As I continue to write posts about working with child parts, I want to encourage you to think about this topic as well. Read the following questions, and be honest with yourself – think about them. Journal about them, and make these questions the topics of discussion in your internal meetings. Try the acronym exercises if you need a starting place.
- What are your beliefs about child parts? Who are they? What are they? Why do you have child parts?
- What are your healing and therapy goals for working with your child parts?
- Do you want your child parts to grow older? Or are you happy to incorporate them into your life at whatever age they are?
- Would you feel better if your child parts grew up? What would you lose if they got older? What would you gain?
- Do you remember the same things the child parts remember? If not, do you believe them? Why or why not? Do you understand why they might have different memories than you?
- Do you know how to comfort, soothe, and protect your child parts in safe and healthy ways? List out viable options. Examine various barriers causing complications and troubles for you.
- Can you sit near your child parts without hurting them, and without having any unhealthy or destructive internal struggles? If not, do you know what gets in the way of this happening or how to address the issues? If so, are you able to hold their hand or let them sit with you in a safe and comforting way?
- Do any of your child parts bring joy, laughter, and smiles to your life? How so?
- Do any of your child parts carry your pain? Your emotions? Your trauma memories? If so, what are you doing to address those issues?
- Are you actively involved in aggressively protecting your child parts from anyone inside or outside that will hurt them? Why or why not? What are you doing that is effective? Where do you need help?
Working with child parts is a complicated and critical part of the therapy for trauma survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Your approach to your kids, your values and your beliefs about the kids will affect how you do your work with them.
Is your approach effective?
If you were the child, would you want to interact with you?
Give your inside kids the best of what you’ve got. Give your kids the depths of what they need. Learn healthy ways to provide for and overcome the years of neglect and abuse they endured. Let your kids have Corrective Emotional Experiences!! They deserve oodles and gobs of kindness, comfort, appreciation, and understanding for the hard stuff they endured for you.
Help them to heal their hurts, and to feel the true beauty of being a child.
Remember, as your inside children can feel good, you can feel good. As long as they feel alone and stuck in their trauma, so will you.
Healing is a team effort! Work together, help each other, and then EVERYONE gets to move out of the terrible trauma spots and into a happier, safer, prettier, calmer place in life.
Copyright © 2008-2018 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation