Dissociative Identity Disorder is created from severe, chronic child abuse.
Does that abuse automatically stop in childhood?
Unfortunately, no, it does not.
All too many survivors continue to be trapped in abusive environments long after their childhood has ended. Sometimes this abuse continues with the same family-related perpetrators that abused the survivor all throughout the childhood years. For example, far too many adult children of creepy-fathers are still being sexually abused into adulthood.
Creepy-fathers (or creepy-mothers, or creepy-uncles, or creepy-neighbors…) don’t necessarily stop being sex offenders just because the children within their reach get older. These lifelong predators already know how to manipulate your dissociative system, and they will continue to “call out” and dominate the child parts that they controlled for all the years previous. The child parts don’t necessarily realize that they are in an adult body, or that years of time have passed, so it still feels like more of the same to them.
Typically, in situations such as these, the dissociative walls that separate those abused child parts and the adult host can still be locked solidly in place, allowing no seepage of information to pass through. The adult DID survivor may not have any conscious awareness that they are still being abused in this way.
Scary.
And sad.
But true, far too often.
Sometimes, the ongoing abuse is more organized than in-home family abuse. The sex slave industries can use, own, control, sell, and exploit dissociative survivors for many years. Sex trafficking is real. It does exist, and all too many dissociative systems are sold and “owned”, created and controlled within these vile networks.
Slavery didn’t end with the Civil War – it just became more hidden.
One of the current ways that slavery still exists — even now, today — is through the entrapment of the dissociative population.
Various prostitution / pornography organizations can “own” and exploit survivors by using physical violence, emotional blackmail, drugs, mind control techniques, and dissociation as means to maintain their power and control.
Extricating these dissociative prisoners from these organized predators is a complicated and complex process, but possible nonetheless.
This powerful image found at http://shaylinjanelle.tumblr.com/page/2 .
Adult trauma survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) have had years upon years of experience managing severe trauma while simultaneously blocking themselves off from the reality of that trauma.
Dissociative walls can provide an element of amnesia that both protects the person from the overwhelming crushing awareness of ongoing abuse, but also traps the survivor in an ongoing continuation of that abuse.
If dissociative survivors have current-day chunks of missing time blocked from their awareness, they cannot know what happened to them, but they also cannot remove themselves or protect themselves from the ongoing trauma and abuse.
Without effective therapy and treatment, they also cannot remember or control the fact that they could be handing over their children to be used in the same abusive ways by the very same perpetrator groups.
Unfortunately, we all know that the kiddie porn industry is alive and well.
Dissociative survivors that grew up being used and sold within the kiddie porn industry are at a higher risk of continuing to be owned by, and forced to work for that industry even as adults.
When DID survivors are involved in current day abuse, it is imperative to break down the amnesiac walls created through dissociative processes.
The survivors have to have the courage to look at what they are involved with, and then have even more courage to problem-solve their way out.
Dissociative survivors trapped in other kinds of family violence and domestic violence are vulnerable in these same ways.
Trauma therapists must be aware of these possibilities so they can actively work with the dissociative population in order to assist them to gain freedom from ongoing abuse. Therapy with a strong emphasis on increasing internal communication and lowering amnesiac barriers is essential.
Therapists need to use basic good trauma therapy while doing this work.
Listen closely to the inside parts, help sooth the pain, create both internal and external safety, reconnect the isolated parts with the rest of the system, address the concerns raised by those internal parts in all the normal ways, etc. Many of the very same processes that work to help heal “regular abuse” continue to be effective in addressing more extreme abuses.
*** To all dissociative survivors ***
You don’t have to stay stuck in the abuse cycles.
If you are able to read this post, you are able to do the work it takes to remove yourself from any ongoing abuse that you are tangled in.
Of course, your perpetrators won’t tell you that you can get out, but you can get out and away from them anyway. You are older, wiser, and stronger than you were when you were just a child. You can find ways that will work for you, you can find safe people to help you, and you can be safe.
Talk lots and lots to your inside people – it’s only as you work together as a team that you can beat the external controls. Be willing to listen to what your hidden or darker parts say to you. Listen to the pain you may feel in your body, and don’t dismiss any injuries you have. To help the insiders who are being hurt, you need to know how it is happening. Knocking down that d’amnesia will help you find ways out. Yes, it will be hard to hear their horrific stories, even brief statements, but it is imperative that you listen to them and consider their reality. If they are telling you they need help and feel harmed, there may be something more of substance to those feelings. Get some help to get out. There are people who believe you and will help you.
There ARE other options available to you. You don’t have to stay stuck in slavery. It takes a lot of hard work to find and address all the complications involved, but if you all really want to be free from abuse and safe from harm, you can be.
It can happen.
Make it so.
I wish you safety — lots and lots of SAFETY — in your healing journey.
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2026 Kathy Broady and Discussing Dissociation
Hi,
Thanks for your post it really helped. I’m in a dilemma as I’ve been seeking treatment at a psychiatric hospital for the last two years and seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist. They have helped so much with the dissociation and ptsd.
However the perpetrater of the abuse, that the introject is based on, was recently also at this hospital. I’ve gone no contact with this person for 10 years. They have tried to stalk / follow me, but invading the place where I go to escape them has really stuffed up my system.
I’m just feeling like a child again – like there’s no where to run.
Part of me feels really helpless, like it has to let the introject control everything , as they literally invaded where my treating professionals work.
It just feels like whatever I do this person is not going to leave me alone so I have to be submissive and do what they want. I’m not sure what to do….. do I stay at this hospital but potentially break the boundaries I’ve put in by effectively giving this person a place to have access to me (I have made it clear I want no relationship )or run away start afresh at a new hospital, and just hope that they don’t follow me there.
If we dont make it stop and we are teenagers that means we are old enough and then it has got to still be our fault Im thinking. Because we let it happen. Because we shrink and disappear and our mouths freeze shut and we get trapped inside and then people can still do whatever they want.
Hey MK, even teenagers don’t have all the resources needed to get out of those traps by themselves. And also, being a teenager means you are not a kid, I know, but… you are still young, and quite potentially still a minor, and maybe not even an adult yourself. AND… if you are teenager still trapped, that means there may have been years and years of stuff that happened before your teenage time frame, and all kinds of learning or training that happened with others in your system. LEAVING abusive relationships and getting out from under that control takes a lot of strength and determination. AND a lot of system communication and system cooperation.
Do your best to join forces with others inside who don’t continue to shrink and disappear. Hiding inside keeps you away from some level of the mess, it helps you hide internally, but that doesn’t remove the body from the abuse. SO…. work together with your system people. Find ways you can reach out to outside helper people who can help you to find ways to get more physical and emotional distance from those who hurt you.
No, it’s not your fault it is happening. But you will have to be super strong and fight your way out of their control. Most abusers don’t want to easily lose who they hurt, so… you will have to battle with as many inside people as you can.
Talk lots with your adult system members. Lots of times, you need the help of your older ones as well.
It’s a big job, but your safety is worth it.
We going there soon to there house
We gona try so hard to be good
And not do anything rong
And keep our selfs safe
So we can have a good trip
Hello Mindy! We just came back from a week at our Daddy-man’s house and we did OK! He actually praised the work we did there. We hope you stay OK, too and have a good trip!
MissyMing
11/06/20
So is this why I was still with out side Norman until he died? Please don’t tell me he. Got to my out side children because I had no control
Over what he was doing. This would break my heart. We have done nothing but try to protect them From the evils Of the world! I do not vent what to think of this has a possibility. This post his pulling. At me from every direction. Is this why he let me go to find another husband. So he could have access to more children
Kathy please say no that’s not how it happens a all!!!!!!
Hey Sissy, I don’t know all the details of your story, and my general statements aren’t meant to be taken as proven facts, but when you can, as you can, do your best to look more closely at the possibility of such a thing happening. You may very well have been able to protect your children… OR … depending on how your abusers knew to use your ability to dissociate and split, they may have hidden things from your view using purposefully created dissociative walls.
If in your situation, there is any element of generational abuse, look even closer. Since your heart is all about protecting your children, you will be able find out any information you need to know. Be willing to hear the information your insiders tell you, even if their experience is different from your experience. Listen to them. Let them show you pictures. Check with everyone inside, and especially, go find the insiders hiding in dark places, or in areas where you haven’t yet gone. If you have inside people not yet working with you, that is the place to start checking.
Keep fighting Sissy. Don’t let any information be hidden from your or from the leaders of your system.
Hi Lisa,
I just want to jump in here and support what MultipleMe has said. You are very brave to be talking about this subject here and sharing your story. Healthy boundaries are really tricky to establish that is for sure. I realized a few years ago that I did not have boundaries. It was just easier not to have boundaries then to have them violated. Not a good thing.
Establishing safe boundaries is a healthy process for any relationship but especially when you have insiders in the mix. Each insider can have a different take on what boundaries that they want to set so a bit of negotiation and explanation may be in order. Ultimately, boundaries make relationships (internally and in the outside world) stronger, safer and healthier for everyone involved.
ME+WE
11/03/18
sometimes its a different person but you let them do similar things and cross boundaries because you are confused, and it feels familiar. this is our situation. we are putting up boundaries now though. its tricky. especially when its not a clear violation and its not the same bad people. and the new person isn’t a bad person, and doesn’t exactly know or didn’t at first that it wasn’t the adult they thought they were talking to and being with at the outset. that happened in our adult time. this is the first time we are telling it. Lisa.
Lisa,
Wow, super brave of you to share here for the first time. I’m glad you’re learning to establish healthy boundaries. It’s not easy. But I’m learning we can re-train our brains and before you know it, it becomes easier and easier to do. And recognize the abusive behavior. It sounds like that’s where you’re at. Doesn’t make it any easier or less scary, so I hope you’re safe. If you want, feel free to let us know how it goes.
MultipleMe
10/31/18
Hi Lisa, oh my goodness, you are being very very brave. Reaching out and telling anyone about this for the very first time is a massively big step. That’s very good — there are people who can help. Not everyone in the world is a dark hurter-person. It sounds like you are in a very complicated situation — new people, on the outside, but confusion for people on the inside. Fuzzy violations, but something violating enough to trick your system, and not letting your usual adult person stay out front. All red flags, if you ask me! Putting up strong healthy boundaries is extremely important, especially against people who are doing something wrong, hurtful, or not okay.
It’s pretty normal for insiders to get pulled out (triggered out), especially in situations that feel all too familiar to the original bad people abuse. It confuses the insiders too — they may or may not know time has passed. They may or may not know new and safer information. By all means, keep talking with your insiders about the boundaries you are setting, and work with your front people to be sure to set those boundaries.
Your safety is very very important, and the more you and your people work together to create those safety boundaries the better. Keep talking with your outside support people too. Get some help from your therapist or a friend, etc. You may get some good ideas for how to help put those safety boundaries in place.
And Lisa, keep being brave and keep talking. You can work this situation out, and the best way to do that is to keep gaining more and more clarity about what is / isn’t happening.
Take gentle care.
I had a place where host was aiming for we called it rainbow land . As each inside person was at peace and went their way we said that they had made their way to safety in rainbow land
Find a safe place in the world…..run run run till no one can find you. Till your legs cant run till your eyes are wowed with the sites around you, till the few souls that are breathing air nearby are as brokenly openly depratly seeking peace to. Bunker down. Find all the self help healing mantras affirmations whatever it takes to create, form whatever we can from the ashes weve always been……come back. Be here for the first time. One day, reather by God, rescuing us or we collect each other and fight them all ourselves!!!! We will win. We will live.
Beautiful comment, Chelle, thank you.
It’s definitely important to encourage people to find safety. I like your idea of going to where your eyes are “Wow’d” by the sights… and going till you find souls that are seeking peace too. What a beautiful picture that creates. And those places, and those kind, gentle souls ARE out there. It’s good to remember there really is good…. and you’ll find it when you get further away from the bad / painful / horrible stuff.
Thank you for sharing — I like your willingness to inspire others…
I wish you beautiful peace and safety in your healing journey.
Warmly,
Kathy
That picsher of the girl punching the mirrir- thats how i feel
Feel like the just be to much in side my brain and my hart
And i got to hit my self in the mirrir in my face to get it out
Becuz i dont like it all stuck in my hart
It hurts my insides to much
It make me want to screm and yell and hurt my selff till i be all gone
Rachel
PILGRAM I read your message and it ressonates with me so much. Who CAN you really trust? In my life my abusers and synomous with the only ones really helpimg me and being there. Even if they are sick. I reack out for help and reach out and try to trust and keep getting abmadoned burned and betrayed and let down usually. So I have no answer for you but I can totally relate to you and the struggle. It friggen sucks. 🙁
What if these supposedly creepy people are the only fucking people on the planet that are actually trustworthy. What the hell do you do then??? What the fuck do you do when the “abusers” are the only people you can count on? What then? Cuz goddammit i sure as hell dont know. What if they turn out to be right all along.
There is always someone. As an abused child I connected with a lady who was an abused child like me. We connected through poetry designed to be therapeutic . I was asked to help her escape her abusive environment and a year later she had her diagnosis . 20 alters appeared to me and they ranged from a teething baby to young and old teens to adults. Social services and even CPN and her therapist created problems with their ignorance of DID INCLUDING THE CRISIS TEAM. After 3 yrs all but two of them had gone a male protector and a 2 yr old girl. This lady had been seeking abusers since she was 18 yrs old and her alters called her a sex toy. Through my own experiences I was able to help the alters I calling them family. Client / host wore glasses but alters did not . It was a constant battle to ensure host did not seek those who would hurt host but child alters told me everything so I could protect
What do i do
What do i do
Hes in charje
He gts to make the disishins
I dont no what to do 🙁
And he is lots lots biger
is all my fallt 🙁
becase i dont make it stop
becase i dont talk
becase i dont be brave
🙁
becase i dont be a good girl
the bully be rite
he say part of me must like it
but i dont 🙁 i dont
i promiss i dont
🙁 i promiss i dont
i just be to scard 🙁
It’s not your fault…but they sure make us feel that way. I understand. I hope you find a way out of this coercive control. I don’t know when this comment was written, I hope you are already safe and free! Please don’t give up.
Pilgrim, I understand a lot of what you’re saying. And to stop any abuse that is happening, you will need to find your brave. Lots of times, when people have been hurt over and over, they learn how to comply and hide and shrink back from the abuse, but they don’t learn how to stop it. They learn to do what the abuser says to do, with as little pain as possible, with as little damage as possible, but they don’t learn how to get away or make it stop completely. Breaking that cycle takes a whole lot of new learning.
Learning what to do to STOP the abuse is a completely different set of steps. It takes learning more, figuring out what is actually happening, doing things that get you further away from the abuser person, and not getting stuck near the abuser-person. It means having the courage to see what happens, how it happens, who it happens to, and finding ways to get far away from the abuser person in the outside world, not just getting far away in the inside world.
The body needs safety too, so what can you and your people do that keeps the body far far away from the person who is hurting you?
I understand how scary this is… but also, it’s going to stay scary and painful until you and someone else in your system joins together with others in your system to start being brave. If you want to keep or increase your safety, you will need to decide to do a lot of new things — things that create better boundaries and more distance between you and any hurting-person.
Too scared will keep you stuck. Who else wants to help you STOP that from happening over and over? Build your team of helpers!