Are there any benefits to being multiple?
In the typical process of trauma therapy, your therapist and the dissociative trauma survivor will spend a great deal of time talking about how difficult it is to be multiple — and it is difficult, no doubt about it.
For the typical multiple, there were years and years of pain and horror and abuse requiring the need to split over and over into a number of different personalities just to survive the unthinkable.
But the point of this blog is to talk about what an outsider / singleton sees as the benefits of being multiple and having Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID/MPD).
Yes, there really are some advantages to being split!
I see the following benefits in multiplicity:
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Being able to do more than one thing at the same time.
Talk about having the ability to multi-task! I’ve known situations were one personality can be talking comfortably on the phone while another personality is busy doing the day’s work. How cool is that?!
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Always having some to talk to.
When you are friends with each other on the inside, you don’t ever have to be alone. Your best friends can be right there with you, any time of the day or night.
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Being able to maintain the joy of a child’s perspective.
Children can be so innocently full of wonderment, and joy, and happiness. They know how to be carefree and happy and amazed at the simplest of life’s pleasures. Child parts, once safe from trauma, can keep that sense of joy near to them their whole lives long.
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Being able to take a break even when the outside body has to keep going.
When you’re split, you can tuck back inside, and rest, or sleep, or think, and let someone else be out front managing whatever is going on in life. Having that ability to pull away and separate from the outside life can come in handy sometimes!
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Having the ability to remember so much more of life’s experiences.
In my opinion, once a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder finds safety, and learns to connect with all their internal people, and lowers their dissociative walls, it seems to me that people with DID actually remember more of their life than “regular” singletons do. This includes remembering more of the good times as well as the bad.
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Having the ability to understand life and events from a variety of different perspectives.
Those with DID don’t have to imagine what it would be like from a different perspective – they often have someone inside that already genuinely sees things that way!
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Blocking out pain.
While blocking pain is not always a positive or helpful skill, there are times and places where having the ability to block out pain, both physically and mentally, can be a great benefit.
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Quite possibly needing less sleep?
I can’t prove this, but it seems to me that a significant number of folks with DID can function quite effectively on less sleep than what the average singleton person needs. Maybe this is because the various parts can rest and sleep internally? By taking turns resting inside, does that make the overall physical need to sleep less? I have no real answers for this, but it’s not uncommon for this to appear to be the case.
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Looking younger.
Again, I cannot prove this, but in my years of working with multiples, folks with DID look considerably younger even as they physically age. One would think that the years of trauma, abuse, and stress would have a negative effect on the physical appearance, and while there are obvious scars, there also seems to be a common ability to not age physically as quickly as singletons do. You all nearly always look younger than you actually are. How cool is that?!
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The ability to fit in with a variety of different people.
While some system splits were formed as trauma-based ways of matching with various groups of people (and some not so good as others), the positive flip-side of that ability is that people with multiple personalities can literally find themselves fitting in easily with a wide variety of people in a variety of ages.
Sometimes I wish I could do some of those things too!
The point being, despite the difficult beginnings required in splitting into multiple personalities, there are many good and positive attributes to being multiple.
Your Dissoci-ACTION Questions:
- What do you enjoy about your multiplicity?
- What strengths do you have?
- How has multiplicity enhanced your life?
- What qualities of being a multiple would you want to keep, and never lose?
Your thoughts and comments are welcome, of course.
Warmly,
Kathy
To learn more about Dissociative Identity Disorder, watch my videos:
Copyright © 2008-2023 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
I also really like that I have so many skill sets I can draw on, different sets in my different parts. I just have to work alone, and then I can accomplish far more than the average person. Interrupted, though, I know I don’t do so well, or at least I can get very slow and have a hard time retrieving information that might be stored in another part of me. So I work alone, and win awards!
Everything you say is true…including the piece about aging more slowly–some of that seems to be related to physiological changes when younger alternates are out. I sent a recent photo of myself to a friend of many decades and he wrote back that I looked the same as I did forty years ago. For me the worst aspect of being a trauma survivor is the damned replication. It seems that I am constantly “discovering” that I have attached to yet another emotionally incestuous narcissistic woman. The good news is that I’ve learned how to see it and say no. Thanks to my blog and to my artwork I’ve gotten to know some of my alters, and I have learned to like their different talents and abilities, including the female. I don’t recommend Second Life to people with DID. My experiences is that singletons who use ‘role play’ can’t comprehend someone with DID and that leaves is vulnerable to exploitation, but I do have alternates that experience the avatars as a kind of body and we have agreed that they can use SL if they completely avoid the other members. I have an alternate who builds computers and we use them to
stage and illustrate the fiction and poems that we post to our blog…
I don’t think I’m ever going to integrate; but I will say that I am better after five years of therapy, not problem free, but not beaten…and that’s a good thing.
Interesting because my body is in my mid-thirties but people routinely mistake me as 10 or more years younger. Some even think late-teens/early twenties which we see as a stretch at this point.
The “famous” Sibyl’s therapist, Dr. Wilbur, I think was the first to suggest that multiples usually look substantially younger than their age – it was the first idea that began my healing. I don’t always like that, but it makes people laugh when I respond, “My inner children are alive and well.”
I like bucuz we got a big werld in side
I wish out side pepl cud see it
I like jadie
I like blue
I like wendy
I like rachel
I like mae
I like tuck
From mindy
I am struggling with this post. I am worried you have posted it because you believe we can never achieve integration, so you are suggesting we learn to like our multiplicity because it isn’t going anywhere. Trying not to get too worked up about that line of thinking.
My initial response is to say only a singleton would suggest that it is good to be a multiple. That is my angry response about being multiple.
If I am completely honest, I could say I enjoy being able to be different people in different situations. It comes in very handy to be able to do this. When I am at my highest level of functioning, it can sometimes be fun to discuss different opinions and perspectives about things we experience in the world. But, for all the positive things I can think of, I would still not want this life, and that is not to say anything bad about my other parts. My life is hard. It is costly to keep it going (meaning all the therapy I need just to keep us running), it is chaotic.
I have been around the DID therapy world and have met lots and lots of multiples through my years, and I find there are two types:
1. people who enjoy their multiplicity and do not want to integrate (their right, of course)
2. those that really do want to function as more complete people who are integrated, or at least fused or something like that.
I have seen the people who enjoy their multiplicity, but that is not me. I do not go to therapy and psych hospitals because I have an enjoyable disorder. It is a challenge every day to not lose my spouse, kids, job, and life because of DID.
I just don’t see how anyone who has DID can truly think this is a great way to live. Losing time. Sharing the body. Conflicting desires. Not knowing who you are. Having other parts influence you in a way you do not want. I truly could go on and on, but I’ll stop.
Yes, there are some positive aspects of being DID, but since the negatives are big ones for me, I don’t see focusing on the benefits as if this is a good thing. Maybe to an outsider, but not to me.
Unless we are wasting our time trying to get better and we just need to accept our state of affairs… you should just tell us if that is what you think.
kk
Hi kk,
I hear you — and no, this post isn’t a sideways comment about integration, not at all. I’ve written several lists about my thoughts on integration. You’ll find some of them here:
http://discussingdissociation.com/category/integration-yes-or-no/
I very much understand the difficulties about being multiple. I do. It is NOT way, and yes, it’s very painful too. Some days, I try to look for those small bright spots. 🙂
Each blog I write is just a tiny piece of the puzzle of a very complicated topic. No blog represents all of what I think. I can’t write that well !! 🙂
Keep up your healing work. As your insiders build the team approach, some of those hard spots will soften. You can do it, and I know it can get better for you and yours.
Warmly,
Kathy
The thing i like the most probably is that the inside kids, especially Blue and her little friends, are so amazed by so many things and have that childhood wonder. so much stuff is still so new to them. They love to learn- about almost anything. They are fascinated by so many things. They can spend an hour just looking at a tree or at grass or watching a caterpillar eat a leaf. They still believe in Santa, so Christmas is a lot of fun and they still leave cookies out and get amazed by whats in their stocking. they love reading childrens books. Things like that. I get a kick out of watching them enjoy themselves.
Reblogged this on Discussing Dissociation and commented:
What do you enjoy about your multiplicity?
What strengths do you have?
How has multiplicity enhanced your life?
What qualities of being a multiple would you want to keep, and never lose?
We are never, ever bored. Someone can always think of something to do. The only issue is finding the energy to do it.
We relate really well to our young students and have no problem talking about all their latest favorite movies, cartoons, and tv shows.
More than likely this will be ignored and deleted, but it will be the last!! The pin of light in the black hole of my existence has gone out!! I have quit therapy, quit with the medical doctors, no more games! Apparently I am not worth anything & no matter how many times I get back up, the next thing is just waiting to take me down, so down I will stay as it is time to resign! I can talk and write but it goes no where! There is no “getting better” or “healing”! There are just evil people who thrive on cutting a person down. And those who don’t, well we are not allowed into their world. They like their safety and content and would never allow a “thing” like me in because it may upset their world so they do “God Points” like making a clothing or money donation. Than these professionals cannot understand the statistics of why people go back to the bad people! Well people need people and if only the bad people let you in, what the hell do you expect????
Over and out for good!
It is too funny that I happen to come across this today! Other than #2 & #5 all the rest fit perfectly for me.
I do have a question for you today Kathy – Apparently there are “babies” that I guess are starting to surface within me and despite my logic & my T expressing this is a huge step in progress, I am truly feeling agitated and hateful like I have never experienced before! All I can seem to think is these particular parts need to be destroyed permanently. I have been moving forward in a very smooth fashion and this is almost like starting all over (like when it all was discovered with me & my T). I have all the same confusion in my head (spinning), disorientation and even knowing where I have been through this journey I do not understand why all this seems like it did a very, very long time ago? Again, my logic and knowledge of this is very up to date and I know what I am supposed to do as I have done in the past but for whatever reasons all I can muster up is to “DESTROY”, reject my T and go off and die once and for all!
What are you thoughts on this and how have you directed your patients who may have gone through this in their trauma treatment?
PS – another note which of course adds to the “dying” thing is that having now a Motor Neuron Disease and my time is already limited and combined with what I feel like is starting over in a sense with these “new baby” things, well it just adds to my fire all around! I know I should be reaching out to them but just the word “baby” in any reference to me just blows my insides up totally!
I am not reacting to anything at this point but I am finding that I want to get away from my T NOW & never go back. I have started talking to T about this but I thought I would also like another’s perspective on this issue since you have spent so many years working with trauma victims and seem to be able to word things in a way that most can understand. Not that my T can’t do this but emotions are also tied into them which complicates things overall!
Thanks,
Betty
We wuvs bein multiple!!!!!!!!!!! 😀 Most of us anyway… 😀
lol, yay for you, bunches of family 🙂
Being happy with who you are, and how you are is a very good thing!
Your comment makes me smile. Thanks! 🙂
Kathy
Haha – That’s so good! You made my day bunches of family!
Me thinks it’s wonderful to be the ”wide eyed little one inside.” Me likes bein little when she has to be big & brave – me doesn’t have to do that at all. We let her work & we color or play. She would never color or play. Now we can forever if me wants to. 🙂 Also on the other side of our head – I can get along with everyone! It’s so cool – everyone loves me & everyone tells me things about their life because they feel comfortable in my presence. That’s cool. It’s not just one of us – they are talking to ‘all’ of us & they just don’t know it. 🙂 Me thinks that’s quite funny & very useful! We is a professional too – part of me, that is. 🙂 ha See how me thinks … it’s fun! But me knows it took a long time of hard workin to get here. Me thinks it’s great now. Thank You for asking the question KB. Thas what ‘me thinks’. 🙂
Hi Me Thinks, and hi to everyone,
Welcome to the Discussing Dissociation blog — it’s good to hear from you. 🙂
I look forward to hearing a whole lot more about what me thinks 🙂 . It sounds like you have done a lot of healing work, and that’s very good. You are right – it does take a whole lot of work. It’s not easy, but you sound happy, and clearly, you’ve made a whole lot of progress in your life. Congrats about that, and thank you for sharing some of the good things about being multiple. 🙂
I wish you the best in your continued healing….
Warmly,
Kathy
Thk U kb. Me thinks you nice. Me likes to hear you. Me has 2 problems. Me does not like her name on the post. What to do? me just does not know. and another problm. me is hiding cause her mother did die. we are there at that house now but me is hiding – coloring lots & coloring very very fast. me even broked a crayon. other lil me’s are with me. we bein safe inside. me is not comfortable with some ob her feelins me thinks. me thinks we glad we can hide. me thinks we not her at all these days. me thinks we glad you writed again. me thinks me thank you.
Hi Me thinks —
I was able to edit out your name — it went in there automatically from however you were signed into wordpress, but I could change it so it’s good that you mentioned that. If you would prefer a different name than the one I picked for you, just let me know.
I am sorry to hear about the passing of your mother. I can only imagine all the tangled and complicated feelings that you all would be feeling right about now. Give yourselves plenty of time and space to work on this stuff … it won’t be easy… it will be different for everyone, in all kinds of ways. Coloring and hiding sound like good ideas while you are trying to figure it all out.
I’ll be thinking of you –
Warmly,
Kathy
Hi Kathy-
Just a QUICK comment since its not my day or time to be here (we have the day off)– but one thing I can think of that has been a benefit is that it has helped me be a better teacher, on 2 counts:
1) With multiple points of view on nearly any subject in the world to do having everyone inside, it’s been beneficial in dealing with parents, who come from many backgrounds and have many varied opinions/ ways of being/ ways of thinking. It has helped a great deal at parent conferences, especially. If I didn’t know how to handle a parent, surely Missy did. If Missy didn’t, then surely Caden or I or Michelle or… SOMEBODY could think of something. We were often a popular teacher, and popular with parents that other teachers could not win over.
2) Having so many inside children has helped us bond with the many troubled and disabled children in our classes.. We can still remember quite well what it’s like to be a child, we can see a child’s point of view, we can talk like a child if necessary, and that has drawn many children to us. Especially with working with emotionally disturbed children, or autistic children, or many others, when other teachers couldn’t/wouldn’t deal with them, we usually had a good amount of success with them. But I couldn’t take the credit myself:it was often because of Mae or Tuck or having the knowledge of one of the other inside kids.
Okay, guess that wasn’t as “quick” of a note as I thought it’d be… I’m rambling, its not my day to be here!
Caroline 🙂
I got to those post late, as usual. I wish I remembered to check in much more often. My skitzy memory is one part of being multiple that bites me in the bum a lot of times.
When I read your post on positives I was dissapointed at first. The only one I identify with is the looking much younger deal and that is genetic too (my dad is that way). I’m well enough that I didn’t let my mood tank and obsess on how bad it was that we don’t have all those cool things in our life. Through all the trauma we lost hope and we’ve struggled with negativity to a huge degree. Add to that some of the rejections we’ve had since we were diagnosed with DID and for years we HATED being DID and war raged in our many systems.
Our systems all work in the dark and we have never gotten to do cool stuff on the inside. Life was a dreary struggle to survive. What a drag! We married someone we only just lately admitted was emotionally abusing us – after ONLY 29 years…
So, being Little Mary Sunshine is not something we can relate to easily.
However, we have learned to be very grateful to ALL of the insiders, no matter what their contribution to survival was. For every alt programmed to suicide – and there were many, somehow we also developed alts to block suicide or seek help.
I would sincerely LOVE to become aware of more positive things about being multiple. I want to be forward thinking and not simply stuck in the pain of my past. I do believe that more and more good will become apparent to us as we continue to heal. So, for now I’m positive that I can become more positive. Coming from such a dreary family and background that desire is really encouraging to me.
You can still get toys for Christmas, even when you’re technically 37 years old.
Thats a really great thing.
(We keep asking for a chemistry set, but mom,sister,and husband ALL say NO because they don’t want us to explode anything. Not fair. It would be so fun.)
We aren’t boring like some grown ups. We have fun even by ourselves since we’re alone a lot.
We’re easily amused. Like by a flower or by the sun shining on the grass or by sparkly things.
Cuz I got others, I NEVER ever ever ever am bored.
HA!
HI Kathy,
I am newly diagnoses,probably a little over a year. Being middle aged when I found out about being a multiple, kind of gives me an appreciation for the positive side of it. YES, it can be extremely difficult at times. But all the times I thought I was unique, through the years, turns out it was being multiple that made them unique. So does finding a definition for it, change the positive aspect of it? I dont think so.
The ability to multi task, to an all new level. To be able to fit into just about any situation. The ability to get along with just about anybody. To have so many interests, that choosing one, would be impossible. To find a way to achieve anything we set out to do. The ability to think you dont know how to do something, to only find yourself doing it. To be able to see so many different sides to one thing. The ability to carry on a conversation with all my outside kids, my inside kids, work on the computer and talk on the phone, all at the same time. To be able to go to therapy, pour your heart out, then walk out in the “real” world and function as if nothing has happened. The ability to read more then one book at a time. The ability to love, hate and fear, all at the same time.
All these things also have a negative side to them. but we spend so much time being in the negative, it is nice to step aside and appreciate all the gifts we do have.
I enjoy your blog, a lot. It helps me in so many ways, It helps me feel less like an alien. I always thought I was cool because I had abilities other people didnt. But when I got diagnosed, it made me feel alien. Like all those things I liked about myself, were there because of some mental illness. In this last year, I have learned to TRY and appreciate those things, for what they are. Your blog helps that. Thank you Kathy.
Hi Juliewtf,
Thanks so much for your comment. It’s nice to hear from you.
Having a dissociative disorder definitely does NOT make someone an alien, and I’m glad to hear that this blog has been helpful for you to see that. Since you are new to the treatment of your multiplicity, you are in for a few surprises, I’m sure, but don’t be afraid. Keep at it! And the more you get to know your individual people, the more you’ll know who has all those interesting unique talents that you have!
Thanks for posting — 🙂
Kathy
Kathy,
Thank you for talking to me even (or especially) when it seems the two of us can only agree to disagree. It really does give a balance – so you see I like your term – to disagreening that we are able to at least agree on disagreement 🙂
We seem to disagree on what level the balance should be achieved, you say it can be on the “collective” level i.e. across all your posts, and I think it should be achieved at the “individual” level, i.e. within each post.
Maybe because it reminds me of my goal to first try and achieve the balance *within* each of my alters “individually” before trying to spill the balance across all of me as a whole person (across all alters “collectively”).
I think it would make the integration much more smooth that way, because each of them would already have a balance within… What do you think?
Re: “But on this one day, I decided to focus on the positive, and only the positive. Actually, I made this post because I had a sense that too many of the posts prior to that time were heavy-laden, sad, depressing, frustrating.”
Kathy,
I can appreciate the good intentions you started with when deciding to publish the “all positive post”. Having said that, however, I still don’t buy the final product that came out from the factory, despite my appreciating the good intentions that “engineering department” had when making a blue-print. Let me clarify what I mean.
I mean it’s a mistake to try and compensate for previous posts’ presumably all-negative spin by creating one post that would be all-positive. Why it is a mistake to do so?
Well, because it is similarly to creating another – like me 🙂 – all-positive alter in order to compensate for the rest of person’s alters’ worthlessness (imposed upon the person by the abusers in the process of victimization).
The same way my perceived high worth should be integrated (like in the osmosis, distributed among the rest of alters, as well) into the whole person, the positiveness of your all-positive post should be shared by the rest of your posts, and vice versa – their negativeness should be shared with this one post. Otherwise your blog that offers healing from the dissociation ironically suffers from dissociation itself, as well.
hi Sam,
I think of it as a matter of balance.
Not compensating, that puts a “negative slant” onto my positive point! 😀
Balance.
Because there ARE some things that can be considered positive about multiplicity. Yes, there are negative results about multiplicity, and those things are well-expanded upon in this blog. (And/or will continue to be so, because I won’t refer to this blog as a finished product — I’ve got on-going plans to continue on with the blogging! I really don’t think I’m done with this yet, lol…)
The truth is that there are both positives and negatives to being multiple.
Both exist.
I have no doubt that many multiples could easily easily tell me the down-side of being multiple.
But how many multiples can tell me the positives they feel about it??
As we can see in the comments on these topics, it’s clearly a very hard thing for DID survivors to sort through, or to grasp, or to experience, or to recognize, or to accept … ??? I think a lot of that difficulty is because a lot of folks tangle the negative effects of being severely abused in as one and the same as multiplicity.
My challenge to everyone is to remember to separate out the effects of the trauma and to distinguish those very very clearly from the multiplicity. As a sweeping kind of statement, I can say that I don’t think there are too many positive effects caused by such severe trauma….
Multiplicity is not one and the same as the trauma.
And I promise you, I’ve talked with a whole variety of multiples who have come to enjoy and cherish their multiplicity while they still very much were not happy about the trauma, they can see that the being multiple in itself (with cohesion, communication, and team work in place!) doesn’t have to be so negative.
Balance.
And acceptance even.
And feeling some self-appreciation.
And maybe even some self-worth.
???!
Wouldn’t that be a good thing.
Kathy
About the 10 benefits of being a multiple. Just the question tells me you are not multiple. “Singletons” (as you put them) think in a linear manner, not in multiple dimensions, that is why you might think there is something good about being multiple.
So, let me put this out there: Yes, I have DID. No, I don’t like it, my life is very disjointed because of it. I’ve lost everything, my marriage, my family, my friends. But, on that note, if the greater of society was accepting of Multiples, I might not have lost everything. People cannot imagine what our life is like – on the inside – you only see the outside. The inside is a blinking strobe of conflicting confusion, thoughts, desires, and fear; there’s nothing exciting about that.
However, if there is a single sliver of silver lining, it would be that I have found others like me. For years, I have been terrified to seek out all of you. I am so glad you are here.
To the reader who said multiples are more creative than most people. Yes, we are, that’s how we got here in the first place – creativity is not a perk of being a multiple. Multiplicity is the result of being creative…
Ivory
Hi Ivory,
Welcome to the Discussing Dissociation blog. Thanks for your comment.
And thanks to everyone that has been posting on this blog — your comments have all been very interesting! This thread has been particularly good – thanks for that!
No, I’m not multiple. But I assure you, I am not a stranger to multiplicity. I am a trauma therapist that has worked with multiples for the past 20+ years. I’ve met more multiples than I can count and I’ve spent hours and hours and hours each week (and hours and hours most days) with multiples. My questions are often “food for thought” – not so much for me personally, but to give the readers here something to think about. That’s my long-term role as a group therapist sneaking out, lol.
I was introduced to the term “singleton” from a multiple. To me, it’s a light-hearted way to distinguish the difference between a multiple and non-multiple when necessary.
My personal opinion is that the cause of multiplicity was / is absolutely abhorable. And I think the trauma, and the aftereffects of the trauma do a tremendous amount of damage for years and years of time. I think there is a very big difference between how the trauma has negatively impacted a person’s life vs. how the multiplicity has negatively impacted a person’s life. I have seen some very happy multiples, but not so much happiness with those that are struggling with the pain of trauma.
I certainly can agree with the fact that there are some very painful times connected with multiplicity. Early years in the therapy process have proven that. But there is hope – because as more healing occurs, the good stuff becomes more obvious…
I’ve known multiples to be very ok, comfortable, happy, and quite at peace in their life — especially once they have found more healing from the trauma and gained safety from any ongoing abuse. The positive sides of being multiple become more obvious as the effects of the trauma are resolved, addressed, and healed.
Kathy
I love being multiple. But being severely co-concious, it’s a totally different experience for me. I don’t lose time, I don’t have to deal with a lot of issues. I can control who fronts (most of the time).
I do have a lot of bleed over emotions from others in Asrai. I don’t feel like I’m others a fair shake of body time, but we’ve come to the understanding that this is the way our system is set up and others just aren’t going to get to front.
I’ve known about being multiple for about 9 years. I have no memories of the trauma that caused it. I’m fairly certain for various reasons that there was trauma.
I’m grateful for all the people inside me. Even if they don’t get acknowledged much outside me.
Hi Asrais,
Welcome to the blog – and thanks for your post.
It sounds like you have found an interesting way of being that works for you. Are the ones inside happy with the way things are? If it works for you all, then that’s great. Co-conciousness is great — I certainly encourage everyone to be as co-conscious as possible.
I wish the best for all of you –
Kathy
Hi Vague —
I found the missing comment — and I’ve included it above, as you can see.
Sometimes I wait to post a comment until I have the time to simultaneously post my response.
My comment to your post is to gently suggest that you not assume that this one blog article is the be-all and totality of my response to dissociation and what it is like for survivors. Blog posts are tiny dissected snippets of opinion, approximately 700- 1500 words at a time. I can promise you that not any one of my single blog posts encompasses all that I think about the topic of DID / feelings / emotions, etc. In fact, each blog represents its own unique thought from a sea of unique thoughts. Does that make sense? No one post is the totality of what I think – I can promise you that! I think we both know that the topics of dissociation and emotion are way too complicated to be summarized in one short blog post, that’s for darn sure!
While I do believe without a doubt that there are some positive aspects to multiplicity, I do not think for a second that there are not also reasons to be sad / frustrated / angry, etc. If you read back thru’ this blog, you’ll see bunches and bunches of references where I do very much understand that there are plenty of things to be sad / frustrated / angry about.
But on this one day, I decided to focus on the positive, and only the positive. Actually, I made this post because I had a sense that too many of the posts prior to that time were heavy-laden, sad, depressing, frustrating, etc. I simply chose to present a different perspective for this day, and as an optimistic person, I sometimes like a big dose of positive. 🙂
To say dissociation is ONLY positive is absurd, of course. I didn’t say that, and I wouldn’t, because it’s simply not true. But, in my opinion, to say dissociation is totally negative is also absurd. There is a balance in the middle.
If one post, out of 50 other posts reinforces your programming, then may I also encourage you to challenge that same programming by going back thru’ other articles in this blog and pointing out the many varied references to pain, frustration, anger, sadness, etc. It’s there. I promise you all those feelings are referenced in my articles bunches of times. You can easily disprove the programming in this situation. Don’t let it “win” when there are many blog references that would challenge what it is saying to you.
This is an example of where I’d say to you to be careful to not let your programming beat you, or to let it lead you into the automatic response. You might have expected a “denial / suppression” type response caused by me, “the professional”, but think deeper than the surface here. Look at the bigger picture — look beyond the immediate trigger. You’ll be able to find a variety of ways to disprove that said programming, even from this very blog.
Do your best to challenge that programming by looking past the expectations of said programming.
Programming is typically more wrong than right.
Find the evidence to fight it. It’s here, I promise.
Good luck on your healing journey,
Kathy
Hi Kathy
I’d like to ask you something technical, namely to add to the right side of your blog an additional link so we will be able to subscribe to comments, not only posts.
The more integrated 😉 box should look like something like this – click to see ….. and the link would be http….
Thanks
Hi Sam,
Thanks for the techno challenge, lol…. !!
I had to get a little help with that, but I think it should work now. Please let me know if it doesn’t. 🙂
I’m STILL working on BTC’s techno challenge for me, LOL. (…. I know, I know, it’s very sad… lol)…
Kathy
Hi David!
It’s Emmy again. I do think it’s great that you can appreciate what your inside people did for our survival. It’s good enough, if you ask me. I just want to say that I understand what you are saying. I agree with you that it’s not the DID stuff that make us who we are and being DID people doesn’t make us better persons than intact people. DID make life harder, that’s a fact. But in the darkest of times there are also light, but that doesn’t take the pain away or make things easy…
/Emmy Dragonheart’s family
I think maybe it helps to divide out what we are talking about. To me there are 3 seperate issues we all have to deal with:
1. The fact, in itself, of having others.
2. The trauma that caused our dissociation
3. The negative effects that both dissociation and trauma have on our lives.
I am happy about number one. I do actually love my people and we have learned ways to work together really well.
I hate number two. There is nothing good about having been hurt.
And number three is where we work. And it is also I think what people hate so much. I hate time loss, not my insiders. I hate flashbacks and triggers, not the people that hold the memories. I hate being scared and fragile all the time, not the fact that I am multiple. I have the power to work at my healing and make these negative affects less and less. Learning communication and cooperation and coconsciousness (the three C’s) has helped and is helping us immensely. The huge burden I used to feel is not as big now. Nothing abotu being multiple has changed. My response to it and my way of coping with it has.
I agree that is there is an undue negative regard for being DID, then it will be harmful. The negativity would make it difficult to heal. But wouldn’t the danger also be there if you were overly positive about the dissociation?
I’m not trying to say that we shouldn’t look for the positives in our respective lives, but why should these be tied to our diagnosis? I’d much rather look outside and see the beauty in the sunset – this is something that can be appreciated outside of myself. The beauty of the sunset is not reliant on me investing in a mental health disorder. This appreciation makes me one of a crowd, rather than someone who stands out.
Yes, some of us experience benefits associated with being DID and I don’t want to minimise that. But shouldn’t we be looking for positives no matter where they appear?
I know that this opinion comes from my not liking the dissociation, the chaos it can bring and what caused the dissociation to start with. It also comes from being in therapy for several years with a therapist who enjoyed the dissociation, rather than finding ways in order to assist us in healing. All of this adds up to me not wanting to solely be identified as my diagnosis.
I appreciate that the dissociation was used as a coping/survival mechanism, but we need to move forward and learn how to work with what we have – the good and the bad. I also know that the dissociation doesn’t come without it’s share of humorous moments – like our 37 yr old body sitting on a hospital bed telling the assessing resident psychiatrist that we were too young to drink (a chatty 9 year old was doing the assessment as we were all too tired).
Regards
M
Hi, Emmy —
Actually, you’ve just made my point for me, though I think perhaps I’m not stating it particularly well. I do appreciate the system for what it did for me. But I think that’s quite different than attributing positive things about myself to the fact that I’m DID. I’m not, for example, more creative because I’m DID. I’m a creative person who happens to have DID.
What bothers me is the tendency to attribute positives to DID that really have nothing to do with the DID, but which are, rather, reflective of who the person is whether that person is whole or fragmented.
I’m grateful to the system for allowing me to survive … and, this is a complicated and difficult way to live, and I don’t enjoy it. I can’t quite wrap my brain around why those two statements are somehow mutually exclusive. 🙂
Hi David!
My name is Emmy. I have been diagnosed with DID for four years now. And I totally agree with you that beeing a DID person is a burden. I go to therapy because of the consequences of beeing abused and because all problems that beeing DID brings. It’s hard beeing DID, I don’t question that. But must it be the only feeling? I can see positive things, not allways but often enough, and that makes it easier for me to cope with everything. The way I look at it, is that all my inside parts are there for a reason and in my past this parts have helped me survive 32 years of abuse. I am proud of the good work that they did back then. Even though I am aware they also cause me huge problems sometime I try to remember that they helped me to survive. That helps me to look at them with new eyes, with gratitude. I know it’s hard living with DID and not own your own thoughts, feelings, time or life etc and that there are a lot of hard work to do when it comes to healing. I want to be honest about that, but beeing DID I think is so much more than only the bad things. It has two sides, I think. When I can appreciate an inside part for what they did for me in the past and allow him or her to do fun and good things now, things feels a lot easier. And it benefit to the inside co-operations, so in the end I have found it to be much more helpful to have a positive attitude to my inside parts. But I don’t deny that it’s a hard life to recover from abuse, heal and cope with DID issuies…
I don’t know if anything that I shared here make sense to you are not, I just wanted to share how I see things…
/Emmy for the Dragonheart’s
Kathy —
Is it not possible to be appreciative of the survival mechanism without putting unnecessary positive spin on it? I mean … if it was really a good thing to be this way, therapy wouldn’t be required.
I really don’t know how anyone could possibly *not* feel burdened by having to live as a multiple. And I guess I don’t know why feeling that way would affect the internal system communication or prognosis. We’re in therapy because we know there’s something wrong. We’re not in therapy because this way of living is working wonderfully well for us. It’s difficult for me to see why it’s not a good thing to be honest about that.
Okay, I”ll work on it Kathy . . I love love love that I love kids. The little me in me is alive and well and entranced by kids, everywhere. i just love watching them and seeing the joy on their faces and notice the cutest things about them and hurt when they hurt and do what I can wherever I am to say hi to them and be a safe nice smiling grownup no matter what. And nothing can bring me joy like seeing a child having joy or seeing parents that are really really good with their beautiful children. And so when I see that they are, I always say so; “Oh you are doing so beautifully with her; she is full of life.” or just anything to return the gift that child has been to me or to help parents struggling with their kids for one reason or another by trying to help in some manner. So I Love that: that I love and am sensitive to kids. I love that I can relate to kids and teens and grownups too, coz I am all of those. I love that I have a child part that isn’t afraid to be a goofball anymore after years of shyness. Okay, so I look young for my years. So did my mother and she was way parts too. So is it the genes or is the parts . . okay I”ll just be happy I look young for my years. Okay, I can be grateful that no matter the subconscious stuff that is going on as I awaken and find myself quite young quite often w hen I awaken for that matter, at least once I have some coffee a nd head to work the pain goes away for a long long while. I am another me of sorts and not so close to all the pain of the hurtingest parts of me. So I can escape the pain within and I never get stuck in depression for days and weeks anymore coz yuck, I can do something and access another part to get the heck out of it. I can choose to enter the pain to grieve and heal and grow and I can choose to go on with the other parts of life too, some of which are fun and exciting and challenging and beautifully worthwhile. I am more and more in charge of my emotions and don’t have to get triggered coz i have choices now that I know what’s going on in here and I don’t have to react like I used to. I can delay that pain for later if need be. Oh, and since I have some access to the feelings in all the parts that used to be so buried,, I can now take care of me lots better. Like right now I’m knowing holy moly I am tired and this is hard work and it’s almosts 1 in the morning and I have my T appointment tomorrow and have to be awake at 7:45 am and so eeesh . . the feelings came in that I was tired and the choice came in that I needed to take care of me. So now that I can actually feel feelings of tiredness I have a chance of saying hey, you’re tired. Feel that? And so now some grownup will take us all to bed. So okay, if you give me the assignment of what do I like about this I can start to tell you. Thanks Kathy, me
Hi Everyone,
I am still impressed by the number of interesting comments we’ve had on this topic. Thank you for your active participation.
Let me ask you this:
If you are feeling depressed, down-trodden, upset by, frustrated with, angry about, discouraged by the fact that you are multiple…
How is that going to affect your overall treatment prognosis?
How is that going to affect how the others in your system view you?
How is that going to affect your overall view of yourself and your self esteem?
How is that going to affect your internal communication and the way your system speaks with you?
What are you saying to yourself, about yourself?
hmmmm…. I think these thoughts are leading me into my next post…
More again soon –
Kathy
good thing about did? we is alive. much as that fact pains us at times. that’s all for now.
Vague
More excellent comments! Thank you, everyone, for writing and sharing your thoughts.
Hi Vague —
It’s nice to hear from you.
Yes, it is very good that you are alive.
I’m sorry to hear that life has been so hard for you… It does get tough some days, and I hope things get better soon for you.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
Kathy
I liked this post, and i understood exactly what you meant, that being a multiple isn’t necessarily a good thing but since I am one, what are some of the good things about it.
Some good things for me are:
1. I am never alone, i always have someone to talk to, someone to sing with me, or to just sit with me.
2. I work with children and they love me because they say im like “peter pan” in the way i don’t mind getting on their levels and playing with them, building forts and dancing silly, and playing make belief and dress up with them. My parts love to do those things, and so i get paid for letting my child parts, be children (don’t worry their is always a grown up ME there to supervise)
3. I am very creative and have really great art, and it comes from inside, really i get ideas and such from parts who tell me to do this or that, or add this color or that color. Every thing in my art is significant, i also write great poetry and other things.
of course there are tons of other things…..but thats just a few
I don’t love being a multiple and on any given day i will more than likely be disgruntle about it then looking for a silver lining, but i do appreciate my parts, and i appreciate all that they have done for me and gone through for me, and i realize that they are apart of me, and so i find the small joys in them too.
Thanks Kathy,
pieces,
Krissy
I like the idea of finding positive in the negative. It is a somewhat triggery idea (I think somewhere along the line somebody taught us a twisty version of that) but when I can look past the initial fear response, I like the idea.
Its kind of like when you have to go to the doctor. I have to remind myself that there is good stuff coming as a result of the pain- I will feel better (or be protected from disease, whatever) and I will get ice cream (my hubby’s special treat for us after scary things like that). Negative things bring positive things.
Have you reached a point in your life where you can appreciate, truly and genuinely appreciate your multiplicity??
Erm … no. Absolutely not. It’s a phenomenal, endless, ridiculously problematic pain in the pants. I appreciate it solely as a survival skill, but no, there’s no benefit whatsoever to my having fragmented ego states, unless I really want to go out on a limb and say hey, at least I’m never boring. But I don’t actually think I’d be any less interesting if I were integrated. I don’t think that the multiplicity is the interesting thing about me. If I did think that, I’d be a lot less likely to be in therapy.
While it is true that one of my fragmented ego states has some bizarre and rather amazing capacities (thanks, BTC), that’s not a function of its being a fragmented ego state. My mind has those unusual capacities, and thanks to being fragmented, I don’t have reliable or predictable access to those capacities. And it’s also true that this particular example has nothing to do with the kinds of benefits you listed above, which I’d kind of consider more … symptomatic side effects, rather than benefits per se.
The only real silver lining I’ve been able to see is that one of my alters is quite a remarkable person. But that’s a silver lining inside the massive cloud of not always having him participate in my life. So … yeah. Not so much a benefit.
Again, I might feel differently if any of the particular benefits listed applied to me, but … since I’ve looked 45 since I was 20, I have severe chronic fatigue, I’ve never been a social chameleon, I’m a short-tempered and rather joyless cynic, and the company of my insiders simply reminds me how difficult it is for me to relate to real people … well, I could go on but I won’t.
Castorgirl mentioned the oft-quoted stereotype that multiples are more creative than most people. Again … that’s not a benefit of being multiple, and I think it’s a great disservice to the whole person to say that it is. Multiplicity doesn’t cause creativity, or intelligence, or sensitivty, or anything. The core person is who he or she is, and multiplicity simply inhibits the person’s capacity to experience all skills and facets of the self. At least, that’s how it is for me, and for at least some other multiples I’ve come to know online.
@ David – I think we recently discovered you have super powers so.. erm.. you’re not going to get away with a statement like that. 😉
wow —
What a wide range of responses to this blog! Thanks everyone for commenting back — it’s very clear that individual perspectives on this topic are going to vary widely.
hmmmmm…. what if I ask it this way…. SINCE you are multiple (and again, this isn’t a question about why you were forced to become multiple), but since you are already multiple, and purposefully excluding the tragic and difficult things about multiplicity, are there any things that you can say that you genuinely enjoy about being multiple???
See — my thought is this. I’m really not presenting the idea that multiplicity is better or worse than being a singleton. I’m taking one state of being, purposefully excluding out all other ways of being (for purpose of the discussion), recognizing and accepting that multiplicity is a long-term state of being for myriads of people, and trying to focus on one specific point about being a person with multiple personalities: that there can be good things about being split.
For you, in your life as a multiple, are there things that you enjoy about being multiple?? Have you found any silver linings on the storm clouds? Have you been able to take life’s lemons and make lemonade in any way?
See, part of my concern is this.
Have you reached a point in your life where you can appreciate, truly and genuinely appreciate your multiplicity??
It’s not your fault that your multiple. It wasn’t your “choice” to have to split — it just is the way it was for whatever horrifying reasons that it was. I get that. And the fact that having dissociative identity disorder is full of pain, agony, complications, difficulties, etc. I get that. (Have you been reading my other blog posts or participated in my online support forum or read my website? I really do understand that there is enormous pain and horror that comes with the idea of being multiple and split.
And while I do very much understand that….
I also take the approach that finding the good in things is critical part of the healing process.
Because of “situation A”, whether it was a good-bad-horrible-horrendous-nasty-fearful situation or not, it took you down a certain path of life that led to other events, and other situations. See – I believe that good things can develop even after bad things happen. I don’t think that because something “bad happens” that the “badness” of the situation has to trump as the permanent, final result. In fact, in many ways, I think that finding the positives, becomes an important goal, to help one heal from any situation.
Can you think of a way that you have been able to turn the negative past into a positive for yourself?
Something to think about…
kathy
Oh, and David —
You have super powers???!!!!! Do tell!! 😀 😀
Kathy
I didn’t have an overall good reaction to it either for lots of reasons, even if the majority of the positives were true for me and even if I really value and enjoy a lot of those things. It was the idea that it took being multiple to have these things and I think many of them can be the product of healing regardless of if one is a multiple or not. I believe we are all wounded in some way, and often quite deeply, and that some kind of compartmentalization is normative for the human species because of how we are neurobiologically and otherwise made. The bell curve. Freud talked about the id, ego, and superego; Eric Berne talked about the Parent, Adult, Child. Just a few of the examples that I didn’t like: “blocking out pain” . . . hah . . that was one I never had the ability to do until I started healing and until I learned self-hypnosis. Then, finally, I could soothe some of my pain. Then was the end of turmoil at the dentist just getting a cleaning. Then was the end of years of episodic excruciating bouts of occipital neuralgia. Pain kindles itself; when one learns to relax totally and use the God-given ability of hypnosis to soothe the pain and relax, then the pain stops kindling itself. Another: fitting in with a variety of different people. Well, I think this can come both from healing and from love and acceptance of oneself and of other people. When one is safe in one’s skin, when one learns, through meeting the pain and “daemons” within, then I think it gets easier to love and fit in with anyone one chooses too, because one can always be looking for the good and the commonalities. Another: being able to maintain the joy of a child’s perspective. This is something that may be second nature for someone who for some reason has always had that child within, but again, healing and finding that childlike, trusting joy, is something I think we are all called to as human beings. Being open to the present moment, mindfulness, all kinds of spirituality urges us to look for the joy. Christ himself said one must become as a little child to enter the kingdom of Heaven . . it’s about having met up with love, with faith and with trust, and with knowing it’s okay to let down . . . so I just hurt to think that any “singleton” might be thinking of this as some difficult thing to attain . . I think it is a product of healing and that as we integrate we have more and more access to that joy we were meant to have access to all along. Another: Having the ability to understand life and events from a variety of different perspectives . . I think we are all called to that too. When one loves, when one is empathically attuned to another and listens and connects, then it really isn’t all that hard. If it is, it is fear, I think, and our own defense mechanisms, that keep us from wanting to understand and to “feel with” and to connect . . and sorry, but I cannot help but pull from my faith perspective, and I believe perfect love casts out all fear, and that it is in meeting one’s pain and in meeting others’ pain too, that it is possible to not to have to “imagine” it at all. And multiple or singleton, this world is full of pain and the need to go through the experience of it, instead of defending from it , so as to grieve and grow and change and heal. And if one takes the opportunities life inevitably places in our path to actually meet the pain and grief head on, then one grows in the ability to understand anyone. Another: “quite possibly needing less sleep.” . . . . my response to that is ick ick ick. Just coz we with parts might be able to fight off the exhaustion via dissociation and find a hypomanic or manic part for a while to keep on going, most of us suffer the results of this eventually in the form of more and more dissociation, an actual manic episode having been fed by lack of sleep, a depressive episode coz we have no more left within whatsoever and “crash,” or “simple” overwhelm that leads to more splitting and irritability, etc., etc., I know way too much about sleep disorders and I’ve studied sleep medicine and so I know the pain created by not working hard on self care so that a lack of sleep doesn’t create a worse mess somewhere down the road . . So I’ll just stop going on and on and say that I see the truth of the examples chosen and at the same time believe that we are all wounded in various ways and need healing and that quite often these things are and can be the product of that healing. And that if one has these “gifts” as a result of being split, then these gifts get transformed during the healing process in some way and integration doesn’t mean they will end. IT may mean they can be called upon only when necessary, or they can be enhanced and chosen and healthy as opposed to re-actively/dissociatively needed for survival. My several cents for what it’s worth and Blessings to all and to Kathy, with love healing one
It might be a touch of depression happening, but I don’t see any benefit either. Yes, I’m thankful that for some reason my mind went for a dissociative rather than a personality disorder. But when I look at the costs of the abuse and this disorder, it’s overwhelming. Physically, emotionally and financially the cost can not be quantified.
We’re stubborn and have a sense of humour, but this hopefully would have been present regardless of the abuse. The dissociation has preserved the humour, but why should I celebrate this? I am thankful for the various ways in which our humour is shown.
None of us are overly gifted in any way. We’re not artistic, and sometimes cringe when we see articles that talk about the generalisations regarding the artistic ability of those with dissociation. Through polyvore we’ve seen the amazing collages that survivors have created. This sort of expression is beyond us. We can do our own collages, but they look very different from other survivors work.
Everyone needs to look for the positives in their life – but this shouldn’t be tied to our disorder. We are not our disorder.
Sorry if I’m being too harsh, I’m glad that people do find the benefits in the disorder. I know that it could be looked at as if we were celebrating living or showing that we weren’t a victim. Maybe we’re just not in a place where we can do that at the moment.
I honestly can’t see any benefit whatsoever to being multiple, except that it prevented me from being something worse, such as someone with a personality disorder such as narcissism. None of the particular positives listed here apply to me, although perhaps after another God knows how long in therapy, some of them might.
OMG I am reading your blog on my new Amazon.com Kindle2! I have this bookmarked and even managed to log on to comment! Now I will be able to have your blog resources w me. WOW
Great positive much needed post here on +s So true and important to be pointed out and balance w so much.
Tyler,
Soem of our insiders whose job it is to make everything “perfect”- meaning deny the bad things, be super functional, give all appearances of being “normal” didn’t like this either. I think it made them feel like they weren’t needed. If its so ok to be multiple, why try to make it seem like we aren’t…
Just a thought, an avenue to explore
I like my litle ones. I like the feeling that they are reclaiming my childhood. They are now safe and protected from abuse and can today do all different kind of happy things and that make my happy. Today one of my litle ones went to a “pirate museum” dressed like a pirate girl, with one of my friends, that was a really fun thing for her to do. I am so happy when good things like that is possible for my litle ones to do…I feel letting my litle ones do fun things that my own unhappy childhood heals…/Emmy
For some reason, this really pissed me off! Maybe because it smacks of grass is greener or the bearded lady at the circus, I am not sure yet but my reaction is viseral and I would really like to think about this and respond more later.
Tyler
Hi KB
It’s always good to have the positives pointed out, they can get lost in the LONG journey to the present.
Note, I do not say health or better or fixed or whole.
We multiples often really just need to find the present and live in it to find the joys and sorrows of life. I’ve never really thought being multiple was the problem, it’s the damn past interfering with my life.
We have lots of those ‘super powers’ even at 55 we’ve still got more energy then most. I think our brains are hot wired all the time. EXTREME living is what I tell people.
That’s not to say there aren’t glitches now and again, but I wouldn’t really change multiple with communication, it’s the bomb! ; )
GOOD post, Thanks!
Ravin
Hi Kathy, this really made me smile.
I’m in the process of being convinced that this is all dysfunctional and I’m better off without it (ie being in therapy) and the whole DID thing is fairly miserable most of the time however.. it is useful being able to have different parts deal with different situations, accomplishing things that I would not be able to otherwise, be sensitive to the emotions of others (ok, its a threat-detection device but it still has its uses) and achieve things through multitasking that shouldn’t be physically or temporally possible.
As for ageing.. at work I’m considered to be 5 years old (because management is, funnily enough) and at home I’m sometimes considered to look like a teenager.. funny that.
Incidentally, I sent this to a friend and she pointed out that I have super-powers. I guess that’s what every Little wants, eh?
BTC.
well, we don’t need less sleep than others, we actually seem to need more. But that could be the fibromyalgia.
And we don’t look younger than we are, but then again we also haven’t seemed to change much since high school so maybe our real age will catch up with our appearance and then pass it and then this will be true for us…
The rest definitely apply. Another one I had, especially nice in these tough financial times, is that we can have whatever we want inside. If the littles see a toy on the shelf that they want but we can’t buy, they just make one inside, lol.
And along with being able to fit in with lots of people, we can also find someone who enjoys just about any situation we are placed in.
I also feel like we have a unique ability to be grateful for what we have and to accept the hard things in life. We know what true suffering is (both from living it and seeing it) and so nothin else looks so bad. We just don’t care so much (after the initial anxiety response) about little things going wrong. And we appreciate the small joys so much more. Being invited out fro breakfast yesterday, a simple thing for a singleton, brought us HOURS of joy and feelings of love and acceptance. How cool is that?
Dear Kathy,
Its so funny typing that, because i used to see a therapist named Kathy, and we used to journal back in fourth so i wrote “dear kathy” probably a zillion and two times. Thanks for commenting on my art, I do alot of art its soothing for me, more recently i am into making hand made books, i find the sewing in the pages very relaxing.
I do hate that my Mom is using the movie Sybil as a reference for DID, because i’ve been trying to explain to her that no two people with DID are the same. i think its really hard for her to get, i don’t blame her though, sometimes its hard for me to get too. i also don’t help the situation because i often leave her in the dark with my treatment. i have a trauma specialist 3 times a week. She is great and very patient with us, and very kind and understanding. i read your blog about how to be a good patient, and i am going to try to start doing all those things on the list, because your right all patients worry about finding a good therapist, but we never think about if we are being good patients. This is an amazing blog you have here, some of my DID friends actually pointed me this way. Its nice to have someone on our side for once, and with that statement i mean, how DID is so controversial and how some people don’t believe it exist even though its in the DSM. A lot of therapist and people in the helping profession don’t accept it, i think maybe thats why it took me forever to be diagnosed. And with the movies and books out like Sybil, and The Three Faces of Eve, and When Rabbit Howls, which all sort of overly dramatizes and sensualizes it all, its really hard. i appreciate just the facts.
i will try to get my mom to check out that site, she’s come to several of my therapy sessions, and when i’ve been inpatient they always have family sessions and things like that too. i was wondering if by any chance you will ever write about DID and the African American community, maybe its prevalence, and treatment levels. i’ve noticed in my journey for wellness i am often the only one, it usually doesn’t bother me, but sometimes i wonder. all my inpatient stays on trauma wards i am usually the only person of color (i’m biracial) and in DBT groups, and truama groups, and depression groups. what do you think of that? i find it very hard to get support from “my” community when it comes to psychological matters. not saying that my mom doesn’t support me because she is very supportive and has had her own demons with depression and such, but still there is a gap between us. i could possibly go on and on, and i should be trying to sleep.
thanks for responding,
always,
krystle.olivia^38
I had therapy today, and i was thinking..gosh darnnit i hate being a multiple. There just aren’t any benefits to it it seems. Then i read your list, and i realize all those things are so very true. I can function on little to know sleep. I’ve got some of the best art work EVER, and i have no idea where it comes from. I always have a hidden talent or skill, im never really alone. I always have someone to talk to. I am 23 but i look 15..its weird but for some reason i don’t seem to be physically aging though in exhausted all the time, and i feel old. I look like a kid..not saying 23 is ancient..i love your blog, and moved my blog here so that i could follow yours…Thanks for this..us multiples need info like this…and singletons too… My mom keeps watching Sybil to try to understand me…
Hi to thelittlestsurvivor —
Thanks for your post and your very kind comments – I appreciate that! I’m glad to see that my thoughts on the benefits of multiplicity were perfect timing for you! 🙂
You’ve added a good point too — the creative artistic expression that multiples have — (any kind of creative expression, any version of art). I don’t know where all that artistic ability comes from either, but typically it’s there. You have some really cool art on your site, by the way. I had to have a peek at that.
I am really glad to hear that this blog has been helpful for you. That’s excellent. I can see how watching Sybil might be somewhat helpful for your mom, but… that’s a bit limiting. If she’s genuinely trying to understand, (so she can be supportive of you???), maybe it would be helpful if she read more of this blog, or more of the information on http://www.AbuseConsultants.com, or maybe she could have a session (in person or even online) with a trained trauma specialist for some in-depth explanation.
Anyway — I’m very glad you found things here, and thanks again for your post. Keep going with all that cool art!!!
Kathy