The NICSA Survey (Negative Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse) from AbuseConsultants asks if trauma survivors have felt an impact on their feelings of fear and ability to trust.
It is abundantly clear from the results of the survey that dissociative survivors of severe, chronic traumas typically have lives filled with fear.
For victims of childhood sexual abuse, fear becomes their constant companion, a way of life, a normal state of mind. Fear becomes ingrained in behaviors and in emotions, and it is wired deeply within brain activity. It becomes very difficult for the traumatized person to re-connect with a feeling of safety.
Fear locks the PTSD in place.
Or maybe, the PTSD locks the fear in place.
Either way, the past constantly affects the present, and overcoming the years of fear is a major hurdle in the life of a trauma survivor. It takes experiencing safe situations over and over and over to help balance out the years of trauma-based fear. One “corrective emotional experience” will likely not be sufficient for healing. Bunches and bunches of corrective emotional experiences are necessary.
In my years of working with trauma survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder, I have found some of the following fears to be common.
FEAR
- Constant fear and no sense of safety or security anywhere or any time
- Constant fear about something, anything, always
- No peace, no ability to relax, constant hypervigilance
- Inappropriate or extreme over-reactive responses to problems due to fear and ingrained beliefs that something bad will happen
- Always waiting and anticipating the next bad thing that will happen
- Very fatalistic thinking, preparing for doomsday — because bad stuff did happen so frequently, repeatedly, it was the one constant that could be expected — so it’s best to always be prepared for and expecting the worst
- Fear of public places, or interacting out in the world. Maybe this is a fear of leaving home, or simply a fear of interacting with so many new people.
- Fears involving grocery stores — makes shopping for food extremely difficult or simply more expensive at the smaller corner stores.
- Shopping malls, which are typically too stimulating and overwhelming, with far too many lights, sounds, flashing items, too much movement, crowding, and chaos.
- Churches — fears of judgment or demonization, or frankly, fears of being abused in the church or by a church member or church official. All too many DID survivors experienced variations of spiritual abuse.
- Schools — involving a fear of failure, a fear of not being able to concentrate or pass, an inability to be consistent in class, and lost time / missing time making it difficult to retain classroom learning.
- Crippling, debilitating fear can make a person housebound for extended periods of time — this clearly creates enormous difficulties in living daily life.
A close companion to overwhelming fear becomes the difficulties with trust.
When someone is so fearful, it is very difficult to trust. Years of negative, traumatic, painful, rejecting experiences have also taught the trauma survivor that trust is not necessarily a smart thing to do.
Once again, having a huge number of appropriate, safe corrective experiences will eventually make a significant difference. But this does not happen quickly.
In my years of clinical work, dissociative trauma survivors and victims of childhood sexual abuse experience a great deal of mistrust in some of the following areas.
MISTRUST
- Not believing that anybody or anything can be trusted
- Severely damaged, or no sense of trust in God
- Severely damaged, or no sense of trust in people
- Great difficulty with expressing tender, vulnerable emotions with other people or themselves
- A belief that people can be dispensable possessions or dehumanized objects
- A deeply ingrained mentality that people are to be used or manipulated or controlled, including themselves
- Extreme difficulty in forming and keeping interpersonal relationships due this intolerable level of mistrust
- Often a belief that animals and nature are the only living things that can be trusted for comfort and companionship
- Repeated confused conversations and tangled interactions with other people because of a tendency for survivors to incorrectly jump to negative assumptions and perceptions based on past troubles instead of looking closely at the current day reality.
- An inability to develop or maintain a sense of self-trust because the defined sense of self was lost long ago during the abuse.
- Dissociative Disorders create amnesia and loss of time, and severe abuse creates a wide variety of alters with any number of conflicting beliefs and perspectives, making the ability to trust time, memory, and consistency within oneself not easily obtainable.
The struggles with fear and mistrust can affect a trauma survivor’s entire life.
The negative, painful, destructive lessons taught by sadistic perpetrators are hard to overcome and require a tremendous amount of therapy, healing work, determination, willingness, and persistence.
Dissoci-ACTION Questions
- How have feelings of fear and mistrust been difficult for you?
- What do you do when your fear overwhelms you?
- What do you do to build trusting relationships with other people?
- What have you done that was successful at helping to eliminate or remove these negative effects of childhood sexual abuse from your life?
I wish you the best in your healing journey. Be safe !
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
Every single thing listed under fear and mistrust, is me.
I wonder if I will ever not be terrified . I wonder if I will ever trust anyone.
Even though there might be someone trustworthy, I am too terrified of being hurt again.
I think I am probably a big sissy.
I am still working on this part – the fear, the mistrust….it is especially hard concerning a particular co-worker…..I try to look “OK” on the Outside (i.e. friendly, not rude, etc)…but Inside I am so HUGELY triggered….every part (it feels like) is watching her and I get rivers of “feedback” from the parts telling me that she CANNOT be trusted, WATCH OUT – she manipulates and deceives……She has done some questionable things (which to me look very deceptive and manipulative) – but because I don’t see it really bothering any of the Outsiders who matter – I am left with massive confusion and having to swallow Rage again and again…….I am held to a high level of accountability with my boss….yet I see her do as she will – me not knowing if he is aware of it or not…..but I no longer can say anything……
It has now oozed over to the boss who has previously come across as “accepting” of me (I have had to “share” some PTSD stuff with him so he would understand some of the panic that has bubbled up – and not fire me)…..There have been some comments he has made and actions taken that have totally confused me and I CANNOT ask him about them without looking totally weird or like I am accusing him….and now there are all these HUGE triggers that tell me HE is being deceptive and manipulating me…that he is actually getting info about me to use against me….that he is head-gaming me – making me think he is “safe” and he really is NOT….that he is feeding all my info to her so I can see the smirks on her face throughout my shift……
Triggers about “betrayal” are SO. SO in my face lately….and I don’t know how to handle it…..When the triggers hit during work – I am left in the Twilight Zone of confusion about what is past and what is present and am I imagining things….All I can feel is “WARNING!! WARNING!! DO NOT TRUST!”….but the fact that I don’t see it bothering others as bad as it does me – leaves me wondering if I am just “blowing things out of proportion”………
When the “past” (which I still don’t know what all it is yet) starts blending into the “present” – how do you find the separating line?…..When you are swallowed up in rivers of swirling emotions and warnings – how do you make yourself respond in a way that Outsiders would call “normal”……
If I “believe” the warnings…then it can cause HUGE problems for me at work…..If I choose to “ignore” the warnings…then parts get really upset because I am not “hearing” them…..I just end up bouncing back and forth REALLY BAD…….
I consider finding another job….but totally DREAD the “starting over again” mode….PLUS – I am afraid that I will see that “smirk” on her face because she now has what she wanted….me gone…..
Yet I don’t know if I have made all THAT up or not either …..sometimes I feel so, so paranoid…….
MissyMing,
Wow it sounds so confusing and like things are going back and forth. But you’re really articulate at explaining what is going on. So that makes me think you are pretty wise and discerning…that maybe you questioning things and yourself so much is not because of you but because of other outsiders putting their junk on you. Don’t take their junk! Just remind yourself (I know, easier said than done) how strong and capable you are. You haven’t gotten this far just by existing; you have accomplished so much I’m sure.
Just wanted you to know that I read your post and am sending supportive thoughts you’re way.
MultipleMe
11/24/18
Thank you MultipleMe….I just re-read my post and am surprised that you could get what I was saying….I was confusing myself! Am still working through this…..hopefully one day I will get all this stuff figured out for me……I know triggers happen when there is “something” that is similar to your trauma….my problem is figuring out when I am “over-reacting”….Is what I am feeling the parts reacting to THEIR experienced trauma….or does it really apply to the present? ……it is quite a journey…..Thank you for letting me vent……
Good Article Kathy. Hmmm. I see that considering what I’ve been thru ~ I’m pretty normal. WoW cause I never get to say that! It feels good! 😊
Fear, yes… constantly especially when leaving my house.
Hi Susa,
Just wanted to say hi and offer my sincere good wishes. I hope that you know/feel that you are safe here. The outside world can certainly be big and scary but you can come here to feel safe with what you are experiencing and dealing with. On the blog – Our Normal Complicated Selves – we have talked about our basket of safety nets. Maybe some of the ideas there will help you feel safer in the outside world. You may want to post questions or tell us what you feeling about the outside world so we can share our experiences and ideas. Or, maybe you just want and come and talk about whatever you want to in a place of safety. We are here to help when and if we can.
ME+WE
01/08/2018
we sre doing lots better at this, although we still dont trust anyone. But we have gotten braver. Mae still deals with these challenges all the time, but the rest of us are making progress.
TRUST IS STUPID BROADY
THERES NO ONE SAFE TO TRUST
TRUSTING ANYONE JUST GETS YOU FUCKED OVER
PEOPLE THAT TRUST OTHERS ARE FUCKING IDIOTS
This is our other biggest issue. We dont trust anyone or anything, and nothing is ever safe. Sometimes a small amount of trust builds up, but gets destroyed for them by the smallest things. I dont know how to teach them to trust or how to be less fearful. I can do it easily with outsid kids, but with our inside kids, so far it is not happening. I would love to learn how to help them feel safe and teach them to trust someone.
i dont trus enebuddy enymore 🙁 i did for a litol wile but now i dont
it to scary
i dont no if i ever gona trust enebuddy agan
i try to trust God
i do be afrad of evrething 🙁
it to be rel scary here
scary all the time
oways is scary
there dont be enebuddy to trust
claire
we oways afraid
we dont trust enebudy
how do we lern to do that./?
cos i want to
what makes it so you can lern to trust sombudy
how do we lern to not be afrad of evrything?
can we talk bout that.?
do you got a post bout that somwhare?
All of these on both lists are true for us, except for since we’re Christians we’ve overcome the thing about church, but that took a good 30 years and some days we still slip back into the stuff from the old days even with that. And starting in January 2009 we started being able to get out of the house. So..2 down… the rest to go.
I am encouraged that i am not the only one who stays away from public places. I just feel better when i stay inside my house. I guess now that it is my house, i don’t have to sit in the corner to be safe, i can roam about the rooms in comfort. Does make it hard to raise kids when i can’t even go to park for fear of watching eyes.
I am working hard at this as i have new safe place to go, my church. I am still anxious around all the people, but the terrifying feelings are not there anymore.
I’ll admit that it is easier to let ‘her’ go out ‘there’ in the world. My mask. But she’s not healthy either. She’s the one who wants control of this body and mind, and i’m the one who let her have it all those years ago and now i want it back and don’t know how to get there.
Fear & mistrust have been constant companions, as well as my teachers teaching me to be a ‘good’ mom. How is my reactions to life affecting my children? I kept them safe from childhood abuse because of crazy fear i have. That’s good right? But what about the rest?
Thank you for responding Kathy,
I have thought about Survivor Forum and the very mistrust and fear issues we are addressing have held me back from even emailing you to discuss it. It sounds good.
I had a concern as to whether involving myself in it would somehow cause conflicts with the therapy I am already doing. I think having multiple sources of good input can be an awesome thing, but I also know that too much input can cause me to meltdown if they have very different positions on stuff.
My Christian faith has been a very good thing in my life and some therapists I encountered along my way had a problem with that and forced me to choose one or the other. My T is a Christian and lives her faith as honestly as anyone I’ve ever known and is also a very skilled and intuitive counselor.
Thanks for the reminder about S. Forum, I may contact you about it after speaking to my T about how to utilize it without pulling my parts into too many directions.
Leslie and Her Pixies
wi duz lif gots to be so fuzzy an hard. we so confus abowt fings. owr hed gets so ful of thots we gets a hedake. i wish we had a mommy. leli
wi it has to tak sooooo long to gets bettr. maks me mad to hav so much sad stuff insides of us. makes me wana frow fings arown an mak a mess. onle i wud gets in trubl if i did. i vere mad. spunky an stormy too. grrrrr
Kathy, I know I already wrote in but I am so miserable tonight, even as the Host part. I do have fears in almost every arena you mentioned and while a faith in God actually has kept me alive it is sort of a miracle because I did have ritual abuse of an occult religious nature that was terrifying. Right now I am hurting so badly because I left the church I’d attended for 12+ years, where my spouse is in leadership because I was being hurt by rejection from my spouse and others when I withdrew from a recovery program that had me actually falling back into external performance rather than healing. I denied for 27 of my 29 years of marriage that my spouse has chosen to reject me because I haven’t been able to “just get over it”. I’ve been in therapy 14 years with the T who dx my with DID and I was one of her first clients with it and she has had to learn and grow occasionally at my expense – sort of like a “first child” for parents. My husband attacks her verbally to me and tells me we are in a co-dependent relationship and it is not true. She accepts me and believes me to be able to heal and change.
I know I am going on sorta long, but I am so alone, my beloved daughters are grown up and now there is me, him and the widening, silent gulf that grows between me and my husband. I can NOT be myself, all of my selves in my own home if he is there and it is slowing down our recovery badly.
Bottom line: I do not believe in divorce accept in cases of dangerous abuse or repeated infidelity and I see my life in this barren place while I just get older and older. I am afraid I will die before we ever get free enough to really live.
I am out of denial, but right now it seems to have lead right to despair. I do not know what it is to have good love between a man and a woman. My children I love and know they love me and animals and I get along just fine. But my husband despises me and refuses to acknowledge me in my own home and tonight – being the weekend this pain is all to sharp and daunting. Thanks for letting me write here, fear and mistrust sleep in the bed with me every night, it is no wonder I have insomnia problems.
we jus so misrubl. we never been lovd and we feels lik we starvin for love.
Leslie and her Pixies – leli and kiki
oh multipixie,
You do sound so very alone and isolated from anyone that understands what you have been thru’…
Have you considered joining SurvivorForum? It’s an interactive group of survivors who write back and forth to each other about all kinds of things surrounding dissociative disorders. The therapeutic membership side is more private and more active than this blog (not viewable to the public, only to the members) and the interactions / conversations there are much more personal. Once you are a member, you can participate 24/7/365. It really really helps people to not feel so alone, especially in their struggles with dissociation.
You really do sound miserable – and maybe, finding some other people that understand about dissociative disorders could be helpful for you. ??!
I really hope you consider joining SurvivorForum. It’s not good for anyone to feel as alone and isolated as you are…
And for anyone else here at the blog reading, if you are feeling lonely and isolated with your dissociative issues, please consider joining SurvivorForum. You really really don’t have to be so alone. There are people that understand.
Kathy
holy cow!
i thought it was just me and mine who hated malls and grocery stores and flocks of people.we always feel like the ceiling is too high and nothing is real in there and so maybe we’re not real, either. it makes for some interesting shopping trips. i’d rather spend 2 weeks foraging in nature than 2 hours finding new clothes. (which is why our wardrobe is all khaki pants and t shirts)
i love your articles–especially what you’ve learned from multiples. i never looked at us as being especially special before.
thanks.
Hi Outsiderinside,
Cute name. 🙂
And I can promise you that you are not the only one that has trouble with malls and grocery stores and flocks of people! And lots of people feel more safer outside in nature than inside anywhere with people, that’s for sure.
I’m glad you like this blog — and yes, multiples have definitely taught me a lot. I certainly did not learn any of this in school, that’s for sure!!! And y’all multiples are a really neat population to know… Mostly, I’m just glad to have met so many really cool people. Brave souls, all of you. Such brave souls….
Kathy
Gosh, I keep reading how many of us use mood/emotion controlling drugs to help us cope. Is life just too “narrow” for all of us – I use Buspirone. It sweetly numbs me out – ALL of me. It’s one med that won’t be selective with my Colors, leaving one of us out there to wade thru the muck of life.
I wanna live, I mean L I V E.
Not just exist and survive.
Ya Happy Earth day. 🙂
When somehow I finally came across the concept of “hypervigilance” it was a big ah ha moment. It wasn’t until after some awareness and help came that I realized just how hideously tormented by fear I have been my entire life. I too still use xanax as a crutch as I am trying to work through the truth about my sham of a marriage – which brings up deep abandonment issues. I only know how bad my fear has been now that my fear is less. I look back and think ” good grief how insanely afraid I really was”..My children even learned to call me very quietly when they needed me at night because if startled I generally levitated off the bed in total panic.
I know a lot of my fears have been based on “cognitive dissonance” (i hope i said that right) – repeated fears of things that have stopped happening many years ago and yet I was still “vigilantly guarding the barn decades after the horse was stolen”!
Right now I am very angry that my peace and safety were abused out of me and I am, at 55, still trying to put my childhood to rest. Very Angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Superb and accurate post as always!
Not sure that “damaged, or no sense of trust in God” is a bad thing though.. there are plenty of people who have that , aren’t DID and think the crazed religious beliefs they impose on others are most righteous. I grew up under the tutelage of two of them!
Personally, am better off without those belief systems even though they seem to give comfort to others- but the rest – phew – spot on.
Happy Earth Day!
hello. this is my first comment, although ive been trying to read here for a bit. im struggling with living, but am having some specialised trauma help now.
i think im scared a lot of the time and this makes me just want to hide and not be seen by anyone. this me is like that. sometimes fear will make me just disappear but im getting slowly better with staying this me when im panicked.
i find building relationships at anything other than a superficial level very hard. i always think im the ‘nice but dim’ sort of one in the corner. im usually busy watching out for anyone who isnt safe who might be around. im building a good relationship with my therapist, who seems to just understand when i get all jumbled.
im having real problems with trying to get over my life so far. ive been seeing this therapist for a year. she said i have to learn to accept the parts of me before i can start to feel more like a whole person, but thats so hard. its just a relief in a way for someone outside of myself to understand how messy it can get.
its not easy to think of all the areas that get trashed.
locket.
hi llocket —
Thanks for venturing out to make your first post here at Discussing Dissociation. It’s good to hear from you.
It sounds like you are doing some real good work in your therapy. There are lots of hard, difficult pockets of work, and having the courage to keep working at it is good.
Your therapist is right to encourage you to accept the other parts of you – they were created to help you. As you become friends with each of the people inside, you’ll feel stronger, and probably less fearful.
You’ve found a good place to be – lots of people here certainly understand how messy life can get….
Thanks for posting – and keep up the good work!
Kathy
fear fear fear fear
Fear……
I have parts that fear nothing.
I have no fear.
The Ma part lives in terror. serious hypochondriac.
I like what juliewtf said, bout not even knowing. i didn’t used to know.
When fear overwhelms, I rock, I repeat ‘its ok, its gonna be Ok’.
And LOL, of course there’s always my friend xanax…
I dunno my history. Not necc CSA.
Definately health stuff. family stuff.
I s’posed to talk to my ikids(inside kids). To calm them down and stuff.
But I don’t wanna.
But I know i gonna have to.
So I just trying to stay OK.
Trying REAL REAL hard to be a good momma.
Its hard.
But I be lucky.
My old T and my new T both be good.
I lucky.
I got HOPE.
I glad you got this place.
The internet is a horrible evil place, but there good here too.
Thanks.
I think there is another extreme to this.
It starts when you dont know that you have fears and mistrust. You just live how you have always lived
Then the door opens a little bit….
You can feel the anxiety and panic, but dont know where it is coming from.
Then you see a little more…
The fear and panic is coming from inside you.
You look a little harder..
You realize that inside, you fear everything and everyone.
Then it dawns on you.
That you have always lived your life that way. It is so normal, that you didnt even see it.
So, while some can talk about not being able to do something out of fear, or not trusting someone. That is actually a step forward.
Some people are still at the point that, they dont even feel worthy of giving in to their fears or mistrust.
So they still have the panic, terror and all those other things. But they keep doing everything, pretending everything is okay.
One day they may be able to look the fear in the eye, accept it, feel it, work with it, not pretend and then move forward.
Juliewtf,
Good points! Living as a abused child would have made it very natural for life to experienced with ongoing and constant fear, anxiety, and panic. It really would have felt as natural and as normal as anything else. Daring to find out what safety is would be a big step. It isn’t all that unusual for survivors to be surprised at how different safe relationships, and safe environments feel in comparison.
Well said.
Kathy
Kathy, This is my first comment on your blog. I want you to know that I appreciate the time you give to educate the public about dissociative disorders and childhood trauma. I have learned a lot. Thank you.
How have feelings of fear and mistrust been difficult for you?
Feelings of fear and mistrust prevent me from relaxing in relationships because I never am convinced that I am safe. I have more fear of a failure to be appropriate in every situation than I have fear of committing a sin. I can trust God to forgive my sin but I can’t allow myself the grace to appear inappropriate.
What do you do when your fear overwhelms you?
When fear overwhelms me I usually cry. However, when it grips me at night, usually associated with a fear of some form of betrayal by a friend or my therapist, I am filled with intense and sometimes dangerous fury.
What do you do to build trusting relationships with other people?
I enjoy being with people but am not yet successful at building relationships with a depth of trust. I keep trying and waiting patiently for one to develop. It is difficult.
What have you done that was successful at helping to eliminate or remove these negative effects of childhood sexual abuse from your life?
The most I know to do is to keep trying to tell the details of the abuse I suffered so that the lies which accompanied them are exposed and the memories lose their power over me.
I am curious to know if you have a blog post about body memories?
hi 4dulcinea,
Welcome to Discussing Dissociation, and thank you for your very kind comments. I’m glad you are finding this blog helpful. 🙂 Thanks!
And doing a blog post about body memories is a very good idea. We have recently been discussing body memories in SurvivorForum, but I don’t think it’s been a topic here. I’ll add that to the list. 🙂
Kathy
wow , see myself in so many listed in that. Its good to know I am not the only one that finds malls extremly overwhelming and stressful, and I am so exhausted if I do go to one which I will only do if I have absolutely no other choice. I always thought I was weird when it came to malls.
The other thing that struck me was about prefer animals, I am like that, definately trust them more than people, but the other thing, is animals seem to really like me too and I seem to have a way with difficult animals, I wonder what animals can sense from us, I know my own dogs can tell re switching, and read my mood bang on. With nature, I go hiking alot with dogs and try to go somewhere remote. I love it and feel at peace and to be honest the only time I can be truly present in the moment apart from being with my kids
. What worries me though is apart from my two kids, who I live for, I really dont care for another human being, this sounds so cold and shallow I know , I mean I do have some friends I like, but I hold back, and never allow myself or them to get close I guess, so if they moved or went away it really wouldnt make a difference in my life, and that is horrible that I am that cold of a person that I am incapable of caring for another person other than my children. I understand why I am like that I guess, but can’t ever imagine that I could be any other way and if I could, do I actually want to be.
Re school, we went back to university 3 years ago, and its worked out ok, we have done well although in the beginning some inconsistencies with grades, due to the parts attending struggling and adjusting to the demands and lack of confidence. Now though with only one year to go, things are going smoothly and confidence is no longer an issue most of the time.
I also have to admit, that I am constantly waiting for the bomb to drop, always, and constantly planning what I will do if it does.
rdrunner,
Actually, I don’t think your experience of being able to connect more deeply with animals than to other people is such an odd thing. I don’t think it makes you a cold or shallow or horrible person to have difficulty connecting with other people. I think it is probably an after-effect of your trauma (just guessing, because I actually don’t know what your trauma has been), but when people are hurt by enough people, it sometimes becomes quite a natural thing to learn to stay distant from people. I am very glad to hear that you can connect with your children, because that says a lot about who you are.
And you are soooo right about animals being able to detect switching!! Isn’t that amazing how perceptive they are?! I have seen this demonstrated over and over again. And it really speaks volumes about how very very distinct the different personalities are. I mean, if even the dogs and cats can see you’re switching, how can you deny that?! 🙂
Thanks for your post,
Kathy
How have feelings of fear and mistrust been difficult for you?
I don’t do surveys – much much too revealing
What do you do when your fear overwhelms you?
I usually have an all out screaming up the wall panic attack – sometimes, I curl up in a heap an cry – I hide – sometimes in the bathroom at work, sometimes in my bed or closet – if I can get enough sense about me, I call my T – all this if I cannot stop it by just focusing on breathing.
What do you do to build trusting relationships with other people?
Know what? Everybody I meet tells everybody else they think I’m a wonderful person and they tell me it, too, but I don’t know that I trust anyone. I want to, and just when I think I might, possibly, could, sort of, in a way, trust – I implode and it all vaporizes. I don’t do anything in particular to rebuild trust, it scares the H#(( out of me.
What have you done that was successful at helping to eliminate or remove these negative effects of childhood sexual abuse from your life?
I haven’t been successful. Or – I just don’t understand the question. I don’t know how to get rid of it all. I keep trying, and my T says I’ve come a long way; however, when you’re drowning and come up for air only to find it raining a down pour, it’s still hard to catch a breath.
Ivory
Ivory,
I hear your pain…. and your fear, and your sense of humor too. 🙂 I wish it was easier for you, I really do.
It is such a long long journey to recovery, and healing, and health… Severe trauma just affects so many many many areas of a survivor’s life that it is hard to catch up with all the damage that gets done.
I am sure your t is right — there is no doubt that you are healing and making huge progress, so in that sense, you are gradually eliminating and removing or at least addressing the negative effects, just a little piece at a time. Keep up your hard work, and one of these days, I’m sure, you’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come.
You’re getting there…
Kathy