consultations with me, and DID Email Consultations are available with Laura.
2. The way each individual trauma therapist conducts his or her therapy sessions is as unique as the way an artist paints a picture.
Your therapist may very well do things very differently than I do. That is not unusual, and the challenge is to incorporate the information and methods that works best for you and your healing. It is not about right or wrong – it is about what works for you.
3. I hope that the issues discussed in this blog encourage you to think.
I do not presume to have all the answers, but I can give you a starting place to process and explore your trauma issues. Learning to think for yourself is a very crucial part of your healing. Please take the information I provide and work with it as it fits for you. Ask yourself questions. Journal about it. Check inside. Write a comment. Write more about it on your own blog. Just remember – your abusers would have controlled your thinking for a very long time. Breaking out of their dictated thought processes is very important, so yes — thinking on your own is a very good thing.
4. It is okay, and even beneficial, to take the topics you have read in this blog to your therapist, especially for more individual discussion on a personal level.
I write about the things I have learned in my 25+ years of working with trauma and dissociative disorders.
I know patterns relating to the DID/MPD diagnosis, typical information about survivors with DID/MPD, techniques to use in sessions, questions to ask, etc. But your therapist knows you and your internal system. If you find information that seems to fit you, please discuss this further with your therapist.
5. If you feel particularly triggered or upset by anything written in this blog, including the comments written by other readers, please discuss this with your therapist.
Emotional triggers can be uncomfortable and upsetting, but they can also be enormously valuable milestones in your healing process. If you work with triggers to understand what they are bringing up for you, you can most definitely use this information to push further into your healing.
6. Please understand that your therapist and I may have very different approaches to working with DID.
That is okay – to each his own. There are certainly many different recipes for lasagne!
As I said, each therapist is his or her own person, and we all work in the ways that best fit us as individuals. However, if you see a significant contradiction in what I say compared to what your therapist does, it is okay and important to talk to your therapist about this. This blog is not intended to undermine your therapy or your therapist’s opinion. I emphasize again — I hope that you can and will openly discuss any significant questions or concerns with your therapist, as needed.
7. If you are a regular reader of this blog, I strongly encourage you to let your therapist know that you read here,
This is especially important when you are have any personal or internal reactions (either positive or negative) while reading here. It’s often important for a therapist to know where their clients are getting information. It’s been historically proven that some members the dissociative population can be easily persuaded and affected by opinions of others. If you feel or believe that this blog is affecting you on that level, please be sure to discuss this with your therapist.
8. If needed, individual consultations are available from Discussing Dissociation.
If you want to discuss the topics you read on this blog with me on a more extended or personal basis, you are welcome to contact me for an individual phone consultation. Also, if you prefer to write quietly instead of talking the phone, email consultations with Laura are available.
9. Remember that you will be reading and interpreting articles and comments from your own personal perspectives, life experiences, and trauma issues, unique to yourself.
It’s nearly impossible to not do this. The key isn’t to fight or deny that, but to be aware of its impact. We all assign meaning and interpretation of what we read from our history and assumptions. It typically takes a lot of hard work and detailed conversation to genuinely understand each other, especially if someone is saying something different than what you already believe or expect. Genuine communication is hard work. But that’s okay. It’s important work.
10. The other readers here will be commenting from their own unique life perspectives and experiences, which may be the same or very different from your own.
If you look, you’ll see examples to what I’m talking about. Of course, you can all see what I’ve written and you can hear my preferences. Go beyond that for variety. There are well over 7000 comments made here in this blog. Have you noticed that some of the frequent commenters here have a visible theme / repeated perspective to their comments? Remember — I did not say this is a bad thing. It’s an engrained perspective that naturally affects interpretation. What is your long-term perspective on therapy / therapists / healing / DID / abuse, etc.? How do these things affect how your think? Just keep these ideas in mind as you are interpreting what you read.
More Dissoci-ACTION Questions for Thought:
Your thoughts are important to me. I would love to hear your answers to these questions in the comment section found below, at the bottom of the page.
When you read something on this blog (or any blog) that is particularly powerful for you, what do you do with that information?
Do you journal about it? Talk with your insiders about it? Do you talk to your therapist about it?
How does reading this blog help you? What does it give you?
How does this blog impact your life? Your healing? Your therapy?
How does reading the blogs of other survivors help you?
What do you do with differences of opinion? Is it okay for people to disagree? Is it upsetting for you to see conflicting perspectives?
What if I present an idea that is opposite to how your therapist works. What do you do then?
How do you incorporate what you are learning here into your daily life with your insiders?
What do your insiders think of the various topics covered in this blog? Are you all talking together about the information you read here?
Good communication is very hard work, but positive internal communication is the key to healing from Dissociative Identity Disorder.
The more you can talk and communicate effectively with your entire system, the more healing and progress you will make.
My hope is that you will let what you are learning from communicating in this blog group apply towards helping you communicate effectively with your internal system group.
I absolutely, well and truly, wish you the best in your healing journey.
If I can be of any further help for you, please let me know.
For additional help from this blog, check out:
- 10 Big Benefits of Being on the Email List for Discussing Dissociation
- DID Email Consultations with Laura from Discussing Dissociation
- DID Phone Consultations with Kathy from Discussing Dissociation
- Who are these bears?
- Educational Videos about Dissociative Identity Disorder
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
KenKen, Oh no, computer+cat+coffee = cat-tastrophe 🐈😱😲
KenKen, you are my sage, my mentor, my guru. Thank you. The team will work together on healing projects as much as possible. SJ so loves hearing from you.
Sarah D, it sounds like you exercised important boundaries. Do you practice boundaries with inside and/or outside people, too.
We have safe spouse and children, and still we need better boundaries because our teen parts need to know they are not our outside teen children, nor should we empathically feel their feelings. Boundaries! Trying. Remind self:we are dad; children are children. Simple ideas with sophisticated implications (nod to da Vinci for that concept). Thanks for talking to me. And for looking at my blog. I feel special. 😀 10/10/18
I come to DD mostly for community. I feel “in the company.” I have learned new skills from friends and strangers here.
KenKen taught me how to get out of substandard internal “housing.” It worked! She has also taught me bravery and perseverance. I care what she has to say.
This blog allows me to say to myself what I need to hear while also offering support to others. Sometimes I feel validated, seen, supported, and even special.
My therapist knows I participate here. Some issues from therapy and from DD cross over.
This blog helps me set boundaries because I choose not to get too involved. I have limited energy and choose to use it on survival and nurturing my outside family. When I need help I come here and when I have extra energy to share I come here. I also come here to share my victories and sorrows just to get them off my chest.
I don’t agree with everything I read, which helps me build my confidence in my discernment and also helps me practice living out my values.
I feel safe here. I sometimes feel scared and alone as a man with so many traumas, and friends here have accepted me as-is. That is a gift.
Kathy is highly accessible and vigilant in keeping DD a safe space.
While I miss Wren, I’m glad to read posts and talk with ME+WE, MultipleMe, MissyMing, Naturluvr,HazelE,and many, many other frequent and new folks. 10/9/18
A quick note to say… I’m touched that you know my name. I’m always surprised by that, when people remember that I exist if I am in front of them (either literally or virtually).
I agree with a lot of what you said above. I am finding that I am trying hard to keep some distance here, both because it is hard for me to trust people and also because it’s hard for me to follow conversations (and I’m scared of how public it is). But I am drawn back over and over because I’m lonely and because there is so much kindness. And because Kathy’s protectiveness of ‘her people’ is part of something we long for (although it is one of the most difficult things to trust). And I like that it’s ok for different parts to be around – for instance, I’m using biggish words and fancy sentences right now because I’ve been working. It kind of freaks me out because I feel like I don’t sound like the person who usually posts here (often in moments of intense loneliness/fear/despair).
I’m glad that you feel accepted as a man, as whoever you are. One of the most important things I’ve learned from other DID survivors is that there are as many different stories, kinds of people, and systems as there are individuals with DID. It’s kind of cool… like a mini-lesson on accepting all people as the experts of their own experience.
“Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” —Dale Carnegie
KenKen to SJ and T.Clark says
TY for saying that! Yous no idea how much we needed to hear we are valuable to yous and we have been helpful.
T.Clark and SJ
We were responding to a post of yours on the original ONCS page when our cat knocked over a full cup of coffee on top our brand new computer tower😣 so we been frantically trying to dry out. So far, no joy😕. So now we writing hunt and peck, two finger style on small screen e-reader. Gonna get us some mad new skills (and probably a plug in keyboard, lol). We still want to respond to yous…bear with us though cuz we gonna have lots of typos, probably.
You was saying about reading book on male sexual abuse survivors and SJ was close cuz she was just out. And how that made her feel perplexed and how yous were in turmoil. I think I covered a lot of what you wrote that I can remember.
SJ, I can understand how you must be feeling. Moments like this would bring up all the grief feelings plus I would feel alone and isolated and not understood and confused and hurt. It’s so hard to be more than one inside one body and even harder being female in a male body and even harder still being the only female in the system, (and the other way around for male insiders in female outside bodies). It is perfectly understandable if you feel all kinds of emotions about it all. And in all that I can imagine it brings up questions of why. Some of our guys want to know why they were made male inside a female body system. And the females sometimes think that the guys feelings and needs don’t matter as much as theirs do. Truth is they matter big time. Just like yours do.
It’s good to find ways that help, like what T.Clark says about reading his book when you all have switched further. I think the energy yous use in processing this and the deeper feelings and meanings behind this is well worthwhile and deeply meaningful and helpful to and for you, SJ. The thoughts others are having about not spending the effort and energy maybe needs to be reconsidered.
Take care of you, too!
Sarah D. says
Thank you for posting this. I really like how you name the difficulty you experience related to this blog and name the virtue it teaches. I value your perspective, wisdom and ability to share.
A few months ago, my T advised me to take a break from the blog because of the intense turmoil I was experiencing. I continue to read posts here and I have read some of your blog. I feel strong connection with the three survivors that replied to my first post in back in May 2018, T. Clark, Kennedy (KenKen), and ME+WE.
Thank you for seeing me.
Kathy, thank you for providing this space and caring so deeply for each of us.
Oct 9, 2018
This blog has helped me and I have shared articles and posts with my therapist…..I am still in the “new” realm of even accepting that there are “parts”…..sometimes what I see Inside feels more “real” to me than anything on the Outside…yet there are times when I think I must be losing my mind and making everything up….when I read the information in articles and I read about struggles others have…it makes me feel less “crazy” – helping me to be able to realize that it is just all part of the process of understanding who I am…..
What I am dealing with now (besides the given fact of trying to understand why there are even “others” Inside), is trying to learn how to work through Inside stuff while maintaining functioning and keeping a job on the Outside. Techniques, perspectives, and yes – even struggles – that others share helps me to understand where I am at and helps give me the ability (or even the “want to”) to take a deep breath and try to put one foot – even if only a fraction of an inch – in front of the other.
In the beginning my therapist would mention “parts” to me (because she had been aware of them in me)…but I couldn’t grasp how my life matched what she was saying. When I started reading others’ stories and struggles on the blog and saw how much my life was so similar to theirs…it gave me a more open ear to what my therapist was telling me….less tendency to “fight” what I was sensing…..I noticed that the more I “fought” and “denied” “parts”….the greater the turmoil within…..I had to start accepting that THEY had a “voice” that I needed to learn how to hear…….
Yes, sometimes the blog comments would cause triggering or confusion in me and I would be roller-coastering for a while….but the ability to “pull out of it”….to be able to step back and look at things “objectively” rather than being overwhelmed and lost in the “feeling” of the trigger has also increased….which I think is a GOOD thing!
Sooooo – YES!!! – the blog has helped me…….
So well said here. Just spoke to my heart and experience. I was liberated with my diagnosis (okay that is what is happening to me) and devastated at the same time. The who I was scared me for sure. But the why I got there has terrified me. I am glad to know why my life is the way that it is (that I have insiders) but I struggle every day with the accepting the terror that got me here. Reading here and knowing that I am not alone, in my feelings or the support that this community has to offer, has been a life saver! So, I am here to say that I know, I understand and I have your back MissyMing. We are in this together.
We are in a really rough spot right now. We frequently visit this place. For anyone reading, we share things from this blog frequently with our Therapist.
As a long time People being on the Internet, we have been a member of a MULTITUDE of places. We go back to when the internet was DOS. That makes us OLD!!!!!
We will say that no matter what.. things get misinterpreted in what the author is writing. It happens in speaking as well.
We really like this place. It is what helps us. Sometimes even in the midst of our most miserable places, we find a sliver of truth. That truth.. no matter how painful has lead to change. Change is hard. Change is challenging.. and yes. Change is often painful when your in the middle of it. Some of our worlds greatest beautiful awe has come because of change. You just have to understand that something happened to make some of nature’s beauties.
We share this because growing can be a painful thing.. even if it is great. Seems to us that this place is growing and perhaps going to go through some growing pains.
We .. All the Jill People.. aka Participating Parts.. can say that yes! Oh my Goodness YES! we feel like you have become more than a resource. We feel like you have been a friend. Perhaps not in the everyday type of friend. We feel like this place provides something we struggle to find elsewhere.
Maybe it’s just us..but we find this place very beneficial.
Read our poem again.. posted on this site. We appreciate all who support us!!!!
How does this blog impact your life? Your healing? Your therapy? — Positively. I use it as a “spring board” into my individual therapy sessions. I’m not on here often as some other blogs. I see this as a trusted resource. When I’m stumbling to explain myself, I often come here for help with words. I often come away with an unexpected gem.
How does reading the blogs of other survivors help you? — It helps me to see that I’m not alone. That I’m not crazy, and others feel similarly to me.
What do you do with differences of opinion? Is it okay for people to disagree? Is it upsetting for you to see conflicting perspectives? —- Differences are sometimes triggering. It depends on how it is handled. I just shrink back from that particular topic if it is too triggering to me. But I respect that fact that no one case is completely identical with another.
What if I present an idea that is opposite to how your therapist works. What do you do then? —- I get that everyone has a different therapy style. Sometimes, I’ll approach it with my therapist if I see it beneficial for me.
How do you incorporate what you are learning here into your daily life with your insiders? —- It really has encouraged me to have more internal communication. It has helped me to learn how to soothe and comfort.
What do your insiders think of the various topics covered in this blog? Are you all talking together about the information you read here? — I can’t say we’ve ever had a group conversation (although I keep trying). I talk…they listen…and some give an opinion. I’m not aware of much conversation between my insiders though.
**Above all I seriously love this blog. I feel like it challenges my thinking, but also extends grace in that we are all unique and will approach healing differently and in our own time. I have a hard time following comments (unless it is from an old post), I leave and forget to come back to see how the conversation continued.
we have learend so much from this blog
it have so many good things
we talk abot it with each other
we talk abot it with are talker lady
we dont care if pepol that write replies disagree. some other pepols thots and words on a blog cant hurt us
we have read every articol over and over and over bunches of times
Hello and I have a question! So are you saying that what I do, writing my thoughts and experience in my blog, helps me? And I should as well talk to those who are in my system?
Kathy Broady says
Hello mythoughtsinmydailylife – welcome to Discussing Dissocation.
And to answer your questions:
Yes, of course!
Yes, of course!
Please keep reading around the blog for more detailed explanations from me. The categories of Internal Communication and Therapy Homework Ideas should give you lots more info about these topics.
Happy reading, and thanks for your comment.
Oh thanks and I will. Definitely will
When blogs are not a healing place…
I have found that a blog and forum can give people a false sense of community. I found myself getting completely immersed in the forum and blog and I didn’t have a sense of community outside of there. It became more real than anything on the outside. It was a place where people knew me. It was a place where i took risks and disclosing things and risks with trusting people. I don’t think it was a smart thing to do on my part. I was trusting something so unstable and something that could just disappear. I still visit because I miss that community even if it wasn’t real and I am still grieving it and don’t know how to create something real in the real world. I don’t think its healthy me still visiting and especially commenting because it was devastating when everything disappeared. I guess there’s still a part of me aching for it and hoping for something that doesn’t exist.
I think blogs and forums can be dangerous for vulnerable people who find it difficult to know what is real and what is not. It is dangerous for people who don’t have a lot of support on the outside and rely too heavily on something so fragile. Its a dangerous place to disclose things that may be ignored or never responded to… its not a good place to start trusting… I understand that these places perhaps were never designed to do this but still I think they attract vulnerable people.
Wounded Genius says
Thanks for the response. I understand the differences between forums and IM.. what I was really getting at I think is the following question:
* How to you ensure that online work with you as one therapist (where a specific paid-for therapeutic service is being offered and received), is integrated into the work a person is doing with their offline therapist?
I can see the value of IM or e-therapy with a (ie any qualified) therapist, and indeed with one’s existing therapist as additional support but what about offering an online service on top of an existing therapeutic relationship without, as part of the process, *requiring* professional involvement from the existing therapy provider?
Is it not the same as someone who has an existing therapist going out and finding another in addition without telling the first? As an analysand I would find that bizarre and confusing if not dangerous!
I guess it compares to one doctor prescribing one medication and another coming along and prescribing something else on top of that without consulting with or having knowledge of the other. Do you for example require participants to inform their existing therapists? or do you coordinate with each client’s existing therapist or do you only work with people who have no other existing therapist?
I think offering support to people with DID is great – – sure we need all we can get and the blog posts here are an amazing resource for me ….but given the need for safety above everything, it would just be good to hear some reassurance about the professional regulations adhered to in offering these services.
The comments I have made resently have come from a confussed and bewildered space. But I hadn’t been able to talk about this confussion with anyone. By commenting on this blog I could try out my questions and concerns with alot less risk and exposure. This gave me the confidence to talk to my therapist about it this week. We had to translate it through an ‘interpreter’ so some of the ideas got lost but it was a huge step. I think being able to comment is helpful and Kathy gives really good answers.
Wounded Genius says
@ David – that’s interesting, I thought about that too, but more than comments (which can be controlled and approved or deleted), how would discussions within forums and IM integrate into each person’s therapy? Given the miscommunication in comments which are there for everyone to see, I can only imagine the chaos a forum/IM could create. I’m sure Kathy has something to contribute on this.
Kathy Broady says
Hey Wounded Genius,
Thanks for your comment and the question / topic.
(And David, I’ll be writing up a response to the stuff you sent as well. Thanks for your thoughts – I haven’t forgotten! Just been really busy this week with other stuff, but will get back with you about that.)
In my experience, discussions in forums and IMs are each quite different than the discussions here in this blog setting.
I only participated in one forum for DID, so I’m basing my comments from that. BUT, I’ve been involved with SurvivorForum (SF) for over four years at this point in time. There are over 56,000 posts in that forum, so its been busy, and I’ve seen a wide variety of situations with a lot of different people during its existence.
The forum, as I see it, is much more conversational than out here in the blogosphere. The setting is more intimate and private, and people get to know each other better.
In my forum SF, the focus is not about talking to me/Kathy — because the purpose of the group is for guided / protected group support, and not individual therapy. Also, while I may start some of the topics of discussion, most of them are created by the group members themselves, and the discussions are based on their thoughts-questions-experiences instead of commenting on a specific article that I’ve presented. And of course, any number of different topics can be active ongoing discussions on any day of the year. That makes the forum a much more interactive place, and the opportunity to converse with each other is easier. Written communication can be difficult, but the increased interaction back and forth makes it easier to clarify what is / isn’t being said.
I’ve found SF to be helpful in terms of therapeutic support because it can be difficult to find a “in-person” DID support group, but having understanding, feedback, and challenges from other survivors who have been there is an important element of healing that one cannot get in individual therapy.
The blog community can provide an element of that, but for people who want more personal privacy than posting on a public website, blogs have some limitations.
But the involvement of other survivors is important. I might say something til I’m blue in the face, but if another DID survivor says it, then that point can be more heard or accepted (and the opposite situation can happen as well.) The point being – it’s the mix of both individual therapy and group therapy that is helpful.
IM conversations are a wonderful aspect of online therapy.
IM is much like a conversation between two people, and there is a lot of room for asking / clarifying, listening / making sure to understand what is being said. There are a few topics that are less effective to discuss over IM (obviously, the more emotional or heated the discussion, and/or the more conflictual the topic, the less effective IM will be), but for regular conversations, IM is very good.
One of the benefits of IM conversations is that they can be saved and read again later. For people with DID, forgetting what happened in the session is all too common. Having an IM session retains the session material, and the survivor can read thru’ it over and over as many times as necessary. And yes, I can see when people switch in IM’s!! Once you understand what switching looks like, it can be obvious in an IM as well. Try denying THAT when you go back and read thru’ the session again. 🙂
IMs can be very flexible in terms of timing… they can happen across wide distances, and across country lines.
These online options provide trauma therapy for those who do not have the option in their local area.
And… if it isn’t for everyone, that is also ok.
There is not any one single form or style of therapy that works best for EVERYone. Having a variety of options is what matters, and having a variety of techniques to use for various issues is better than trying to shove everyone one into one set procedure.
So for me — it’s just exciting, because it is creative, different, and allows for all kinds of possibilities….
I hope that explains it a little more….
Thanks for the comment!
UPDATE: SurvivorForum was a very very busy place until 2011, when I moved to another country with very poor internet service at the time. The SF forum is closed now, but considerations for opening a new forum are being discussed.
I actually think the comments are helpful sometimes at least for me. They sometimes articulate things I cant myself or I can say yes thats exactly how it is for me and gain a better understanding of myself as a result. Would I use this as a therapy subsitute ..no..and sometimes I think that one has to be careful as depending on where we are in therapy etc the suggestions offered may not be appropriate at that time, but I guess this is where it is important to let T know we are reading here.
I suppose I wonder in what way you benefit from the public “conversations” on the blog.This intrigues me, because despite the disclaimer above, writing a therapy-based blog, and interacting with commenters, most of whom are other therapists’ clients, seems to me to be a gray area, ethically speaking. This strikes me whenever I see a professional therapist writing a blog that involves interaction with commenters, unless that therapist is writing about his or her own life, rather than about therapy issues in general. And this may simply be my own curious notion of how things are or should be, and irrelevant to anyone else’s frame of reference.
But what I see is this: that if comments were not permitted here, commenters would *have* to take triggering or troublesome issues back to their own therapists, rather than asking you questions. Once a question is asked of you, you are engaging with that commenter on a therapeutic basis, without knowing anything about where that person is in his or her process, what philosophy the therapist is following, etc. I don’t for a moment doubt that your motives reflect absolute dedication to the DID/survivor community, but I do wonder how, as a professional therapist, you are able to justify possibly intruding on an existing therapeutic relationship when you respond in detail to comments or questions that very specifically address healing methodology. I wonder whether it would be OK with you if you had a very fragile client who was interacting with another therapist in this way.
I realize that regardless of my mental tone of voice while I am typing this, it is going to come across as judgmental or hectoring, and I really don’t mean it to; I am genuinely puzzled as to where that line is, between helping, and stepping into a relationship that should be protected between client and therapist.
Regarding clarity issues — from an editorial standpoint, I might suggest that at this point, you have a fairly good idea of the types of things that tend to be routinely misunderstood. It’s always a good idea to include examples. It’s always better to break up something complex into four small, more detailed posts, rather than one long one that freaks people out. People with DID will almost always take something non-specific and translate it into the worst possible thing they can think of, so it’s better to be specific. And so on. If you were writing a book about your experiences and insights as a therapist, you wouldn’t have the benefit of commenter feedback, and your methodology of writing might change, as a result. I think it is quite possible to improve your writing without reader comments/questions, and perhaps it’s arguable that if you were not engaged with reader comments, you’d have more time to step back from posts before they go live, and read them with a more critical eye, simply because you’d have more time.
This is just a thought, but — I wonder if possibly the blog might be more effective if comments weren’t allowed, and if it were simply a pure resource for the dissemination of information. It seems to me, probably unfairly, that commenters are often looking for attention from you and from each other, in ways that are perhaps not supportive of their relationships with their own therapists. There are forums available for those who want interactive discussion.
I can see how the comment feature may be helpful, but I can also see how the lure of immediate interaction might easily be used to reinforce separation from the commenters’ own therapist, especially when there are mixed feelings, confusion, or negative transference going on. Of course, this is the commenter’s responsibility to sort out, but given the frequent confusion and misunderstandings in the comments, I wonder how helpful that option really is.
Kathy Broady says
That’s an interesting thought…
I hear your point — which is a yet another reason I hope that no one keeps their participation at this blog a “secret” from your therapist. And certainly, the intention of this blog is to not ever come between anyone and their therapist. If that is happening — please look at the deeper issues, and address that conflict with your therapist asap.
Please know: To the Readers on this Site: If it would be helpful for me to have a consultation role, (on a one-time basis, or on an ongoing basis), please contact me. I am willing to help in whatever way that is suiting or fitting for your situation.
Back in the days of SurvivorForum: At SF, I interacted primarily with the therapeutic members within the group setting. The point being… if you need more therapeutic support, that was an optional resource for each and everyone of you. UPDATE: A new forum is under consideration.
As for the comments on this blog….
For me, the comments are the best part of this blog! I already know what I think – I want to know what y’all think. 🙂
I also think the comments allow for clarification and questions. With all the blog articles — even when I think I’ve written something as clear as day — there are very often comments and questions that show me that there is more to explain. Or I need to say it in a different way. Or… I need to provide an example —
So in that sense, the comments and feedback are really helpful, because it allows me to know where I’m not being clear.
What do y’all think?
Thanks for the comment, David. That’s certainly something to think about….
Kathy Broady says
Thank you for your comment – and I am so very pleased to hear that this blog has been helpful, and that you have shared the info about this blog to your therapist. There’s lots to read, and more to come. 🙂
So yes, please keep coming back because I have no plans of going away. 🙂
As you suggest here, I have shared some of your comments and insights with my therapist and I thank you so much for providing this resource. I really do understand dissociation so much better now, and am less judgmental about my symptoms. You are providing a very significant source of information to the on-line survivor community; I hope you continue.