What does your home say about you?
Is your multiplicity evident in the way you keep your home?
Your home is your own personal space and it is important that you are ok and comfortable in that space. Your home may also be reflective of who you are or how your life is at the moment, including the way things work in your internal system.
When you look around the rooms in your house, what evidence is there of your DID/MPD? Could someone wonder if you had dissociative identity disorder just by the items you have in your room?
If so, that is not necessarily a problem or concern, but it could be very interesting to have a look around and see what your system is saying by the way your house / room looks. Take that exterior picture and see how it applies to your internal system.
Look for the evidence in your home of the following three areas related to multiplicity:
A. Child Parts
Think about the way your child parts impact your life and your system. When you look around your home, what kinds of things do you have that show you have kid parts, alive and well, active and interested in child-related items? Do you have 10 – 20 – 30+ visible items that belong to child parts? Do the rooms look more adult, or do the child items outnumber or overpower the amount of adult items in your rooms? How is that reflective of your internal system? Meaning, do your child parts tend to outnumber or override the adults in your system just like the child items are visually predominant in your house?
If your child parts are more visibly dominant in your home, how are they emotionally dominant in your life? Do you make more decisions based on the preferences of your child parts than with your adult parts? Do you respond or react more with your child parts vs. your adult parts? Do your kids have the final say more than you realize?
B. Parts of the Opposite Gender
When you look around your home, what items do you have that show you have male alters (or for guys, having female alters)? Like Buck from United States of Tara, do you have items that are clearly and distinctly very masculine in presentation? Does your home look like a guy’s room or a girl’s room?
Look around your home again — is your living space decorated more with more feminine tastes or with more masculine tastes? How does that match your internal system? Is your system predominantly male-dominated or female-dominated? How have your powerful male alters affected how your home looks?
There are women who can have predominantly male-based systems. There are also women who have systems whose main internal leaders are male. How do these male-lead preferences affect the way your home looks? Would your male-dominated system “allow” a flowery pink décor in your home?
C. Organization vs. Chaos
Is your house a picture of organization or a picture of chaos? How does that relate to the amount of organization and chaos that you have in your system? If you cannot organize your external house, does that parallel your difficulty in organizing your system, and vice versa?
Do you find yourself cleaning your house more when you feel dirty and gross on the inside? Or do you find that you cannot clean your house and that when you feel messy and dirty internally, your external living areas also look messy and dirty?
Who cleans your home? Do you have a designated homemaker like Alice in United States of Tara? Do your cleaning parts have a history of having to do cleaning jobs in connection to your abuse? Does this make it easier for you to clean, or more difficult for you to clean? How does cleaning your home relate to your childhood in any way?
What seems to be a normal, mundane task can actually have deep roots in your history, including your trauma.
Your external world may often be a picture of your multiplicity, your internal world, and your trauma history.
- How does your home reflect your multiplicity?
- How does your home look like your internal worlds?
- How does your home look like your emotional state of being?
- What is your home saying about you and your system?
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation