Hi Everyone,
I am busily working on some new posts in response to the excellent comments made by the readers here. You have been asking good questions and making thought-provoking points. I’m looking forward to responding to as many of these comments as I can.
Thank you for your active participation – it is really exciting to see so many folks showing up around here already!!!
In the meantime, since all of you are frequently online, and clearly many of you are dissociative trauma survivors, I want to encourage you to read some very well written articles about internet safety and internet predators:
- Internet Predators: They Really Are Everywhere
- Internet Predators: One Way They Work
- Internet Predators and Child Alters: 10 Ideas to Keep Them Safe
These excellent articles are all available on Rocking Complacency, http://rockingcomplacency.wordpress.com. For that matter, this entire blog is good. If you are up to reading through the whole thing, I certainly recommend it!
The whole subject of internet predators is highly troubling and deeply disturbing. They work relentlessly to discredit the helpers, to prey on the vulnerable, to manipulate the gullible, to control the unsuspecting, and to deceive the needy while greedily feeding their own dark agendas. Dissociative trauma survivors are particularly at risk for getting used and hurt in these ways.
Solid prevention information / education can be enormously useful. It can help you prevent some serious harm, and can give you tips on how to better protect your system.
During my years of working with DIDer’s online, I have become aware of too many situations where naïve trusting DID survivors were led down the garden path by someone they trusted, only to find out, painfully too late, that their “friend” was an internet predator. It seems that warning people that are caught in the midst of this process falls on deaf ears – they get hooked and tangled in their predator’s web before they even realize it. They can’t see it happening, and all too often, they’ve been well-coached ahead of time on how to respond when an outsider catches wind of the dangers they are in. 
By recommending the above-mentioned articles, my hopes are that many of you will become more aware of the danger signs ahead of time. If you recognize a predator’s tricks and ploys as they happen, you will have a greater chance of removing yourself and your system from their grasp, and staying safe.
Safety first!
Warmly,
Kathy
Copyright © 2008-2017 Kathy Broady MSW and Discussing Dissociation
Hi KB
I’ve read this blog, it’s full of “good stuff” and these articles about predators are extremely valuable. I would like to mention being drawn into a form of self defacement on DID lists. One of those is the denial of SRA & MCA, where your voice is “shut down” by other survivors wishing to marginalize another’s experience and in turn their reality. Like the use of the FBI report that claims there is no such thing as SRA because a cult wasn’t found. Calling another’s experience false or exaggerated can pull us/ survivors into self denial and that can be really harmful. Ravin
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I would add to Ravin’s post.
That same denial can turn cruel, even abusive. Some question whether these folk are DID, even wonder that they might BE predatorsl. What survivors sometimes fail to recognize is the darker side of DID, the side that has it’s own echo of predatory behaviors and possibly selves that have no other life experience but to abuse. This is not to excuse, but to warn. I myself would have abused if not for the experience to understand choice. Still, some selves choose to hunt, take and use in the ways they were schooled, it is wise to recognize this in our own/other’s selves and the DID community at large. Not all survivors are made of hearts and flowers, some of us have been trained to hunt, harm, even kill. Keeping safe means being aware of what is being conveyed or requested. Pith
Hi Ravin,
Hi Pith,
Thanks for writing back. I’m glad you read the posts on RockingComplacency — they are excellent, aren’t they??!!!! There’s a new article up there since the day I made my post about that blog — I recommend reading that one as well.
I think your comments are excellent, and I’d like to pass them over to RockingComplacency too — especially since RC has been writing the series on predators. If you are up to it… I’m sure RC’d be glad to have a direct comment from you as well. You’ve brought up some really good points here, and I for one, would like to hear what RC has to say in response….
Pith – you have had the courage to bring up a topic that many DID people are afraid to speak of. There is absolutely a darker side to DID. There is no doubt about that whatsoever. Many of the “dayside” people / parts are afraid of their darker sides, and/or… haven’t had the chance-opportunity-courage to address what’s on the other side, but I can promise you, there is a darker side of something over there. I absolutely know – recognize – have seen without a doubt that there are many that have been trained to hunt, harm, and kill. And learning about choice, and new things, and other options, and free thinking, and safety, etc etc is crucial to reaching the dark selves locked onto those sides. It is not their fault that they were exposed to the predators in those extremely dark worlds. But, we can’t leave them locked away and isolated there either. It is not ok to leave them abandoned and alone over there. In order to heal the whole system, everyone gets a chance to get away from the abuse. And that means, reaching these very very dark ones that have been directly exposed to, trained by, and controlled by the perpetrators.
And…. that’s a huge huge piece of work. It doesn’t happen easily or quickly, but reaching the dark ones is absolutely crucial. I can’t say that strong enough.
Thanks for your comments, moreheads. Well said. You’re a brave soul, moreheads. Thank you for your courage to bring this topic to light.
Kathy
Hi Kathy, thanks for your comment on my blog. I don’t have DID but I have online friends who have, and your blog looked very interesting hence my posting it on my blogroll, so I can keep track of it. 🙂
Best wishes
HF
Hi HF,
I don’t have DID either, but some of my very most favorite people in the whole world do!!
Thanks for your interest in my blog, and it looks like your friends are fortunate to have you as a friend.
I hope you’re having a good day —
Kathy
Hello Ravin and Pith —
Kathy was nice enough to let me know this comment was over here. I’m glad you liked the posts on my blog.
Ravin — I agree, denial is not a good thing for any of us. And it seems unfair if we can’t get support even from our so-called support groups. But I think I would contend… that it is up to us to develop the strength to be sure of ourselves regardless of what others say, since that isn’t something we can control. Other people can and will say what they want, but we are the ones who know our own truth, not them. I guess I think, since we can’t force people to validate or support us… that we need to have the inner fortitude to hold to our truth regardless. If that makes sense.
Pith — It’s kind of funny, the post I wrote today actually touched (just lightly) on this subject. It is one I am familiar with. Some predators may be dissociative themselves. But I also do not consider DID to be an excuse. And I still think those of us who have chosen other paths need to do our best to protect ourselves from anyone who would do us harm, including other survivors. That’s just how I feel about that.
Anyway, thanks for coming to read.
RockerGirl
http://rockingcomplacency.wordpress.com/
KB and RockerGirl
Sorry this has taken such a while to come back to, LIFE, gets complicated.
Thank you KB for passing the comments over to RC’s site.
I agree with you RockerGirl that we must/can only be responsible for our own safety. I do believe it’s fair to warn folks that places we would HOPE are safe can in fact have those who aren’t. Those with very negative energy and agendas participating along side those who are genuinely wishing to share and be compassionate.
I’m a firm believer in “to thy own self be true.”
I will post this over on your site as well, late but respectful.
Ravin
To both,
Learning to walk among ‘the different’ with an open mind is not the easy way of it, but the reward is freedom. Of course one has to learn first what freedom means, it’s not something those fostered and fed on those things Hadonist and Sadistic.
Pith
Hi Everyone,
I want to share a link with you about how an internet predator has been linked to suicides.
This stuff really does happen!
http://www.sundaymercury.net/news/midlands-news/2009/03/08/internet-predator-linked-to-coventry-suicide-and-dozens-of-deaths-66331-23089855/
If you are dissociative, please work extra hard at watching / supervising / hearing all conversations your child parts have online (your child parts will be the most vulnerable to this kind of perpetration). Make it a goal in therapy to gain that kind of system communication even if you don’t have it now.
There are some crazy sicko people out there that are willing to manipulate and control your internal parts into doing extreme behaviors, including suicidal behaviors. The way you can protect yourself is to make sure that no one can use your dissociative walls against you.
There are a number of things you can do to protect your system. Please read the articles linked above, http://rockingcomplacency.wordpress.com/category/internet-predators/ for more specific info. And / or join http://www.SurvivorForum.com for ongoing group education about developing safety from online predators.
You can be safe – but you will probably have to do some hard work to ensure that. But it’s worth it. You and your safety are definitely worth it.
Kathy
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